Chapter 10
CADE
Jess’ scent kept wafting through my nostrils, making me forget Tom, forget the pack, and just about forget my own name.
I wanted her naked again. Right now. I wanted her down on her knees, sucking me off.
Someone ought to put up an easel and paint her. Because, damn, she was fine. Her midnight-black hair flowed loose and wavy down to the middle of her back. Her face was pure of form and line, its classic beauty marred only by a whimsically upturned nose and the hint of stubbornness in her chin. She was lush and curvy. A gleaming gold belt that resembled a serpent was cinched around her waist, and she wore a bracelet of similar design high on her arm.
I couldn’t stop staring at her intent face, her full lips, her large, luminous eyes. Not to mention those generous tits and that tasty ass. My cock was so hard it was about to bust out of my jeans. One time only, she’d told me the other night. Fuck that.
Tom groaned, sending a stab of shame through me. Thoughts of fucking Jess had been distracting me ever since I’d gotten here. She didn’t seem to suffer from the same affliction. Jess was focused on her grandfather. Rightly so. Only a miserable, heartless, hormone-drenched wretch like me would be calculating my next move on Tom's granddaughter while Tom was lying here in front of me, dying.
He and I had been good friends, especially considering the age difference. There was something sweet and calm about Tom's personality that had given me an anchor during the hellish months after I’d lost my brother and my dad. Tom had been someone to talk to, someone to fret about, someone who was there to relieve the worst crush of responsibility after I’d taken over as head of the pack.
He was a man's man, a hunting partner, a fishing buddy. He'd understood my occasional desire for solitude; he'd never come too close nor demanded too much. He'd known and respected the boundaries of intimacy.
Women couldn't do that. At least not the ones I knew. They just couldn’t back off, leave you alone. They didn't seem to understand the basic premise of masculine friendship—you were there for your friend when he needed you. But you never pressured him or asked him to talk about shit that was private.
When a man was dying, he counted on his buddies to do whatever had to be done. I was willing. It’s a point of honor that you stand up for your friends. And especially for your pack brothers.
You also stand up for their granddaughters, if they need you.
Even if all they need from you is an orgasm.
Tom shifted in bed. He opened his eyes. "Jess?"
My throat ached when I saw Jess' face brighten. She was still hoping he was going to make it. Losing him was going to be tough on her.
"Love you, lassie," Tom whispered. His breathing was more labored. Jess must have noticed it, too, because the spark of hope in her eyes faded and tears sparkled behind her lashes.
"I love you, Grandpa," she said, taking a tight grip of his fragile fingers. I knew she was holding on to more than just his hands. She was trying to stay the flight of his soul.
Tom’s expression changed from peaceful to frantic. "Jess? Promise me."
"What, Grandpa? Promise you what?"
"That you'll abide by my wishes. That you won't—" he broke off to cough "—challenge my will."
"We won't need your will for a long time. Please keep hanging on."
Why should she challenge his will? I couldn't imagine that there would be much to challenge. Tom owned a ranch, some grazing lands, and hundreds of acres of rugged back country—some of which I’d hoped to acquire for myself since it adjoined my family’s property and would be good hunting grounds for the pack. But there wasn't much money. I knew this because Tom had hit me up for several substantial loans.
Which reminded me, I’d better remember to tear up the paperwork. I didn't want Jess to get stuck with repaying me. She would have little enough as it was.
"Everything I've done, I've done for you. You won't like it, but one day you’ll understand."
"I know that," She leaned over to kiss Tom’s brow. "You've been so good to me, always, and I love you very much."
"Promise you'll abide by my wishes as stated in my letter. That you won't challenge my will."
"Uh, what letter?"
He coughed, badly this time. When he could speak, he whispered, "Say it, Jess. Please."
Jess looked over at me with raised eyebrows, apparently seeking advice. I wished I could give it to her, but I had no clue what Tom was talking about. I shrugged my shoulders and showed her my hands, palms up.
"Jess?"
Leaning over, she kissed his sunken cheek. "I promise I'll abide by your wishes and I won't challenge your will," she stated in a firm, clear voice.
Tom sank back. He looked relieved. "You're a good girl. Always were.” His eyes wandered. "Is Derringer there? I need to talk to him, too."
I joined her by the side of the bed. "I'm here, Tom. Shoot."
"You, too, lad. Promise me."
"Sure. What?"
"The same."
"You want me to make sure everything's in order with your will? I can check with your lawyer to be certain your wishes are respected.”
Tom was shaking his head. "Promise me,” he said in a stronger voice. "You can make a vow, right? One you'll honor as a pack brother?"
I nodded, wondering what was up. Was the old man’s mind wandering?
"Swear you'll abide by the wishes stated in my letter. And you won't challenge my will."
"Tom, your will isn't my concern.”
"It is your concern," Tom insisted. "Promise."
"Okay," I said. Jess nodded, encouraging me. "I'll abide by your wishes. I won't challenge your will. You have my word as your pack brother and leader. And as your friend. Rest easy now, Tom. I'll take care of everything. And I'll watch out for your granddaughter, too, so don't worry about that."
He smiled and relaxed visibly. "Love you. Love you both."
It was as if the effort to extract the promises had been the last thing that kept him animated, and there was nothing further to be said or done. Closing his eyes, he nodded once and slipped into sleep.
Or what looked liked sleep.
Jess sensed it a moment before I did. She jerked forward, leaning over the bed. "Grandpa? Grandpa!"
Nothing. As the breath slowly left his lungs, Tom’s face settled imperceptibly into an expression of peacefulness so deep and pure that I was awed. I’d seen death too often to fear it, and I guessed it held no terror for Jess, either. Shifters lived close to nature, close to the earth. Like me, she probably regarded death as a natural process, part of the inevitable cycle of life.
Not that this made mortality any easier to accept. I saw her shudder and knew how fiercely she must resent death's power to separate her from the people she loved.
"He’s gone." She whispered the words as if that would make them less real.
I moved closer, allowing my hands to settle onto her shoulders. As soon as I touched her, she crumpled. I caught her, turned her, supported her, felt the mettle inside her gather and reform. She regained her balance but remained in my arms, shivering, the tears chasing each other down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Jess. He was a good man."
Her face was pressed against my neck; I could feel the warmth of her breath. "He gave me refuge, always. I loved him so much."
"He loved you, too." Refuge? What the fuck did that mean?
I stroked her shoulders and back, feeling the subtle musculature under her skin. She was strong. Her body was beautiful. I tried to ignore the stirring in my dick. Getting a hard-on by the deathbed of an old friend was not cool.
Somewhere an alarm was sounding—the cardiac monitor must have touched it off. I noted the commotion in the hallway, saw the hurried entrance of a doctor and a nurse. Not a damn thing they could do now.
We stood together, frozen in our sad embrace. She twitched, and I felt her mouth brush my throat. Fuck. My cock was rock hard now. Hard and hungry. I needed to stroke her, soothe her, slide my mouth all over her and drive my aching dick deep inside her. I’d been cheated of that the other night.
She moved against me, angling her hips in such a way that her pelvis was pressed right into mine. Shit, I couldn’t help myself. Before I could control my body, I was grinding up against her, pressing my dick into the cradle of her thighs, yearning to strip away the cloth that separated us. Aching to ram myself into her. I guess it was as much an expression of life and a defiance of death as anything else.
Her head tilted back and her eyes cleared long enough to show some scorn breaking through. With a jerk, she pulled free. For a moment, I thought she was going to scream at me for my crudeness. I almost wanted her to. Face it: I was crude. Rough, unpolished, and so sex obsessed that I wanted to throw her down and fuck her right next to her grandfather’s body.
It’s a wolf thing, I tried to tell myself.
That was the usual excuse for bad behavior. Blame it on the beast within.
Jess didn’t yell at me, though. She turned back to the bed and stroked Tom’s chiseled face. Ignoring the doctors and nurses who were crowding around, she bent and touched her lips to his closed eyes. "Goodbye. I love you.”
If I’d been capable of embarrassment, I’d probably have felt it. But hell, I’d done a lot worse shit in my life than getting an inappropriate hard-on.
Under my breath I said again, "I'll watch out for her, Tom, so don’t you have any worries about that, buddy.”
‘Course I’d fuck her while watching out for her. Bring her into the pack, where she’d be under my protection and at my beck and call, whenever I wanted her.
She had no mate and no other male relatives, now that Tom was gone. I would just have to take her under my wing.