Chapter Nine
Lena has her party, and I don’t go.
Instead, I go to the movies with Vince. My mom wasn’t pleased, since she wanted me to babysit so she could go to the boyfriend’s house, but she ended up having to take the kids with her since I told her I wouldn’t be home.
Which means we have my house to ourselves after the movie.
Vince waits on the porch next to me as I fish my key out, jingling it in front of him. “These are keys. This is how you’re supposed to enter a house.”
He smirks, stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I shiver as his lips brush the nape of my neck.
No longer a smartass, I get the door open as quickly as I can and stumble inside, turning in his arms so I can look at him. He backs me up against the wall, raising my hands over my head as his lips work their way down my neck again.
God, I love this.
“Door,” I murmur weakly, since it’s still hanging wide open.
Without stopping, he kicks his leg out behind him and it slams shut.
I smile, but then I’m lost to the sensations of his hands skimming their way down my body. “We should go to your bedroom,” he murmurs against me.
I’m still afraid we’re moving way too fast, and I don’t think going to the bedroom is a good way to slow down, but I don’t have sufficient reason to say so. We have been in that bedroom together before, even alone in the bed, and we haven’t actually had sex yet. Surely we can make it a third time.
We should probably discuss sex at some point—at least make sure he has a condom, in the event we decide not to stop one of these times.
Not right now though, I decide, as he hauls me toward my bedroom door.
“I want you, Mia,” he murmurs before leaning in to kiss me again.
Hearing him say that is like its own brand of euphoria. “I want you, too,” I tell him.
It’s true—I just don’t want to want him as much as I do, this quickly.
He steps toward me, backing me up until my legs hit the edge of my bed. Grasping my chin in one hand, he runs a thumb across my lower lip, holding my gaze as he does.
“Kiss me,” he demands.
I don’t hesitate. Lurching forward, I brush my lips against his, my hands finding their way around his back to pull him close. He takes over the kiss, hands roaming, one down to my hip, the other on my back. He catches the zipper on my dress and tugs it down until my back is mostly exposed and the fabric gapes open at my shoulders. His eyes rake over me, taking me in, and I revel in the warmth in his gaze. It’s not just lust; I see more there.
Releasing his hold on me, he takes the gaping edges of the fabric and slides it off my shoulders, down over my arms, and the dress falls to the floor. I try not to feel self-conscious that I’m standing there in nothing but a lacy black bra and a pair of (not matching) black panties, but there’s no time for that, because then he’s reaching around my back again, unhooking the clasp.
I let out a shaky breath as he tugs that down my arms, too. As he tugs it off, drops it to the ground, and just looks at me.
It’s not fair that he’s still fully dressed, so I grab at the hem of his T-shirt, tugging it upward. He takes the hint, reaching behind his neck and tugging it off. He drops it in the floor along with my clothes, but he’s not as self-conscious about it.
“Have you…had sex before?” I ask, feeling my face warm as I ask.
He nods.
I figured, but I still feel awkward hearing it. “I haven’t.”
A hint of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “I know.”
Instead of discussing it further, he kisses me. It feels different skin to skin, somehow even more intimate as my breasts press against his warm skin. My nerve endings come alive as his fingertips skim my bare sides, and the throbbing between my legs begins anew.
He pulls away a moment later, unfastening the button of his jeans. I swallow hard as he slips out of them, and I climb on the bed, sitting back on my heels, uncertain.
Then Vince is on the bed with me, and I’m relieved we were too busy kissing to turn the light on. He takes my hands and tugs me close, and then he kisses me again. He keeps holding one of my hands, but he drops the other and lets his hand drift down between my legs. My knees spread a little wider as he breaches my entrance, and I gasp against his mouth when he suddenly rubs my unprepared clit. Pleasure shoots through me, and it runs over me like a steady stream as he continues to play with me, never breaking our kiss.
It’s pandemonium in my body as I try to keep pace kissing him, but I keep breaking away, closing my eyes, riding the wave of pleasure moving through my body. Everything tightens and I can’t do it anymore; I can’t focus on kissing, and he doesn’t make me. He uses his free hand to gently push me back and I follow his lead, lying down and spreading my legs for him.
It hits hard and I cry out, my body arching up off the bed as ecstasy shoots through me.
I collapse against the bed, breathing heavy. Vince moves between my legs, tugging my panties all the way off. He’s still in his boxers, but the way his eyes are devouring me, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be.
“Do you have a condom?” I ask.
Relief shows on his face before he can wipe it away, and I can’t help but smile as he hops off the bed to retrieve it.
I allow myself a moment of anxiety while he prepares. I’m still not sure I’m ready, but I don’t know if I ever will be with him. There’s no point tormenting both of us for some arbitrary period of time, knowing he may never be able to offer me the security I would want to actually do this. If I’m going to do it anyway, and I’m pretty sure I am, it may as well be now.
Climbing back on the bed, he moves between my legs. His hands run over the outside of my thighs and he looks me in the eye. “You’re sure?”
I nod, as sure as I probably ever will be.
He leans down and kisses me again, his hand moving between my legs again. This time he isn’t there to toy with me for pleasure, but to prepare my body for invasion. The kisses help ease my nerves—just light, sweet kisses. Eventually they change, become more demanding. He draws me into the excitement as his tongue sweeps into my mouth, filling me with a hit of that yearning I felt the first time.
He withdraws his fingers and a moment later I feel the head of his dick push against me. I suck in a breath and let it out, too distracted to keep kissing. I grasp his shoulders as he comes down on top of me, easing inside of me. I shift, already uncomfortable, and he pauses.
“You okay?” he asks, low and husky.
“Mmhmm,” I murmur, but I’m tense as hell.
“Relax,” he whispers, not moving any deeper. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I try to relax, but it’s not an easy thing to do. A few steady breaths later and he pushes a little more of himself inside me. Experimentally, I wrap my legs around him, opening up my hips a little more. He slides an inch deeper and there’s pain, but I bury my face in his shoulder so he won’t see if he pulls back to look at me. “It’s okay,” I murmur, despite the noises I can’t stop making. Instead of pushing any harder, he pulls back. I think he’s going to stop, but then he pushes back in, that time pushing all the way inside of me.
“Ouch, goddamn it,” I say through clenched teeth, making truly ugly faces against his shoulder. I’m really glad he can’t see them.
“Are you okay?” he asks again.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I tell him, despite my body’s insistence otherwise.
He tries to go easy on me, moving slowly for a few minutes, but it’s still uncomfortably tight when he pushes inside me. Eventually my body adjusts to the invasion, and I realize it’s starting to feel better. Noticing, he picks up the pace, and then it starts to feel even better than before.
When he really gets going, my breath hitches. I try to find a perfect rhythm with him, but I’m a little off. It’s okay, it still feels great, and I can tell he agrees. I love the look on his face, the pleasure, knowing he’s getting it from me. From my body.
I feel that pressure starting to build, promising me a pleasurable payout, but I don’t quite make it, because he gets there first. A guttural groan escapes him and his body goes rigid. I try to clench him with my feminine muscles and he groans again before collapsing against me.
I wrap my arms around him and let him settle into the crook of my neck, sated. I don’t even mind the weight of his body crushing mine. I feel like I swallowed sunshine, all warm and toasty and… lovey. I know it’s just afterglow, but I don’t care; I’m going to enjoy it.
Eventually, he rolls off me, reaching for the box of tissues on my nightstand. Once he’s cleaned up, he rolls back over and pulls me into his arms. It feels like heaven.
Lying in his arms, watching the rise and fall of his chest, I’ve never felt so at peace.
“You okay?” he asks me.
Smiling up at him, I assure him, “I’m great.”
“Good,” he says, leaning in to give me a soft little kiss.
I wish we could stay like this forever. I know we can’t, but looking into his eyes, I vow to enjoy every second I can. Maybe it won’t last forever, maybe it won’t be normal, but whatever it is, it’ll be ours. Right now, that seems like enough.