CHAPTER 22
Thank God I didn’t let Sydney come to the airport. It’s a nightmare, especially without Jane. I’m going to have to start bringing my own bodyguards with me. The media is just so much more aggressive than they used to be.
“Move!” The airport security guard yells at the paparazzi that swarm around me like flies to a carcass.
I’m thankful for his willingness to help me, but he’s not very effective. A horde of men with massive cameras who are trying to play twenty questions with me as they push and shove each other, aren’t receptive to listening to random security guards.
“Andrew! How’s filming going!”
“Any ladies Andrew? Or are you still single?”
“What’s it like working with Zane McNamara?”
“We heard you were just in the Caribbean, is that true?”
“Who were you with on vacation, Andrew?”
Jesus Christ! How do they find this shit out?
I spot Bruce at the curb, holding open the back door to the Town Car and jump in. He took an earlier flight while I finished my scenes so he could get the car and meet me here.
“Hey Bruce.” I jump in and he pulls away from the shouting paparazzi.
I fish out my cellphone and shoot Sydney a quick text.
Me <In the car. Headed home. Will be over after.>
I’m about to make a call when my phone beeps back.
Sydney <Can’t wait! xo>
I grin like an idiot. Then I remember the call I need to make and scowl as I pull up the contact and push send.
“Drew! What’s up?” Rhys, my PR director, says.
“Rhys, you know I don’t pay attention to any of that bullshit in the tabloids.” I cut right to the chase.
“Yes,” he replies hesitantly, guessing correctly that he’s not going to like this conversation.
“Has there been anything about my St. Bart’s vacation anywhere?”
Silence.
If that’s not a yes then I don’t know what is.
“How did they find out?” I growl, pissed that there might be a picture of Sydney out there.
“I have no idea. Someone saw you on St. Bart’s or someone at the airport leaked your flight plan.”
“Did they call for a comment?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck, Rhys! Stop with the short answers and give me the fucking story!” I snap.
“Alright. The day after you returned I got a call from a tabloid wanting to know if you had been on vacation on St. Bart’s. There were no other specifics and the article I saw had no photos with it. It was just a bunch of speculation as to where you stayed and what you did. No first-hand accounts.”
“No photos?” I ask in disbelief.
“None.”
“Thank God,” I murmur more to myself than to Rhys.
“Is there a reason you care about this specific article?” Damn. Rhys knows me too well.
“No,” I lie. “Just curious.”
“Okay, well if you need anything else just call. Don’t forget that the premiere for A Soldier’s Burden has been scheduled for March 24th in L.A.”
“Got it. Talk to you later.”
I lean back on the leather seat and rub my face with my hands. How am I going to explain another trip to L.A. to Sydney? Or better yet, how can I get her to get over her shit and go with me?
A laugh tears from my throat. Dozens of women have hounded me to take them to an event. Reporters question me about my solo appearance on each and every red carpet I walk. I’ve been dubbed the ‘Ultimate Bachelor’ multiple times and I’ve never wanted any of the shit that comes with dating someone publically.
I finally find a woman I want to bring with me to a premiere, to show off to everyone, to claim as mine, and she would rather jump off of a cliff than go with me.
Fuckin’ irony.
Thirty minutes later and Sydney’s front door flies open, her beautiful, but too skinny face smiling at me like she hasn’t seen me in months. God, she’s so gorgeous it hurts.
I step into her loft and throw down my bag, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her firmly against me. “I missed you,” I murmur into her hair as she clutches me back just as tight. The iron band that had been wrapped around my chest for the last week and a half has finally been loosened and I can breathe again.
“Me too,” she says, tipping her head up to see my face.
Having her pressed into me sends a welcome rush of pleasure through my body, flooding my mind with every lustful thought I’ve had over the last ten days. Uninhibited, I lower my mouth to hers and greedily capture her soft lips, sliding my tongue along the seam until she opens to me. When she does, it’s as if a tiny spark within her ignites into a roaring blaze of passion. She fists my hair and moans, fitting her lithe body around mine sensually.
I reach around and lift her by her ass, positioning her right over my hard cock as she winds her legs around my waist and locks her ankles behind me. Our mouths stay connected as I carry her into the dark bedroom and deposit her on one of the chairs by the windows.
“Why are you stopping?” she complains as I pull away from her grasp.
“Because I need to be inside you, now,” I rasp, beginning to shed my clothes as quickly as I can. “Strip.”
I see her eyes widen a fraction, then darken with desire as my words sink in. Sydney gets up and stands in front of me as she begins hurriedly removing her clothes.
By the time we’re both naked, my control is hanging by a thread, ready to snap at any second. I have to rein myself in, or this will be over before we’ve begun. I grab Sydney and push her against the wall of windows that spans the back of her room.
“Drew,” she moans, her eyelids half closed, heavy with desire.
“Are you ready for me?” I ask, sliding a hand down between her legs and skimming a finger along her needy slit. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
“Take me Drew,” she pants as she runs her hands down my chest and curls one around my throbbing cock.
“God Syd, I missed you so much.” I rip open a condom and quickly roll it down my length.
Eyes roaming up and down her naked body, I step forward, pressing her against the windows and lift one of her legs, hooking it around my waist. Not wasting a single second, I position myself at her damp entrance and stare into her eyes as I roughly push into her tight heat.
“Jesus,” I whisper as her wet depths surround me and pull me in. Sydney lets out a soft sound that’s half-sigh half-moan, her warm breath tickling my ear.
I scrabble to grab behind her other knee, desperately needing to be closer to her. Finally finding where I’m reaching for, I yank on it and lift her up, pressing her harder against the window as she clings to me. Sydney licks her lips and closes her eyes, waiting for me, her breath held in anticipation.
When I start to move, the outside world ceases to exist. Sydney’s eyes fly open and meet mine, our gazes are locked together as I thrust up into her, hard. Each snap of my hips shoves her further and further up the glass, her skin squeaking against the window, drawing a low moan from the back of her throat.
Unable to go slow, our pace is frenzied, the pleasure building quickly from the intensity and from our time apart.
Bending my mouth to her ear, I speak to her, each word falling from my lips in rhythm with the movement of my hips. “I. Missed. You. So. Fucking. Much. You’re mine Sydney. Only mine.”
She closes her eyes and lets the sensation take over. Her swollen lips part and her pink tongue darts out to lick them again, driving me crazy, making me want to devour her mouth.
“Say it!” I demand. Her eyes fly open and lock with mine again. “Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours Drew.”
“Fuck yes you are. No one else Sydney.”
I crush my lips to hers and savor the taste of her sweet mouth. I can feel the tightening of her pussy around my cock and know that she’s close. Shoving my hand between us, I circle my thumb over her clit and she comes apart, screaming and convulsing as she shatters.
“That’s right baby, come for me,” I grunt as I slam into her a few more times before the overpowering pleasure rushes through my body and gathers at the base of my spine, begging me to release everything I have into her willing pussy.
I grit my teeth and force myself to pull out, watching Sydney’s eyes widen as she begins to protest the loss. “Turn around,” I growl, lowering her feet to the floor and spinning her quickly so her front is crushed against the glass.
Sydney slams her palms down on the window one at either side of her head and turns so her cheek is pressed against the glass. “God Drew, yes!” she cries when I forcefully enter her from behind.
“Jesus, I love fucking you,” I snarl. She whimpers and pushes her ass out, arching her back sinfully in a silent invitation. The temptation to manhandle her proves to be too much for me to ignore, especially when she’s all but asking for it. I reach up and wrap her long hair around one hand and tug so her head bows back until it rests on my chest. Her long, slender neck is exposed, the creamy skin calling like a beacon in the night. I lick and taste and bite at the sinuous flesh, never slowing the furious thrusts up into her tight pussy.
Sydney begins wailing, a primitive sound that I don’t think she realizes she’s making. Her entire body shudders, and she lets out a stream of incoherent words as she comes around my cock again.
The sounds, the scent of her arousal, her perfect response to my rough handling prove to be too much for me. The pleasure explodes from my aching balls, shooting up through my spine into an orgasm so strong that I can’t stop thrusting into her, over and over until the blissful sensation subsides.
When I finally am able to stop, the only sound in the room is our heavy breathing. I release her hair and drop my head onto her shoulder, trailing small kisses back and forth over her sensitive skin, overwhelmed by how much I feel for this amazing girl. Gently, I pick her up and carry her over to the bed and lay her down, climbing in next to her and pulling the covers over us.
Sydney snuggles right into me, her back to my front. I wrap an arm around her small shoulders and hold her against me all night.
Without a doubt I fucking love this girl.
“Sydney,” I whisper softly.
“Mmmmm.”
Not much of an answer, but after spending most of last night in bed and only half of that time asleep, she’s exhausted.
I chuckle. “I have to run home for an hour or two to do some work. I’ll be back after?”
Her eyes open a fraction and I see a small smile on her lips. “Where are you going?” She shifts a little to push against me and frowns when she realizes I’m no longer in bed.
Clearly, she wasn’t awake when I just told her where I was going. Sydney is so adorable all disheveled and half asleep, her long hair tangled around her. I grin, “I have to run to my place for an hour to do a little work. Plus I forgot a few things in my hurry to get here,” I say, feeling shitty about lying to her. “Bruce is waiting for me babe, I gotta go. I’ll be right back, you just sleep.”
“Okay,” she murmurs, already slipping back into deep sleep.
I brush my lips across her lightly freckled cheek and head out on an errand that may turn out to be a huge mistake. As I hustle across the busy sidewalk in front of Sydney’s building and climb into the car, I realize that she’s left me little choice in this matter. We can’t continue like this, with these secrets between us, and I can’t tell her about me until I know why she’s so freaked out by fame. I don’t want to make that leap of faith when it could cost me everything…it could cost me Sydney.
“We’re here,” Bruce says when he stops the car in front of the Village Coffee Bar.
“Great, you can go. I’ll walk back to Sydney’s.”
Bruce’s eyebrow quirks up in the rearview mirror. “Are you sure?” He puts and arm around the passenger seat and turns to face me, a questioning expression on his face.
It’s a busy Friday morning in New York and the streets are packed. He’s worried about me walking down the sidewalk alone.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” I get out and slam the door. I’ll most likely need the cold air to clear my head before I see Sydney again, so it’s better if I walk back even if it means getting accosted by overeager fans.
Not wanting to invite trouble, I tug my hat down, pull up my scarf, and head inside. I have a moment of déjà vu remembering the first time I came here. The day that changed my life. The scent of cinnamon and coffee fills the space and the warm air is inviting.
Almost immediately, I spot Leah wiping down a table and walk towards her. I have no idea what Sydney’s best friend thinks of me. All I know is that she hasn’t told Sydney anything about me and for that I’ll be forever grateful to the perky little blonde. But she might consider me to be a huge douchbag for deceiving the friend that she thinks of as a sister.
“Leah.”
“Shit!” she yelps, jerking upright and dropping her cloth rag. “You scared me.” Her sharp eyes look me up and down as she clutches her chest in surprise. “Nice disguise,” she says sarcastically, snatching the rag back up from the table and shoving it in her back pocket.
“Can we talk for a few minutes?”
I feel like an idiot. I’m standing in a busy coffee shop begging my girlfriend’s best friend to have a heart to heart with me. My man card has almost certainly been revoked.
Her sharp eyes narrow at me, as if contemplating my offer. “It’s about time,” she says, catching me completely off guard. She must notice the shock on my face, because she smirks and rubs it in, “Yeah, I’ve been waiting for you to corner me.”
Who is this chick?
“Let’s go to the back, it’s more private.” She spins on her heel and goes through a door behind the counter. I follow her through a clean, quiet kitchen area and into a small office. Leah shuts the office door and sits in the chair behind a cluttered desk.
“Sit.” She gestures to another chair. “What’s with the look on your face?” she asks as I unwind the scarf from my neck. It’s hot as hell in here.
“What look?” Not many people, especially women, can or will speak to me so bluntly. It’s actually very refreshing to find out that Sydney’s best friend is completely unimpressed by my fame.
She tilts her head to the side and smiles knowingly. “The look that says you’re surprised that I expected you to eventually come to see me.”
“You’re right, I am surprised. So if you’ve been expecting me, let’s not waste time. Why did you think I’d turn up here?”
Leah smirks again, loving the fact that she has the upper hand here. “Oh no, I don’t think so. You want something from me, you spill first.”
I smirk back in admiration. This girl has balls. I’m glad she’s the one looking out for Sydney.
“Alright.” I lean forward, my elbows on my knees, and rub my face with my hands. “I have no idea how much Sydney’s told you about us but I’m guessing it isn’t much.”
I look up and see Leah nod. “You would be correct, but I know a little. Continue.”
Damn, she’s tough and it makes me smile. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”
“Why should I?” she smiles back. “This is my best friend you’re here to discuss, if you want easy then go find someone I don’t give a shit about.”
I can’t help but grin. Leah’s protectiveness of Sydney is right on par with mine even if we could possibly be on opposing sides. I admire it.
Lean shifts in her chair and pushes some papers aside so she can lean her elbows on the messy desk. “Oh, and your lady-killing looks won’t help you here, so don’t bother trying to flatter me with your movie-star smile.”
“I’m not trying to flatter you, I’m impressed with you.”
Now it’s her turn to look surprised. Good.
“Not many people would defend their friend against me,” I continue. “In fact, most people would toss their friend under a bus then climb over their dead body to get a piece of the spotlight. Trust me, friends like you are rare. I’m happy that Sydney has you.”
Leah thinks about what I said for a moment. “Well, thanks. Now, cut the bullshit and start talking.”
“Can I ask you something first?”
“Sure, but you may not get an answer.”
“Fair enough. Why haven’t you told Sydney who I am?”
Again, she carefully thinks through her response before speaking. “Because Sydney doesn’t connect with a lot of people. Actually, she doesn’t connect with anyone. Ever. But I could tell she did with you. In fact, you’re her first relationship.”
I’m shocked at this knowledge, but it also makes sense. Sydney doesn’t get close to people easily. It would be a challenge for anyone to get through those thick walls she has around her.
“And how would Sydney knowing who I am change that?”
Leah glares at me. “I’m not going to give up her secrets, Drew, if that’s why you’re here.” She says my name harshly, probably at the fact that I don’t go by Andrew.
I take my hat off and run my hands through my hair in frustration, getting more and more upset as I formulate an argument that might get Leah to explain this shit to me.
“Listen, I don’t know how else to say this. She won’t let me in. I cahnt stahnd hiding this from her! I want her to know me, but will she leave me if I tell her?” Fuck, my accent is coming out.
“I don’t think so,” Leah says slowly. “She’s incredibly damaged, Drew.” She flicks her eyes up to mine. “If she hears it from anyone else or finds out some other way, she won’t trust you and yes, she’ll most likely freak out.”
“If I could just know why…” I begin.
“I’m not telling you that!” Leah snaps.
I grit my teeth in annoyance. “I fuckin’ love her Leah! I cahnt tell her and have her leave me! I refuse to lose her to something that I don’t even fuckin’ understahnd!” I yell. “Jesus.” I stand up and pace the tiny office, yanking off my heavy winter coat and throwing it on the chair.
Leah stands and comes around the desk, stopping me with a hand on my arm. “Listen, I understand your position, I do. And I get that you love her,” she says sympathetically. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been encouraging her to tell you about her past.”
I look down at her warily, this tiny little female, one of the few people who has the balls to stand up to me, let alone get this close to me when I’m angry.
“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I think she loves you. Possibly even enough to stick around and face her demons, but I’m telling you that when she finds about your identity, it has to come from you.”
“Just tell me this.” I squeeze my hands into tight fists, “What’s the deal with that asshat Reynolds? Is he after her?” I can barely contain my rage.
Leah flinches and takes a step back, finally having the sense to be afraid of the explosive temper that I’m capable of. “No Drew, I’ve never seen anything like that. Hell, I used to encourage her to…” Leah’s rambling stops dead when she sees my face as she discusses pushing Sydney into Adam Reynolds’ slimy arms.
She holds her hands up in a gesture meant to calm me down. “Drew, she was never interested in him. Let it go.”
I exhale and attempt to shake off the rage and frustration I feel building up inside me. “I guess I should go.” And I really need to fucking punch something so I don’t need to be here right now.
“Hey, I’ll drop by tomorrow with coffee,” Leah offers lamely. She turns around and scribbles something down on a scrap of paper before handing it to me. “Here’s my number, just in case you can’t reach Sydney.” She shrugs. “It’s good to have a friend.”
I can only manage a small smile. “Sure, and thanks.”
I pocket her number and put my ‘disguise’ back on so I can head out into the crowd on Bleecker Street. My only options appear to tell Sydney and hope she doesn’t flip out, or to wait for her to decide to explain her fucked up past to me and still hope she doesn’t flip out when I tell her about myself.
Two pretty crappy options.
Except for trying to get Sydney to hook up with that asshole Adam Reynolds, Leah seems to be on my side. I’m grateful that she thinks I’m good enough for Sydney, otherwise I’d be fucked.
“Andrew!” I hear a woman yell.
I turn around instinctively at the sound. Shit!
“It is you. Oh my God! I thought so!” The woman and her friend are hyperventilating in front of me. I guess my disguise isn’t as good as I thought.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I say cryptically as I try to get away.
“Holy shit!”
“That’s Andrew Forrester!”
Within seconds, there’s a good-sized crowd circling around me and I can’t walk away without running into someone.
“Now’s really not a great time,” I try to explain.
“Just one picture for us! Please!”
“My sister is never gonna believe this!”
“You’re way hotter in real life, except that hat. Ewwww!”
I clench my teeth and try to calm down. I can hear Quentin, my agent, lecturing me about situations like this. “These are the people who made you a star. They can take it away at any moment.”
He’s right of course, but that doesn’t mean that people own every second of my life. Exhaling, I put on my Andrew Forrester mask and smile for the group of people that have gathered around me. I need a way to escape without pissing everyone off.
“Hi, I really am in a hurry, so I can’t take individual pictures with all of you. I’d be happy to let you snap a few right now if you like.” A compromise is always a good idea. People would rather get something than nothing.
There’s a flurry of activity as people pull out their camera phones and aim them at me. I feel like a complete idiot smiling on the sidewalk in the West Village in my ratty Red Sox hat and winter scarf, but if it will get me back to Sydney then I’ll do whatever it takes.
After a few dozen flashes go off I decide that they’ve gotten enough pictures. “Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it,” I tell the crowd.
I shake a few of the hands that are closest to me and rush down to the curb to hail a cab. I’m only going a few blocks, but I don’t want anyone following me on foot back to Sydney’s and finding out where she lives. I’ve had crazy fuckers trail me home and camp outside my house before. There’s no way I’m bringing that shit to Sydney’s front door. So much for my walk to clear my head.
“Syd?” I call out when she doesn’t answer the door.
Fuck, I should get a key. What if something happened? What if she fell in the shower or hurt herself? I pound louder on the door.
“Sydney!”
After an eternity she finally answers. She’s wearing tight little pants and a sports bra, her ear buds thrown over the back of her neck.
“Sorry, I had music on. Were you out here long?” She’s looking up at me with her big blue eyes and flushed cheeks.
“Jesus Syd, you scared the shit outta me,” I tell her as I close the door behind me. “I thought you were hurt or passed out in the shower or something.”
Her eyes grow wide. “I’m sorry Drew. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
I force my body to unclench some, not wanting to scare her or worse, send her into a panic by my over the top reaction to keeping her safe.
“It’s okay babe, I guess I overreacted.” I grab her wrist and pull her into an my arms. “Hungry?”
“A little,” she answers, looking up at me and smiling.
We spend the rest of the day holed up in her loft. I can’t take her out anywhere and honestly, I’d rather be here alone, just me and her. We barely bother to put clothes on, spending most of our time in bed, wrapped around each other. The sex is great but really, it’s just a diversion so we don’t have to talk about the giant elephant in the room. The fact that we still hardly know anything about each other.
Leah stays true to her word and stops by the next morning with coffee and croissants. She’s actually quite nice to me. I had convinced myself that she’d be mad I tried to get information about Sydney from her, but she seems to respect me more now that I’ve admitted my feelings for her best friend.
Sunday afternoon comes too quickly and I’m in a foul mood. I don’t want to leave Sydney here. She’s lost weight since I’ve been gone, clearly not taking care of herself, and emotionally she’s a train wreck. She got pissed when I asked what the fuck was going on with her job that has her so stressed out, especially when I asked if it had anything to do with that jackhole Adam Reynolds.
“What are you doing?” Sydney asks as she comes into the bedroom.
“Packing,” I snap harshly. You’re such a dick, Forrester. “Sorry,” I say to her as she sits on the bed and tucks her legs underneath her too-lean body.
I grab another pile of clothes and stuff them in my bag, not caring how wrinkled or messed up they get. I’ll probably just end up buying more in California anyway. Whenever I send my clothes to the cleaners, stuff always goes missing. Just like at airport security. Fucking weirdoes.
“It’s okay,” Sydney says softly.
I watch her as I finish packing. She looks sad, withdrawn. Several times I start to give in and tell her who I am, but each time I think about how she might never want to see me again and I can’t. Not when I’m headed back out of town for who knows how long. When I finally tell her, I want it to be when I can spend time with her, convince her that I’m the same guy she met at the gym. Not drop this giant bomb on her and then put three-thousand miles between us.
My phone chirps from my pocket. I don’t need to look to know that it’s Bruce telling me he’s out front waiting.
“That’s my ride,” I tell her, sitting next to her on the bed and pulling her onto my lap.
“I know,” she whispers.
“I’ll find out when I can come back.” I press several soft kisses on her lips.
“Okay.”
“Please Sydney, take better care of yourself. It’ll kill me to know you’re here withering away.”
“I will Drew,” she responds automatically, telling me whatever it is that I want to hear.
I sigh, she’s so fucking stubborn, but I can’t let her go yet. I slant my mouth over hers and memorize the taste of her on my tongue, sweet and sinful at the same time. Sydney grips the back of my hair and threads her fingers through it, tugging gently and scratching my scalp.
“Shit,” I pant, breaking off the kiss. “I have to stop or else I won’t be able to stop. My control around you is crap.”
Pouting, she slides off of my lap back onto the bed.
“I’ll call you tomorrow. It’ll be too late tonight when I land.”
She walks with me to the door.
“Alright,” she says in a quiet voice.
“I’ll miss you Syd, so much.” I reach up and trace her cheek with my thumb.
“Me too.”
I press one final kiss on her lips and leave.
As I take the elevator down to the lobby, a sense of dread overcomes me. I can’t explain it, but I get the worst feeling that if I don’t turn around and go back upstairs and tell her everything, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.