Thanksgiving 2002

 

There were rainbows on the wind. It was what Lily Campbell’s mother always called the night sky in Kaimuki when the sunset drew waves of light in all hues across the ocean. “A riot of rainbows,” she’d say. “Too many colors to count.” It struck Lily, just then, despite the noise of the crowd and the lingering humidity which made her skin damp and her brown hair frizz, that no matter how long she lived on the mainland, the sunset at home and the ocean breeze that cooled her skin as it moved, would always hold a riot of rainbows.

She’d missed her mom since the cancer had taken her. Lily had only been sixteen then, a sophomore in high school, but her memory, the sweet things her mom spoke about their island had frozen in her mind. Lily determined nothing of her mother would leave her thoughts. Looking over that sunset and all those colors, Lily realized she’d missed the island almost as much as she missed her mom.

“What about him?” Kiki’s voice was high, loud, and pulled Lily from her thoughts, right into the hustle of the crowd as Kiki shouted over it. She moved on her tiptoes and bounced when she spoke, something that reminded Lily of some sort of dwarf dance right out of a Lord of the Rings film. Kiki’s voice boomed, contrasting her short legs and squat frame.

The bar was too crowded, the band’s speakers keyed up with too much reverb, but Kiki still tried, insisted for the third time in two hours that Lily keep their undergrad bet going. Kiki had never lost and claimed that Lily’s inability to embarrass herself bordered on the pathetic.

“No. Not him,” Lily told her dorm mate, hoping that the slow shake of her head and the bustle of particularly easy marks in the crowd would distract Kiki.

“Why not?” No such luck. 

Lily pulled a long swig on her lukewarm beer, wishing the group of mainlanders would clear away from the bar. She wanted a fresh bottle but not bad enough that she’d fight a bunch of eighteen-year-olds who looked for all the world like they’d just broken from their leashes.

Kiki’s elbow slipped easily into Lily’s side, but she was able to keep from flinching. Kaimuki was her hometown. There were eyes on her, desperate gossips waiting to see what New Haven had done to her. All of them, Lily guessed, wanted to know if she’d forgotten where she’d come from. She stretched one long leg, leaning against the bar, and Lily moved a shoulder, a slow, small gesture that told Kiki to be patient.

“Invalid. I wouldn’t stand a chance,” she finally answered, holding the bottle a little in front of her mouth, guarding her words in case any of those gossips had super-sensitive hearing. “These local boys know me. They’d never believe the shit I’d have to say to win.”

“You’ve been away for four years. The mainland is a long way away.” Kiki came close, preventing herself from the exhausting need to yell. Her referring to Connecticut as the mainland seemed odd, out of place with Kiki’s Tennessee accent. “Maybe Yale has changed you.”

“No amount of courses in Modern Apocalyptic Narratives and The History of Political Theory would change me that much.”

“You sure?”

The boy in question nodded at Lily, throwing out a “howzit, Lils?” before he charged in the center of those eighteen-year-olds still angling for drinks from the flustered bartender.

“Told you.”

Liam, her brother, had made the day before an epic return. Barbeque, music, and too much liquor. He’d welcomed Lily and Kiki to the island with as much fanfare as he could muster and nearly half the boys in the bar tonight had made an appearance. It had felt as though he wanted to remind her that his house—the house that had been her home since their mother’s death— was still waiting for her.

Lily moved around, catching the eye of a Kai, the bartender. She’d done grade school and pee-wee volleyball with him. Now he manned Tiki Tommy’s bar. The place was small, not like those Honolulu tourist traps. Lily had outgrown it by the time she was eighteen, but the beer was cold and cheap and Tommy’s was right on the beach, the windows opened, the patio expansive enough that the ocean breeze flew around the crowd. It offered a small reprieve to the humid air and the crowded club. Lily could almost taste the salt water on her tongue between quick sips she took from the now half-empty bottle.  

Besides, it was comfortable and the only real place in Kaimuki her and her friends could drink for free. Like most people in their small town, when Lily was home, she went to Tommy’s.

Kai smiled at Lily, flashing his perfect white teeth and deep-set dimples, moving up his eyebrows as if to ask a silent question.

Lily tilted her warm beer at him, then threw up two fingers.

Kiki sighed, looking a little annoyed—the small tilt of her head as she scanned the crowd and the slight dip of her mouth told Lily she was getting bored. She’d spent her entire undergrad career at Yale with her dorm mate. Lily knew when Kiki’s mind wandered because she’d gone too long without stirring up drama.

“You keep looking, though,” she told Kiki, putting her cash into her back pocket when Kai scooted two cold bottles of Blue Moon toward her then waved off her money. He hazarded a long look at Kiki, which she completely missed, and Lily smiled behind her bottle. Kai was beautiful—dark skin, big brown eyes, and a trim frame. He wasn’t big, but he was cut, and that was exactly the kind of guy that always caught Kiki’s attention. Usually.

Lily took another sip of her beer. Moisture was dripping on the orange slices and small flecks of ice floated inside the bottle. “I’m not going to back out.”

The tiny dip pulling down the corners of Kiki’s mouth deepened, and two faint lines creased against her lips in a show of obvious disbelief. “You said that last week when we drove into New York.” She took the Blue Moon when Lily handed it to her, not missing a beat between drinking and bitching. “Didn’t stop you from chickening out of the bet at The Rum House. That guy was a big dumb football player. You could have won that fifty easy.”

“He smelled like a frat house.”

“Then you called him a little man boy overcompensating for obvious short comings.”

“He got handsy.” Lily shrugged, nostrils flaring as she recalled the guy. Maybe the insult had been a little over the top. Lily had always been too quick with her insults, too little with her thoughts. Her loose, thoughtless words had gotten her into trouble more than once. But the little man boy been sloppy drunk and not nearly as cute up close as he had been twenty feet across the bar. “Besides, you know I’m not into jocks.”

“Who cares?” Kiki nabbed a barstool when one of the eighteen-year-old haoles shot out of the seat and onto the dance floor. Her friend wiggled on the stool, straightening her back as though to add height so she could be level with Lily. “It’s just a game. And you promised…”

“Fine,” Lily said, hiding her low exhale behind the rim of her Blue Moon. “Let me finish off this bottle, and I’ll…I’ll let you pick the victim. I just need a little liquid courage.”

I’m off the island in two weeks anyway. She closed her eyes as she poured the cold beer down her throat. Who cares what an ass I make of myself with a little shock-flirting?

“No backing out?” Kiki’s voice was higher-pitched now, showing her excitement as she turned toward Lily. It was a little sad, actually, but Lily guessed she owed it to her friend. Lily had been the one to polish off three containers of hummus and two pints of Rocky Road ice cream inside of a week when she’d first arrived in New Haven. She’d been homesick for the island, for her niece Zinnia, and all the funny eleven-year-old things she liked to do. Kiki had never complained.

Liam was sixteen years older than Lily. He’d been the only father she’d known since hers had never been part of their lives. And when he married a pretty redhead from Georgia named Ellen, and they’d had Zinnia, Lily had been fascinated, utterly in love with the little girl. Enough that she didn’t mind how goofy her brother was. Zinnia even made the pain of losing her mom sting a little less. Lily and Zinnia were more like sisters and it was her and, yeah, okay, even goofy Liam whom she’d missed most when she got to New Haven to start at Yale.

“You’ve worked so hard, Lil,” Liam had said four years ago, trying his best to convince her that leaving Kaimuki was something their mother would have wanted for her. “And remember, it’s not forever.” Liam had carried her bag all the way to the terminal, looking up at the lights, to the TSA agents, anywhere but at Lily’s face. “Besides, I’ve got big plans for your room.” Her brother had rubbed his stomach, smirking at her in the way that always reminded Lily just how full of shit he was. “Gonna turn it into a gym. Work on my abs.” He emphasized his point by pushing out the small paunch around his middle.

Lily hadn’t believed him. She hadn’t believed the forced smile Liam had given her as she walked away from her gate. She knew her brother. He’d missed her, and he’d said so reluctantly the day before when he picked her up from the airport with Kiki at her side.

“Has it been four years already?” Liam had asked, pulling her toward him in a one arm hug as he led them through the airport. “Damn. I was just getting my gym the way I wanted it.”

“Yeah,” Lily had answered, poking at the thickening waistline. “I can tell.”

Her smile lowered at the thought. Last night, Liam had asked the question Lily wasn’t sure how to answer. “You going to have a break before you get a job? You’ve only been back to the island four times since you started up in New Haven, and you deserve a break.” He took a sip of his beer, rolling the bottle between his fingers as though he thought of something he kept to himself and then he nodded, polishing off the beer before he continued. “That tech company, the one Little Bobbie works at? Anyway, Bobbie says they’re hiring college grads and U of H has a really good graduate programs if you want to do your Masters. Besides, I know Zee and Ellen would love to have you back full time.”

“Just them?” she’d asked, cocking an eyebrow at the omission of himself in that question.

“What? I told you. Your room is mine now.”

He’d laughed, tickled her side in a tease, but Lily hadn’t missed the smile Liam wore the rest of the night. They wanted her home. She wanted to be home, but Stanford had one of the best law programs in the country. Stanford would help Lily land the corporate law gig she’d always wanted. But that meant another three years away from the family, from her island.

“So?” Kiki asked, leaning closer and drawing Lily out of her thoughts.

The particularly fast song ended, and the crowd grew louder—a roar of hums that went timid, a little too intimate for such a large crowd when the tempo shifted and a slow song had couples pushing together like they’d been doused in glue. “My choice and you won’t back out?”

Lily pulled on her bottle, trying to clear Kiki’s nagging voice from her ear. If she went on ignoring her dorm mate, Kiki would have a fit and then the drama would level up. It always did when Kiki didn’t get her way.

“Sure,” Lily answered, not wanting to disrupt the easy, relaxed vibe that had fallen upon her since they’d landed back on the island. There would be plenty of worry and stress when they returned to New Haven. It was what pre-law undergrads did—worry. She didn’t need a preview of that if Kiki didn’t get her way. “Fine,” she said again, polishing off the Blue Moon before she set it on the bar behind her. “Do your worst.”

It was one of those things she’d said just to say. Something to keep her friend happy. Something said that she’d regretted the second the words left her mouth. Kiki Devon always did her worst. She did the things, said the things that no one would, as though it was a mission from God she took to heart. But leaning against that bar that night, with Kiki’s attention on the crowd, gaze shifting over the swaying, dancing bodies, to the outskirts of the dance floor, on the line of onlookers watching the room, Lily thought her friend’s mission would only lead to trouble.

It did.

About five minutes, fourteen seconds after Lily had laid down the “do your worst” challenge.

“Holy shit. That one. He’s perfect.”

The stars aligned. Or, more apt, Lily thought, maybe God was just in a really good mood that night. At least, in that moment. Kiki jerked her chin toward the opening that led to the patio. There were couples milling around, drinking, laughing, talking, and a few stragglers who leaned against the large columns and grass-skirted partition of the main bar and the patio. There were groups of two and three guys pointing out groups of girls, and couples arguing or making out—all part of the atmosphere. All lent to the noise and chaos around the room, peppering the air like the salt water and humidity.

In the middle of all that distraction, Lily spotted him, like some bullshit phantom that stretched forward and descended from one of the million adolescent daydreams she’d had over the years.

“Keilen Rivers.” It came out in a whisper Lily knew no one heard, and she was glad for it. That was a name she’d always kept to herself—like him, the secret she harbored so no one would know how much he’d stayed on her mind. Lily wondered why, as Kiki tugged on her arm—a giddy, stupid gesture that moved her entire left side—he still had the same effect on her. That same rush of fear and desperate, stupid schoolgirl want that had kept her distracted anytime Keilen had moved through the hallways at Kaimuki High School. He’d floated through the crowd of students as if he existed in some world where no one was good enough, strong enough, beautiful enough to touch him.

He’d scared her so much that she’d never said more than two words to him, usually “yes” or “no,” but inside that fear was a harbored secret that Lily would never tell—how she thought of him; all the disgusting, wonderful things she’d equally wished she’d had the stomach to do to him and with him, and those thoughts she hoped would never repeat in her mind.

“So, do you know this one?”

Kiki’s voice pulled Lily from her thoughts. Then, the reality of the bullshit bet she knew she couldn’t talk her way out of set in.

“God, Ki, I dunno. Couldn’t we…”

“He sure is staring at you hard enough.”

And he was, Lily realized, between the breaths she took and the words she tried to form to convince her friend to pick another target.

“You do know him, don’t you?”

“Not…not really,” she managed, inhaling as she made weak attempts not to stare at him. He was larger now than he had been in high school, unbelievable as it seemed to her. It had been his size that had attracted her—tall, massive frame, shoulders that stretched beyond anything an eighteen-year-old kid should manage; his body had been a wonderland that dirtied up even Lily’s filthiest thoughts. Now? That frame, that shape, was wider, somehow, larger.

A small crowd was gathered around Keilen, but they ignored him. Most of the attention in the bar had shifted to Keilen’s cousin, Kona Hale. Lily knew Kona and his twin Luka, had been introduced at parties, at local events her friends forced her into when she was a teen. She had even spent more than a little time with Luka one drunken night that she’d tried to put out of her memory since. If she thought about it, in fact, she’d spoken to Kona and Luka more than Keilen, on the few occasions the big Hawaiians visited, but she’d never bought into the hero worship that tended to follow Kona and Luka.

Lily shuddered, pushing back the sadness that fell over her when she glanced at Kona. He’d lost so much since the last time she’d seen him. Death had hit him hard—it always did when you loved someone—she could see that plainly in his face. His smile wasn’t as broad. Of course, that might have been from the few months he’d spent in prison back in New Orleans, something that had nearly derailed his NFL draft. It hadn’t, and the crowd knew it. They surrounded Kona like a swarm. Stupid. Considering the man next to Kona. To Lily he’d always been more, a lot more to her than Kona was to everyone else. Keilen was a lot more of everything to Lily.

He wore loose-fitting charcoal shorts and a casual quarter-sleeve white shirt with the top two buttons unfastened. Dark tribal tattoos peeked from beneath his thin shirt. The ink was black, set in the Samoan pattern Lily had seen her entire life living on Oahu. But she’d never seen Keilen with those markings. She’d never gotten close enough. Every mark had a purpose; each line and loop told a story, and on Keilen that story was likely rich, maybe as dangerous as the glint of menace in his eyes and the hard edges of his fine features. 

“Well, he’s looking at you like…”

“I see that.”

And she did. For some reason that gaze was sharp, the slight angle of the right side of his mouth was tilted upward. Keilen downed his beer and tapped Kona on the arm before he walked toward Lily, pausing to deposit the empty bottle on an unoccupied table and moved through the crowd.

The air around her seemed to grow thick, and Lily’s heart pattered and thumped as though she’d run a marathon. Without realizing she’d done it, she gripped Kiki’s wrist because it seemed like the only thing that would keep her grounded.

“God, Lil, you’ve lost all the color in your face.”

She could only nod, inhaling again as Keilen came within feet of her. “Ki…I don’t know if I can…”

“Oh no you don’t.” Kiki moved her attention back to Lily’s face, releasing a low, highly amused giggle before she joined her friend watching Keilen’s movement toward them at the bar. “This guy is perfect. The way you’re all flustered and nervous, hell, I’ll be fifty bucks richer inside of two minutes.” Ignoring Lily’s glare, Kiki gave a forceful nudge with her shoulder and then motioned for Kai to get her another drink.

In a classic Kiki move, she executed a subtle turn, seeming to focus her attention on the bartender, but Lily knew full well, her friend’s ears were tuned in for the impending conversation between her and Keilen.

“Shit…” Lily mumbled, bringing her face to the right, gaze flicking the left to watch Keilen’s approach. She managed what she hoped was a nonchalant maneuver, for as long as it took for him to get to within five feet of her. She took a large guzzle of the beer Kiki handed her and let it dangle from her fingers before she whispered the small prayer because she needed all the strength she could muster.

“Lily? Lily Campbell?”

Lips pressed together, she swallowed the remainder of her beer before she faced him.

Be cool. Act as though you don’t care.

That had been a prerequisite the two dorm mates had decided upon as freshman inventing the stupid bet. That would be the only way to be convincing.

Shoot for bored, but engaged. You’re trying to seduce with the most outlandish lines. They have to be believable.

“Do I know you?” She was an idiot, that much she decided when Keilen stared at her, moving his jaw around as if he needed to hold back the insult that worked inside his mouth. “I’m sorry. There’s just a lot of people here, and I’m terrible with faces.” She moved her fingers in a graze, touching his wrist in a small gesture of apology.

I’m a liar! Total fake!

“Come on, you know me,” he said, his features relaxing when he glanced down at her hand grazing his arm. His skin was warm, and Lily’s fingers tinkled when she drew her touch along his skin before she dropped her arm to her side. Keilen followed the movement with his steely gaze. “We went to high school together, yeah? At Kaimuki? Your locker was by mine during my senior year.”

Lily waited a beat, tilting her head, squinting her eyes as she watched his fine features. His full mouth looked swollen, caught in a smile she wasn’t sure was genuine, and his bottom lip had a bead of moisture right in the center, likely what remained of his beer. Fleetingly, she thought of how much she wanted to lick that beer from his mouth before she drew her eyebrows up, feigning recognition that pulled Keilen’s half smile into something wider. Something that made Lily’s heart race even more.

“Oh, God,” Lily said, adding a whisper of awe in her tone. “Keilen Rivers.”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He leaned next to her. “Thought you’d let that fancy mainland school erased me from your memory. That’s a little ego crushing.”

“I remember you.” This time when she grazed his wrist, there was a slight tremble in her fingers, something she tried to control by brushing her long hair off her shoulder. “It hasn’t been that long.”

“No, it hasn’t.” His tone went soft, like there was something playing around in his mind that felt sweet, a memory he kept to himself, but then Lily had always been a little too hopeful, too stupid when it came to him. Keilen, for his part, didn’t share whatever it was he thought and leaned against the bar, gaze sharp as he watched her profile. “What…ah, what do you remember about me?”

Kiki cleared her throat, and Lily bit her bottom lip, realizing now was the time to deliver the blow. “I remember being scared to death of you.” That wasn’t a lie, she reminded herself and tried to affect more cool and calm than she had at the moment by moving a fingertip over the lip of her bottle before she drank. For a second, she thought the fake cool was working. Keilen watched the movement of her bottle, how she licked her bottom lip. “You were so…so damn big.” She forced a laugh, something she released with a breathless, easy sound and moved her fingers next to his arm on the bar. The surface was damp, and she flicked spilled water or beer or whatever it was from her fingernails. It was a distraction she hoped would give her a second to slow her heartbeat. “So scary.”

Keilen flexed his hand, as though he had to restrain himself from touching her. He swallowed and worked that jaw again. “Scary?”

She nodded, playing the part.

“I’m not scary.”

“You were.” She reverted just then, but kept her cool, letting an honest confession burst from her mouth as she fiddled with the damp label on her bottle. It was that label, not his face, that she stared at when she spoke. “I was petrified any time you came within ten feet of me.”

He nodded, just once, and there was curve along the corner of his mouth, as though she hadn’t been the first person to make that confession to him. But Keilen didn’t seem so concerned with the past, not just then, and he moved closer, his large arms gliding smoothly against the bar. His voice dipped low. “And do I scare you now, Lil?”

“No,” she said, voice low with a sultriness she wasn’t sure she pulled off. Internally she wished the earth would open and swallow her whole. Fifty bucks was fifty bucks, and Kiki was too damn smug, but that didn’t make this easier for her. Lily inhaled, swallowing away the thickness in her mouth. It was time to release the saucy shock. “Now…” She moved close enough that Keilen had to lean in to hear her confession. “Now you make my nipples hard.”

A few things happened at once: behind her, Kiki whispered a clear “holy shit,” and Kai, the cute bartender, joined in her friend’s disbelief with a loud, sharp laugh. Keilen, though, lost a bit of his cool, slipping as though someone had pulled the bar from underneath him and didn’t quite recover instantly. Lily stood straight, holding the confident, seductive smile for a silent count of five, and then she gave up, hoping her own laughter and easy expression would take the sting out of her little prank.

She moved a hand over her shoulder, waggling her fingers in Kiki’s direction. “Pay up, lady.”

“Damn.” She leaned over Lily glaring at Keilen. “You could have at least been cool.” She slapped the money into Lily’s waiting palm and made for the direction of the bathroom.

“That was…a bet?” he said, recovering from his small slip by waving Kai over to order a couple of shouts. His face was relaxed, but those impossibly black eyes kept flicking between Lily’s face and the bartender, as though he wasn’t quite sure he followed what had just happened between them.

“It was,” Lily said, pushing away Keilen’s cash and handing Kai a twenty. “Sorry.” She picked up one of the shots and offered it to Keilen. “The least I can do is pay for your shots.” It was a distraction, something to quell her nerves. They hadn’t left her, despite the teasing bet. She’d pulled one over on him but that didn’t mean it hadn’t taken a mammoth effort on Lily’s part.

“So,” he said, shooting back the vodka. “This is what you and your lolo friend do? Try to shock some poor bastard with…with…” He let the question drop off, head shaking as he brushed a hand over his face, rubbing his chin.

“Yes, I’m afraid so.” She downed her own drink, loving the warmth she felt and how the liquor relaxed her, especially since she was still stupid with nerves at just talking to Keilen. “But we also buy them a drink afterward. Well, the ones that don’t get all offended.” He nodded and the tightness around his eyes relaxed. Lily took the opportunity to order four more shots, paying again before Keilen could argue. “You’re not, are you?”

He nodded a thanks when she slid two shots in front of him. “I’m not what?”

Keilen tapped his small glass to hers when Lily offered it and they both drank again. “Offended,” Lily hissed out, the vodka burning her throat when she slammed the second shot down.

“I can’t speak for those mainland boys, but I’m made of stronger stuff.” Keilen took to leaning against the bar again, this time on one elbow and his face toward her as though he wanted to keep her attention. “Besides, that was hot, especially coming from you.”

For a second, Lily could only stare, mouth dipping open as Keilen’s features relaxed. She waited for his own laughter, some small cue that he was messing with her as payback, but none came. She could only manage to swallow, inhaling to steady her waning nerves as she watched the smile that was not a smile, that was its own small seduction.

“Why me specifically?”

“Because, Lil. You scared me too.” His mouth drew up on one side. “Back then.”

“I did?” Lily’s heartbeat quickened at his admission and it took effort to keep the tremble from her fingers.

He nodded and there was no tease in his expression. Keilen fanned his fingers though his hair, something she’d seen him do a dozen times in high school, and Lily was hit with the sweet smell of clean soap and the slightest hint of beer, both intoxicating to her.

“And…what about now?” she asked, swallowing to clear away the knot that had formed in her throat.

He waited a second, watching her with a slow gaze shifting across her face as though he wanted to make sure she saw the way he focused on her, how sincere each look was. “I’m not trying to win a bet.”

“Oh.”

No one was as smooth as Keilen Rivers. She’d seen it a hundred times when they were kids—the way he commanded attention, how a crowd could be controlled, could be mesmerized by the flick of his chin or the low, sweet hum of his voice. It had to be a family trait. Kona and Luka had behaved the same way. There was something written in their DNA that demanded attention, like a crowd was a plaything. Like their approval, was something they’d win without doing anything at all but smiling or laughing or just existing.

Girls in high school had wanted Keilen, Lily wasn’t alone in that arena, but Keilen had never been obvious or arrogant when he wanted someone in return. He didn’t have to be. That smile, the way it slid over his face, was like a sunset, slow, steady, but bright and warm. He’d been good at it then; he was a master now.

Lily suddenly found herself treated to that smile, but it was restrained, like he wanted her remembering what he could do with that one expression; like he wanted her to know he meant it only for her. Keilen exhaled, something that seemed like an afterthought, cool and unhurried, and before she realized he’d moved at all, he slipped his fingers down her shoulder, teasing her skin with a touch that was its own slow seduction.

“You still scare me, Lily but damn, that fear tastes sweet.”

He didn’t ask her to dance when the music slowed again. He showed no shyness, no awkward movements that leveled up her own nervousness. Keilen had a way of moving, casting a smile, narrowing his eyes that spoke louder than the drunken crowd. He moved, she followed, and somehow, she found herself on the dance floor, off to a corner where the visible moonlight through the open partition dipped into the blue, still water.

Half a step, then two more and there was the weight of Keilen’s large hand on the center of her back, guiding, directing her until she came to rest against his barrel chest, until those massive arms cradled her and the hot fan of his breath slipped down her neck.

The feel of him, the angle of his body, how it moved against hers, how they seemed to fit, to match, to be part of some puzzle she’d never known needed solving was fantasy made real—a hundred stupid wishes her teenage-self had spoken into the ether finally realized; breath sweet and intoxicating against her skin. He didn’t dance like her classmates in New Haven. They’d all been a bundle of jerks and gyrations, clumsy sways with the solitary agenda of insinuating an act they so eagerly tried to move Lily toward. They moved like boys—anxious, unpracticed. Keilen moved like a man—commanding, sure, and Lily wanted to stay with him like that, to see how far removed reality would be to the dreams and decadent fantasy she’d invented about him.

“You feel good…” He paused, moving a hand to her back, another turn and the smallest dip that had Lily looking up at him. “You feel good everywhere.”

Then the moment came. The one she’d imagined when she was daydreaming at fifteen, when Malini Wilson pulled Keilen to the corner of the lockers the last day of Lily’s sophomore year and took the kiss she had always wanted for herself. Back then, as Malini pressed herself against Keilen, as he returned that kiss, but not the desperate, needy gropes she worked over his body, Lily’s imagination recast Malini, replacing herself in the lead so that she tasted his tongue and the airy breath that fanned from his mouth.

Now there was no Malini Wilson. Now there wasn’t anyone at all—no noise, no crowd, no Kiki pouting on a barstool, shooting glares of contempt at Lily because she was fifty bucks light in her vacation fund.

Now there was only Keilen and the feel of his hands cupping Lily’s face. Now there were the small movements he made as he leaned closer. That large body moved her back, just a step that stopped their dance and Lily held her breath, watched how careful he was, how sure, watched in disbelief as that beautiful man inched closer and finally settled his lips against hers.

She had kissed boys before; sweet kisses that had lingered, slow brushes of lips and tongues that were divine. None of them lasted long in her memory. None of them had the taste and power and everlasting promise that Keilen gave her then. None shot splendid shivers down her spine or tightened the muscles in her stomach. Keilen’s did. Ten-fold. Twenty.

“You taste better, Lil. Much better than I imagined…” he said against her mouth, the only finish to that sentence was the low exhale that moved the hair from her forehead. He still held her face, watched her with a patient expression that didn’t match the wild, eager flicker that shot in his eyes or had his bottom lip pulsing. “You’re delicious.” And then there came a look in those maniac eyes, like there was something Keilen needed to say but couldn’t manage the words he wanted to get out.

He stopped dancing altogether when Lily touched his cheek, a careful movement that she delivered slowly. It was a question decades in the making: what did his dark, beautiful skin feel like? Was it as rich as it looked? How many brown freckles ran over his nose and along his cheeks? She touched them, fingering each mark with the tips of her nails. Her movements seemed to mesmerize Keilen. The breath in Lily’s lungs stilled.

“My daydreams, the ones where I kissed you, were nothing like the real thing.” She wasn’t even sure he’d heard her. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to hear everything she said.

“Is that bad?” Keilen grinned, seeming to like the attention Lily gave him and she guessed what she thought was carved into her features, every internal roar of glee splintered across her open expression.

“Not even a little.”

Then he took her mouth again, stealing her breath, controlling her body like he’d worked some sort of spell on her, moving, shifting until they were against the patio railing, so far from the crowd that the music was a low thump and not the blaring rumble it had been all night.

Behind Keilen, Lily spotted Kiki, laughing at something Kai said, twirling her hair between her fingers like a high schooler angling for a homecoming date. Lily knew her friend in her element. She’d be fine with Kai, working her game. 

“We could dance some more,” Keilen said, voice quiet, forced with a restraint that didn’t seem to match the eager way he pulled on her waist. “Whatever you want…”

What she wanted would likely shock him. Thoughts became a flash of colors; body parts and filthy acts that both shamed and thrilled her. But it would be no use. Following him away from this bar, being alone with him would only lead to an awkward phone call to her brother and a walk of shame the entire town would hear about in the morning.

She couldn’t do what she wanted, but God was it tempting.

“Or…” he went on, curling his fingers into the waist of her shorts, smirking again as he kissed her neck. “We could disappear.”

“Hmmm…” It was the only thing that would leave her mouth. The way Keilen held her, the sharp, warm nuzzle of his mouth, his teeth along her neck left her momentarily mute.

“I’ve been wanting to touch you, hold you, kiss you since that night at the McKinley rugby match.” His voice was awed now, the tone deep. “You remember that night?”

Of course Lily remembered. She’d only recalled the rescue he’d given her a million times. She’d replayed his touch, the strength of it with every waking moment since it’d happened. He’d been a year ahead of her. It had been the last time their paths crossed.

“You…you pulled me out of the way when Ricky Moore went for a try and nearly toppled me.” That kiss on her neck moved up, and Keilen pressed her earlobe between his lips as he hummed something that sounded like agreement. “Ah…God, you…” she tried, trembling at the attention he worked over her skin. “You saved my life and I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t…”

He laughed then and pulled back, fingering the loose hair that fell across her face with a breeze moved along the patio. “You wouldn’t let go of me.” Keilen’s gaze slipped over her face, across her forehead, then down to her lips, following the path of his touch as he moved his fingers. “I wanted to keep you calm. I wanted that scared frown gone from your face.” He licked his lips, making a decision and Lily held her breath. “I wanted to kiss you so bad then. I wanted to kiss you a hundred different ways.”

“I…can’t believe that.” Lily shook her head, stunned, distrustful of the confession and Keilen seemed to know her doubt.

He moved quick, pressing his forehead to hers, holding her neck, keeping her still, chest to chest, thighs to thighs as he spoke. “I could dance with you all night out here. I could kiss you in moonlight like a and tell you shit you’d never believe…if that’s what you want to hear.”

“I…I don’t think I do.”

He blinked, frowning as though something heavy kept him rooted to his spot, as though there was a warning blaring in his head and he couldn’t tell her where it came from. “What do you want?”

Lily thought of all the things she’d practiced saying to him over the years. She always sounded confident, smoother in those imaginings. So poised, so sure of herself that Keilen would be rendered useless and stupid. But she hadn’t anticipated him holding her so tight. She hadn’t thought what his body and warmth and touch would do to her. She hadn’t thought he’d want her too.

“I…I want there to be just you and me.” She shuddered, moving her fingers up to tug on his collar. “I want to skip the flirting and dancing and talking like we’re following some moral protocol that tells us to date and flirt before anything remotely…interesting happens.”

He closed his eyes, his words rushing out in a breath that had his head shaking. “I like where this is heading…”

“Two…two hours in this bar or two hours…alone and…”

“Naked?” She nodded and Keilen lost a little of his composure, releasing something akin to a growl. “Definitely like where this is going.”

She was ready to leave then. She could let him take her home. Desperation and lust had her reevaluating logic. It made her recalculate her actions and the consequences she didn’t want to think about just then. She could sneak away from Keilen’s bed before the sunrise and no one would see. Liam would be dead asleep. He’d been working on his fourth beer before she and Kiki left. He couldn’t handle more than that, and Ellen would never call her out for not coming home. No one ever had to know that Lily Campbell had returned to the island a debauched bed hopper.

“I...” Keilen stopped her with a kiss that was urgent and hot and mostly tongue. It rendered her a little dumb and she let herself get caught up in it. “I’m only here for a couple of weeks. I have to go back for finals and then…”

“And then you’re coming back, right?” The words vibrated against her collarbone, as he moved his fingers into her hair at the back of her head. “There’s something here. I think, maybe it’s the same thing that was there the night at McKinley.” He paused, pressing his lips together, as if he wasn’t sure how much he should say. “I didn’t…it wasn’t just me, was it?”

“No,” she said without hesitation. “It wasn’t just you.”

“So this, now…whatever it is…it won’t be a one-time thing. Not with this…whatever the hell it is between us.” He picked Lily up, settling her on the railing as he stood between her thighs. “Not when there’s a whole two weeks. School for me doesn’t start back up till January. I’ve got time. Two weeks, hell Lily, a lot can happen in two weeks…”

“Well…”

She was just thinking of how to get Kiki home. Lily even glanced at the bar, smile widening as Kiki pulled Kai near, lips dangerously close together. Her friend would be fine; of that, Lily had no doubt. She returned her attention to Keilen and his hands pressing against her, his mouth as it lit fire over her skin.

“Not just tonight.” He earned a nod from her with another kiss. When she didn’t answer, Keilen laughed, sounding a little delirious. “Am I gonna have to angle a promise from you?” He lowered his voice, hand held against her cheek. “I think I might be desperate enough for that.”

At the moment, she would have promised him the world. She’d happily hand over her firstborn and the title to her first luxury car when she got it. If only Keilen would keep touching her, keep holding her the way he was.

“Promise,” she said in a rush, the decision made for her as she returned his kiss, her body electric, ready for more of him…for all of him. Lily moved off the railing, stopping for only a minute with Keilen pressed against her as she approached Kiki, getting a guarantee from Kai that her friend would get a ride home safely.

They left the crowd, stopping again when Keilen whispered something in Kona’s ear and the big guy glanced down at her, smile inching over his face when he winked at her. Five seconds, it seemed to take to ignore the lingering eyes as they moved, fingers locked together as Keilen navigated the crowd.

“We’re…doing this,” he said, smile wide as they moved across the beach toward the parking lot. “Seriously?”

“Yeah…seriously.” Lily ignored how breathless she sounded, how eager and giddy she must have looked to him when they finally found his car and Keilen pressed her against the passenger door.

“And that promise?”

“I’ll keep it.” She tugged him close, grabbing his face between her hands to kiss him deep, ignoring the rush of her pulse and the drum of her heart. “I promise there will be more than tonight.”

“Good,” he said, moving them away from the black Impala to open the door. “There’s a lot of catching up to do, and I can’t—”

The screech of tires broke into whatever Keilen wanted to say. Liam’s neighbor, Randell called out to Lily as he stopped in the middle of the street. He hung out of the driver’s side, eyes wide, expression panicked. One look at him and all thoughts of promises and debauched potential behavior Lily might have wanted for herself and Keilen vanished.

It was the pale color of Randell’s face. It was the mad dash from the street to the parking lot he made, how he ignored the blaring horns behind him in his hurried jog toward Lily that let something loose inside her stomach; a heavy thing that made it impossible for her to move.

“Ku‘uipo you’ve got to come with me. It’s Liam.” Something twisted in her throat, something heavy that strangled her. Randell’s expression was terrified, his dark skin pale as he rushed his trembling fingers through his dark hair. “It’s…Liam and Ellen. Lil. It’s…it’s bad. It’s real bad.”

She didn’t listen as Keilen called after her. Lily didn’t think beyond the fear that ran through her veins like a virus and the grip of Randell’s fingers on her arm as she darted toward his car.

She forgot everything because the fear choked her. Because the impossible, desperate things that her imagination worked up in her mind were too painful, too horrible to believe. Even as Randell explained about the fire, about Zee not being there, about Liam and Ellen…she forgot.

The promises she made that night weren’t important. There were others, new ones spoken to the ether, flitting through hospital walls, across places and moments she could not see that she’d known were more important to keep. The ones she made that night, to the boy she’d watched from a distance, the same boy who’d saved her, who’d seemed eager to let her know he’d wanted her to. That promise would be left behind. It stayed in the parking lot with Keilen. It stayed behind because there was more she’d be made to stomach. Something thicker. Something that tasted nothing at all like the saltwater in the breeze or the promise of Keilen’s sweet kiss.