I wished I could say Rainier was a natural. Fortunately, what he lacked in experience, he made up in enthusiasm. The boy was a quick learner, and before I knew what was happening, he was taking the lead and my breath alongside it.

Rainier and I spent about an hour discovering each other before his phone buzzed with a text from one of his bandmates. He apologetically left, but the timing was perfect because my dad came home soon after. He wasn’t overprotective or anything, but that didn’t mean I wanted him walking in on me making out with one of his employees. I could just imagine the fallout from that.

I could barely sleep that night, and when I woke up the next morning, I was still in a daze. I didn't think I'd ever felt this way after kissing a boy. With no plans for the day, I wandered from room to room before eventually settling down on the couch in the living room. The same place I'd spent the day before with Rainier.

I turned on the TV to one of my favorite shows but had a hard time focusing on what was going on. I couldn’t keep my mind from what had happened earlier. My lips were still raw from the stubble above his lips, and I touched my fingers to them trying to remember what it felt like to have his mouth pressed against mine.

My phone started ringing, and I stopped to enjoy my current ringtone. I had changed it to one of the songs Rainier and the Go-Aways had played the first night Rainier sang for them. It was the first song he’d ever sung for them, and I knew it would always make me happy. Even though I hadn’t realized how special it was at the time.

Unfortunately, when I flipped my phone over to look at the screen, any giddiness left my body. My mom was calling me. Again. It was the third time this week. For someone who never spoke to her daughter, it had to be a world record.

“What?” I said, answering the call.

“Is that any way to greet your mother?”

“Oh, are you pretending to be my mom again?”

“Really, Michelle, why do you act this way. I just wanted to let you know that Daniel and I just finished setting up a room for you in the house. I’ll text you a pic when–”

“Why?” I interrupted.

“Because I can’t figure out how to send a pic while I’m on the phone. Daniel insists it’s easy, but–”

“Why did you set a room up for me? I told you, I’m not moving in with you.”

“You also told me you were going to stay on campus this year, but I happen to know that’s a lie. Stay with us. It’s closer to the school so you won’t have to make that long drive anymore.”

I rolled my eyes at her words, even though I knew she couldn’t see me. “Anything else?”

“I’ll level with you, Michelle. I found this article online that said I might be entitled to more money from your father if you were living with me while going to school. I know he threatened to cut you off. How about you quit that crappy bookstore, come live with me, and I’ll promise to pay you a percentage of whatever I end up getting. It's win-win."

Money. All of this fake maternal concern came down to money. And not even actual money, but the possibility of it. I felt like I was going to be sick.

“Dad let me quit.” I refused to offer up the details of why.

“He did that just to spite me.”

"Oh, please."

"You don't know your father like I do."

“Goodbye, mother.”

She was saying something else as I hung up, but I couldn’t make it out. My mind was moving too fast to process her words. My mom only wanted me for money. I should have known there was a reason for her sudden appearance in my life. I hated the way she made me feel, like I was only worth it if she benefited somehow.

My phone started ringing again. She just had to get the last word in, and for some inexplicable reason, I answered it.

“What?” No response. “You called me, so go ahead and finish what you had to say.”

The voice on the other end cleared their throat, but even in that small sound, it was obvious it was not my mom on the other line.

“If this is a bad time…”

“Crap, Rainier. I’m so sorry. I thought you were someone else."

"I'm glad that's not how you plan on greeting me from now on."

"Did you really think that's how I was going to act after yesterday?"

He chuckled. “I’ve actually been thinking a lot about yesterday, and I was wondering if you’d like to um… go grab a burger or something.”

“A burger with the vegetarian?” I asked with a scandalized tone.

“Some annoying girl I work with insists that the burgers at The Farmhouse can turn even the strictest vegetarians. Want to help me prove her wrong?” Even over the phone, I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Sure. Pick me up at six,” I said with confidence and hung up the phone before I could overthink it. As soon as I did, I squealed to myself.

I hadn’t felt this adored since…well, it had been a while. I planned to bask in it as much as possible.

Rainier showed up at my house with two minutes to spare, and I even let him drive us to the diner in his station wagon. A memory of Julian and I fighting came to surface. I had refused to let him drive on our first date because I was too embarrassed to be seen in his piece of crap car. He was upset and called me shallow when I got into the driver’s seat of my car and refused to move. I'd won that argument, and we drove in my car from that point on.

Sitting in the passenger seat of Rainier’s car didn’t give me any of those same feelings. He was cute and talented, kind and funny. What did it matter what he drove? I let out a small laugh at how different I was from the girl I was even a year ago.

“What are you thinking about?” Rainier asked from the passenger seat. We were just pulling into the parking lot.

“Just how life can change so quickly. Sometimes you don’t even know what’s happening.”

"Tell me about it."

Neither one of us said anything else as he drove to The Farmhouse. Once there, Rainier parked the car and raced out to run around and open my door. He didn’t need to run though. I planned to let him pamper me. I hadn’t been this excited about a date in a long time. I hadn’t even wanted to date since my breakup with Julian, so doing this at all was huge.

As we walked toward the building, Rainier reached for my hand. I let him take it, that small gesture causing more butterflies than the over-the-top acts I’d insisted on in the past. Maybe it was because I didn’t have to ask for it that it meant so much. Or it could have been because genuine feelings were developing between the two of us. The possibility of the latter scared me after my talk with Jenny, but I was determined to enjoy this night.

Nothing could bring me down from this high. Or, at least, that’s what I thought until we walked through the front door. Last time I was in, I’d lucked out and not seen either of the waitresses who hated me. Tonight, both girls were working and wore matching scowls on their faces. Even Rainier picked up on the hostility coming from Katie and Gwen as we walked in.

“Do you want to try somewhere else?” he asked with scrunched brows.

Yes. I wanted to scream. Take me anywhere but here. It was fun to pretend we were different people, that I was a different person. But I had a reputation to uphold.

Surprisingly enough, I was upset by the anger radiating from them, but I wasn't willing to let either of them see how much their looks affected me.

“No, let’s get those burgers you promised.” My smile was so fake and I hated that Rainier didn’t decipher it.

Instead, he smiled and turned to Gwen. “Can we get a booth for two, please?”

She seated us with false cheer and left us to look over the menu.

“Okay, what was that all about?” Rainier asked. I shrugged in response, knowing a simple lift of the shoulder could be interpreted so many ways. I didn't want to lie, but I wasn't ready to tell him about the horrible things I'd done. I truly felt like I had changed in the last couple months, but doubted Rainier would be so forgiving. At least not yet.

When I didn't respond, he went on. “That was Gwen, right? Sarah always has such great things to say about her, but she seems a bit like a bitch to me.”

I gasped at his words. I hadn’t heard Rainier cuss before. “Does your sister know you talk like that?”

He chuckled. “Oh, come on, Michelle. You were just talking about how people change. Is one mean name actually that scandalous?”

“When it comes from you? Yes.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Hey, I’m going to go wash up before we eat. Will you just order double of whatever you normally get if our waitress comes back by?”

“So a double burger with bacon and no bun?” I asked innocently, which earned another laugh from Rainier. I wanted to make him laugh every minute of every day. The deep sound made my heart beat a little faster than usual.

“As long as it’s double bacon too,” he said with a wink and I about died. Who was this guy and where did all this newfound confidence come from?

“Deal.”

I watch as he walked away and expected Gwen to come over as soon as he was out of earshot to let me know how much she hated that I was sitting in her section tonight. Not only was she good friends with my ex-boyfriend, but she was probably still upset about the time I set her boyfriend up with my best friend.

I’d brought Mitch and Avery into The Farmhouse while Gwen was working with every intention of making her jealous. It worked and she and Mitch were living their happily ever after. I was still waiting for my thank you from them, but after several months, I doubted it was ever coming.

Even Katie was suspiciously out of view as I waited for one of them to either yell at me or take our order. I pulled out my phone as I waited but just scrolled without looking at what was on my screen. I’d been so excited to go on this date, and now I felt like something horrible was about to happen.

I didn’t have to wait long to find out what that something was. As Rainier walked back to the table, I saw the expression on his face and knew why I hadn’t seen Gwen or Katie the entire time he was gone. I also now knew why he took so long to wash his hands. They’d been talking, and it wasn’t kind.

“Who are you?” He stood by the booth, not bothering to sit back down.

“You know who I am,” I answered with baited breath.

“Did you seriously try to set up Gwen’s boyfriend with someone else even though you knew they were interested in each other?”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“And you broke up with your ex because he was going through hard times?”

“That wasn’t wh–”

“And then you spread rumors about him just because?”

“I had a lot going on.”

“What should I be preparing myself for, Michelle? Poor Rainier who never dated anyone and didn’t know that this was all some sick joke?”

“Why would you think that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Tears threatened to come to the surface, but I’d had too much experience with hiding my feelings to let them. I did what I normally did in situations like this. I put a cold expression on my face and lashed out. Anything to avoid feeling vulnerable. Anything to avoid letting people see how affected I was when things got hard.

“I guess you’ve got it all figured out then. At least I won’t be forced to put up with your newbie kisses anymore. I’d hate to think how awkward everything would be.”

I wanted to take the words back as soon as they were out of my mouth. I knew I’d gone too far. Rainier wasn’t like other guys I’d dated in the past. The guys who were as quick to say something hurtful in an argument. The ones who only cared about themselves.

No, Rainier was the kind of guy who opened doors, got up out of chairs, and saved his kisses for people he cared about.

Rainier closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m an idiot. People don’t change.” He started to walk out before he stopped and turned around. “Damn it, Michelle, I can’t just leave you here. Get in the car, and I’ll drive you home.”

I knew if I called Avery or my dad, they would get me, but a glance over at Katie and Gwen had me second-guessing whether or not I wanted to wait for someone to get me. They were both looking smug with their arms crossed over their chests.

I didn’t trust myself to speak. The shell I had in place was dangerously close to breaking. Instead, I got up and followed Rainier to his car.

We rode in uncomfortable silence. Neither one of us willing to speak, not even when Rainier dropped me off at my house.

It was only when his car pulled away that I allowed myself to cry.