TERMS OF SERVICE
Ownership: Hardcover Paper Book
State of Vermaine
By reading these words, you are agreeing to Terms of Service they define, where “Service” applies to this book, its pages, sentences, words and ideas herein contained, and/or the comprehension of said words and ideas (hereafter forth referred to as “Content”). Please read these Terms carefully before turning the page, as such an action will be recorded and is a licit and irrevocable AGREEMENT to terms hereto laid out where applicable by Law under the Copyright Expansion and Permanence Act, under the Rog Provisions, and under the Blaft Acts, where such Laws apply now or in the future, and in perpetuity, wherever such an application may be made or understood, except in cases where these Terms are found nonbinding as parody, satire or commentary.
YOU ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE TO READ THIS BOOK AT YOUR SOLE RISK
This book is hereby provided to the Owner (hereafter referred to as “the Owner”) in exchange for cover price, best price allowed by market or in exchange for reasonable value where such exchanges are allowed. Ownership conveyed to the Owner extends only to the book, its pages and the ink printed thereon, in tangible form only, and confers upon the owner responsibility for the book, its paper and the words printed on that paper. The Owner assumes any and all Legal obligation for this physical copy of the book and indemnifies the author and publisher against liability, including but not limited to the following:
i) Paper cuts
ii) Eyestrain or eye fatigue
iii) Cases where the physical existence of paper, printing or binding might present physical, emotional, or intellectual harm or distress
iv) Cases where the textual content might present physical, emotional or intellectual harm or distress
v) Confusion, disorientation or irritation
vi) Intestinal distress
vii) Death
Pointing to or gesturing at words within this text for the purpose of avoiding Transaction fees is expressly forbidden. Any rearrangement of words from the text into different phrases and sentences than those presented here or removal for the purpose of expurgation of the text is likewise disallowed both by Law and by these Terms.
You agree not to modify, rent, loan, sell or distribute the Content in any manner, and you shall not exploit the Services in any manner not expressly authorized. This Content may not be read for the purposes of entertainment or education by parties other than the Owner. Portions of the Content may be read by persons other than the Owner provided that:
i) The Owner is present at a distance sufficient to visibly monitor use of this book
ii) The reader is a person known to the Owner by their full legal name
iii) Excerpts read are not longer than eight paragraphs or 2,048 words, whichever is shorter (excluding text required by provision vi in this list)
iv) Excerpts do not contain details of sufficient revelation that might prevent the reader from the desire to purchase their own book (See “Spoiler-Free I.P. Preservation Act of 2047”)
v) The reader is Registered® and able to engage in legal Transactions, i.e. they are of legal age and possess a working and powered Cuff
vi) The reader first reads and agrees to these terms
For avoidance of doubt: purchase of this book does not confer ownership of this book’s individual words, sentences and/or any Copyrighted, Trademarked, Registered or Restricted phrases, or conglomeration of words reproduced herein. Each individual word, sentence and any and all Copyrighted, Trademarked, Registered or Restricted phrases, or conglomeration of words remain the Intellectual Property of their respective owners. The author makes no claims of ownership over said words, phrases or other conglomerations of text, except where such words are uniquely aggregated into new Copyrightable, Trademarkable or Restrictable arrangements, including aggregations of words within the Terms of Service, Chapter Text and Acknowledgments. Such arrangements are recognized as the unique property of the author and may only be spoken aloud in combination at or above market price as jointly set by the Rights Holder, his Agency and Word Market Resources™.
This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of Vermaine, excluding its conflicts of Law provisions. You agree to submit to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction of the courts located within the Dome of Portland, Vermaine, to resolve any dispute or claim arising from this Agreement. If (a) you are not a U.S.E. citizen; (b) you do not reside in the U.S.E.; or (c) you are not accessing the Service from the U.S.E., you hereby agree that any dispute or claim arising from this Agreement shall be governed by the applicable law set forth below, without regard to any conflict of law provisions, and you hereby irrevocably abide by all applicable Law.
OTHER THAN AS EXPRESSLY SET OUT IN THESE TERMS OR ADDITIONAL TERMS, NEITHER THE AUTHOR NOR HIS PUBLISHER MAKE ANY SPECIFIC GUARANTEES ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS MATERIAL, ERRORS OR OMISSIONS PRESENTED INSIDE.
SOME JURISDICTIONS PROVIDE FOR CERTAIN WARRANTIES, SUCH AS THE IMPLIED WARRANTY OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, WE EXCLUDE ALL WARRANTIES.