“She fainted,” Dakota informed her brother.
Josh had been stewing all night, and now that morning had arrived, he realized how little good that did for him. He had a pounding headache and could barely keep his lids open, which was a shame considering the two meetings he’d scheduled for later in the afternoon after learning about Hailee.
“Is she okay?” Josh realized he was a little too quick with his question.
“Emilia had a soft landing, if that’s what you mean.”
“Don’t call her that,” Josh snapped, rubbing his temples.
“That’s her name, Josh. She legally changed it.”
Josh ignored his sister’s statement. “Is she okay though? Do you know why she fainted?” He didn’t like the fact that he still cared.
He couldn’t get over the nerve she had to offer advice to women all across the globe about a subject she obviously knew very little about.
“She wouldn’t go to the hospital. She just brushed it off and said it was because she hadn’t had enough water.” Dakota went silent on the other end of the phone.
“But?” Josh prompted.
“It happened fairly quickly after I mentioned you.”
“What did you say?”
“Only that she’d barely missed your visit to Silver Ridge or something. I can’t remember.”
“That shouldn’t make her collapse.”
“Maybe she was nervous she’d see you.” She let out a sigh. “You remember how nervous she’d get back in high school. She fainted in the choir, fell right off the back bleacher. One minute she was singing, and the next there was a hole where she once stood. My guess is that it had nothing to do with hydration and everything to do with her high school crush.”
Hearing him referred to as nothing more than a crush stung even though he knew his sister meant nothing by it.
“Then why’d she come back to town if she was that freaked out about seeing me?”
“Maybe she knew you weren’t living there any longer.”
“I doubt she’s given me much thought at all, Dakota.” Josh laughed. “But thank you for trying to make me feel like I’m still the man she—”
“First of all, you were only eighteen, so you were kind of in the boy category, not man.” Dakota chuckled. “You still slept with your door cracked.”
Josh laughed and threw his head back with pure adoration. His sister could always make him laugh, even when he was feeling pretty low like he was now.
“I only kept my door cracked because you were afraid of the dark growing up. It was habit.”
“Whatever you say to get you through the day, big brother,” Dakota teased. “I’m sure it would hurt your cred with the ladies if they knew you were afraid of the dark. I think that’s why you had to move to some big city. So you wouldn’t be alone at night. You’d have a building full of people in case you got scared.”
“You got me.” Josh smiled, knowing his sister got most of her pleasure from ribbing him, and if it were anyone except her, he wouldn’t put up with it, but he’d always had a soft spot for Dakota. Not only was she a fantastic sister, but she was also one of his best friends.
He knew how hurt she was when Hailee left as well. It wasn’t only his heart that was broken.
“So did anyone help Hailee back to wherever she was staying?”
“It’s Emilia, and yes, Joel drove her back to the cottage she’s renting from him.”
“Hailee’s renting a cottage from Joel, and he didn’t tell me?”
What kind of cousin code did the North brothers live by?
“I suppose you could surmise that. Anyway, Emilia seemed genuinely touched by all the people who came out to see her.”
“Was that before or after she went down for the count?”
“After. She’d managed to stay upright for a good couple of hours, I’d say. Maybe a little less.” Dakota let out a deep breath. “Do you plan on flying out here?”
“For her?” Josh asked and then answered his own question. “No.”
“Have you looked her up?”
“Sure did, and it’s such a crock.”
“You think so?” Dakota asked.
“I do. How can she write about any of that stuff considering her past?”
“You mean her past with you eighteen years ago?” Dakota sounded exasperated. “I’m sure quite a lot has happened to her in the last eighteen years to give her some kind of insight beyond high school.”
Dakota had usually sided with Josh over the years, so he was surprised she was so lenient when it came to Hailee.
“You know what I mean,” he grumbled.
“So you’re pissed because she hasn’t been mourning the loss of your relationship for the last two decades? That’s not very realistic.”
“Is she in a relationship?” Josh wished he hadn’t asked the question because he really didn’t want to know the answer.
“No. Emilia is only casually dating, which she said gave her great stories for her blog.”
“Is that so?” Josh folded his arms across his chest and sank deeper into the couch. There was a part of him that wanted to call off the meetings he’d scheduled and forget that Hailee landed back in Silver Ridge and he now knew how to contact her.
Josh pulled his laptop from the coffee table and sighed into the phone.
“Cheer up, Josh.” Dakota chuckled softly. “I’m sure she’d see you if you want.”
“I don’t want.” Josh laughed, realizing he sounded like a toddler. He pulled up Hailee’s blog and let out a sigh.
Her last several entries were light and funny, but they all had a definite pattern. She wanted to empower women with humor and levity while instilling confidence and a widespread cynicism for the male species.
He highly doubted he produced that skepticism in her from his mere high school existence, but he also didn’t want to spend any time thinking about who might have.
“Well, I’m back on Fireweed, but if I hear anything juicy, I’ll let you know. I told her she could stop by my studio if she wanted to, but I don’t know if she’ll take me up on that offer. It’s kind of out of the way on her way back to Oregon.”
Josh grunted as he half listened to his sister, but wholly read Hailee’s blog post. There was no doubt about it. She had a gift for writing. She knew her audience and narrowed in on the topics they wanted to hear about.
“Okay, so I’ll talk to you later. Love ya.” Dakota blew a kiss into the phone.
“Love you too.” Josh hung up and debated about whether he wanted to go through with what he was about to do.
Sure. Some people might think he wasn’t playing fairly, and they’d be right. But Josh never believed in fair. As his father always used to say, “There’s no such thing as fair except for the kind you go to.” And ever since Hailee had walked out of his life, he fully believed that.
Josh also didn’t believe in luck other than the kind a person created for themselves. If a person waited around for someone else to make their dreams and goals a reality, they’d be waiting an awfully long time wondering why the world wasn’t fair. It was a vicious cycle and one he’d never let himself fall into.
He landed on Hailee’s homepage and couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. While not getting any sleep last night, all he could think about was how gorgeous and filled with light she seemed to be. She’d let her hair go back to her natural strawberry-blonde, and the wholesomeness he’d loved back in high school still glowed all around her.
He laced his fingers behind his head and stretched his legs in front of him, thinking about Hailee. Why had she left without a word? Was it something he did? After her grandparents died, she’d pulled away a little bit, but nothing more than would be expected. He’d tried to be there for her and thought he did a good job, but at eighteen, how quickly can a burden like that be lifted? He let out a deep breath and shook his head as the memories of Hailee Howard flooded his world.
There was a reason he couldn’t get her out of his mind after all these years.
Josh was still in love with her or at least the version of her he last knew.
He sat up on the couch and leaned forward toward his laptop and clicked on her last blog post. The last line read, You can’t be genuine if you genuinely don’t know who you are, and Josh realized Hailee was talking about herself more than to the woman who’d reached out.
Josh let out a disgruntled sigh as he thought about the woman he’d let slip away so many years ago. Whether it was Hailee or Emilia, he understood who she was whether she wanted to believe it or not.
The one thing Josh knew with absolute certainty was that he wouldn’t meet Emilia Hudson on her terms. He wasn’t about to play her games. If anything, it was about time she played his.