Ben

Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

This wasn’t good at all. She was supposed to be a chubby, bespectacled board of a girl, not a curvy, smoking-hot young woman. Her chubbiness had melted to glorious curves that needed caressing while I drove myself inside her slick heat. The kind of curves that would provide the perfect amount of cushioning while thrusting into her.

I forced myself to look away and take several deep breaths while she and Elle were reacquainted. This was a disaster, but I couldn’t lose focus or reveal any hint of what I was thinking. The last thing I needed to do was scare her away, and if I came across as a creepy old lech, she wouldn’t stick around no matter how much she liked Elle.

When there was a lull in the moment my daughter and the nanny were sharing, I took a step closer and held out my hand. When she accepted it, I had to bite back a groan at the arc of electricity that zinged my palm. “Thank you for helping us out, Lindsay. I’m sorry for the short notice.”

She smiled, and the shyness there was somehow infinitely more seductive than the open flirtation I was accustomed to from women who wanted me.

“I’m happy to help, and this was an unexpected opportunity for me. Mr. Baylor said—”

I held up a finger. “Hold that thought, if you don’t mind. We’ll talk about everything very soon, but we’re on our typical morning deadline. Elle needs to have breakfast so the driver can take her to school, and there’s not much time left.”

“You aren’t coming?” asked Elle with a frown of concern.

I looked down at my daughter. “I had planned to stay here and work out details with Lindsay before she settles in.”

She bit her lip, anxiety evident in her ocean-blue eyes. “Couldn’t you both come with me and talk in the limo?”

I arched a brow at Lindsay. “Do you have classes this morning?”

“Not until eleven a.m. today, Mr. Hudson.”

“Please call me Ben. You’re an adult now, so we don’t need to be so formal.” Though the thought of her calling me Mr. Hudson while I fucked her was making my cock twitch.

I shouldn’t be thinking such things. I most especially shouldn’t be contemplating pinning her to the wall and taking her in one deep thrust. I cleared my throat when Elle touched my hand. I must have checked out of the conversation for a moment there. “I think that would be fine, then, honey.”

With a little bounce, Elle turned from me with Lindsay following. I reached out, hand hovering at the small of Lindsay’s back, without bridging the distance. Electricity still pulsed between us. I couldn’t afford even a slight touch, or I’d want it all. So much more, and she was completely forbidden. Lindsay was there for Elle’s emotional well-being, not as my sex toy.

Young women like her didn’t know how to play the sex-only-for-pleasure game, and I wasn’t going to make the mistake of having another relationship. Ashe had cost me more than I’d ever expected, and way more than financially. I’d lost the ability to trust, let alone love, someone again. Lindsay deserved better than a quick fuck, and that was all I had to offer.

After breakfast, the three of us slid into the limo. It was utter stupidity on my part, but I couldn’t help arranging it so Lindsay was between Elle and me. Her thigh pressed against mine, and though her skirt was modest, it had ridden up enough to give me a good view of about four inches of thigh above the knee. Even as I felt ridiculous, I was getting hard at the sight of her creamy flesh. It felt like I was just discovering girls and stealing my mom’s lingerie catalog, the way the blood was running from my brain and straight to my cock.

She looked at me right then, and I blushed like a teenager. For fuck’s sake, what was wrong with me? Lindsay looked puzzled, but I was certain her pupils were dilated, and she seemed to be breathing heavier than a quick elevator ride and short walk to the car would excuse. If she was half as turned on as I was, this arrangement would be in deep trouble. How could I resist?

“Dad said you’re going to stay for a long time, Lindsay. Is that true?”

Elle asked the question with such mistrust, but blind hope, that it made my chest clench. It also reminded me of exactly why I had to resist the desire pulsing through me, even if I hadn’t yet figured out how to do so.

“We’ll have to see how it goes. You might get tired of me, sweetie. I’ve never been a nanny before.”

Elle’s eyes widened, and she seemed on the verge of tears. “I won’t get tired of you, but you’re just going to leave me like everyone else.” She almost shouted the accusation as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“That’s enough,” I said sternly. “Lindsay is here to help you, so please be kind.”

Lindsay shot me a look I couldn’t quite decipher, but it seemed to be full of censure. What? I was trying to keep Elle from hurting her feelings—and yes, from spurring her to run away and never look back. I couldn’t help hoping Elle would either be less difficult, or at least unleash it in stages. If not, I wasn’t sure the young woman whose lovely, creamy thigh pressed against me would be able to handle it. As she’d said, she wasn’t a nanny and definitely wasn’t trained in how to deal with problem children.

“I have no plans to leave for a long while, Elle,” said Lindsay as she took her hand. She ignored my daughter’s resistance. “I just want you to know that if this isn’t working out, and you aren’t happy with the situation, you can tell me to leave. No hard feelings.”

Elle looked at her with such hope in her eyes that I was afraid Lindsay’s departure might completely devastate her. It wasn’t fair that her mental state hinged on the commitment ability of an eighteen-year-old. Nor was it fair to Lindsay to be stuck in that position. The least I could do was avoid muddying the waters by allowing a hint of the attraction that burned through me to show.

“I won’t ask you to leave, Lindsay.” She was so solemn when she made the promise. “Will you stay as long as I want?”

“I’ll stay as long as I can.”

The gentle words seemed to appease Elle, and she slid out of the car at her school more buoyantly than she had for months.

Once she was gone, an awkward silence filled the car. She was looking down at her feet instead of at me, and I couldn’t seem to tear my gaze from her knee. I was starting to feel like a dirty old man and forced my gaze away. It was only when she slid over a bit that I realized we’d still been pressed together on the seat even after Elle had left.

“Mr. Baylor said you would give me a signing bonus, Mr. Hudson.” Her brown eyes were huge with obvious embarrassment when she finally looked up at me. “I hate to press you, but I really need the money.”

“It’s for tuition, right?” At her surprised nod, I reached for my briefcase and popped the latches. A second later, the checkbook was in hand, and I had my fountain pen poised over the “To” line.

“Should I make this out to you or Columbia University?”

“Columbia please. They won’t take checks from my father anymore, and probably not from me, but I doubt they’ll reject yours.” She dipped her head to hide behind her hair.

Without thinking about it, I reached out and cupped her chin, gently urging her head up.

“Don’t be ashamed for what you need, Lindsay. It’s hardly your fault, and you’re going to be working to earn it. This isn’t charity or a loan.”

Her tentative smile robbed me of the ability to breathe for a moment, and the flush of pink in her cheeks almost made me dizzy with the effort to resist leaning forward to press my lips to hers. That’s not what employers and employees did.

I forced myself to release her chin, though I swore I could still feel the softness of her skin imprinted against the whorls of my fingertips. Clearing my throat, I looked away from her and bent my head to focus on writing the check. I signed it with a flourish and handed it to her a moment later. “Do you need an advance on your salary, Lindsay?”

She shook her head. “No, thank you. I have enough to tide me over until payday. Oh! That reminds me that I have to turn in my notice at my other jobs.”

“Jobs? How many do you have?”

“Two. I was looking into a third one when Mr. Baylor contacted me. With what you’re paying, including a room, I won’t have to try to juggle the other jobs with school and taking care of Elle.”

I nodded. “Good. Just so we’re clear, Lindsay. Elle is your first priority, okay? If you start to fall behind in school, please let me know, and I’ll arrange a tutor. Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you, as long as you’re focusing on Elle.”

The naughty thoughts suddenly crowding my mind, all the things I’d like to give her—things I shouldn’t be thinking—embarrassed me when I saw the gratitude in her expression. I shielded my eyes and glanced away. “Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

My cock jumped in my pants, and I was back to feeling like an awkward teenager again. I gritted my teeth, not sure if I wanted to advise her to never use that honorific again, or if I wanted to demand she use it every time she was with me.

Dammit, I couldn’t keep losing myself in thoughts of her. “Good. May I drop you somewhere on my way to work?”

She nodded. “My apartment please. I need to pack my things. I might have time to take them over to your place before class.”

I glanced at my watch. “I’ll send Hector back for you after he drops me at the office.”

She looked almost appalled. “I couldn’t let you do that. This car must cost a fortune.”

I laughed. “Yes, but Hector gets paid a salary, and he sometimes complains of being bored during the day. You’d be doing him a favor.”

She looked skeptical. “I think you’re pulling my leg, but since I’m not really in a position to refuse, I’ll let you. Thank you, so much, Mr. Hudson.”

“Ben,” I reminded her with a smoky tinge in my voice I hadn’t intended.

She nodded.

“Say it.” I couldn’t explain it, but I needed to hear my name on her lips.

Lindsay looked hesitant, and was likely confused by my request, but she wasn’t brave enough to refuse it. “Ben,” she whispered with her head bent.

“Look at me and say it, Lindsay.”

Slowly, her head lifted, and her gaze met mine. Her cheeks were flushed, and her plump lips trembled for a moment. “Ben.”

It satisfied me in a way I couldn’t explain as I relaxed against the seat. “Thank you. Now, give me your address. I’ll tell Hector.”