The rest of the weekend passed quietly. Camilla had hoped that Tom might text her to invite her round that evening or the next day, but the text he sent her at ten-thirty Sunday morning said that he’d fed HP after he’d arrived home on Saturday, then lay down on his bed for a nap and hadn’t woken until six am on Sunday. He’d had errands to run, like food shopping and cleaning the car, and he said he hoped to see her in the week. She wondered if he was being deliberately cool, if he was really that cool about their relationship, or if he was trying to remain in control of his own feelings.

Camilla had gone to Jackie’s for Sunday lunch and enjoyed her time there with Dawn, Rick and the children, and felt some hope that things would work out all right for her parents after all. It was still a bit strange having Laurence around but she knew she could get used to it. And seeing her mother so happy, positively glowing in fact, made Camilla want it to work out with all of her heart.

The week passed in a blur as she was busy meeting clients before the start of the Christmas break. Being self-employed, it was tempting to keep working right up to Christmas Day but for the first time in years, she found that she didn’t want to. She wanted to enjoy some time with her family and, if possible, some time with Tom.

On Thursday evening, Tom sent a text to ask her to meet him at The Red Fox on Friday for lunch. He said he was taking a half day in order to travel back to Brighton that evening. Camilla’s heart had sunk. She hadn’t realised he was going on the Friday but comforted herself with the fact that he’d said he’d be back for Christmas, as the locum vet covering him couldn’t do Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

Camilla replied and told him she’d be there at one. And she was, walking into the pub with her heart in her mouth. She hadn’t seen Tom since the previous Saturday and she’d missed him. So much so that she had an ache in her chest and worried that she’d become emotional when she laid eyes on him.

Tom was already at the bar and he smiled when he saw her. The pub was warm and cosy and Camilla removed her hat and gloves as she approached Tom.

“Hey there, beautiful.” Tom kissed her cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

“You have?” Camilla unbuttoned her coat and shrugged out of it then hooked it over her arm.

“Yes, of course. It’s just been a mad week. What with call-outs and emergency surgeries and the like, you’d think every animal in the vicinity was trying to get their ailments out of the way before Christmas.” He ran a hand through his dark hair. “I’m exhausted. The last thing I feel like on a Friday is travelling back to Brighton. I’d much prefer to spend it in front of the TV with a delightful companion.”

“I’m sure HP would like that too.”

Tom frowned. “I meant with you.”

Camilla laughed. “I hoped you did.”

“What can I get you?”

“I’ll have a coffee, please.”

Tom paid for two coffees then they took them to a table near the fireplace.

“What have you been up to?” he asked as he hung his coat over the back of a chair.

“Work. Sunday lunch with my parents. You know… the usual.” She huffed. “Actually, not the usual. It’s still really strange saying my parents rather than just my mother.”

“It will probably take a while to get used to it. How’s it going anyway… with your mum and dad?”

“They seem happy.” Camilla worried her bottom lip. “At least, that’s how I think they seem. It’s almost like he never went away.”

“That’s good, right?”

She nodded.

“Anyway, what time are you leaving?”

“About four. I was thinking later initially, but if I hit traffic, I don’t want to be too late arriving. I’ve already packed what I need for the weekend.”

“What about Christmas presents? You haven’t had time to get any have you?”

A grin spread across his face. “Don’t tell them but I ordered from Amazon. I had a delivery yesterday to the surgery, so Mum and Dad are all sorted.”

“I like your thinking.”

“Camilla… I had a great time on Saturday. I didn’t want the day to end.”

She swallowed hard. “Me either.”

“I’d like to do it again some time. If you would?”

“What go to a Christmas market?”

“Not just that. A day out. Wherever you fancy. Before or after Christmas.”

“That would be lovely. Why not both?”

As she gazed into Tom’s eyes, his pupils dilated and her stomach fluttered. She could look at him all day long and not get bored.

“What’re you doing this weekend?”

“I promised Allie I’d help her pack food parcels for the elderly folks in the village. She does it every year… fills boxes with her cakes, jams and a bottle of something then delivers them to anyone she knows who is in need of a treat.”

“Your weekend will be taken up visiting then?”

Camilla nodded. “I don’t mind. I always end up thinking about how lonely it must be when you don’t have anyone around. Lots of people don’t, especially if their friends and partners have passed on.”

Tom nodded. “Life can be lonely whatever age you are but especially if you’re elderly and can’t get out and about.”

Camilla sipped her coffee as she pondered his comment. She’d never thought of herself as lonely, preferring to see herself as a busy career woman with friends and family to visit and her own pretty little cottage to go back to. However, since she’d spent time with Tom, she found being alone hard. It was as if she missed his gentle presence, his warmth and his smile and she thought about him constantly. She’d never had a man take up so much of her heart and mind before and she wondered if he thought about her too.

But he probably didn’t. She knew men liked her looks and that they wanted her company, especially if they wanted an attractive companion for an evening out or a weekend away, but she’d never had a deeper connection with those men, even if they’d slept together. It had been physical and fun and nothing more. But with Tom, they’d kissed but not even had sex, and yet… he was under her skin and there was nothing she could do about it.

“Do you want to go back to mine?” she blurted.

Tom placed his mug on the table and met her gaze.

“Don’t you want to eat here?”

Camilla took a deep breath. “I just thought you might want to be alone.”

“Oh…” He reached across the table and took her hands. “Camilla… I…”

She stood up and pulled him up quickly, before she could change her mind or allow doubt about how he felt for her to enter hers.

“I have some fabulous coffee there and a cold chicken and ham pie that Allie gave me yesterday. It’ll be delicious with potato salad.”

Tom grabbed his coat and helped Camilla into hers then they hurried from the pub and made their way to her cottage, giggling along the way like mischievous Christmas elves.

Camilla set the table in her small kitchen then went to the fridge and got a bottle of wine out. She held it up for a moment to read the label then paused. Tom had to drive to Brighton later, so giving him wine was not a good idea. Besides, she was so nervous that she realised she might neck a glass or two and that would be wrong. Because she wanted to be fully alert for whatever might happen between them.

She put the wine back in the fridge and got the pie out along with a tub of potato salad, also courtesy of Allie, and placed them on the table. Then she filled a jug with water and slices of lemon and put that on the table between the wine glasses.

“Tom?” she called him but he didn’t appear, so she went through to the lounge and found him standing in front of her bookshelves.

He smiled at her. “You really like to read, huh?”

She nodded. “Always have. I forget that the shelves are so full most of the time as I’m rushing around, but all except for those on the two shelves at the bottom – and they’re my to-be-read shelves – have been devoured over the years.”

The bookshelves took up the wall opposite the window and were groaning with the weight of all her books. For Camilla, the books were part of her life story. She’d read some of them more than once as she liked to revisit stories and characters she’d grown attached to on a precious reading, but she also had an addiction to buying more books, so she’d made room for the TBR books too.

“And is this you?” Tom held up a gold frame that held a photograph.

“Yes. Me and Dawnie in the local park. I was eight there and she was six.”

“Did your mum take the photo?”

She shook her head. “That would’ve been Dad. After he left, the photographs stopped for a while. Mum just didn’t have the heart for it.”

“My mother was the keen photographer in our house. She has boxes and boxes of photos of me. And what for?” He shook his head. “After she’s gone, who’s going to want them? I certainly won’t. They’re of my most embarrassing years.”

“Embarrassing?” Camilla eyed him. She couldn’t imagine him looking anything less than gorgeous.

“Oh yes. I wasn’t always so… dashing!” He laughed and it lit up his whole face.

“You weren’t?”

“Uh uh. First there are the faded baby pictures with me in all sorts of horrendous outfits, closely followed by me as a toddler with a bizarre bowl cut. My mother cut my hair herself for years and boy does it look like it! I have kind of a cowlick going on so a fringe never did sit right. When my adult teeth came in wonky, and it was not a pretty sight, I had a brace fitted. There are about two years of photos of me looking extremely awkward and uncomfortable as I try to smile with my mouth closed. Next up, is young adult me… very thin and with no fashion sense at all, and by that I mean I wore whatever was in fashion even if it didn’t suit me and then… I learnt to hide from the camera.”

“I would love to see those photos. I bet they’re not half as bad as you think.”

“Perhaps one day I’ll show them to you. After I’ve had a few drinks.”

“Deal!”

“But you’ve always been beautiful. Just look at you on here with that lovely dark hair and those sparkling emerald eyes. You’re stunning, Camilla.”

He placed the frame carefully back on the shelf and turned to her.

“Shall we eat?” she squeaked as his eyes found hers and she saw something in their depths that stirred her heart.

“Okay.” He nodded then followed her into the kitchen.

They ate slices of the savoury pie with creamy potato salad and washed it down with the lemon water. It was a simple meal but a good one, and Tom made Camilla laugh as he regaled her with stories of his childhood. She had some that she shared, from before Laurence left, but after she turned ten, there weren’t many good memories. Not until she went to university and escaped Heatherlea for a while. But she loved the village and had always known she would come back to live there. So what had she been keen to escape? Certainly not Dawnie, who she had always adored, so had she needed to escape her mother and the shadow of the past?

She took a sip of her water as a bitter taste filled her mouth. Camilla loved her mother, she really did, but Jackie had been difficult to live with. Difficult to be around every day. And Camilla had felt selfish but she had wanted to live, to stretch her wings for a while and going to university had allowed her to do that. She’d come back and settled into her life again, knowing that she’d be there for Jackie whenever she needed her, and in the time she’d been away, her mother had seemed to relax her hold on Camilla and to grow in terms of her own independence. So it had been good for both of them and for Dawnie too, especially when Dawn had gone to university and had her own taste of a life without the shadow of Laurence and what he’d left behind.

Camilla realised that she still blamed her father for leaving but she knew Jackie was to blame for some of what had happened too. And yet… it was all such a long time ago and life had moved on. People moved on and always would do. Camilla might be able to move on herself if something happened between her and Tom. She’d never thought she could care for a man and the one sitting opposite her right now was altering her long held belief by the minute.

“That was a delicious lunch, Camilla. I’ll wash the dishes, shall I?”

“No, no. Leave them.” Camilla stood and carried her plate and glass to the sink. You’ll be going soon and I’d prefer to spend the time enjoying your company than washing up. I’ll do them later. Let’s have a cup of tea and go and sit in the lounge.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. Do you want to light the fire?”

Tom nodded and went through to the lounge while Camille made tea. She put two mugs on a tray then filled them with tea from the pot once it was brewed and got a packet of biscuits from the cupboard. She arranged the biscuits on a plate, wishing all the time that Tom wasn’t going soon and that they could spend the evening together.

When she entered the lounge ten minutes later, the fire was already crackling in the grate, the Christmas tree lights were twinkling and Mariah Carey’s Christmas hits flowed from the stereo in the corner. Tom was on the sofa, his left arm stretched over the back of the seats and his eyes were closed as if he’d fallen asleep as soon as he sat down.

Camilla gently placed the tray on the coffee table and sat next to Tom. She turned in her seat so she could look at him then wriggled closer so that his arm was behind her. She breathed in his now familiar scent, enjoying how good he smelt and how comfortable he seemed in her home.

Suddenly, he grabbed her and pulled her closer, causing her to squeal.

“What’re you staring at Ms Dix?”

“You had food on your face.”

“What?” He raised his eyebrows. “That’s not true!”

He pulled her over his legs then started tickling her. She writhed as his fingers wriggled over her tummy and hips then under her arms, and tried to tell him to stop but she couldn’t because she was laughing so hard.

When he finally stopped and helped her to sit upright, she realised she was sitting on his lap with his arms encircling her. Her heart pounded as he moved his head closer to hers and when their lips met, she moaned softly with delight. They kissed for a while, gently tasting each other and Tom ran his hands over her face and shoulders then up and down her arms. Her whole body responded to him and she slid her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

“Camilla?” Tom pulled away slowly but didn’t release her.

“Yes?”

“We should stop.”

“Why?”

“This wouldn’t be right.”

She surfaced from the fog of need and desire as quickly as she would have if he’d thrown a bucket of iced water over her.

“What?”

“Not like this, not when I’m going away for a few days.”

“Oh.”

“Believe me, it’s not that I don’t want to… because I really, really do. I just don’t want to make love to you then have to leave you until next week. If I made love to you now, I would want to hold you all night.”

Camilla wriggled off his lap and swung her legs over the sofa so she was sitting next to him.

“Can you understand that?”

She met his warm chocolate-brown eyes and tried to read them. Was he being honest? Did he really desire her as much as she did him or was he letting her down gently? Had she read the signals wrong and thrown herself at him? Camilla never threw herself at anyone; the men who wanted her did all the chasing and she was the one to pull back or walk away. Always.

She reached for her mug of tea and cradled it between her hands.

“Yes, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I understand.”

Tom touched her cheek then rested his hand on the back of her neck. Emotion bubbled inside her. She wanted him to want her, to care for her and to need her but she was afraid to tell him. He would probably be scared away and she hated to show any weakness. She never wanted to be… like her mum had been.

“Maybe when I come back, we can pick up where we left off. I have some things to sort when I go back to Brighton but next week, I’d love to see you as soon as I’m home. Would that be okay with you?”

Camilla nodded. Although her body was aching with longing and her heart was pounding with insecurity, she knew deep down that Tom was being very sensible and very adult about all of this. It was how Camilla would normally be. Cool, calm and in control. But today she wasn’t and that was because of Tom.

A giggle burst from her chest.

“Camilla? What’s funny?” Tom frowned in confusion.

“Oh…” She shook her head. “It’s just me and my strange sense of humour.”

She raised her mug to hide her smile. She wanted to explain but surely Tom would think her mad because she was actually delighted that she was feeling everything so vividly around him, and she was in awe of her own emotions. Even though she was apprehensive, she was happy. Tom had awakened emotions in her that she didn’t know she had, let alone the scope of their intensity and depth.

So she would wait until he returned and look forward to seeing him again, to seeing if this could go somewhere. She hoped with all of her heart that it would.