He wasn’t feeling any more confident about a course of action by the time Jacob called and asked to see him again, but his lack of confidence hadn’t stopped him from readily agreeing to see his old friend. A brief conversation, where he tried to figure out where Jacob was, led to a part of town Azrael didn’t visit too often. It had become the center for the city’s college students, mainly the arty types. Azrael didn’t personally have an issue with that sort, even if he did find them naïve. He didn’t know if that was the crowd Jacob liked to hang around, or if it was simply a place for Jacob to name. His friend thankfully knew a place to meet, a 24-hour café that apparently served decent coffee.

Azrael was glad that not only did he live by himself, but the others checked up on him. If someone were to come by his penthouse and find him gone, they would most likely try again later. If it was important enough, that was why he had a phone. One advantage to being the odd man out in his Camarilla was that the others rarely bothered to keep tabs on him. It gave him the freedom to move around and do as he pleased that he hadn’t appreciated until Jacob stumbled back into his life.

As he made his way to the café, the city began to change around him. He’d known, from his human days, the college kids were beginning to make changes in that part of town, but he hadn’t expected it to be so drastic. The look Azrael considered to be a dry, desert city aesthetic began to gradually shift to a more modern sensibility, equipped with more color and decoration. The locals had been busy over the years, and they’d softened much of what had once been hard and enduring about the section of the city they’d carved out for themselves. Unlike even the nicest part of town, it lacked the aura of possible danger Azrael had come to expect existed in every corner of the city.

“Well, isn’t this nice?” Azrael said to himself as his eyes roved around.

The streets were all well-lit, either by street lights or by nearby buildings. Modest looking apartment buildings, duplexes, and small, probably privately-owned shops lined the streets. From the look of the shops, he would have been able to find just about anything he could think of, were it not almost midnight, that was. He saw signs saying locally sourced and handmade scattered amongst the other notices on the shops. Several sturdy desert plants, as well as some more foreign looking ones, had been planted all over the place. In coming together over the years, the students had turned a once waning section of town into a flourishing space, with plenty of places to discover and a constant aura of relaxation.

As he turned the corner, Azrael’s thoughts dwindled to nothing when he spotted Jacob standing at the far end of the street. The tall man stood beneath a bright stream of light coming from one of the nearby shops. His hair seemed to blaze in the light, while it cast faint shadows over his face. Azrael’s heart skipped a beat, excitement filling him as he wondered if he could sneak a picture of his friend.

Before he could reach for his phone, Jacob turned, his face lighting up with pleasure when he spotted Azrael. “Hey! Gabriel!”

The volume of his friend’s voice brought a smile to his face as surely as his old name did. Rather than yell down the street, bringing even more attention to them than his friend already had, he waved and quickened his pace. Jacob looked thrilled at the sight of him, all but bouncing with energy as Azrael made his way to him. He was dressed for the weather, wearing a thin tank-top that did little to hide the bulk of muscle he’d gained since they were kids. He was wearing bright orange shorts and a pair of flip-flops lined with the same vibrant color. He looked like he was preparing to go to the beach rather than to spend a few hours hanging out in a college town.

Jacob’s grin widened as he approached. “That same old grumpy expression.”

Azrael blinked, eyes widening in both question and surprise. “I’m not grumpy.”

“Yeah, but you always look like you’re in a bad mood. Don’t know if that’s just your face or you learned to put that on so people wouldn’t mess with you,” Jacob said.

Azrael wasn’t sure what to say to that, instead he looked at the café behind them. “I didn’t take you for a college kid.”

“Hey, I did my time in college. Got me a couple of degrees and everything. But yeah, this wasn’t really my sort of thing. But hey, their coffee and food is pretty damn good,” Jacob said with a grin.

Azrael shrugged. “I probably shouldn’t add caffeine to my diet. Never really did agree with me.”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, it always made you extra twitchy didn’t it? Oh, didn’t you almost throw up that one time?”

“I did throw up, all over the gutter. A passing cop thought I was drunk and wouldn’t believe us when we told him it was just because I let you talk me into drinking a big ass cup of coffee. Asshole had to do a field sobriety test before he’d believe me,” Azrael grumbled.

Jacob chuckled. “Ah well, so no coffee then. But how about a strudel or something? Their baked goods are amazing here, and they’re gluten free.”

Thinking of the few people he’d found on the way to meet Jacob, Azrael shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

Jacob shoved his hands in his pockets, looking uncomfortable. “Well damn, I invited you out here without remembering coffee is no bueno for you, and then you already went and ate. I’m pretty bad at this, huh?”

Azrael took pity on Jacob, walking up beside him and nudging him. “Don’t worry about it, why don’t we walk for a bit? It’s not like we’re in any real danger out here.”

“Not that you ever worried about that before,” Jacob said.

“No, but it would be nice to walk around here without worrying about watching my own ass for once,” Azrael said with a shrug.

Jacob began to walk, making sure Azrael was with him. “Never stopped looking over your shoulder, huh?”

“It’s been a part of my life for, well, my whole life actually. It’s kept me alive this long, and it helps with the work I do,” Azrael told him.

“You know, I probably should be bothered that you’re still doing that kind of shit. I thought about you a lot after I moved. I remember one of the things I always used to think was that I hoped you’d find your way out of that place, out of that life. I guess one out of two isn’t bad, huh?” Jacob asked.

“I never really had much choice.” Azrael shrugged.

Jacob mirrored the gesture. “It’s alright. You always were good at making things work. Even if it didn’t make things better, it kept you going. I always admired the fact that you were willing to take whatever was thrown at you and make it work for you. All I could do was dream about the day you and I might get out of there. Half of that came true, but I guess I shouldn’t have worried too much about you. You’ve always been a bit of a cat, speaking of which, uh, how many lives are you down to now?”

Azrael laughed, glancing furtively at Jacob’s handsome face. “Probably on my last one by now, I should watch my back.”

“Sorry I haven’t been around to do that for you,” Jacob said quietly.

“Don’t be, you couldn’t control what your parents did any more than I could control mine. At least yours cared enough to try to get you out, to try to make a better life for you. If anything, I’m happy they did it,” Azrael said.

It was only now, knowing what he knew about Jacob, that the sudden rush to move away made more sense to Azrael. He dimly remembered hearing Alexandre once tell him that werewolves were born as werewolves, and they didn’t have their first transformation until sometime during puberty. He didn’t know if that was the exact reason for the move, but the suddenness of it and the odd way Jacob had been acting before he’d moved made him think that was the reason. It was even more likely that Jacob was here in the city, working for the same group of werewolves his parents took him to for help.

“It is nice to know there was someone out there worried about me,” Azrael continued.

Jacob looked at him. “What, no friends?”

Azrael shrugged. “I guess, but nothing like the friendship you and I had.”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, that was something else, huh? Sometimes I wonder if it only seems that way in my memory because I was so alone. No one wanted anything to do with me back then, except to try to pick fights with me.”

“The boy with no friends and weird hair,” Azrael said with a smile.

Jacob chuckled. “My hair still catches people’s attention all the damn time. I’ve dyed it a few times, just to give myself a break. Never felt right though, so it didn’t really stick. I guess it’s better now than when I was a kid. Now, people notice it for mostly good reasons. Back then, though, they just wanted to beat my ass over it. Right up until a certain local troublemaker showed up.”

Azrael nodded, smiling fondly as he remembered that day all too clearly. Even at a young age, he wasn’t at home if he could help it. He took to exploring the neighborhood and seeing what kind of interesting things he could discover. Usually, it was nothing more than the same addicts, thugs, and miserable people going about their business as always. The day Jacob was remembering was the day Azrael had wandered into the alley where a group of local boys had been antagonizing Jacob. Azrael knew Jacob on sight, if only as the quiet boy with the crazy head of super red hair.

“God, those guys were such assholes,” Azrael said with extra emphasis.

Jacob nudged him with an elbow. “Is this the part where you tell me you only picked a fight with them that day because they pissed you off? Instead of the obvious reason, that you just didn’t like that they were picking on me.”

Azrael rolled his eyes. “You know, I’m not even going to try to tell you you’re wrong. I hated those guys so much back then, and now I can’t even remember their names. What really pissed me off was they were always targeting people who couldn’t or wouldn’t fight back. It was always the same five guys, and they always picked people they thought were easy targets. I didn’t know you for shit back then, but I knew you weren’t the kind of fucker to go picking fights with anyone, even when one was thrown in your lap. And there they were, taking turns beating on you like it was fun. Pissed me off.”

“You came out of nowhere, surprised the hell out of all of us. You didn’t say anything, didn’t yell, hardly made any noise. One minute I’ve got these guys kicking me, the next thing I know, they’re suddenly dealing with this short ball of anger that’s wailing on a couple of them,” Jacob remembered with a laugh.

“Got my ass kicked that day,” Azrael grumbled.

“Yeah, but was it worth it?” Jacob asked, looking at him knowingly.

Azrael sighed, drawing it out longer than necessary. “I suppose it was.”

“Guess you haven’t come to anyone else’s rescue, huh?” Jacob asked.

Azrael looked bewildered. “What makes you say that?”

“Because it seems to be the only way you can make any real friends,” Jacob answered with a laugh.

Azrael snorted. “Ass. No, I haven’t come to the rescue of some random person who then became my best friend. Apparently that only happens once in a lifetime. I’ve got some friends, just no one who’s as good with me as you were.”

Jacob’s smile turned mischievous. “And I take that to mean Mr. Independent also doesn’t have a man in his life either.”

Azrael came to a sudden stop, gaping at Jacob, “Excuse me?”

There were only two things he could remember ever having kept from Jacob. The first being that his own sexual interests were in other guys, and the second was his growing feelings toward Jacob as they grew up together. Having a reputation for being gay in their neighborhood would likely have been a death sentence, definitely if one of the rumors had gotten back to Azrael’s father. Azrael had never believed Jacob would end their friendship because of Azrael’s preference for men. He’d just never been able to admit to his friend aloud that he had no interest in girls, and by the time Jacob had moved, Azrael had had enough hidden liaisons with other boys to know for sure.

Jacob laughed again. “You really thought you hid it that well?”

Azrael sputtered for a moment before managing a response. “I, well yeah, I thought I did. It wasn’t like I did anything obvious in front of you.”

“No, you were pretty quiet about it. I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen you sneaking out of Ben’s house one night,” Jacob told him.

He remembered that one and flushed. “Shit, you saw that?”

“I didn’t see anything, just you sneaking out. Probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it either, if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew what kind of people Ben liked to spend his private time with.” Jacob chuckled.

“You based that off rumors about Ben?” Azrael asked in disbelief, knowing anyone who didn’t join up with the younger gang members was sneered at as being gay.

“Naw, Ben told me himself when I came across him and Keith doing stuff.” Jacob shrugged.

Azrael stared at him. “You knew the whole time, and you never bothered to say anything to me?”

Jacob shrugged. “It wasn’t like I could just call you out on it. We told each other just about everything, but I figured if you weren’t telling me, it was for a good reason. Figured you just didn’t trust me with it.”

Azrael looked away. “I didn’t mean it like I didn’t trust you. It was just hard to say out loud.”

“With the place we lived in, I can’t say I blame you,” Jacob said.

Azrael couldn’t help feeling a little ashamed of himself for never having told his friend the truth. What Jacob had said was true, they had shared just about everything. It had always bothered Azrael that he hadn’t divulged that very important secret to the boy he’d considered to be his best friend. It was even worse to find out Jacob had known for quite some time and hadn’t said anything because he’d wanted to respect Azrael’s privacy.

“I still feel like a shit head for not telling you,” Azrael admitted.

“We were young, and that’s when we’re supposed to be learning stuff about ourselves, right? Everyone at that age is still learning shit about themselves, some of it big, some of it little. You just had to get comfortable with who you were is all. We all gotta learn about ourselves and get over it, it’s just part of growing up. It didn’t hurt my feelings. I got it,” Jacob explained.

He couldn’t help the smile that came to his face as the light of the college town began to fade. They’d walked far enough that they’d come upon a bridge over a dry riverbed. The river typically rose up and flowed casually beneath the road with the first spring melt in the mountains. Being near the end of summer, the river had long since dried up, until after the next thaw. The landscape was still beautiful in its own way, the hard desert land glowing beneath the silvery light of the moon above. They were alone at that moment, and it tugged at old memories and feelings Azrael had thought long since dead.

He gazed fondly at Jacob. “You always knew how to make me feel better about my own stupid shit. It’s nice to see that hasn’t changed about you.”

Jacob cocked his head, looking almost nervous. “I always liked it better when you were happy, and especially when you were happy because you weren’t beating yourself up over something you shouldn’t have been. If it makes you feel any better, there was some shit about myself I didn’t figure out until I was in college.”

A little relieved at the focus shifting off him, Azrael perked up. “Oh yeah? What, did you discover a love for math or something?”

Jacob wrinkled his nose. “I don’t think I’m ever going to like math, no matter what happens.”

“Okay, well I’m bad at guessing games.” Azrael said with a shrug.

“It was after this girl I’d been seeing broke up with me in my first semester away at college. I was a little sad and lonely, and one of my dorm-mates stuck around with me to keep me company. We had some drinks, one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I slept with the guy and didn’t feel weird about it at all,” Jacob said simply.

Azrael stared at him. “Wait, is this where you tell me you figured out you were gay?”

Jacob laughed. “No, I mean, I discovered I liked guys too, at least sexually. I like both guys and girls naked, I just didn’t realize it until it happened. Haven’t really got the whole romantic thing down though. I tried dating a couple of guys, but it always felt off, uncomfortable. So I just stuck to dating women, and having some guy friends I could have fun with. It’s called being bisexual, Gabriel.”

Azrael slapped the big man’s shoulder. “I know what it’s called! I just never suspected it.”

“I think it’s because even I wasn’t aware of it being a thing until it was shoved in my face. It was a little strange at first, realizing I’d been missing out on half the fun up until that point, but it was better than nothing,” Jacob said.

“Well, I won’t hold it against you, especially the dating part. I never really did too good with it myself. Like you said, it’s uncomfortable. Don’t know how people do that shit. Open up, be affectionate, spend all their time around each other,” Azrael listed off with an air of distaste.

“I mean, you kinda did all that stuff in our friendship,” Jacob said.

Azrael blinked. “I—I didn’t really think about it like that.”

The nervous expression came back to Jacob’s face. “I think I did.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Azrael asked, shocked.

Jacob smiled tentatively. “I did a lot of thinking after my first time with a guy. Then even more when I tried dating that guy, and then another one. I was never too good at being with them, couldn’t open up or get comfortable with them. The only guy I was ever comfortable with was you. Looking back on it then, I must have always had that part of me that was attracted to guys. It’s like, do you remember how much we used to touch each other back then?”

Azrael did, and it had been the best and worst thing for his deepening crush. The more physical contact he had with Jacob, the worse his feelings had become. It had gotten to the point that Azrael had swung wildly from trying to find someone to take his growing need out on, and wanting to vow to never touch anyone but Jacob again. They’d always been careful that their constant affection wasn’t noticed, but they’d never been self-conscious about it with each other. Neither of them had been ashamed of the simplest act, like throwing an arm over the other’s shoulder, to something as intimate as laying their head in the other’s lap, or even curling against each other as they slept. It had been a source of endless torment for Azrael, and he could feel his throat tightening as he began to wonder just where Jacob was headed with the conversation.

“I think a lot of that wasn’t just the fact that we were really close friends. I mean, I knew back then you were pretty cute, and that you were probably going to grow up to be hot. I was right, by the way, but that was just like, casual thoughts. I always felt really good when I touched you back then, but it never really clicked that it was anything more than being really good friends with you. It wasn’t until years later that I looked back on it and realized that I think my feelings were a lot more than just friendship,” Jacob explained in a rush.

Azrael realized he was gaping, forcing his mouth shut so he could speak. “Are you saying you, what, had a crush on me?”

“Something like that, had one and didn’t even realize it. Isn’t that stupid?” Jacob asked with a nervous laugh.

“No more stupid than hiding the fact that you like dudes from your best friend,” Azrael heard himself say, as he wondered just what they missed out on.

“That’s right, you always used to tell me you didn’t think anything I did or said was stupid,” Jacob said.

Azrael nodded. “And I still believe that.”

Jacob drew close to Azrael, almost touching. “Then let me do one stupid, not stupid thing.”

Before Azrael could reply, Jacob had bent down and pressed their lips together. As the warmth of Jacob’s body pulsed against his own, Azrael realized he could smell Jacob even more than before. The wild smell of the woods filled his nostrils as he felt his mouth give way, slowly, to Jacob. Before he could allow his mouth to open fully, Jacob broke the kiss and backed away nervously. Azrael’s body buzzed with an energy he couldn’t name, jittering and jumping through his limbs as a wave of heat passed with it.

“Had to, sorry,” Jacob whispered, looking more vulnerable and handsome than Azrael had ever seen him.

Azrael’s fingers brushed his lips. “I…”

Jacob shook his head. “Don’t—just—I’ll see you later? Better yet, if you don’t feel like punching my lights out for that, call me, okay?”

His friend’s words began to penetrate the fog in Azrael’s mind only when he realized Jacob was already near the end of the bridge. Azrael shook himself, eager to call Jacob back before he got too far away. His panicked cry died before he could release it, when he spotted a familiar figure on the other side of the bridge, hiding in the shadows. The man didn’t have to lean into the light so he could see his face clearly, Azrael knew that style of dress and demeanor anywhere.

It was Alexandre.