Ben

Things had been awkward with Lindsay ever since our almost-kiss at the zoo. Even days later she was shying away from me—maybe because I’d made an effort to steer clear of her too. The temptation was strong. It was worrisome enough to keep me from seeing her, at least for now.

If that weren’t bad enough, Elle’s guidance counselor called to set up a meeting. Lindsay took the message and passed it on to me here at the office. Margot agreed to stay late to watch my daughter, and Lindsay agreed to come with me.

It was just about time to pick up Lindsay at the apartment and I tossed a few things in my briefcase before heading out. Hector waited with the car, and I slid inside the back. I drummed my fingers on my case as we made our way home. I buzzed Lindsay a few minutes before arrival, and she was waiting for me when the car drew up. She’d been laughing at something Bill had said, and the sight of her made me catch my breath.

She was so fucking beautiful. She radiated innocence and sweetness—all the things Ashe wasn’t. At least she had never been those things when I’d known her, though she must have been at some point, I suppose. In the early days, she’d been good at hiding her addiction. The long hours I worked to build the company and elevate our lifestyle had helped her hide it as well. I knew she drank too much alcohol, but the heroin addiction blindsided me.

Lindsay could blindside me if I wasn’t careful. Not by being a closeted addict, of course, but she could knock me off my feet without even trying. I was already feeling more for her than I wanted to… something beyond attraction. I liked her, and I wanted to spend more time with her. That was a red flag. I had to withdraw from her as much as possible.

Which didn’t explain why I scooted a bit closer to her when she took a seat beside me in the limo. My determination to pull away should have kept me from asking about her day and chatting like old friends, though with a little lingering awkwardness, as we drove to the school. Awkwardness wasn’t the right word, I decided, as we pulled up to the wrought iron gates that were closed this time of day.

As Hector communicated for entry, I tried to pinpoint the right description.

Awareness.

Yes, that was it. We both knew it, and we couldn’t hide it. We could avoid discussing it, but that didn’t make either of us any less aware of the other’s desire.

Hector stopped in front of the school a moment later, and we slid out as soon as he’d opened the door. I caught a whiff of her hair, and it made me giddy. It was citrusy and something else. I wanted to wrap a tawny strand around my hand and drag it to my nose, but that would be strange, and I wasn’t so far gone yet that I couldn’t control my impulses.

Or most of them. I couldn’t resist resting a hand on her lower back. She stiffened for a second, but didn’t move away.

Mrs. Anderson waited for us in the lobby. She strode forward on overly high Prada heels, wearing a crimson power suit. My first impression of her was one of aloofness, and I wondered how she got the school kids to confide in her.

Her warm smile and friendly greeting quickly dispelled the first impression, and she led us to a conference room. I sat down and was strangely reassured by Lindsay’s presence beside me. She clutched the arms of her chair, and I realized she was as on-edge as I was. We were both anxious to discover the reason for the meeting.

Mrs. Anderson got right to it. “Elle hid in the janitor’s closet this afternoon instead of attending class.”

I blinked. “What? She played hooky?”

“But she’s only seven,” added Lindsay, looking as puzzled as me.

The counselor nodded. “She said she had a stomach ache, but when I asked why she didn’t go to the nurse, she didn’t really explain. After some discussion, she finally told me her stomach hurt because she was afraid.”

Anger sizzled along my nerve endings. “Why was she frightened? Is someone bullying her?” I would squash that little—

The woman hesitated for a second. “No. She’s afraid of losing someone she loves. I gather there was a recent divorce?”

I nodded, feeling defensive. “I tried to make it as smooth as possible for her, but there was a drawn-out custody battle.”

She nodded. “I understand, Mr. Hudson. She’s just expressed concern that Lindsay will leave her too. She needs your ex-wife to assure her that won’t happen.”

I frowned. “My ex-wife’s name is Ashe, and she can’t be bothered to keep her visitation appointments, so I’m afraid she won’t be reassuring Elle of anything.”

“I’m Lindsay,” Lindsay said, sounding bewildered.

The counselor’s eyes widened. “Is your relationship with Mr. Hudson new? It could be a source of distress, especially if she thinks her new mother-figure will disappear as abruptly as her mother did.”

“I’m the nanny.” The words were shaky, and she blushed as she glanced briefly at me without maintaining eye contact. “That’s all.”

“Oh.” Mrs. Anderson seemed at a loss for words for a long moment. “I suppose we all just have to be understanding and go at her pace.”

“I thought we were making progress,” said Lindsay. “She’s been more engaged and happier, except today. She was withdrawn when she came home.”

“She’s probably afraid to trust that you’ll be there, Lindsay. Her anxiety makes more sense in the light that you’re an employee. She probably recognizes employees can leave much easier than mothers or stepmoms.”

Lindsay looked stricken, and I reached over to pry one of her hands from the chair almost without thought. Cradling it in mine, I said, “This isn’t your fault, Lindsay. She’s confused and scared to lose you.”

She nodded, but still looked upset. “I feel like I’ve made things worse for her instead of better.”

“No.” I couldn’t let her think that. “In spite of today’s backslide, she’s been much better. There are fewer tantrums and a lot more smiles.”

“She still acts like a little adult though.”

Mrs. Anderson spoke again. “All that both of you can do is continue to encourage her to engage in age-appropriate activities without pushing her. When she’s ready, she’ll let go of the need to control everything and in time, she’ll allow herself to be a child again.”

Lindsay looked doubtful, but nodded.

Shortly after, the meeting was over, and we walked to the limo in silence. Hector waited with the door open, and she slid in first. I followed, sitting on the same seat, but not as close this time. “Let’s get a drink and talk this over.”

Lindsay frowned. “We should probably get home to Elle.”

“An hour more won’t hurt,” I said. “We need a strategy.”

With a little sigh, she nodded. “All right.”

* * *

Almost two hours, three drinks, and one phone call from Margot announcing Elle was fast asleep, we headed back to the apartment. We were no closer to figuring out the best way to help Elle, but at least we weren’t awkward now.

Awkwardness became awareness. Lust had kindled from a spark to a raging fire, and I was certain she felt it as intensely as I did. It was a bad idea to indulge in it, but I couldn’t seem to resist adding kindling to the fire as I slid first from the limo before offering her a hand out. She took it, and I kept her hand in mine as we walked toward the building. When she trembled, I asked, “Cold?” If she was like me, she was burning up with desire.

She just shrugged as I led her into the building from the back entrance.

She looked around with a frown. “What are we doing?”

“There’s a party going on in the penthouse, so the front entrance will be packed. I had the driver bring us here instead.”

I took her to the elevator on this side of the building. “This will be faster.” She didn’t pull her hand from mine until we stood in the elevator, and the doors closed behind us. I stood behind her, but off to her side, eyeing her in the mirrored walls. She shouldn’t be so irresistible in the sweater dress and tights, but it was a struggle not to reach out to slide the shoulder down where it hung precariously on her left side.

I couldn’t resist moving behind her. Her shoulders still beckoned, and I lifted my hands. I tried to hold out for another second, but lost the willpower to do so. I cradled her shoulders in my hands and was almost embarrassed by how much pleasure I took from such a simple touch. I bent my head to hide from my own reflection for a moment and inhaled a lungful of her crisp scent. “Why do you always smell like sunshine?”

She giggled, and it was an anxious sound. “I didn’t know that I did. I’m not even sure what sunshine smells like, Ben.”

“Like citrus and happiness and innocence.” I pressed closer to her, and my cock responded, hardening against her soft body. There was no way she could miss the bulge pressing into her backside.

I pushed back her hair as she trembled, sweeping my lips across her neck before moving my mouth to her ear. “Are you very innocent, Lindsay?” Her only answer was a whimper as I nibbled down the side of her neck, as though I could devour her essence. “Are you?” I asked the question more sternly, refusing to allow her to evade answering. I had to know. I wanted to pretend to myself it was because I’d do the right thing if she was a virgin, but I knew I was lying.

I groaned when she angled her hand to touch my hip. Her hand was so tantalizingly close to my shaft, but still so far away.

“Yes.” Lindsay practically exhaled the word.

I stiffened for a moment as her words confirmed what I had expected. She was too young and inexperienced for what I wanted to do to her. She didn’t know how to guard her heart. I had no right to want to be the one to ruin her, but damned if I didn’t want that more than anything. “Fuck, that makes me hot. I should do the right thing and push you away, and we should both pretend this isn’t happening.”

She whimpered and shifted in my arms.

“That’s what I should do, but unless you tell me that’s what you want, I can’t.” I spun her in my arms, no longer content to look at her through the mirrors on the wall. I needed to see her gaze connect with mine.

There was shyness there, along with more than a hint of bravado. I think she was trying to look confident, but she still seemed unsure. “Is that what you want, baby? Do you want me to take you to my huge, empty bed, where I can make you feel good?” I bent my head to bring my lips close to hers, but didn’t kiss her. Yet. “Do you want me to sink inside you and shatter that innocence, or should I send you to your own empty bed without me?”

She stared at me with wide eyes for a long moment, and I could see her mind racing as she came to a decision. I held my breath, but I knew what her answer would be as soon as she relaxed against me.

“I want you, Ben.”

With a harsh groan, I bent my head to kiss her with all the passion I’d been holding inside. Her mouth soon softened under the onslaught of my lips against hers. I threaded my fingers through her brown locks and anchored her against me, not willing to risk the possibility of either one of us coming to our senses. Instead, I seduced her with long kisses and slow strokes of my other hand up and down the side of her body until I was certain she couldn’t think at all, let alone think about changing her mind.

I slid my hand under the hem of her sweater to explore the tender skin underneath. My fingers brushed her soft flesh, and she moaned as she writhed against me. Her mouth never left mine as my fingers managed to slip inside, moving slowly down her belly. When I stroked her pussy through her panties she moaned as she kissed me.

With a growl, I broke the kiss, wanting to see her expression as I fingered her. “Has anyone ever touched you like this?”

Lindsay shook her head, her eyes closed as she threw back her head. It left a tempting expanse of neck bared to me, and I couldn’t resist the urge to suck and nibble on her throat as my finger moved down her wet slit, gliding easily over the panties. I was certain she’d have a hickey in the morning, but I didn’t stop sucking her neck. I wanted her to wear my mark, to have proof that she was mine.

That made me pull away. It was a dangerous thought, and I couldn’t risk it. She was mine tonight, but that’s all it could be.

She opened her eyes as my fingers hesitated. Seeing confusion starting to appear, I shoved aside my doubts and slipped my finger under the side of her panties. She was warm and wet, and from that point all I could think about was sinking my cock inside her wet slit.

Her gaze didn’t leave mine as I stroked her with gradually increasing pressure. She bucked against my hand and grasped the walls of the elevator when I slid a second finger inside her. Lindsay pressed against the wall and splayed her legs, opening for me, and I murmured sounds of encouragement for her as my cock jumped and strained against my pants.

She was so tight and wet that I could barely slip two fingers inside her now, and I did so cautiously. I didn’t want to hurt her. Just get her ready for my cock. The cries she made would have told anyone outside the car what was going on, but I didn’t care. I’d pressed the “close door” button, but had never bothered to select a floor. We were playing with fire, and any of the tenants could call for the elevator at any time, but we certainly wouldn’t be the first couple who’d been fucking in this elevator. I sometimes thought the guy who’d designed Imperial had put in this elevator for this exact purpose.

She started to tremble and pitched forward. I caught her, supporting her weight in my arms as her spasming pussy clenched around my fingers. Lindsay was breathing harshly and shaking, and her cream coated my fingers. I held her as the pleasure shook her before helping her to her feet. I replaced her sweater on that creamy shoulder and made sure she was watching me when I brought my fingers to my mouth to lick off her essence. “Shall we go to my room now?”

She just nodded, leaning weakly against the elevator as I pressed the button to whisk us to the sixty-sixth floor. My cock was so hard I didn’t think it would take more than a couple of strokes inside her to come, and I took advantage of the break to regain some control. The last thing I wanted was to rush things. I wanted to savor my first—and only—night with the woman in front of me.