I can see the pain in Ivy’s face as she lies next to me. It kills me that I did this to her, but something wouldn’t let me move forward last night and love her the way that she deserves. Staring up at the stark white ceiling, I wonder if we had fucked, would things be just as awkward?

Scooting closer to Ivy, I pull her body against mine, but she stiffens -- the affection from yesterday has vanished. Like everything else in my life, I’ve fucked this up too. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, like an apology is really going to make a difference. It’s a little too late for that now.

“Me too,” she says.

Holding her in my arms feels so right; that’s how I know that I did what I had to. I need her, this connection. I can’t be without it.

“Is it because I’m not Zoë?” she asks me. Her question immediately catches me off guard.

What the fuck is going through her mind?

“God, no, Ivy. Why would you ask me that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Letting out a deep sigh, I contemplate how to answer this. “In a way, it is because you aren’t her. You’re the exact opposite. Yes, we’ve bonded over losing her, but when I am with you, it’s one of the only times that my mind is completely clear of the turmoil that I have faced. I don’t want to lose that. This last week apart was horrible. I drank worse than I ever have and I wasn’t myself. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in life, especially since I lost Zoë and I’m scared that if we push things too fast and do something that neither of us can take back or one of us regrets, it’ll be our demise. Then, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“So is that what sleeping with me will be, just a regret?”

Flipping her onto her back, I cradle her face gently in my palms. “A regret is the last thing in this world that you are. You’re the only bit of light that I have left.”

Scrunching my eyebrows together, I lean down and crash my lips against hers. She accepts my kisses, and yet again the closeness puts my body into overdrive. Everything that has been asleep for so long awakens, Ivy stimulates me on a different level than anyone else. The thought of being with her for the first time has my heart pounding, and I actually feel safe letting my guard down. Reaching under her t-shirt I slide my hand up her hot body and grip hard on her tit, causing her to cry out. She parts her legs and I scoot on top of her. Our tongues are a jumbled mess. Mixing and weaving together, every stroke sends a jolt of ecstasy to the tip of my dick.

Our bodies line up and I push my hard dick against her. Her wet panties make my cock drip for her. “Is this what you want?” I ask ripping the covers off the bed and looking down at us.

“Yes.”

I push her shirt up, letting her flawless tits free, admiring their beauty. Then as I take my lips and wrap them around one of her nipples, she runs her fingernails up my back and I slow down, taking my time teasing her. If we are going to do this, we’re doing it my way. She moans again and I tell her, “Let me hear what I do to you.”

She whines louder and I pull away, bracing my weight above her. My cock is throbbing for her and I press the head of my shaft against her. “Tell me you want me.”

“I want you!”

God, she turns me on.

Even with some clothing separating us, I know being inside of her will be the best feeling in the entire world. Grinding my dick along her clit I say, “Tell me nothing will change.”

“You know it won’t.”

“Tell me!” I growl.

“Nothing will change, Krane.”

Moving my body next to hers, I kiss her neck and snake my hand inside of her panties.

Christ, she’s fucking wet.

Her smooth pussy excites me. Needing to see it, I remove her underwear and stare down at her soft, white skin. Running my eyes up her body, her t-shirt is pulled above her tits and from there down she is bare. Running my thumb back and forth over her clit, she keeps her eyes on me. Trailing them all over my tattooed body.

She runs a hand down my side and tugs on my boxers. “Take these off.”

I don’t like letting go of her, but freeing my cock is invigorating. Sitting up she grabs my dick, stroking it, and by the way she touches me I know this will be an incredible orgasm. I watch her eyes as her lips mold around the end of my shaft and then slowly descend down it. Being in this moment with Ivy makes everything worth it.

I hold her hair out of the way so I can see her lips, so stretched and moist as she sucks me. Each movement is met with the twist of her grip, and after this, I’ll never have another woman’s lips on me. My balls are tight as I ask her, “Do you want my cum?”

She pulls away, still stroking me, and I place my hand over hers to cease her movements. She kneels with me on the bed and leans into my neck kissing and sucking a little along the way and says, “In my pussy.”

“What?” I ask, making sure that I heard her clearly.

“I want your cum inside my pussy. I’m on birth control, so no condom. I want to feel every bit of you.”

She takes her shirt off before leaning back. Reaching down with a free hand, she makes large circles over her pussy and I’m doomed. I’ll last about thirty seconds inside of her.

I grip my dick hard watching her like this. She begins to moan rubbing herself faster and I pull her hand away lining my cock up with her. My breathing is fast and I move slowly as I enter her body. Every inch feels more amazing than I’ve ever imagined.

Ivy grips the sheets, crying out in enjoyment, and once I am nestled all the way in, I tell her, “Don’t come, whatever you do, don’t come ‘til I say so.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to enjoy you.” I back out a little and then slam into her.

“Fuck!” she screams.

“When you come, I’ll lose it, okay?”

She nods her head quickly and I hold her face in my hands. Kissing her tenderly, just like the slow long movements of my dick in and out of her. She feels so fucking good that everything inside of my body almost hurts.

Her legs are slacked to the sides and I raise myself above her, watching what my cock does to her. Every thrust bounces her perky tits. Her eyes are closed and she moves her hand, getting a hard grip on one of her nipples. “Oh fuck!” I groan as she pinches it hard.

I can’t watch her like this. Pulling out of her heavenly slit that is fiercely holding me inside of her, I flip her over. Her back is gorgeous as she arches in the sexiest way. She wiggles her ass for me and I grab a handful of it, as I guide myself back into her.

This angle is so much deeper. Squeezing her hard, I remind myself to let up and take my time. Slowing down to control the urge of coming, she wiggles, meeting my movements and I stay frozen. “Mhhh, that’s it, fuck me,” I order her. Right away she pushes upwards and is screaming on her hands and knees, “Oh my God, Krane!”

My hands can’t help but roam her body and when she starts to shake a little, like she’s about to come, I hold on to her, ceasing all movement. “Don’t come, not yet.”

She nods and lies completely still underneath me. Taking both of her hands, I pin them together above her head, and then gradually, I begin to move. With her outstretched body beneath mine and in my full control, I stroke myself just how I want.

My cum is brewing, from deep inside of me. Every nerve ending is igniting on all cylinders. “Let go,” I order her and wait for her noises to pitch. They do, right as the first shot of cum fills her, unleashing an animal from inside of me.

I pump myself into her vigorously, fiercely grunting, holding her flat against the mattress loving the way her body comes underneath mine. She rattles and shakes, holding my cock like a vice. Then when the last bit of cum leaves me, I cannot slow my movements, so I release her hands, bracing my weight by her sides and continue to smash into her.

“Oh, Krane!” she screams reaching for anything to hold on to as I come again, a violent blow filling her. Ivy lets go right along with me. Our bodies working so well together, like they were meant to be one. Both of us experience the world’s greatest pleasure, brought together by the most horrific grief, and for some strange reason we’ve found an acceptance within the boundaries of our relationship. A blessing from Zoë rings in my mind, as her words replay like a broken record, again and again.

Everything happens for a reason.