Chapter 15

Timothy sat in the diner looking at his hands. They were wrinkled and sore from washing dishes all day. He gently massaged them and tried not to think too hard about who he was waiting for.

He wasn’t exactly dreading this meeting but he wasn’t looking forward to it either. To be perfectly honest wasn’t expecting much. This was Derek after all. Sure, he had texted out of the blue and asked to try and explain himself. That didn’t mean he was suddenly interested in a relationship. In all likelihood, the alpha just wanted to make sure that their friendship was still intact.

Unfortunately, Timothy wasn’t sure. Their friendship meant a lot to him but, after what had happened between them, he didn’t see how they could go back to just being friends. What they did, sleeping together, had woken something within him. Feelings that he hadn’t expected.

He knew that he cared about Derek. He knew that he valued their friendship. Yet, now he also knew that his feelings ran deeper. Just what exactly they were he wasn’t certain.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” said Derek as he approached the booth where Timothy sat. “The last run took longer than expected. There was this guy with this massive steamer trunk. It took three of us to get it up on the roof of the van and strap it down.” Derek chuckled as he slid into the booth across from Timothy. “I thought I was gonna break my back trying to get it down from there.”

Timothy smiled politely but said nothing.

Derek coughed to clear his throat and folded his hands on the table in front of him. He chewed his lip for a moment before speaking.

“Look, Tim…I shouldn’t have left this morning. I know it was a shitty thing to do. I kind of freaked out.” Derek was actively avoiding Timothy’s gaze.

“Yeah, it was.” Timothy wasn’t going to go easy on him. As much as he tried to tell himself not to be angry at Derek he couldn’t help it. He should have known better than to expect anything more from the alpha, but that didn’t change the fact that it still hurt.

“The thing is, I didn’t know what to do,” Derek said. “I…I’ve never had a relationship that lasted very long. They always fell apart for one reason or another. Sure, it enhanced my reputation as a player but I wasn’t always trying to push them away. For some of them, I don’t know why they failed.

“I used to blame myself. I used to think that I just wasn’t meant for lasting relationships. So I embraced it. The thing is, Tim, the reason I ran away this morning is because I was afraid.”

Timothy frowned and folded his hands in his lap. He had thought he had known what to expect from Derek during this exchange but he was already being thrown for a loop. He did his best to hide his uncertainty about the situation. It was times like these that he needed to guard himself against further disappointment. No matter what he might have hoped.

Derek slowly looked up at Timothy. “I was afraid,” he repeated, “because, I didn’t want to pull you into a relationship that would just leave you with a broken heart. The truth is, I care about you. I care about you a lot. I used to think it was just lust. That I kept pursuing you because you kept pushing me away. Seeing you again after all these years made me realize that there was more to it than that. It wasn’t until last night that I realized just how much more.

“It wasn’t until I laid there watching you sleep that I realized I wanted to stay with you. I wanted to wake up and see your sleeping face every morning for the rest of my life. And that scared me.”

“Why did it scare you?” asked Timothy despite himself. He couldn’t help it. His heart felt like someone was squeezing it tightly. There was a fluttering sensation in his stomach and his mouth was dry.

What was Derek saying? All of this sweetness, these words, it couldn’t be real. Could it? Whatever else he may be, Derek had never been a liar. Timothy wanted to believe him but part of him was still scared.

“Because you’ve seen firsthand the kind of chaos I bring to relationships. How many omegas did I date while we were in college? How many more did I just sleep with? I’m a walking disaster. When it comes to love I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. How can I subject you to that?” Derek spread his hands in front of him and looked exasperated.

“What you’re saying is true. I have seen it,” said Timothy. He looked away momentarily and tried to formulate his thoughts. All he knew was what he was feeling. “The thing is, you’re not the same person you were back then. I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together these last few days, but I’ve seen you. You’ve been…different.”

Derek pulled his brows together in a frown. “What are you talking about? I’ve just been trying to survive. Ever since my parents kicked me out and cut me off, I’ve been treading water.”

“And it’s clearly changed you.” Timothy sat up straight. He felt like he was about to explode with emotion. His eyes glistened as he continued speaking. “You’re more genuine now. I haven’t seen as much of that false bravado that you used to project. You’ve been working with Tony and, despite what happened last night, you were out there again today. Your persistence surprised me. I was upset to see you gone this morning, but I told myself it was just your nature. The thing is I don’t think it would’ve bothered me as much if it had happened when we were still in college. It caught me off guard because I hadn’t expected it. You’ve changed that much.”

Derek looked out the window to their left. It was dark outside and it had begun to snow again. The mountain that rose behind the Lodge was silhouetted against the sky.

Inside, the diner was quiet. It was getting ready to shut down for the evening. A few guests remained finishing up their dinner. Mostly, it was just staff clearing tables and sweeping floors.

“I don’t feel like I’ve changed. I feel like the same person I was.” Derek’s voice was soft as he spoke. He looked back at Timothy with a gentle smile on his lips. “The only thing that’s really different is that I’ve realized I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. Even when I thought I was in love in the past it didn’t feel like this. So, either that means I’ve never been in love before or what I feel for you is on a completely different level.”

His words sent a tingle down Timothy’s spine. Was that a confession of love? Or something more? What response was appropriate here?

For that matter how did Timothy feel about Derek? He cared about him and he knew it was more than just friendship. Were his feelings as deep as Derek claimed his to be? It was confusing and yet it was also clarifying. Through the murk and fog in his head one thing emerged.

“Derek, I care about you a great deal. I think…I think that after last night, when we were connected, I realized just how much I cared. I’ve had all day to think about it.” Timothy reached across the table and took Derek’s hands in his own. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose our friendship. Yet, I’m starting to feel like maybe we’ve got something more than that. I want to try and find out what this is.”

“I do too.” Derek squeezed Timothy’s hand gently.

“Why don’t we go back to my place and I’ll make you something for dinner?” Timothy offered him a reassuring smile. He felt almost giddy at the prospect.

“I’d like that,” said Derek.

“Just promise me one thing,” said Timothy, as he climbed out of the booth.

“What’s that?”

“Don’t leave without saying anything this time.”

“Never.”

***

Timothy enjoyed cooking. It had always been something of a release for him. He poured all of his emotions into his food. Back when he was still in college his roommates had enjoyed a wide variety of dishes. Since he’d gotten home he’d subsisted almost entirely on food from the diner and the sandwich shop. The selection in his cupboard wasn’t very wide but he made do.

When he presented the meal, Derek seemed genuinely excited by what was on his plate.

“Did you know that Tony lives almost entirely on ramen?” Derek chuckled as he dug into his food.

“You’re joking. Please tell me you’re joking.” Timothy sighed and shook his head as he sat down at the table across from the alpha. “He knows how to cook. We all do. It was something our mom insisted on all of us learning.”

“Maybe he just likes the taste?”

“I mean, if it was real ramen then maybe, but I’m willing to bet it’s just those dried, packaged squares.” Timothy took several bites of food before continuing. “Tony has always been the laziest of us. If it takes more than just a few minutes, it’s too long.”

“He’s not really lazy, I’ve seen him spend crazy amounts of energy on stuff.” Derek shrugged before taking another bite.

“Maybe when it comes to engines or something like that, but with other stuff, he’d rather not,” Timothy insisted. He had been gone a long time but, from what he’d seen, his siblings were mostly the same. The only one that had really changed was Andrew.

“I really appreciate this,” said Derek after a moment. He looked up and met Timothy’s gaze. There was a sparkle in his eye. “I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect when I texted you. I figured you were more likely to turn me down.”

“I thought about it,” admitted Timothy. He set his fork down and leaned back in his chair. “But like I said earlier, I valued our friendship. If there was any chance of saving it I wanted to try. So, I agreed to talk with you.”

“I didn’t realize before that our friendship meant that much to you. I knew what it meant to me but I was never sure if you felt the same way. I hoped, but I wasn’t sure.” Derek looked away as he spoke.

“Of course it does, we’ve been through a lot together. I didn’t want to just give all that up. And if you had just stuck around and talked to me you would’ve found that out a lot sooner.” Timothy grinned and reached across the table to take Derek’s hand in his own.

Derek looked back at him and smiled. His expression was much more subdued than Timothy had been expecting. “I’m sorry,” he said shaking his head. “I…I think one of my biggest failings is that I always assume the worst of people. Or I assume that they assume the worst of me.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to get over that.” Timothy chuckled and squeezed Derek’s hand reassuringly.

The rest of their conversation continued pleasantly. They didn’t talk about much of anything in particular but the fact that they were talking at all was a big change from that morning.

As they finished their meal Derek insisted on helping with the dishes. Something for which Timothy was considerably grateful.

Timothy smiled as he watched the alpha scrub plates and put them in the dishwasher. He wasn’t sure why but seeing Derek in a domestic role tickled something within him. It was more than just happiness. It was satisfaction, contentment.

Before Timothy realized what he was doing he had approached and laid a hand on Derek’s back. The alpha slowly turned and looked at him. There was a silent understanding in their eyes.

Derek leaned down and brushed his lips against Timothy’s in a hesitant kiss.

The omega responded by sliding his arms around Derek’s torso and pulling him closer. Their kiss deepened as their lips opened to one another and their tongues entwined in an eager dance.

Unlike last time, however, the kiss was fueled by something more. It wasn’t just a need for connection or lust that made them seek the warmth of one another’s arms. It was the desire to explore the feelings they had discovered for one another. To push the boundaries of their past relationship and see what lay beyond.

Derek wrapped his arms around Timothy and lifted the omega onto the counter. Timothy responded by wrapping his legs around Derek and kissing him even more deeply. The nearness, the intimacy, was almost intoxicating.

Timothy could feel his skin begin to flush. His heart pounded in his chest and ached with desire. He wanted Derek but not just for tonight. He wanted him forever.

That realization made Timothy’s entire body tingle and his dick twitched in anticipation. Memories of their previous encounter were dull by comparison.

Their lips parted for an instant. Just long enough for them to peel off their shirts before returning to one another’s embrace. The warmth, the heat, of each other’s skin sent goosebumps prickling across their arms. They panted for breath between each kiss but never slowed their pace.

Timothy’s hands roved across Derek. He pressed his fingers into every curve and feature of his lover’s body. After tonight he knew that this alpha would be his.

A few more feverish minutes of kissing passed before Derek began to tug at the buttons on Timothy’s jeans. The alpha seemed eager to move this on to the next phase and Timothy was happy to oblige him.

He slid off the counter and quickly removed his pants and underwear exposing himself to the alpha’s hungry gaze. Timothy found himself lifted into Derek’s arms, his naked body pressed against the alpha’s chest. Hungry kisses trailed across his neck and he could feel his erection growing against Derek’s torso.

“Put me down,” Timothy laughed as he struggled in Derek’s arms. “We’re never going to get anywhere like this.”

“You just look so delicious. I want to kiss you everywhere.” Derek reluctantly lowered Timothy to the ground once more.

“You can do that, just not right this second,” Timothy reassured him. As soon as he was safely on the ground once more he took hold of Derek’s pants and freed him from them.

“But first,” Timothy grinned up at Derek, “I want to do something for you.”

Before Derek could reply Timothy dropped to his knees in front of the alpha. He eagerly took hold of the alpha’s stiffening cock and slipped it into his mouth. The warmth, the flavor, the distant scent of body wash all combined into a heady mix that made Timothy’s mouth water.

He plied the alpha’s cock with attention, sucking and stroking with glee.

Every motion, every suckle, elicited a moan or twitch in response from Derek.

“Tim, Tim, please slow down,” begged Derek laying his hands on Timothy’s shoulders. “I won’t last long you keep that up.”

Timothy paused and looked up at Derek. “Did you have something else in mind?”

“Of course.”