Jimmy sat down in front of his computer and turned it on. Once the stone-age machine booted up after what felt like an hour, he connected it to Skype. Ren was online as he said he would be.

‘Hey, baby,’ he said as soon as he saw Jimmy.

Jimmy smiled. ‘Hey,’ he replied.

They stared at each other through their respective screens.

‘Are you ready?’ he asked.

It had been a month since Ren had left for London. And, not so coincidentally, he had just found out that he had been accepted in one of London’s universities for a semester under the Erasmus exchange programme.

Which meant he couldn’t put off telling his dad any longer.

He couldn’t decide what he was scared of the most. Telling his dad he was gay or telling him he was abandoning him for a semester, if not longer.

His dad had already been through enough. He had no one else in this world other than Jimmy, who he relied on not just for financial support but also for companionship. They were in their shit situation together. How could he tell him he was leaving him?

And how would he react to Jimmy being gay? His stomach clenched at the mere thought. What if Jimmy moving to London didn’t matter? What if his dad never wanted to see him again, anyway?

His dad wasn’t a devout Greek Orthodox, but he was religious. He was also Greek. And older Greeks were less accepting of the liberal sexualities and identities taking over the Western world.

Jimmy had done his studying and watched his fair share of LGBTQ cinema since getting together with Ren. With every passing day he learned more about himself, more than he ever dared to for fear of accepting his perversion. He knew he wasn’t a pervert, of course. He knew there was nothing wrong with him. He couldn’t say he was fully comfortable with it, but he had come to terms that he couldn’t change who he was.

But the rest of the world, his world, the one he’d grown up in and was still living in, was in the dark.

‘I am and I’m not. It’s weird,’ he replied.

‘I wish I was there, Jimmy. I really do,’ Ren said, pursing his lips and touching his screen.

Jimmy chuckled. ‘I don’t know if that would make it easier or harder, to be honest.’

‘What time is he home?’ Ren asked.

‘Soon,’ Jimmy replied.

And with that he heard the metallic rustling of keys against their front door.

‘This is it,’ he said to Ren. ‘Wish me luck.’

Ren smiled. ‘It will all be okay, baby.’

Jimmy hung up on his boyfriend and went to the living room where his dad had plonked down on the couch.

‘Hey babá, you okay?’

His dad grumbled. Jimmy wanted to throw up.

‘Want some coffee? Are you hungry?’

Jimmy started making a frappé for his dad. He always had one after work.

‘You’re being extra nice all of a sudden. What happened now?’ he asked with a deep frown.

‘Nothing. Eleos, can’t I just be nice?’

‘You can, but usually you only are when you’ve done something bad,’ his dad insisted.

Jimmy’s insides expanded. He was struggling to breathe.

‘Oh, gamoto, we can never be nice in this family without a reason,’ he said. ‘All I wanted was to talk,’ he stormed off back into his room.

‘Ade, talk then,’ his dad shouted behind him.

‘Forget it,’ he said and slammed the door to his bedroom.

Moments later his dad opened it again. ‘Stop acting like a baby and say what you want to say. What kind of a man are you?’ his dad yelled.

Jimmy took a deep breath. And that’s why he couldn’t tell him. There were so many things that in his dad’s mind defined his manhood that he had lost count. Even if he was straight, he was sure he’d miss something and be deemed lesser by his dad. So how could he tell his dad something that so many backwards people found emasculating?

‘Remind me again how I’m not a man because I’m not like you. It’s been a while since I’ve heard it,’ he yelled back.

‘For fuck’s sake, will you speak to me? I can’t ask you a question anymore without you loading on me about how I’ve failed you as a father. I’m sorry I care and want to see you do something more with your life than waste it in all the shit I’ve wasted mine,’ his father answered.

He hadn’t failed him as a father. He hated his dad thinking that.

‘You haven’t failed me as a father,’ he said. More of a murmur than clear words.

‘Then talk to me. Tell me what you want to tell me,’ he said.

‘I—I,’ he said. How did he start to say what he wanted to say? This was not how he wanted to come out to his dad. Not amidst a fight. ‘I’m going to London,’ he said instead.

His father stared at him. His mouth hung open.

‘I got through with Erasmus,’ he explained.

‘But—what—what’s going to happen with your job here? How are you going to pay for everything? How am I going to pay for everything? You don’t have anyone there. You don’t know anyone,’ Stavros stuttered.

Jimmy pursed his lips. He had to remind himself he had more important things to tell his dad than get upset at him for being caught off-guard. They would have time to discuss everything later. He still had a month and a half before he went away. He needed to do this now before he chickened out. It was now or never.

‘I do know someone in London. Ren. My boyfriend,’ he said.

‘Ok, so you’ve got a friend, but is he going to support you? Is he going to help you if you’re broke? Friends are not family.’

Jimmy felt sorry for his dad for never having developed any friendships other than with his wife. If he knew how strong his friendship with the guys was he wouldn’t say that.

‘You misunderstood me, babá. Ren is my boyfriend, my partner. I’m—I’m gay. And I know you will hate me for the rest of your life and you think it’s wrong, and you think I’ve been shown the sinful path and all of this malarkey, but...but,’ he couldn’t control his tears. He started panting, the words unable to form anymore.

He cried, standing in the middle of the room with his dad as witness.

He felt arms around him and he opened his eyes to find himself engulfed in his father’s arms.

‘Calm down, princess,’ he laughed. ‘Once again you’re putting words into my mouth and assuming the worst of me,’ he said and released him from his arms. ‘You know, me and your mum talked about you since you were a toddler? I’ve had nineteen years to get used to the idea you might be different. It doesn’t mean I understand it, but I want to. And I don’t want you being upset about it. What I’m more concerned about is you going to London to be with this kid and abandoning everything you have here.’

Jimmy wiped his eyes. He didn’t know how he felt hearing his dad say those things and a tickle on the bridge if his nose threatened to make him tearful again.

‘Trust me, dad. I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s a special guy,’ he replied, but it didn’t feel like it was him speaking. It felt as if he was watching this moment on TV, a show he wasn’t part of. How could he be talking about boyfriends with his dad?

‘Well, he must be, if he took an interest in you,’ his dad said.

Jimmy grimaced and Stavros slapped his arm with a chuckle.

‘Can we have a coffee like normal people? Sit down and talk? What are we? English?’ he asked and pointed towards the living room.

‘I didn’t know you had a sense of humour, babá,’ Jimmy said.

‘Well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.’ his dad responded.

Jimmy smiled. Maybe it was all going to be okay, after all.