Chapter Eleven
“I’m surprised you aren’t out having a victory cigar. You remember. Your usual celebration after serving someone a crushing blow?”
Phillip didn’t bother to turn around when Zach stalked up behind him. He stared at the activity in the parking lot and the constant flow of vehicles in and out. “What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I mean. That was a rotten thing to do to Rowan. How could you possibly think of taking Ian away from her?” His voice held the unmistakable sound of reprimand.
“I didn’t. Better check your facts before you go jumping to conclusions next time, counselor. It’s joint custody with a healthy child support payment each month to help her out.”
“Why—?”
Phillip held up his hand then motioned with a tilt of his head. “Check it out. That gray pickup in the parking lot.”
“So?”
“I think it’s the same one that passed us the other night when we were parked down the road from Rowan’s house. It was also in the area last night when Ian and I got back. I dropped him off as quickly as I could but it was gone by the time I got to the main road to take a better look.”
Zach edged closer. “You’re waiting to see who it belongs to?”
“Yes, I thought I’d—”
A woman’s cry from within the building cut him off.
“Someone help! Kemp’s wife is trying to kill Rowan!”
Phillip raced inside with Zach mere footsteps behind.
“Bathroom,” the woman shouted, pointing.
They burst into the room. The door slammed against the wall, shattering plasterboard. Sally Kemp didn’t budge. One mad-eyed glare at them was all it took for her to tighten the purse strap she had around Rowan’s pale throat.
Rowan clawed at Sally’s fingers but the bloody gouges didn’t pierce the other woman’s rage. Rowan jammed her elbow in the woman’s ribs but Sally didn’t move. Rowan was tall and in top physical condition, but Sally’s grief and fury lent her the strength of a madwoman.
Phillip clamped his hand over Sally’s wrist and squeezed until she cried out and fell back. Rowan slumped to the floor, gasping for breath. After pushing Sally toward Zach, he drew Rowan to the loveseat in the women’s changing area while his friend.
“I thought cutting your tires would be enough,” the woman shouted as she was placed into restraints. “I should have slit your throat when I had the chance. Even that wouldn’t be payment enough for murdering my husband.” She began crying, a series of incoherent sobs that escalated into hysterical, shrieking wails.
Rowan rubbed at her neck. After staggering to her feet and shoving past Phillip, she paused, clearly enraged, in front of Sally Kemp. “I didn’t sleep with your husband, you delusional maniac! You want to point fingers? You point them somewhere else.”
“Take Mrs. Kemp out of here,” Phillip ordered. “Call the psych team from the hospital. Maybe they’ll admit her right away. Tell them it’s a priority.”
“Sir, I imagine they’ll take her down to the hospital in Pendleton pretty quick.” The police escort secured her from Zack then hauled Sally Kemp outside. She fought them each step of the way until they finally had to hog-tie her and carry her to their vehicle.
“Maybe they’ll make her a permanent resident, too,” Rowan shouted after them.
Phillip caught her elbow. “That’s enough.”
She jerked free, eyes huge in her pale face. “How could you do this to me? How could you even think of taking Ian?”
Phillip pulled back and drew himself to his full height. “You’d better reread the custody papers more carefully. I could never take Ian from you the way you took him from me.”
Rowan returned to the loveseat and picked up the documents. Her hands shook as she flipped through them.
“Joint custody and a thousand dollars a month in child support, plus a division in child care costs, if that ever became necessary,” he told her.
“Phillip, I—”
“How could you think I would hurt you or Ian in that way? He isn’t a yo-yo, Rowan. He’s a little boy who needs both of his parents. I told you that I intended to be a father. I wasn’t lying.”
With each word, he edged closer until her fragrance wrapped itself around him. Phillip noted Rowan’s pallor and the darkening of yet another series of bruises around her neck. First her face, then her arm, now her neck… His Rowan was a mess. My Rowan?
Zach cleared his throat, drawing their attention to the small audience gathered in the hallway, listening with avid interest. It seemed that once again they were providing entertainment for the office. They drew apart and the spectators dispersed, urged on by Zach’s persistent glares.
Phillip cleared his throat. “Zach, please take Rowan home. You can follow her in my car. I’ll get a ride and meet you there later this evening.”
When Zach opened his mouth to protest, Phillip cut him off. “I’ll explain later when I catch up with you.”
* * * *
Rowan and her mother sat out on the back porch sipping their tea and watching the setting sun streak the desert hills with purple and rose shadows. Some of her most precious childhood memories were of tea parties with her mom when she had been a little girl. As she’d grown, plastic cups had changed to porcelain then to mugs, and life’s problems had dissolved with the childhood routine. But she wasn’t a child anymore, and all the tea in the world couldn’t fix this issue.
Blowing across her steaming mug, Rowan tried to think about what she would do if the Marine Corps found her guilty of murder—what she would do if Phillip failed her and her family. Yes, the evidence should clear her, but what if something went wrong?
“When are you going to let go?” Her mother’s softly spoken question broke the evening’s hush, sounding unnaturally loud.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve always been a great one for planning, even when you were a child.” Her voice was fond with remembrance. “But it’s time to let someone else worry about your life for a change.”
“I’m not sure what you’re saying.” Rowan took a hasty gulp of too-hot tea and winced.
“What I’m saying, dear, is that you need to trust Phillip. Stop brooding over what-ifs and let the man do what he does best. That is why you requested him in the first place, isn’t it?”
Stung, Rowan retorted, “I trusted Phillip nine years ago, and see where that got me.”
Her mom gave her a reproachful look. “That’s not kind and is most certainly untrue—and you know it.” Adding a spoonful of honey to her tea, she stirred. “As a matter of fact, it’s partly because of Phillip that you’re where you are today.”
She shook her head. “Naturally, I wouldn’t have Ian without him. But as for my career in the Corps, that’s my doing, not his.”
“Dear, you know as well as I that had things progressed with Phillip, joining the Marine Corps would never have been an option for you.” After taking a long sip of tea, her mother went on. “When your father died, you were forced into a role of responsibility beyond your years.”
Rowan made a noise of denial but her mother kept talking.
“You took charge and organized our lives. When I was ready, you helped me get back to work and learn to live with my grief.”
“Mom, you would have pulled through on your own. You’re a strong woman.”
“Perhaps. It was such a shock, though. I really couldn’t function for a long time after your father’s death. For you, not having Phillip to depend on made you stronger. I swear I don’t know how you did it, knowing how your heart was aching for him and your father.”
Reaching out and squeezing her mother’s hand, Rowan thought back to those tumultuous years and sighed. “We made it together, all of us.”
“We did because you chose a difficult path and made it work against all odds. Now it’s time to think about yourself.”
“All I do is think about myself, Mom.” Rowan finished off her tea and set the mug down on the glass-topped patio table between them. “I think about how stupid I was to follow Charlie into that building in the middle of the night and how I should have known better.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Rowan saw the quick, darting shadows of Pipistrelle bats diving for insects attracted to the glow of their garage light. “I’m like those moths the bats are after, drawn by my curiosity to a dangerous situation then consumed for my folly.”
“You did what you thought was right. Stop blaming yourself and work with Phillip to find the answer to this horrible puzzle. Stop fighting him.”
Rowan sighed. “Phillip wants joint custody of Ian, Mom.”
“I know. He told me today when I came to pick you up from the office.”
Rowan’s laugh was self-reproving. “I shouldn’t be surprised that he was so generous with his terms. It’s just that I feel as if he’s coming into my life and taking control of more than my legal problems. Everything is coming apart and I don’t know which way to go from here.”
“Feelings can do that to a person.”
“I don’t have time for feelings now, Mom. The only thing I have time to worry about is what you and Ian will do if I get sent to Leavenworth for fifty years. I guess Ian won’t be a problem. Phillip will watch out for him. I’ll have to sell the house—unless Phillip wants it. No, I’ll sell it. You’ll need a power of attorney. I hate to think of you all by yourself. My God, we don’t even have health insurance. I’ve depended on the military to provide—”
“Enough!” Her mother smacked her mug down onto the patio table with a sharp crack. Standing, she stared down at Rowan, hands braced on hips.
“There are things in life you cannot plan. Love is one of them. Rowan, if you can’t seize each moment and live your life to the fullest, you will wake up one day and the only thing that you will have to hold on to will be regret.”
With that, her mother walked back to her own house with a guard, leaving Rowan curled up in her chair, tracing the rim of her cold mug with one finger.
Rowan glanced up into the night. A shooting star blazed across the darkness, followed by another.
Make a wish, quick! Even that childhood tradition failed to lift her spirits. Wishes were for dreamers and she’d quit dreaming years ago.
* * * *
Phillip had spent an hour pleading with Laura to drop him off in the desert then hours more waiting for his prey to show up. He trusted her to help him more than he trusted anyone else right about now. It had finally paid off. He watched the gray pickup truck roll to a stop on a side road not far from Rowan’s house. Whoever it was had a clear view of both Rowan’s and Emma’s houses but hopefully not Phillip’s hiding place deep in the creosote bushes.
He drew the binoculars up for a closer look, but the darkness obscured the driver except for the telltale ember of a cigarette. Phillip inched forward, afraid to turn on his flashlight for fear of discovery. The Marine Corps had taught him outdoor survival but skulking through nighttime desert underbrush had not been part of that training. He only hoped there wasn’t a rattlesnake lurking in his vicinity.
A coyote yipped out a call, answered by the pack. The eerie howls set his pulse racing. Phillip forced himself to stay calm. It was only a coyote—a dog. Right? A wild dog out at night looking for an easy meal, probably hoping he’d find a man stupid enough to be crawling through the desert at midnight.
One step…two. Before he realized it, Phillip was within ten feet of the vehicle. He hunkered down onto his haunches and lifted the binoculars. Malcolm Collins.
Phillip smiled to himself. So, the weasel was doing a little snooping on his own, but why?
What are you after, Malcolm? Better yet, what are you trying to hide?
The thought came so quickly that it surprised Phillip. Of course Collins could have something to hide. Why else would he have botched Kemp’s murder investigation?
Great theory. Now where’s the proof?
Phillip decided not to instigate a confrontation. If they were able to gather evidence that somehow incriminated Malcolm Collins, it wouldn’t do to tip their hands too soon.
The last light in Rowan’s house blinked out. Seconds later, Collins cranked the motor to life and eased down the road, back in the direction of town.
“Tomorrow,” Phillip murmured and straightened to his feet. The uneven layers of sand beneath him didn’t cooperate. He slid, teetered for balance then toppled backward into a large patch of cactus.
* * * *
Rowan didn’t know which woke her first, Oscar’s bark or the knocking. She was on her feet and downstairs in time to hear Zach say, “Good God, Phillip, what happened? Have you been shot?”
Phillip’s response was puzzling. “Shut up and help me.”
She could barely see their forms in the dim light of the darkened doorway. In wide-eyed horror, Rowan watched Phillip slump belly-first to the floor. He could barely move. A thousand questions slammed through her. Who shot him? How badly is he hurt?
Zach flipped on the light. Her shock and fear melted away and she burst into peals of laughter. Zach’s rich bellows soon joined hers. Clumps of cholla cactus spines dotted Phillip’s back and buttocks, piercing him through his dark cotton shorts and shirt.
“Will one of you please quit laughing and pull them out?” he snapped.
Still giggling, Rowan went into the kitchen and retrieved a paper sack and a pair of needle-nose pliers.
Zach sat on the floor and leaned against the wall to watch the extraction. “What happened? Someone shoot you with a cactus-loaded shotgun?”
Rowan tried to stop grinning and failed. It was a novel experience to be able to assist Phillip for a change. She relished the moment.
“I fell,” he grumbled.
Zach smothered a snort. “You sure did. What were you doing out in the desert in the middle of the night? You could have been hurt.”
He jerked his head up. “I was hurt.”
Pliers raised, Rowan pulled back, amusement tickling her from head to toe. “And the answer to the question is?”
Using his arms as a cushion, he laid his head down. “Where’s Mike? He’s supposed to be watching the house.”
“He has to sit duty at the base tonight.” Rowan started with the spines that were easiest to reach, those barely hanging on. “The question? Don’t move, please. These are very difficult to pull out.”
Phillip winced. “There’s been a truck hanging around here lately. I wanted to see who it was.”
Zach tucked his legs under himself meditation-style. “And?”
“Malcolm Collins.”
She paused, pliers open in mid-grab. “Why would he be snooping around here?”
“I don’t know. He left as soon as your house lights went out.”
“Because he knew we were in for the night,” Zach said.
“That’s what I’m thinking… Rowan, please…the cactus?”
“Sorry.” She yanked out another clump. “It almost sounds like you’re saying he leaves once he’s sure we’re settled down.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Tomorrow night I’m going to follow him. I would have tonight if I’d had a car.”
“What did you do, walk here from the base?” Rowan asked.
“I got Laura to drop me off.”
How sweet. Rowan located a needle stuck deep in the firm flesh of Phillip’s buttock and yanked as hard as she could.
“Ow!” Phillip rolled around, reaching for the offended spot. Obviously realizing that his movement served to embed more cholla needles deeper into his other flank, he yelped and resumed his original position. Wincing, he reached back to locate the worst of the offending spikes.
She smacked his hand away. “Be still or you’ll have it in your hand next.” When he rolled back into place, she added, “I don’t know why you don’t let the authorities handle this.”
“Like you did?” he shot back. “Besides, Collins is one of the authorities. How far do you think an inquiry will go with him around?”
He was right. If it hadn’t been for Phillip’s persistence in the first place, Kemp’s murder never would have garnered a second look beyond the shoddy evidence Collins had provided.
“Just be careful snooping,” Zach told him. “I’m really not in the mood to bury you or defend you for murder. Is there anything you need me to do?”
Phillip propped himself on his elbows. “Yeah, see if you can get some scoop on Collins. Contact someone from our investigative office in Pendleton if you have to.”
Rowan yanked the last dozen needles out of Phillip and tossed them into the sack. “That should do it, but you’re really going to feel it for a few days. Strip down and I’ll throw your clothes in the washer. A long soak in my tub ought to help reduce the stinging and swelling.”
“Not if I have to use that flowery soap.”
She laughed. “There’s a bar of Dove under the bathroom sink.”
Phillip peeled off his shirt and took the stairs two at a time. Rowan’s stomach did flip-flops at the sight of him. Years of physical training had sculpted his chest and back to perfection. Her fingers itched to caress the angles.
“I’m going to bed,” Zach said. “You wanted him cornered. Looks to me like he’s not going anywhere.”
“I don’t think now is the—”
He steered her toward the stairs. “Just get it over with. I doubt you’ll get another opportunity as good as this one. The only way he can avoid you now is to jump out of the window.”
Rowan waited until she thought she heard Phillip slip into the tub. She gathered his clothes from where he had dropped them outside the bathroom door and moved them as far away as possible. After a deep breath to steel her nerves and her resolve, she walked in.
Phillip snapped a washcloth over his lap. “What the hell are you doing in here?”
“We need to talk. I need to talk. And you’re going to listen.”
He leaned back and closed his eyes with a sigh of resignation. “Fine. Talk. But don’t come any closer.”
Rowan sank to the floor and braced herself against the wall opposite the tub. “This won’t be easy.”
“Just spit it out and get it over with.”
Harsh. Well, what do I expect? It was about to get worse.
Fighting for the strength to continue, Rowan concentrated on the white scar blazed across his left biceps—the result of his attempt to make love to her in the close confines of a sleeping bag. The confinement had panicked her so much that she had rolled them both onto a tent stake—his first exposure to her intense claustrophobia. Even then, bleeding from the jagged wound, he hadn’t been as angry as he was now.
“Could you put aside your anger for a little while?” she asked in a quiet voice.
Silence was his answer. It was better than nothing. She’d take it.
“Why did you file for custody of Ian?”
He was quiet for so long that Rowan was afraid he wouldn’t answer. Finally, the tension drained from his shoulders.
“After I saw that truck here again last night, I got scared. I thought it would be a way to protect him if something happened. I wanted our son’s safety and security resolved now, just in case.”
“I’m not going to fight you on this, Phillip. I’ll tell the judge that myself tomorrow morning. Ian is your son. You have a right to be a part of his life. You should have always been a part of his life.”
He snorted, shifting slightly in the steaming water. “Strange that you should choose now to remember that.”
Rowan flexed her fingers, searching for the right words. She found only the truth.
“I discovered I was pregnant about two weeks after you left on your ‘vacation’.” She made quote marks in the air with her fingers. “I was a little surprised since we were always so careful about us not getting pregnant. Well, almost always. You don’t know how ecstatic I was. All I could think about was telling you we were going to have a baby. But you hadn’t told me where you were going or why. You’d kept putting me off, saying you had some things to do and you needed to get away for a while.” She could feel herself getting flushed with emotion. “I did call you, Phillip.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her. Disbelief shadowed his face.
“I called every day for a week. Your father answered the phone each time. He said he didn’t know where you were and to stop calling. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t believe it.”
“He didn’t know where I was. I didn’t tell anyone,” Phillip said. “But, Rowan, I didn’t stay gone forever.”
“Then Daddy had the heart attack. I called again. Nothing from you. Then he died. I called again. Your father said he’d give you the message. I called the next day and the next to see when you’d arrive for the funeral.”
She paused then took a deep breath. “I needed you so badly. He said you weren’t coming, that you said whatever problems I had were mine to deal with. He said, ‘You should realize now, young woman, that you were nothing more than a college fling. Phillip is a Stuart. Stuarts don’t marry people like you. In fact, he hasn’t wasted any time finding an appropriate replacement for you. Shall I extend your congratulations on his engagement?’”
“He said what?” Phillip came out of the tub so fast that his cloth dropped.
Rowan looked away and motioned him back. “Stay where you are. Please.” The pain was fresh again, ripping her heart and dreams in two.
“Rowan, I would never… How could you believe…?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I overheard the argument between you and your father the day before you left me, how he had lied to you all those years when he said he’d been paying your law school tuition, how he’d only been paying a small portion of the money, keeping the school from telling you about your mounting debts and that another payment was due. I heard him tell you that if you didn’t go back and work for Big, Red and Thor.”
He waved her poor attempt at old humor away as if it were a pesky fly. “Biggs, Reed and Moore.”
“Whatever… That you were going to be stuck with that enormous tuition debt. I knew you didn’t have that kind of money. I certainly didn’t.”
“You overheard us arguing?”
She nodded. “I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but Claudia was waiting in the car for us and she’d sent me inside to see what was taking you so long to find your keys. The door to the library was open a crack and your voices were so loud, I couldn’t help but overhear.”
“Why didn’t you tell me afterward?” he demanded.
“I was afraid. Afraid that what Donald said was true—that I was holding you back and that your long years of legal education would be wasted in some public school job.” She pressed her head against her bent knees.
“So you thought I’d bow to his pressure?” He grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it tightly around his waist. Then he sat on the edge of the tub, his elbows braced on his knees. “Rowan, what were the last words I said to you later that same day?”
“That you loved me.”
“And I’d find a way to work things out in our lives, that I needed your understanding. I asked you to trust me and give me some time to solve my problems.”
“I didn’t know it was going to be nine years, Phillip.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be nine years. It was eight weeks. I joined the Marine Corps. I thought I’d take your father’s example, I guess.”
“Obviously. Why didn’t you tell me then? Didn’t you think I would support you?”
He gave a humorless chuckle. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to support you. It was a shot in the dark. I needed money, security for both of us. Yeah, I could have gotten by working for that law firm, but it would have meant that my father had won and I was another easily-controlled piece in his game. I honestly didn’t know if I could make it through Officer Candidate School. I didn’t want to get your hopes up only to fail you. I’m not good at failure, Rowan.” He paused and shifted on the edge of the tub. “I called you the minute I knew I’d made it.”
“And I refused your calls.” A tear slipped down her cheek to the point of her chin.
“Why in the name of God did you do that?”
A sob tore from her chest. “I’d love to tell you that I was noble, that I loved you so much all I wanted was your happiness, even if that meant you wanted to be with someone else. But I’m not noble, Phillip. I hated you. I hated the very air you breathed. I hurt so bad for all those weeks you were gone and all I wanted was for you to rot in hell with the bimbo you were engaged to. Then…”
It was too much. She buried her face in her hands and cried. Phillip was instantly by her side, wrapping her in that embrace that was so familiar, so comfortable, so right. Rowan gave in, holding tightly as she had longed to do all these years.
“I didn’t get to finish college. The pregnancy was hard on me. I was sick a lot. Daddy’s death tore me up. On top of all that, I’d lost you. I honestly thought you had given in to Donald, married some rich socialite to pay off your debts and joined the family law practice.”
She took a deep breath. “Mom was in such a state after Daddy died. I didn’t know what else to do, so after Ian was born I joined the Marine Corps. It was such a familiar part of my childhood and I knew from Daddy what to expect. One year became two, then three, then eight, then I re-enlisted for four more. It’s a good career.
“I swear, Phillip, that I didn’t know you were in the Corps until a year ago when I got a promotion and switched to the legal department. It seemed like such a bizarre coincidence. I know I should have told you before now, but I couldn’t find a way. I kept putting it off and putting it off.”
She pulled her head up to look at him, face wet with tears. “But I’ll be honest with you. If none of this other mess had happened, I can’t say that I ever would have told you about Ian. No matter how much checking up I did, I couldn’t be sure if you were your father’s puppet or not. I was frightened, for Ian as well as myself. The last thing I wanted was for Donald Stuart to get his hands on my son. And you know he’d try, Phillip. Out of sheer meanness, he’d try to take Ian and mold that child into his own image.”
He cupped her hands in his. “I know. Don’t worry. We won’t give him the chance. Come on. You’ve cried enough tears to last a lifetime. You need to get some sleep.”
Rowan let him guide her to the bed and tuck her in, even though sleep was the furthest thing from her mind. “I don’t expect you to understand and you do have every right to be angry—”
“Oh, you can bet I’m plenty angry but not at you—not any longer. Sleep.”
With one long finger, he traced the fading remains of her bruise. The tantalizing sensation of his warm skin on her sensitive cheekbone sent a shiver through her body.
“Phillip?”
He paused at the doorway, a perfectly sculpted statue, beads of moisture glistening on the golden hair dusting his chest. “Yes?”
What good will it do to ask him to stay? I want more than that. “Nothing. Good night.”
“Night.”
Phillip shut the door behind him and walked slowly down the stairs to the living room. Nine years wasted. Nine years! He shook his head in a mixture of anger and regret.
“Beer? Wine? Pants?” Zach’s voice emerged from the depths of the overstuffed recliner in the corner. “I thought you’d need something right now.” He offered Phillip a beer.
He waved it away. “Rowan told you?”
“Yes, a couple of days ago. I thought you would want to know…after you cooled down enough to listen with both ears open. So, which will it be?” Zach held out a cold beer in one hand and an extra pair of his sweatpants in the other.
Phillip slipped the sweats on then sank into the nearest chair. “Nine years, Zach. We could have been married, raised a couple more kids—all because of a misunderstanding started by my father.”
“I know. I’m sorry for both of you, Phillip.”
“I thought I’d won. Thought I’d beaten him by leaving and joining the Marine Corps, by making my way without his damned money. And all this time… I’ve got to call my sister. I left my phone in my shorts upstairs. Can I use yours?”
Zach didn’t hesitate to hand it over. “It’s after midnight. Do you really want to upset Claudia with this when it’s really your father you want to rant and rave at?”
“I can’t talk to him, not right now.” He punched in the numbers and sat back. Claudia picked up on the first ring, her voice groggy with sleep.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Phillip, what’s wr—?”
In painstaking detail, he laid out the whole sordid tale. It hurt worse hearing the words the second time. Thankfully, Zach was sensitive enough to leave the room.
Claudia listened in silence, a clue as to how furious she was. He could picture the rage in her blue eyes, her full lips thinned to a line so tight that nothing could part them. She understood the true soul of their father.
There was also not much doubt what she would do after he’d hung up the phone. Her anger on his behalf would be the catalyst between him and his father. There wasn’t going to be any need for Phillip to call. He only needed to wait for the mountain to come to him.
Turning, he saw Rowan sitting at the foot of the staircase, hugging her knees. “Claudia?”
“Yeah.” He rubbed the ache from his eyes.
“You know she’ll call your father.”
“And he’ll call me.”
“You’d better take it to my room. Ian might hear you if it gets ugly.”
And it was going to get ugly. “Be right there.”
He listened to her soft footsteps retreat. Zach walked in, beer in hand.
“Don’t go up there, Phillip. If you do, you know you’ll wind up tangled in the sheets.” Concern softened Zach’s tone.
“Would that be so wrong?” Phillip demanded. “Don’t we have the right, after all that’s been taken from us?”
“You know the answer as well as I do. Is it worth the risk of losing everything that you and Rowan have worked so hard to achieve?”
A week ago, the answer would have been an unequivocal no. Now, what was life without Rowan and Ian?
But it wasn’t his career they were dealing with—it was hers as well. She’d asked for him to help save her and here he was, debating an action that would surely accomplish the opposite. If they had sex, they’d both be in court again, this time for fraternization.
Scuffling in the hallway pulled them around. Ian stumbled toward him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Phillip knelt and gave him a hug.
“What’s the matter, buddy? Can’t sleep?”
He plopped his head against Phillip’s shoulder. “Oscar’s hogging the bed.”
“Make him get down.”
“I tried. He won’t move.”
“Want me to try?”
Ian shook his head. “I want to sleep with Mom.”
Phillip pointed him to the staircase and gave him a pat on the bottom. “I’m sure she would like that. Sleep tight.”
“Clever,” Zach said once Ian was out of earshot. “But he can’t sleep with his mother forever. Face it, Phillip. You’re a ticking bomb. You can’t have both Rowan and your career. You need to do some hard thinking before you walk up those steps. How does she feel? Where does she stand? She is a beautiful woman. Maybe there’s already another man in her life.”
Jaw set, Phillip whirled around. “Then where the hell is he? Why isn’t he here to lend her support? If she were your woman, wouldn’t you be here?”
“If she were my woman, I would have never let her out of my life in the first place. She would have been a part of every decision I made, even joining the Marine Corps. Nothing would have kept me from her. If she were my woman, I would have broken down the doors to her home the first time she hung up on me and demanded an explanation.” Zach flung the painful words at Phillip with deadly accuracy.
“But you didn’t do that, did you? You called her on the carpet for not telling you about Ian, yet you’re the one who ran away to join the Corps and let her slip out of your life without a fight. Maybe you should be asking yourself if it was really love you felt for her nine years ago—or maybe your father was right. Maybe she was your flavor of the month.”
Phillip cocked a fist and took a step forward. “That’s a lie.”
Zach held his ground. “If she meant so much to you, if she was the love of your life, why didn’t you fight for her then?”
Anguished, Phillip lowered his arm. He stood for a moment, looking at his friend, then clasped Zach’s arm, asking for forgiveness.
“Rowan wasn’t the only one my father worked on. When she didn’t call, didn’t come around, didn’t write and refused my calls, he started in on me. ‘I told you she was no good. She was after the family money. As soon as she found out you were cut off without a cent to your name, she left you.’ Year after year he threw that in my face at every opportunity. What’s worse, I actually believed him.”
“Yet she didn’t hesitate to call you when she really needed help, and you immediately went to her aid. I’d say you’ve got some serious thinking to do, my friend—about your relationship with Rowan and your continuing job as a judge advocate for the Marine Corps. You can’t have it both ways.” He yawned. “I’m hitting the rack. If you need me, I’ll be in the guest room.”
Left alone, Phillip stretched out on the couch and draped his arm over his eyes. Why wasn’t life simpler? They had both started out with such grand, youthful plans—to become teachers, to get married. Now this. All because of a malicious, manipulative man.
No, because they had believed in Donald’s lies instead of each other. That was the bottom line. Donald had fed the fire that had kept them apart, but they were the ones who’d let the flames burn. Call it youth or inexperience, maybe stupidity.
Zach was right, nothing should have stood between them, but there could be no doubting the love that had existed then. And now?
“Phillip?”
He rose at the sound of Rowan’s voice. She leaned over the banister, his cell phone extended down to him.
“It’s your father, and you’ll be happy to know that he’s as endearing as ever.”
Even from where he stood, Phillip could hear his father’s barking tones echoing from the receiver.
Rowan tossed the phone to him. Phillip caught it neatly in one hand.
“Listen to me when I’m talking, you little bitch!” his father ranted.
Phillip screwed up his face in disgust and pressed the receiver to his ear. “No, Donald, you listen to me. Did you think I would never find out? I don’t know who you think you are, messing in my life. All those years, gone. Thanks to you, I have a son I barely know and I’ve missed almost all his childhood. I don’t expect that you would understand the importance of being a father. All you know is manipulation and control. I put up with your authoritarian presence at holidays for Mother’s sake, but no longer. As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to me. Stay out of my life. Out of Rowan’s life. And you damn well better stay out of my son’s life.”
He jammed the button down to end the call then turned off the phone with a grunt of satisfaction.
“You’re calmer than I would be,” Rowan told him.
“You said you hated me before.” He looked at her, all too aware that his naked anguish would show on his face. “Do you still hate me?”
Her reply was barely audible. “How can I when every day I see you in our beautiful son?” She pivoted abruptly and started to return upstairs.
“Don’t, please.” He held out his hand to her. “Don’t leave. I need to hold you for a little while, like before. I’m so tired, Rowan. Please, stay with me. I need you beside me.”
For a moment, he thought she’d refuse. Then she was before him, folding herself into his embrace.
Bodies cradled together like two spoons, they stretched out on the soft expanse of the couch and drifted off to sleep.