Chapter Seventeen
Vince’s hand moves along the curve of my bare back, his touch light, almost absent.
I’m tummy down on the bed, my head resting on my arms on top of my soft, fluffy pillow. I like him touching me. I like sharing a bed.
“You’re gonna put me to sleep,” I tell him with a relaxed smile.
Cracking a smile, he says, “It’s after midnight; that’s probably a good thing.”
I sigh as his hand settles along the small of my back, and turn my face to look at him. It reminds me of the night he snuck in to hold me. It’s so strange, at our age, to know he won’t have to sneak anymore.
It’s been two weeks, and the transition hasn’t been as hard as I expected.
Mateo seems to have backed off Vince now, letting us get settled. I’m staying in Vince’s bedroom, not my own, like he told my mother, but that’s proving to be really nice. I’ve still only seen Isabella once in passing, when her actual nanny was hauling her out of the room. Vince got me a few more dresses so I have a variety to choose from for our nightly dinners, and the one on Sundays is actually kind of nice, not as obnoxious as it initially sounded.
It’s bizarre, but I really do feel like I’m becoming part of this family.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep,” I point out. In the time I’ve been here, I’ve noticed Vince generally rises even before I do, and I take a lot more time to get ready for school. I thought sharing a bathroom on the same schedule might prove difficult, but Vince is usually at the gym first thing—the in-house gym—and apparently he showers there.
It does explain the physique I so enjoy, I guess.
“Maybe. I like looking at you in my bed,” he tells me, eyes twinkling. “Seems like a better use of my time than sleeping.”
I grin, stretching my arms out. “Well, when you put it that way…”
His hand doesn’t leave my back but he scoots closer, bringing my body against his. “I know I shouldn’t, but I like having you here.”
At that, I roll my eyes. “Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean,” he says, easily enough. “I didn’t want it under these circumstances, but I rest easier with you next to me.”
Snuggling my face into his chest, I murmur, “Well, I’m happy to be of service.”
For a few minutes, he just holds me. I find myself getting a little tranquil, ready to drift off, when his quiet words hit me like a bucket of ice water. “I didn’t want to do it, you know.”
I’m quiet, not sure what to say, but I think I know what he’s talking about. I’m tempted to cut him off, to tell him we don’t have to talk about it, but it’s a selfish impulse. We’ve never actually addressed what happened the night of the fire, and to be honest, I never really wanted to. If he needs to talk, though, I don’t want to shut him down.
“Do what?” I finally ask, when he doesn’t go on.
“Your neighbors.”
Damn. I take a breath, searching my brain for what to say in this scenario. “I figured as much.”
“When you saw me outside that night, I didn’t even know what to feel. Part of me was almost relieved. If you would’ve told on me, if I would’ve been caught, at least it would’ve been over.”
I pull back, frowning. “Well, it wouldn’t have been over. You would’ve been in jail, but probably not forever. Even if you were, don’t they… I don’t know, again, my knowledge comes from movies, but you wouldn’t really be ‘out’ of your family, right?”
“Mateo wouldn’t have let me go to jail. He doesn’t trust me.”
I don’t get it at first. I think he’s saying Mateo has enough influence to have kept him out of jail, but then how would he be out of anything?
Then it hits me, and I can practically feel the color drain out of my face. “He… he would’ve killed you?”
“Would’ve had to. I know way too much.”
“But you wouldn’t have talked,” I say, though I don’t know why I believe that. I guess I figure if I wouldn’t talk, surely someone born to this family wouldn’t.
“He wouldn’t have believed that though. They would’ve thrown the book at me, to try to get me to talk about him. He knows that. Wouldn’t have taken the risk.”
“But you’re family,” I point out, baffled.
Meeting my gaze, Vince tells me, “We have to be loyal to him, Mia. He doesn’t have to be loyal to us.”
Scowling, I tell him, “That’s not right. It should go both ways.”
“As long as it doesn’t inconvenience him, it does. But he doesn’t let anyone get in his way.”
I lean back into him, hugging him tightly. I was too afraid to report them anyway, but it scares me to know that if I wouldn’t have been, I might’ve gotten Vince killed.
“I try not to think about it,” he goes on, my head tucked beneath his chin. “But it’s harder at night, when I’m alone. I don’t know how Adrian does this without feeling it.”
I’m still not altogether clear on Adrian’s role in this family, but he seems to be Mateo’s right hand man, and he was there with Vince that night, so he seems pivotal. I want to ask, but it doesn’t seem like the right time.
“Maybe he doesn’t,” I suggest. I don’t know how either, but I try to come up with something comforting. “It’s not supposed to be easy to take a life,” I add, though I’m not sure if that’s helpful. It sounds more like a lecture, now that I think about it. “But what was the alternative? If you wouldn’t have done it, I assume it still would’ve happened, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So… really, it wouldn’t have made a difference. I assume things would’ve been worse for you, there would’ve been some penalty for disobedience. You only did what you had to do.”
“But I still did it. Me, not someone else. It doesn’t help to know it would’ve happened anyway; I don’t care about those people, I just….”
I want to tell him I understand, but I don’t. I can’t fathom doing what he did, even if I didn’t have a choice.
“Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to, just to make it,” I tell him, even though it sounds generic to my ears. “It’s okay to feel badly about it—that’s healthy. But… it’s done now. Don’t let the guilt crush you. Learn something from it if you can, but let it go. You’re young, you still have your whole life ahead of you. If you start carrying that kind of baggage already, what hope do you have of a happy life?”
“I don’t think I have a chance at that regardless, Mia.”
“Well, I disagree. Maybe Mateo would be more understanding than you think. Maybe you could tell him you don’t want to do stuff like that anymore—or, if you don’t want to talk to him about it, just… make yourself more useful in a different division.”
“Division?” he asks, amusement finally breaking through his gloom.
“Yeah, department, whatever. I don’t know how this crap works, but another area. Whatever you want to call it. If Mateo’s interested in utility, be more useful doing something else. He won’t waste you on something literally anyone could do if it benefits him to have you doing something else.”
He doesn’t immediately respond, and I wonder if that wasn’t good advice in this scenario. In a company I think it would be, but I guess it could be different in a criminal empire. When he does speak, however, he says, “That’s a good point.”
“See,” I say, a little proud of myself. “Plus, you have this wonderful live-in girlfriend to come home to now. If that’s not a recipe for a happy life, I don’t know what is.”
He pulls back just enough to kiss me, and the look he gives me after looses a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. “You are pretty wonderful,” he agrees.
“You have your moments, too,” I tease.
“We should just stay in this bed and never leave,” he decides.
“Oh, that we could,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck as his body comes down on top of mine. He grabs a condom, moving easily between my legs, and I sigh happily as he pushes inside me for the second time tonight.
---
“Who are you marrying?”
Francesca looks up, startled, as I drop into the seat across from her. Seeing it’s just me, she gives a little laugh, flipping the next page of her Bridal Guide magazine. “No one. Ever. I’m going to die childless and alone.”
“Sounds like fun,” I say, spearing a strawberry and popping it into my mouth.
“All fun, all the time, that’s my life,” she agrees easily, tilting her head as she gazes down at a beautiful white ball gown.
After a few minutes, she flips her magazine closed and passes it across the table in my direction. “You can have it if you want.”
I blink at the magazine in surprise. “Me?”
“You’ll get married before I do,” she says wryly, standing and collecting her breakfast dishes.
“Does everyone in this house know I’m only 18?” I ask, partially in jest, but also legitimately baffled. “Who gets married this young? Also, while Vince and I are… you know, great, I’ve only been officially his girlfriend for two weeks. I think we all need to pump the brakes on our expectations of this relationship.”
With a look verging on haughty, Francesca shakes her head as she heads for the kitchen. “I tried to tell you.”
When she returns, Francesca pauses beside me at the table. “I know you don’t really need the money anymore, but if you wanted something to do, you could help me out at the bakery.”
There are plenty of leisurely activities to do at the house, but it might be nice to actually be around other people once in a while. Not to mention, Francesca and Vince seem to get along, and I should probably nurture relationships with the Morellis he actually likes.
“Sure, I’d like that,” I tell her, nodding my head.
Flashing me a smile, she says, “Great. You can have Vince drop you off after school,” and then she’s off, leaving me to finish my breakfast by myself.