I wasn’t lying to Jesse. What I’d said was true. I didn’t have any shame about what we’d done the night before. Why would I have? I wasn’t homophobic. I wasn’t embarrassed to have slept with a man.

But I was confused.

Not just about my sexuality, though that was the start of it. I was definitely surprised that I could have such strong feelings for a man after spending so much time with women and thoroughly enjoying myself.

But it was clear to me. I’d never enjoyed any of the women with whom I’d been the way I’d enjoyed being with Jesse. Nothing even compared to that night with Jesse.

Which was why I didn’t regret it. It had been the best night of my life. And a part of me couldn’t wait to explore that with him.

Being so intensely attracted to him changed more than just my sexuality, though. It changed how I thought about myself.

For as long as I could remember, I’d known I was a beta. It was just one of those things you knew as you grew into shifterhood. Everyone learned from a young age exactly what their role was. As far as I’d heard, nobody had ever been wrong about it, either.

If I really was meant to be with Jesse, though, then I’d been wrong about mine. I couldn’t be a beta and be fated to an alpha. That would make me an omega—that was all there was to it. Being in a relationship with him completely changed my role, and it meant I’d been wrong about myself the entire time.

Which was hard for me, because I was a meticulous person. I carefully and purposefully analyzed every aspect of my life. It was in my fox nature. So, to have been wrong about such a vital piece of my life… it had sent me into a tailspin.

On top of that, this anomaly was sending me into a tailspin, too. At first, I’d actually enjoyed researching it. It had been entertaining and exciting. I’d felt a sense of adventure for the first time in long time when we’d found it. Like there really finally had been a problem for the guard to take on.

But, now I realized… there really was a problem for the guard to take on. And not a small one, not an easily fixable one.

I regretted ever having hated the fact that Santo Oso was a sleepy, boring, safe place. Now, I wished for that safe place back.

Because, not only was there this huge threat, but I also had to try to explain it to my superiors, who had made it very clear they did not believe my research or me. But it was vital that they understood what was going on.

So, all in all, I was a complete mess. Worried about the fate of Santa Oso and Stelline City while also trying to reconcile that the things I’d known about myself hadn’t ever been true.

I couldn’t keep bottling up all these thoughts and emotions, though. I needed to talk to someone. I needed to get this out, and I could only think of one person to whom I wanted to talk… Jesse.

It felt so complicated, though. Usually, when I vented to Jesse, it was about something else. Something that had nothing to do with him. It felt plain weird to go to him about him.

I didn’t know who else to go to, though. He was my person. He was who calmed me down when I was a mess. He was the man with whom I worked through my issues. It had to be him.

So, I sucked it up and gave him a call.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hey… it’s me,” I said anxiously.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Look, I’m sorry about being a little standoffish earlier. But we need to talk. Do you think you could come over? If it’s not too late. I mean, we could talk tomorrow if it is.”

“No, no, it’s not too late,” he said quickly, almost sounding eager.

“Okay… cool. Well, come over whenever, then. I’ll be here.”

“Alright, see you in ten.”

“Great, see you.”

After hanging up, I felt anxiety rise up within me. A small part of me regretted calling him, because knowing he’d be over in a mere ten minutes was extremely stressful.

But it needed to be done. And I knew, once he was here, I’d probably start to calm down.

That didn’t turn out to be the case, though. When the doorbell rang, my heartrate skyrocketed, and I had to take a few deep breaths before I answered it.

It didn’t even help to see his face, though he was smiling and looked like his happy, normal self. It should’ve put me at ease, but it only made me feel weirder about the fact that I wasn’t happy.

“Hey,” he said, as he made himself at home, taking a seat on my couch. I shut the door behind him and followed.

“So, you’re finally ready to discuss this?” he asked.

“Yeah… I am. I’m sorry about earlier.”

“It’s fine,” he shrugged, “You needed the time you needed.”

Man, he was so sweet. And it only made me want him more.

“What I said earlier was true. I’m not embarrassed that we hooked up. Not at all. I thought it was a beautiful, wonderful, fantastic night. Possibly the best night of my life.”

His face lit up. “You really feel that way?”

“Yeah… I really do,” I admitted.

Then confusion crossed his face. “But if that’s how you feel, why have you been acting so weird? Why has it seemed to bother you so deeply?”

I shrugged. “It didn’t really bother me, not necessarily. Or, rather, not the act itself. It’s just that what we did really changed the way I view myself. Hell, it kind of changed the way I view the world in some respects.”

“Because you never thought you were gay?” he asked. “I mean, I never thought I was, either.”

I shook my head. “No. I mean, yeah, that was a little weird, too. But ultimately, being gay doesn’t change how I view myself. I can be gay, and I’m still… me.”

“I don’t follow.” He raised an eyebrow. “What about us hooking up would make you not you?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know… maybe the fact that I’ve spent my whole life believing I was a beta!”

I could see on his face he had finally processed this. “Right, and now you think you might be an omega.”

“Might be? Jesse, I have to be! That’s the only way I can be fated to you.”

His eyes widened. “But you do think you’re fated to me?”

I shifted slightly in my seat. “I mean, yeah, I actually really do. I just… I don’t like the way that takes away my identity.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how worried I’ve been. I thought… I thought you hadn’t felt what I felt. That you didn’t think we were mates— that you didn’t want to explore this more.”

“I mean… a small part of me doesn't want to if it would mean preserving my identity, but… I know I can’t do that. I can’t let my fated mate walk out of my life.”

He looked at me curiously. “This really bothers you that much? That you’re an omega?”

“Wouldn’t it bother you?” I asked him, a little more dramatically than I’d intended. “If you spent your entire life believing you were an alpha, but you then found out you were actually a beta, wouldn’t you be bothered?”

He finally seemed to get it. “Yeah… yeah, I guess you’re right. That would be a shock to the system.”

I sighed. “I mean, does this even happen? Are people ever wrong about what they are?”

“Honestly, I’ve never heard of it.” He took his hands in mine. “But, Finn, you’re not wrong about who you are.”

“How so?” I asked.

“I mean… even if you’re an omega instead of a beta, you’re the same person, Finn. You’re the same person you’ve always been. Nothing about you has changed.”

I nodded. “Intellectually, I might know that. But, internally… it’s just really hard. I thought I knew the ins and outs of me. I spend so much time analyzing everything, but I missed this major part of myself?”

“Maybe that’s because this part of yourself isn’t that important.” He put his hand gently on my cheek. “Finn, it’s just a label. Just a stupid label that comes with a bunch of idiotic stereotypes, you know that. There are these expectations for omegas, beta, and alphas, but, at the end of the day… you know we don’t fit cleanly into these categories. Some people don’t even think I’m an alpha when they meet me. Life is complicated. Knowing who we are is complicated. You weren’t wrong about who you are. It’s just that who you are doesn’t fit as neatly into a category as you once thought.”

I was surprised by how much better that made me feel.

He was right—it was just a dumb label. In so many ways, Jesse had omega traits himself. He wasn’t some full-on alpha macho man. He had a warm, nurturing, emotional side to him.

So what did it really matter if my label had changed? It didn’t define me. It wasn’t all that I was. It wasn't like I’d ever felt like I fulfilled every beta trait there was. Maybe I was just on the cusp, stuck between two stereotypes, though none ever truly fit.

“Thank you,” I told him gently. “That actually helps. See, this is why I talk to you. You’re the only one who brings me back down to earth.”

He laughed. “Yeah, that’s what keeps you coming back, right?”

“It actually does, though. I mean, I didn’t even want to call you tonight, and still, I did, because I couldn’t think of anyone else I could talk to about all this. It just had to be you.”

He furrowed his brow. “You didn’t want to call me?”

“I mean, not like that,” I began to explain. “I just thought it might be weird talking to you about… you know, you. About things that went on between us.”

“How could you think that?” he asked. “You’re my best friend, you know that. You can talk to me about absolutely anything, at any time. I’m always here to talk.”

“I know that, I do. I just thought it could get awkward.”

“Is anything ever awkward between us?” he asked.

“No, not really. But things change once you bring romance into the fold, don’t they? Relationships shift, things get different.”

He gripped my hand tightly. “Nothing is going to change between us. Nothing ever could change between us. Finn, it truly feels like we’re two halves of the same soul. I know that’s an intense thing to say, but it’s true. We’ve always gotten along so well. Even before I started having romantic feelings for you, I felt like I needed you. Like I just had to have you in my life. The idea of ever being apart from you has ached… and maybe that’s because I’m not supposed to be apart from you.”

I had butterflies in my stomach. I’d never heard something romantic in my life.

But an insecurity popped into my mind.

“You’re so great,” I told him. “Truly amazing. And I want to believe what you believe. Hell, in many ways, I feel what you believe. But, part of me thinks you’re this amazing alpha, the cream of the crop, and an alpha as great as you deserves a real omega. Not somebody as confused about it all as I am.”

He put both his hands on my face, one on each cheek, and stared me in my eyes.

“You are what I deserve. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met. And I’m going to love you no matter what, no matter what your label is. I will always be mad for you.”

He leaned in and kissed me, and, once again, the passion of that kiss could not be ignored. It felt perfect, like my lips were always supposed to have been on his, like this was where we were meant to be.

Right there on the couch, he began to undress me, pulling my shirt off of me. But, it was different from the sex we’d previously had. It wasn’t rough and tumble. He wasn’t ripping my clothes off like an alpha typically would have.

He was taking my clothes off gingerly, being sweet and gentle with me. When he let his hand trail own my torso, it was with a soft touch. When he kissed my neck, it didn’t involve teeth.

I’d loved the sex we’d had last night. It had been hot. Dirty, rough, primal, and oh so sexy. And I wouldn’t have imagined that I’d ever have wanted anything besides that hot primal sex.

But oddly enough, this felt just as good. It felt like he really cared about me, that he treasured my body. He didn’t want to simply have me—he wanted me to enjoy every second. He wanted me to feel the intensity of his emotions.

And, as he took off my pants, I surely did. He kissed my lips softly, and I just knew… this was a man who cared about me above all else. Who loved me more than anything.

I could feel myself getting hard and wet, and, when he took off his pants, he already had a large erection himself.

He put it to my asshole softly, rubbing it up and down my slit as he began to press forward ever so softly. I liked this even more than the forcefulness of last night. Admittedly, I’d kinda liked the soft stinging of when he’d entered me roughly. I didn’t mind a little pain with my sex—it was kinky. I could appreciate that.

But, with him gently pushing back my walls ever so slowly, I felt no pain. And that was nice, too. I only felt full, only felt pleasure.

I took in a deep breath as his full girth reached inside me. I felt his balls resting on my ass as he slowly pulled back and began to move in and out of me, slowly at first, savoring the pleasure that was being inside my ass.

He began to lick down my body, his tongue running up and down the length of my back. He went up to the back of my neck and began to gently suck it, tasting me as much as he possibly could.

No, not as much as he possibly could, actually. Because, he soon moved up even further back up my neck and reach around to my lips, where he pushed his tongue down my throat.

I loved the taste of him. His tongue was heaven on mine. I closed my eyes as our tongues wrapped around one another, pushing back and forth and exploring each other’s mouths as he moved in and out of my ass.

Eventually, his speed became faster, and he began to suck me a little harder. Nothing like the roughness of last night— it still felt sweet and romantic, but it did increase my pleasure.

I’d thought we’d made love previously, but no, we hadn’t. What we’d done had hardly been making love. It had been fucking. But this? This was making love. This was creating a connection.

And an incredibly strong one at that.

I felt like we were one. I was so in love with him. We were connected in a way that I’d never been connected to anyone, a way that I wanted to be connected to him forever.

As he began going even faster, he pulled his mouth away from mine to moan. I did, too. I was overtaken by the pleasure, nearly out of breath, even though we hadn’t been going that fast. He just filled me up in a way that was completely overwhelming. I was tingling from the inside out.

I could tell he was soon going to cum inside me. As he put his girth all the way inside me, and I felt his balls against me, I could feel they were tight. Not to mention the way that he was breathlessly moaning on top of me.

I was ready for it, getting near the edge of an orgasm myself. I wanted to feel him inside me. I wanted his cum to drip down into me and fill me up with warmth. Just seeing he was about to cum was enough to get me going. I felt my own balls start to tighten up, pulsing as I began to moan more and more.

And then the moment came when he busted inside me, and I felt his hot jizz fill my insides. It was so sexy, knowing he’d spread his seed inside me.

Just a moment later, I yelled out as I shot my own cum into the air. It was intense, the best orgasm I’d ever had. Even better than last night. I hadn’t thought that was possible. I surely hadn’t thought it was possible with slow, emotional sex. I’d always been a rough guy myself.

But now, it was so much more intense after I’d accepted my feelings for him. Even just being sober and more aware of how I felt had added intensity. It was all so perfect.

We were both completely panting and out of breath as he finished up. I gasped for air as he collapsed next to me on the couch, his legs wrapped up in mine.

This was what amazed me even more about us having sex together. Even after the act, lying naked with each other felt so good. It was a whole other kind of intimate. One that I’d never experienced with anyone else before.

Even with the girls with whom I’d had great sex, I’d had no desire to hang out with them afterward. After I’d cum and the moment had been gone, I’d always been ready to head out and often had done exactly that.

But, with Jesse, I never felt like I wanted to go. I didn’t want to leave. Lying here with his sweaty, naked body was almost as good as the sex. We were both vulnerable with each other and yet completely comfortable. It was heaven on earth.

He smiled at me. “Well, that was a little different, huh?”

“A good different,” I told him.

“So, was it as good for you as it was for me?”

“Absolutely,” I assured him. “Positively amazing.”

“Did it feel… as emotional for you as it did for me?” he asked me. “That really felt more like sex. Like… we had a bond going. Does that sound stupid?”

“No,” I answered quickly, “it definitely doesn’t. It sounds exactly like I felt. I think we were connected. I mean… I think we are connected. I think we always were.”

He grinned from ear to ear.

“So, uh, any chance you’d want to be my boyfriend?”

I grinned back. “You want to date for real?”

“Yeah, I do. Let’s make this official. It doesn’t feel right for it not to be.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Yes, of course I’d like to be your boyfriend!” I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

We kissed a little more. I couldn’t believe how amazing this felt. All the fear and uncertainty I’d once had were completely gone. This felt right. I definitely wanted to date Jesse for real. Hell, I maybe wanted marry him for real.

But, with the weight of my relationship status off my chest, another weight became heavier.

It was the anomaly. I still hadn’t told Jesse about what I’d found out. And I wanted to—I really did. I wanted to work this out with someone.

I didn’t feel like I could tell him, though. He was scared of the anomaly—terrified of it. And, I wouldn’t make that any better by telling him what I thought the anomaly actually was.

How do you tell the man who just became your boyfriend, the man you want to protect and keep happy: Hey, I know we just got together and things are feeling really good, but I think the anomaly might be a sea monster.

Yeah, there would be no easy way to break that news.