After making sure Alexandre was gone, Azrael took a while to calm himself down. He didn’t need to be told how dangerously close he’d come to disaster, or that he was still dangling over that precipice. He’d maneuvered himself adeptly in the conversation with his sire, but all he’d done was buy himself some time before the inevitable suspicion came down on him. He was proud he’d managed to explain himself so well, and that he’d also managed to gain a measure of privacy from prying eyes. It wasn’t the solution he needed, but at least he knew he was more secure now. The latest change would give him the time and space he needed to find a way to save Jacob.

Once he’d calmed himself, he’d shot his friend a few quick text messages. He hadn’t wanted to talk about what had happened between them in too much detail, preferring to do that in person. Jacob’s worry and hesitance was obvious in his texts, but Azrael made sure to soothe his friend’s nerves. After he was sure Jacob wasn’t going to worry himself into the ground, he’d made plans to meet him the next night. He desperately needed to see his friend again, but the night was growing late and he wanted as much time as possible between the two of them.

When he awoke the next night, it was to thoughts of Jacob and their brief kiss on the bridge. For the first time since becoming a vampire, Azrael wished that their kind dreamed. The time vampires slept during daylight hours mimicked death more closely than anything restful. Vampires were notoriously difficult to wake up, except when there was an immediate threat to their existence. It made them vulnerable, which was precisely why the places where they slept were so heavily fortified. The room Azrael used for sleeping was completely sealed against sunlight and intrusion, and was heavily resistant to fire. The alterations to the room that made it so safe had probably cost as much as the penthouse itself.

His normal, leisurely routine was skipped as he dressed hurriedly and headed out the door. The time he’d arranged with Jacob was earlier than before and he wanted to make sure he’d fed his bloodlust before meeting him. There hadn’t been a moment where he’d craved his friend’s blood, but he still didn’t want to risk his thirst interrupting their shared time in the slightest. It wouldn’t matter, since werewolf blood was apparently fatal to vampires, but Azrael didn’t want the distraction.

By the time he arrived at the small park he’d chosen for their meeting, Azrael was well-fed and plenty nervous. Any place in the city that broke away from the normal browns and reds of the desert stood out, and the small park was no different. It was one of very few parks in the city that was meticulously maintained. Careful maintenance made sure the park was vibrant with color and life, with soft green grass that was comfortable to walk through or lay down in. In Azrael’s mind it had always been a strange place to be, but he’d figured Jacob would find it comforting to be surrounded by vibrant nature.

He spotted his friend sitting on a bench under one of the many lights illuminating the park. In an effort to make the parks as welcoming as possible, the city had made sure to install plenty of lighting. Any foreboding shadows the park might have had were cast away by the bright lights. The park was in the heart of the city, so it wasn’t as if the unnatural lighting in the park took away from the more natural lighting of the stars and moon overhead.

Jacob seemed to sense his approach, twisting toward him on the bench. His face lit up with excitement, and then a shadow of nerves took its place. Jacob stood up, a little clumsy in his haste, as he tried to make himself seem presentable. Azrael smiled, wondering how Jacob, who was usually so calm and even, had ended up being the nervous one. It was such a reversal of roles that Azrael couldn’t help but grin.

“Don’t look so surprised to see me,” Azrael teased him as he approached.

Jacob chuckled nervously. “I guess I wasn’t sure if you would show up or not.”

“I was the one who told you to meet me here,” Azrael said.

Jacob looked pained, speaking fast. “I know, but I didn’t know if you meant it or not. You haven’t seen me for years, and then I show up and on our second meeting, I dump all that in your lap. I just want you to know, I didn’t even mean to get into all of that. I’d been thinking about it a lot before I told you to meet me, but I wasn’t planning anything. It was just, you were standing there, looking more handsome than I’ve ever seen you look, smiling and adorable as we talked. It kind of just fell out, and my feelings got the better of me. That’s not an excuse for what I did, there was no good reason for me to jump you like that. I’m really sorry.”

Azrael listened to his rambling with widening eyes, slowly nodding his head as he tried to keep up with the words that were beginning to run into one another. He laughed as he realized Jacob was going to keep going with his unending, and unnecessary in Azrael’s mind, apology. Before the look of hurt could settle into Jacob’s face, Azrael closed the distance between them. He reached up so he could grab hold of Jacob’s head and pulled him down.

Jacob’s surprise made him pliant and he followed through on Azrael’s insistent motion. Their lips pressed together once more, and Azrael smiled as he felt sudden excitement run through Jacob’s large frame. But his friend’s surprise didn’t last long, and his strong hand gripped onto Azrael’s hip and pulled him in close. The kiss wasn’t nearly as brief as their first, but it still had the effect of sending what felt like uncontrollable jolts of electricity through Azrael. The thrill of Jacob’s strong body pressing against his, coupled with the soft exploration of his lips, was a heady rush.

After a few moments, he broke the kiss, pulling away from Jacob slowly. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you babble like that before.”

Jacob looked a little dazed. “I’ve also never just attacked my best friend with a kiss before.”

“You shouldn’t have run away so fast last night. You didn’t even give me a chance to get over the surprise to tell you that it wasn’t a bad surprise,” Azrael chuckled, running a hand over Jacob’s cheek.

Jacob blushed. “Like I said, it was just something I did in the spur of the moment. When I realized what I’d done, I panicked and tried to run away.”

“Never known you to run away from anything either,” Azrael said with a smile.

“Again, never surprise kissed my best friend before,” Jacob murmured.

Azrael laughed softly. “And I don’t think I’ve ever seen you shy before either. All these new sides to you that I’m seeing. I’d have been worse off than ever if I’d seen this side of you when we were younger.”

Jacob cocked his head. “What, you’d have developed a little crush too?”

“I guess I should be relieved that you only figured out one of my two secrets. Jacob, I’ve had a thing for you for ages. You were the first guy I ever remember being attracted to. It wasn’t until the first time I fooled around with another guy that I realized it wasn’t just sexual with you. In my whole life, I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you back then. You kissing me was a shock, because it was like everything I ever wanted when we were younger had come to life right in front of me. Every fantasy, every idle thought, happened in that one moment and I didn’t know how to react,” Azrael admitted.

Jacob stared down at him. “You’re telling me you had a crush on me?”

Azrael snorted. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. It broke my heart when you moved away, not just because I lost the only real friend I would ever have, but because of how I felt about you. That was, well, it was one of the reasons I never told you I was into guys. I never wanted you to figure out how I felt about you. Your friendship was more important than some annoying crush. Well, it was annoying to me anyway.”

“You’re telling me you had feelings for me back then, and my dumbass didn’t even know it?” Jacob asked in disbelief.

“I wouldn’t call it dumbass. I mean, you didn’t even know you were into guys too, back then, so I can’t really blame you for not realizing your best friend had a thing for you,” Azrael said.

Jacob shook his head. “I really can be the densest person on the planet.”

“Weren’t you the one who told me we all have to come to our own shit in our own time?” Azrael asked.

“Yeah, but I meant that about you. That stops making sense to me when I realize what the hell I missed out on by not realizing my own shit when we were younger,” Jacob grumbled.

Azrael sighed. “It wouldn’t have made a difference, except maybe to make everything harder on us. Sure, we could have realized how we felt back then, and maybe done something but I don’t think that would have been a good thing. We would have had to do everything in secret, and you would still have moved anyway. It would have hurt us more than it already did.”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Azrael smiled. “So, is this the part where you tell me you want me just for my body?”

Jacob laughed. “Well, from what I’ve seen, you do have a nice body, but weren’t you listening to me last night? You’re the only guy I’ve ever had a real connection with. Sure, I got along with the other guys I’ve been with in the past, but it was never anything I’d call a connection. It’s not hard for me to be attracted to a guy, or to want to sleep with him. You’re the only guy in my life that I’ve ever wanted something more than that with.”

“I always wanted to hear you say that and it’s so weird hearing it now. Seeing you in that bar was such a surprise and it made me think about the past a lot. I thought I’d moved on from everything back then, you know? I thought about us every now and again, but it wasn’t with the same ache as before, or how much I missed it. So I thought I was over it and had moved on. Then you came stumbling back into my life out of the blue and suddenly that shit was on my brain again. I kept wondering if I wasn’t really over it after all, and then, before I could figure it out, you answered my question by kissing me,” Azrael said, his voice rising in sudden excitement.

“Is this your way of saying you still like me like that?” Jacob asked with a smile.

Azrael brushed his lips against Jacob’s. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

Jacob’s face fell for the briefest moment, but Azrael had caught the expression of worry and indecision. He might not know everything there was to know about Jacob after having been away from one another for so long, but he could take a guess. Jacob had no idea what Azrael was, and thought of him as a normal human. His friend’s look of worry was probably due to the fact that Jacob was here on a rather dangerous task of spying on the city’s vampire population. If Jacob was as noble as Azrael remembered, there were probably a lot of concerns going through his friend’s mind about what he could potentially be exposing Azrael to.

The thought brought on a wave of guilt. Here Azrael was, talking about the two of them having feelings, with the hope that more would come of it than just a few kisses. All the while, he was concealing his own secret from Jacob. What made it worse was that he already knew Jacob’s secret, but couldn’t bring himself to expose his own. They were two people who should have been on opposite sides of this ongoing war between their species. Azrael knew just how dangerous their situation was, far more than Jacob suspected. He couldn’t bring himself to expose it, to ruin what they were building between them.

He felt selfish for not wanting to end this moment of happiness. There had been so little that had been good in his life, but Jacob was one of those things. Azrael knew anything between them was doomed to failure, and his choice to continue hiding his vampire status would inevitably make the reveal all the worse. All he wanted was some time, no matter how short, for the two of them to be happy together. It was probably the worst decision he’d ever made, but his heart cried out for just this one moment of respite from the struggle of his life. It might be the death of him, but he promised it would never be the death of Jacob.

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Azrael finally asked, trying to shake off his dark thoughts.

“It could, but I mean, I’m not really staying in the city for long. I’m only here for however long it takes to do what I came to do and then I’ll be going back home,” Jacob told him carefully.

Azrael shrugged. “So we’ll just do what we want and not worry about the future. We used to live our lives without worrying too much when we were kids. You should have a lot of practice with it.”

Jacob’s fingers tightened against Azrael’s hips. “I’m a bit of a night owl nowadays.”

Azrael snorted. “In case you haven’t noticed, I tend to keep pretty late hours too. I guess both of our jobs keep us up at night. Got any other excuses to not see where this leads us?”

“And where do you think it will lead us?” Jacob asked quietly.

“You were the only great thing I’ve ever had in my life, so I’m thinking that keeping you in my life will bring me a lot more great things for once,” Azrael told him.

It wasn’t a total lie, since he’d always considered his friendship with Jacob to be the best thing that had ever happened to him. The second half was merely wishful thinking on his part. He wished his life had never brought him down the path where he’d find himself standing on the opposite side of a war he’d never agreed to fight. He even wished Jacob had come to the city long before that fateful night when Alexandre had brought Azrael into the blood, locking him into eternity as a bloodsucking predator. Azrael had always been a little unsure about how he felt about being a vampire, but in that moment, his hope made him hate what he was.

Jacob considered his words for a moment before nodding. “I guess I can go with that. I meant what I said about you being the only guy I’ve ever had a connection with. And really? I’ve never had a connection with a woman like I had with you either. It would be a little stupid to not at least see where things go, wouldn’t it?”

Shoving his dark thoughts away, Azrael smiled. “I think we both deserve a chance to see where all of this is heading.”

Jacob nodded, then smiled impishly. “Does this mean I can tell you that you have a great ass? Because you really have a great ass.”

“I think that’s supposed to be a third date kind of comment,” Azrael said, with a surprised but pleased laugh.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t change the fact that you really do have a great ass,” Jacob continued stubbornly.

Azrael smirked playfully at him. “I take that to mean you were staring at my ass before. And having some not-so-gentlemanly thoughts about it.”

“Something like that,” Jacob admitted, bolder than he’d been before.

Azrael slid his hand down so he could lace his fingers together with Jacob’s. “Well, if you keep up with that and those kisses of yours, you might just find out whether it’s as good as it looks.”

Without hesitation, Jacob kissed him before sidling up beside him so they could walk hand in hand. “Now that I can promise. By the way, I’m going to consider this a first date.”

Azrael chuckled as they began to walk, thinking that as far as first dates went, theirs was already a winner in his book.