I couldn’t stop thinking about Danny, now that there was actually something between us. New relationship energy sure was a hell of a drug.

Danny was rare. He wasn’t like any other subs or omegas I’d been with before. Our play didn’t feel superficial, like we were just doing it to get off. It felt almost like our souls were connecting, or something cheesy like that.

It felt like we had a true emotional connection.

Emotional connections weren’t exactly difficult to find in this scene, considering that so many kinks involved the psychologies of the individuals involved, but this one… it felt like it went beyond kink. Like we were meant for each other. Like we could be life partners.

I shook my head. I was going to be in big trouble if I went down that line of thought.

Danny had asked to be friends with benefits, and I’d actually been relieved when he’d said that. Well, relieved and disappointed. I would have been scared if he’d wanted to actually date and see where this went. My fears about relationships would arise. But I couldn’t help but be plagued by the thought that this wasn’t really what I wanted, and I was doing both of us a disservice by keeping my thoughts to myself.

I sighed, flipping my laptop open and navigating to my sex toy website. Danny and I had spent some time discussing kinks, and I wanted to order a couple things for him. Of course, I had an extensive collection of implements and toys, and he’d said he did too, but I wanted to get something new that was just for us.

Another thought I should only have been having in a committed relationship. We hadn’t even specified if we were exclusive or not. Though exclusivity meant it was definitely romantic, right, so I wouldn’t have wanted to bring it up anyway.

God, even this “friends with benefits” arrangement was more complicated than I thought it would be. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been in a relationship and had to negotiate these kinds of boundaries.

I clicked through the website idly, seeing if anything jumped out at me or inspired me for a future scene. It was more fun than I’d thought to imagine using all these toys on Danny—a butt plug up his ass, preparing him for my cock, or a harness for me to move him around with. A gag, maybe, especially with a ring so he could suck me off while restrained.

I could feel my cock getting hard already. Not surprising, considering the effect Danny had on me in person.

I decided a nice leather harness would be perfect for him to wear at the club, and I added it to my cart, along with a matching collar.

The collar gave me pause. Sometimes, in the BDSM community, collars were considered a sign of commitment. Some people even gave them the same importance as wedding rings. Of course, others just used them for play as well, but I wondered what connotation Danny would have.

Fuck it, I thought. I would buy it anyway because I liked how it looked, and imagining my collar on his neck felt intoxicating in a way I couldn’t quite describe. It would show everyone in the club that he was with me, under my control and protection.

I shivered just thinking about it.

After placing the order, I checked my phone for the time. I was supposed to get drinks with one of my friends, Corey, a submissive alpha. Submissive alphas were as rare as dominant omegas, but they existed. Some places didn’t make them feel welcome because they felt that alphas should always be dominant and omegas submissive. But Black Thorn was a place where everyone was welcome. We never wanted to make anyone feel like they were less than because of their desires.

That said, I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept at all. The idea of me being submissive to an omega was about as sexually appealing as having sex with a woman. It was just how I was wired, and I couldn’t change it, though some others could. We called them switches, and they were most often betas.

I closed my laptop and went to get dressed, realizing I was running a little late. I supposed I’d gotten caught up in sex toy shopping and chuckled to myself. If I told Corey, he’d understand, and probably tease me about it.

The bar we were supposed to meet at was a short walk from my house, and when I wandered in I found him seated at a table with a pitcher of beer. He poured a glass for me and smiled when he saw me.

“How’s it going, man?” he asked.

“Well,” I said genuinely, smiling back at him. I really did feel amazing, even if my relationship with Danny was shaky. He made me feel happier and more… content with life, I supposed, than I’d felt in a long time.

Corey squinted his eyes at me. “You look really happy. Spill.”

I laughed; I couldn’t help it. “I’m seeing someone.”

Corey’s eyebrows rose. “Like, a new boyfriend?”

My heart twinged at the reminder that Danny wasn’t my boyfriend, and probably would never be. But I quashed the feeling, wanting to bask in the happiness I did feel from having him in some way.

“He’s not a boyfriend, just a friend with benefits. But we have a great connection,” I said. “His name’s Danny and he’s new to our scene. Cute and super subby omega.”

Corey nodded. “That’s awesome. I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been waiting for something like this for a while.”

“Yeah, I just can’t really do hook ups. I like to have the continuity.”

“But friends with benefits is usually a temporary arrangement, isn’t it?” asked Corey. “I don’t know anyone who’s kept it going longer than like, a year.”

“Yeah…” I said, trailing off because I didn’t know what to say. He was right. “But we’ll see where it goes, I guess.”

“Yeah, you have to just enjoy the moment, right?” said Corey. “But if you do want a relationship, you should probably let him know that sooner rather than later.”

I sighed. It was probably time to come clean to Corey. He was one of my closest friends, next to Caden, and it wouldn’t do me any good to hide my feelings from him.

“That’s the thing,” I started, “I do actually want a relationship, but he doesn’t. But I like him a lot and I want to have something with him.”

Corey smiled wryly. “Not very alpha to take scraps, is it?”

“You’re one to talk,” I teased.

“Hey,” he said, holding up his hands, “I might be submissive in the bedroom, but I’m an alpha through and through. If I want something, I go for it and get it, you know?”

“I just worry I’ll scare him away if I come on too strong.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” said Corey, “but you’re going to get your heart broken.”

“Ouch,” I said jokingly. “I can always count on you to tell it to me straight.”

He shrugged. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“It’s better to have loved and lost than not loved at all,” I said stoically. “I’d rather enjoy Danny while I can. But it’s early days, maybe he’ll come around, or his feelings will change. Or maybe mine will.”

“Maybe you’ll discover that he has the most nuclear farts ever known to mankind,” said Corey. “And it’ll just be a dealbreaker.”

I laughed out loud at the unexpected comment. “Maybe.”

“But seriously, if you want a relationship, look for a relationship,” said Corey.

“Don’t you think it’s hard in the kink community?” I asked, refilling my beer. This conversation was bringing up many emotions I was not prepared to deal with. I’d wanted to get Danny off my mind, but here I was, discussing my relationship with him at length.

“Yeah, it is hard. Lots of people are taken, or just looking to play and not date,” said Corey. “And I’m sure you can imagine it’s difficult for me. But why settle for less than what you really want?”

Because I’m running out of time, I wanted to say. I wasn’t old, exactly, but I was getting to the point where I was wondering if I would ever find a life partner. If I was hung up on Danny, I would never keep my eyes open for one, but then, no one had captured my attention quite like Danny.

“Let’s talk about happier subjects,” said Corey.

“Yeah. Like, what’s happening in your life?” I asked.

“Me? Not much. Work’s been fine. I got skipped over for a promotion the other day, but it’s not a huge deal. I didn’t think I’d get it,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not talking about work! I’m talking about your love life.” I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh,” he said, blushing. “I’ve just been playing with random doms. Even a couple alpha doms, but I have to admit, the energy between two alphas is kind of weird.”

“Really?” I asked. “How so?”

“It’s fine once we get into the scene, but it’s hard to get there in the first place. We keep clashing. Like I said, I might be submissive, but I am an alpha. I still find myself trying to push my will like I do with omegas.”

“Maybe you should consider playing with betas,” I advised. “There might be less tension.”

Corey nodded. “Now there’s a thought.”

Just then, my phone pinged. I was going to ignore it—I wasn’t the kind of person who liked to be on my phone when I was with someone—but it pinged two more times.

“Go on, get it,” said Corey.

I slid my phone out of my pocket and was delighted to see that I’d received three text messages from Danny.

I opened the messages and my eyes widened when I saw that they were sexts. Sexy texts. My heart skittered in my chest as I took in the image of Danny’s bare chest and stomach, with his cock hanging semi-hard below. My cock immediately started to harden in response.

There was another photo that was angled so I could see his tight, round omega ass, and the third message was text. “Can’t wait to feel you pounding me from behind,” he’d written. “I’m so wet for you already.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” said Corey, interrupting my thoughts.

“It’s Danny. He uh, sent me some sexy pictures.”

Corey grinned. “What are you going to do about that?”

“Invite him over,” I said automatically, but even as I was typing out a reply, I realized that inviting him over would have different connotations. Playing in the club, as friends with benefits, was one thing. And it wasn’t like people never brought hook ups to their house. But with Danny, it felt different. Like it would be more intimate.

Maybe it was all in my head, but the text was sent, and I could hardly backtrack now. I put my phone back in my pocket after turning it on silent, resolving to focus on my friend for the rest of the conversation.

But I knew Danny would say yes to my invitation, and the thought that I would see him again tonight had me squirming in my seat.