Chapter Fourteen

Galen

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I listened as Blaze’s breathing evened out and his heartbeat slowed slightly.

Tonight had opened my eyes to something I hadn’t even realized was true until I’d met him. I wasn’t straight and I wasn’t bi.

I was gay.

It was true I’d never faked sex with women, but I hadn’t felt connected to them at all. I found them attractive but they didn’t stir up any lust in me. I could get hard and fuck them, but it was all very mechanical, and the only reason I’d started messing around with girls in the first place was because it’s what I’d assumed I was supposed to do.

I might have never had feelings for another man, but I’d found them attractive in the past. It was kind of like with women, I noticed their features and I enjoyed their beauty, but it didn’t stir anything in me. There had been a time when I’d wondered if I was asexual, but I enjoyed orgasms and fucking, just never felt anything for the person I was with.

I’d never messed around with a man before because I hadn’t found one I wanted to spend time with, and that could be tied back to my penchant for being a loner. I’d never looked for a partner, male or female, and I’d never had many friends. I’d spent so long seeing people as an obstacle, that being open to being with someone hadn’t been a thought. Then Blaze had come along and flipped everything upside down.

Now I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life. I needed him in a way that was almost frightening, but it comforted me at the same time. I felt whole with him. He made me laugh and think about things in a different way. Here was this gorgeous, caring and compassionate man who’d known nothing except hatred and violence for the first twenty-one years of his life. If he could find a reason to smile and make his own family, that made my struggles seem minor and put things in perspective

I felt him shift slightly so his lips were resting against my forehead and he gave me a sleepy kiss.

Did I want to risk losing this, him, because I was too fucking stubborn to give in to every instinct that told me Blaze was my future? I wasn’t sure what he wanted, but as his lips grazed my forehead again, I knew what I needed.

It was time to say fuck you to my doubts and throw myself into this relationship. I’d never be happy with only having a piece of him. If being honest scared him away then so be it. It had to be all or nothing with Blaze, and I was going all in.

* * * * *

I have no idea when I fell asleep, but for the first time in months, I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off.

“Too early,” Blaze grumbled as I reached over him to turn it off.

“I can tell you work nights if you think six a.m. is early.” I chuckled and then full out laughed as he rolled over so he was laying on top of me.

“Six a.m. is fucking early. It doesn’t matter what shift you work.”

“If you say so, sleepy head.”

“I say so.”

“I need to take a shower before I get ready. Want to join me?” I asked suggestively, rubbing my morning erection against his hip.

“Hell yeah.” He nodded and bent to kiss me before rolling over. “Even if it is fucking early.”

We made our way into the bathroom and Blaze leaned against the counter as he watched me turn on the shower and set the temperature.

“You know, it’s very environmentally conscious of us to do this.”

“Do what?” I stood and drank in the sight of him. He was fucking gorgeous, and as hard as I was.

“Take showers together. We’re practically eco warriors.”

I laughed and pulled him away from the counter and into my arms. “Are we now?”

“We are.” He nodded solemnly, wrapping his arms around my waist. “We should get an award of some kind.”

“Here I thought you just liked fucking me against the tiles.” I sighed dramatically. “And now I find out you’ve been doing it for some sort of award?”

“Sorry, I like awards.” He winked cheekily and gave me a quick kiss.

“How about rewards?”

“Big fan of those.”

“How about this for a reward; if you can fuck me until I come, but you don’t, I’ll suck you off.”

Blaze’s eyes darkened and his cock nudged my stomach. “Challenge accepted.”

He gave me one last searing kiss before grabbing my hand and dragging me into the shower.

I’d like to say that I was so good he finished before me, but the man had stamina. He made me come so hard I’d seen those damn stars again, and then he’d held me as I’d come down from my orgasm. His reward was actually a dual one, because last night I’d discovered that I loved sucking cock. I’d been a little disappointed that I hadn’t gotten to taste him last night, but I got my wish in the shower, and it was incredible.

After we finally washed up, we went to my room to change. Watching Blaze put on his clothes was somehow just as sexy as seeing him undress, and I couldn’t help staring at him as he buttoned up his shirt.

“Your phone is blinking.”

“What?” I looked up from his chest to find Blaze smirking at me.

“Your phone. The notification light is blinking.”

I glanced over at the night table and then went to check my messages.

“Hey, do you want to stay here today?” I asked, looking up at him.

“In your apartment?”

“Yeah. You don’t work today, right?”

“No, not today.”

“I just found out my court case has been shifted to next week. All I really have to do today is go in and work on a few files, then I have a meeting at eleven. I’ll cut out at lunch.”

“Whoa, really? Mr. Straitlaced Lawyer is going to cut out of work early to hang out with me? I’m flattered.”

“Is that a yes or are you going to keep making fun of me?” I asked teasingly.

“Not making fun of you.” He closed the distance between us and swept me into his arms. “Just playing.”

“I know. I like it.” I tugged him toward me for another kiss, and groaned when he pulled away.

“I’m going to wrinkle your fancy ass suit if I don’t let you go.”

“And I’m going to beg you to rip it off me if I don’t let you go, so I should probably do that before I completely forget that I have a job and stay here all day with you.”

“Mmmm, now that sounds awesome.”

I dropped my arms and stepped back. Blaze was addictive, that was for damn sure. I could still feel our last two sessions every time I shifted or bent over, and my body was jonesing for another go.

“Are you sure you don’t mind if I stay?”

“Not at all. Make yourself at home. There’s food and drinks in the fridge. I have pretty much every station you could ever want, and Netflix.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m going to crawl back into bed for a few hours.”

I laughed and watched him strip off his clothes. Yup, watching him take them off was definitely sexier.

When he was snuggled into the bed and under the covers I bent to give him a kiss. “I’ll see you around lunch.”

“Have a good day, or half day.”

Blaze lifted up to give me another kiss and smiled sweetly.

Something about seeing him in my bed alone, thinking about him hanging out at my place while I was at work felt natural. And it felt right.

As I left the apartment I made sure to set up the coffee pot so all Blaze would have to do was press the start button. It was a pretty complicated system and it had taken me a few weeks to fully get the hang of it.

As I was heading out the door I sent him a quick text about the coffee machine, and then added a heart emoji before I could think about it. Using an emoji made me feel like a twelve-year-old girl, but fuck it. If there was one person in the world I could completely be myself around, it was Blaze.

* * * * *

When I came home it was just before one in the afternoon, and I was almost giddy. I’d spent the morning doing everything I needed, and the second my meeting had been over I’d been out the door with no more than a quick explanation to my secretary.

The entire drive home I’d been excited to see Blaze, even though I’d seen him less than six hours ago.

I’d expected to see him on the couch watching TV, but as I walked in I could hear music in my kitchen.

Blaze was standing at the gas stove with a pot and a pan going, and he was nodding along with the music on the radio. I didn’t know the song, but it was heavy and loud.

After a moment of watching him I reached out and turned down the radio so I could get his attention.

“Oh, hey. I kind of got hungry, is that okay?” he asked, looking over his shoulder as he did.

“Of course. Is there enough for two, by any chance?” I asked as I came up behind him and kissed where his shoulder met his neck.

“There is.” He grinned and looked over at me so he could kiss my cheek.

“What are we having?” I asked as I looked at the pan and the pot.

“Tomato soup and grilled cheese,” he answered, then gave me a look when I chuckled. “What? You don’t think I can cook because I eat off a hotplate and a microwave?”

“You think grilled cheese and condensed soup is cooking?” I teased wrapping my arms around his waist.

“That’s it. No lunch for you,” he said sternly as he flipped the two sandwiches he was making, and it was then I saw he’d already made two and they were sitting on a plate beside the stove.

“Too late. You offered. No pulling out now.”

“That’s what she said, or he in our case.” He glanced back and waggled his eyebrows at me.

“Pervert.”

“Sometimes. Now go be useful and get bowls and cutlery.”

Moving around the kitchen, joking as he cooked was very domestic, but at the same time it was amazing. I’d never wanted to do this kind of thing with someone, and now I was realizing just how fun it could be to share all the parts of your life with someone.

After I got what we needed, Blaze filled our plates and bowls and we took our food to the table. When I saw him dunk his sandwich half in his soup, I paused.

“What? You’ve never done it?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“Trust me, it’s a whole new experience. Try it.”

After a moment I picked up half of my sandwich and dunked it in the soup. I had to be careful not to spill since I’d only taken my jacket off, and when I took a bite I looked up in surprise.

“Good, isn’t it?” he asked with a knowing grin.

“It is.”

“I can’t believe you never tried it.”

“My parents are big on food groups. I didn’t have my first grilled cheese until I was at a friend’s house in the first grade.”

“So I’m guessing you skipped most of the kiddie favorites. Spaghetti with hot dogs?”

“I don’t even think hot dogs were allowed in the house.”

“Chicken fingers and fries?”

“Chicken breast and baked potato.”

“That’s not fun. Hmmmm, mac and cheese out of a box?”

“From scratch cheese sauce and fresh pasta with veggies cut up in it.”

“I almost feel sorry for you. I’m guessing it’s a no on peanut butter and jam?”

“Not until I figured out what it was and could make it myself when no one was around. Peanut butter and banana slices was allowed. Made with sugar free all natural peanut butter, of course.”

“Your family is weird.”

“They are.” I nodded and took another bite of soup drenched grilled cheese. “I used to love going to my friends’ houses for dinner.”

“I imagine.” He bit off a large chunk of his sandwich and looked at me thoughtfully.

“What?”

“Last night, when I was talking about my dad’s sermons, you said ‘us gays’.”

“I did.”

“Was that a slip?”

“No. It’s what I am. I guess I’m a bit of a late bloomer to only figure it out now. I know I’m gay, I just didn’t really know for sure before...if that makes sense.”

“I get it. What will your parents say if you tell them, not that you’re going to, just—”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine. They might be all about outward appearances, but they’re pretty open-minded about things.”

“That’s got to be a relief.”

“It is.” I watched him carefully as he ate some of his soup.

“So, what did you want to do today? I’m assuming you didn’t let me chill here just so you could send me home when you were done.”

“I definitely don’t want you to go home.” I grinned. “Want to watch a movie?”

“On the couch?”

“Or in bed.” I grinned as he licked his bottom lip and he looked me up and down.

“I like the sound of the bedroom.”

“Me too.”

“I’m half-tempted to toss this and drag you in there, but I’m too hungry to stop.”

I laughed and stirred my soup. “Then eat up, and I’ll drag your ass into my room.”

“With pleasure.”

* * * * *

Blaze and I spent the day, and most of the night, watching movies as we lay in bed. The only time we moved was when I ordered Chinese food and we ate on the floor because Blaze wasn’t all that skilled with chopsticks and he didn’t want to get my bed all dirty.

I’d like to say we paid attention to the movies, but I’m pretty sure I missed most of all of them. We didn’t just mess around or fuck, even though we did both as often as our bodies would allow. We also just cuddled and talked about random stuff.

Blaze and I had different viewpoints on a lot of things, and since our life experiences had been so different we saw things differently. It was refreshing to talk with someone who had his own opinions, and while he respected mine, he wasn’t afraid to debate with me.

I’d told him more about my family and how it had been growing up. I told him about the summers my parents would ship me off to camp while my brother and sisters got to stay home, and about the constant belittling I’d lived with because blood made me sick and I wasn’t enough like my dad.

As stupid as it was, I still felt like that little kid who’d done everything he could to make his parents love him. I still craved validation and acceptance from them, even though I’d never really gotten it. I didn’t know why I couldn’t just accept that I wasn’t ever going to be enough, even though I knew it was true. Instead I would keep hoping for my family to finally see me for who I was and treat me like I was one of them.

It had been hard, opening up about all the verbal and physical abuse my brother had laid on me growing up. Talking about how I still felt like a failure and an outcast in my own family, even though my parents always tried to present the image that we were one big happy family.

Blaze had told me about his friends and how they’d become a family in the time they’d been working at the bar. He hadn’t told me much about his life before his family kicked him out, or his time on the streets, but I didn’t mind. He’d already told me so much about his past, I was more interested in his present and future.

We’d also talked about our dreams and what we wanted in the future. Blaze wanted to go back to school and get his degree in either social work or counselling so he could help kids who were in the same position he’d been in. He was worried about college since he didn’t have much money saved, and he didn’t think he was smart enough to pass the programs.

I’d told him about how I was thinking of switching into family law. My firm dealt with a lot of corporate clients and high profile divorce cases, but I was looking more into advocacy. I might have gone into law because it had been chosen for me, but now that I was practicing I was realizing that there was a lot of good I could do with my education. I’d grown up with money and had a lot of money saved, despite my lavish lifestyle, and the mundane and unfulfilling work wasn’t worth the trade-off anymore. I’d rather be comfortable and feel like I was doing something useful than be wealthy and serve only myself and others like me.

I’d never told anyone about that, and Blaze had been incredibly understanding and supportive. It felt really good to share with someone, and as we lay together after turning off the TV and the lights, I realized that I was in love with him.

I’d thought I was falling for him, but as my eyes had fluttered closed and I’d felt sleep overtaking me hours before usual, I’d known for sure that I was completely in love with Blaze.

* * * * *

The next morning I was late for work.

After Blaze and I had woken up he hadn’t been able to wait until we got into the shower before he’d fucked me. Then, when we’d been in the shower I’d been so overcome with need for him I’d dropped to my knees and sucked him until he’d bent me over and taken me right on the floor of my shower.

By the time we were dressed and in the car so I could take Blaze home before heading to work, I’d known I’d be late, but didn’t really care. I’d make up the time after hours. Blaze was working tonight so there was no reason for me to rush home.