Chapter Thirteen
Rowan rested her head against the tiny sofa in Phillip’s office and longed to drown out the crush of emotion around her. She could understand why Phillip hadn’t returned to her house the night before. He was under no obligation to do so. She had no claim on him and no right to think he should jeopardize his career by visiting her home any more than professionalism and his duty to Ian dictated. He could go where he wanted and with whomever he pleased, with no fuss from her.
All right, so it did bother her. In fact, it enraged her to think he had spent the evening in the company of beautiful, voluptuous Laura, no doubt making love the way they used to.
But nothing goaded her more than his early morning decree for everyone to meet him in his office then for them to be kept waiting. If there had been room, she would have paced the floor.
“Here he comes.” Zach shoved open the door wider for Phillip to enter.
A grunt served as his greeting before he sagged into his seat behind the desk.
“You look like you’ve seen better days,” Mike said.
Phillip rubbed his bloodshot eyes. “I was up all night.”
“Did you get lucky?” Mike asked.
Rowan resented the hidden implications of the question but she seemed the only one to notice the double entendre.
“You might say that,” Phillip muttered. “Collins met with two scrap dealers at a bar last night. The waitress gave me the scoop on them. Then when I got back to my room, I found this note shoved under the door.”
He pulled a slip of paper from his pocket and slid it across the desk.
Zach unfolded it. “‘Quit snooping or someone’s gonna get hurt. This is your last warning.’ Obviously, you weren’t as discreet as you thought. What happened?”
Phillip squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I did something stupid. Let’s leave it at that.” His gaze settled on Rowan. “Where’s Ian?”
“At day camp.”
“I’d rather he were at home with one of us.”
That meant her. Rowan shook her head. “He’s not going to be happy. The day campers were supposed to go to the water park today.”
“Well, then you and Zach can go with him to the water park while Mike and I start checking out scrap dealers on the northern end of the base.”
Zach snorted. “No way. I like kids as much as the next guy, but I’m not spending the day with a bunch of wet, screaming rugrats.”
Mike shook his head in mock terror. “Don’t look at me. I’m not going.”
“And neither am I. I’ve done the chaperone thing more times than I can count. No more.” Rowan fished her keys from her purse and tossed them to Phillip. “It was your idea. You go. We’ll check out scrap dealers.”
Mike and Zach were out of the door before Phillip could protest.
“You don’t even know what you’re looking for,” Phillip called to their backs.
Rowan smirked. “We’ll figure it out. Wear lots of sunscreen. Mom will give you the address of the camp.”
By the time she reached the parking lot, Mike had their escape vehicle out of its space, ready to go.
Rowan smiled to herself. It was a dirty trick to play on him, but this tiny bit of revenge chased her guilt away.
That’ll teach you to stay up all night tumbling around in the sheets.
* * * *
Tired as he was, Phillip had to admit he’d gotten the better part of the deal. First, there had been Ian’s obvious delight when he’d discovered his dad was acting as chaperone, then Ian’s proud introduction to all his friends. Finally, he’d had a day with a bunch of rambunctious children, playing, wrestling, fussing over minor injuries. A day being a dad—the kind of dad he’d always wanted to be, the kind of dad he’d often longed for.
This was what his life would be like if he gave up his military career, and he hungered for more. Zach had been wrong. It would be worth it. There had to be a way to have the best of both worlds, a way to make the Marine Corps agree.
Ian jumped up as far as the seat belt allowed. “Mom’s home.”
Rowan waved a greeting from the porch. Oscar wagged his back-end furiously at her side. Phillip was surprised they had beaten him home. Ian was unbuckled and out of the van before it could come to a full stop.
“What’s for dinner? I’m starved.”
She brushed his hair back with her fingers and smiled. “Steak, baked potatoes and corn on the cob. Zach’s cooking on the grill.”
“Can I go play?”
“Just don’t go out of the yard,” Phillip replied.
Ian charged around the side of the house with Oscar in close pursuit.
“You’re back earlier than I expected.”
Her smile faded as she turned his way. “We found what we were searching for in the first scrap-metal shop, right on the outskirts of Barstow. Jess said he would try to get a photo of your scrap men and take it back to the owner for identification tomorrow. Jess will question him then on his accepting stolen property.”
“He’ll probably say he didn’t know it was stolen. Have I got time for a nap before dinner? After being up all night and chasing kids all day, I’m exhausted.”
“Sure.” She jerked her thumb toward the house. “Zach’s fighting the grill and Mike’s in the living room watching a ballgame. The couch is free. I’ll wake you in about an hour.”
An arctic wind would have had less chill to it.
Mike acknowledged him with a nod when he walked in.
“I understand you had a good trip to Barstow.”
His friend’s gaze didn’t leave the game but he nodded absentmindedly. “Yep. Car ran a little hot on the way back, though. Zach said you’re pretty good at fixing cars. Want to take a look at it for me later?”
Phillip stretched out and draped his arm over his eyes. “Sure. After dinner. Has she been like that all day?”
There was a second or two of silence. Mike turned to him. “From the minute she came downstairs this morning. Probably getting a little stir-crazy. I know I am. What went wrong last night?”
“I’d really rather not say.”
“Does it have anything to do with Laura?”
Phillip dropped his arm and peered at him. “No. Why?”
“No reason.” A hint of a smile lit his face as he kicked back and focused full attention on the television.
Phillip frowned and closed his eyes.
Rowan watched Phillip doze off. How could he act so casually in her home after spending the night with another woman?
She sucked in a breath to calm her nerves. This was how it was going to be forever—Phillip seeing other women, having sex with them, stopping by for an afternoon with Ian and a nap on the couch then leaving, trampling her heart again and again. And one day he would tell her he was getting married. He’d have other children, other ties. They had to salvage a friendship out of this mess somehow or Ian would be the one to suffer.
With her arms wrapped around her midriff, she wandered to the back patio where Zach was adjusting foil-wrapped potatoes, corn and vegetables on the gas grill.
“At the risk of saying the wrong thing, Ro, what’s been bugging you all day? As my mother would say, you’ve been walking around like a bear with a sore ass.” He shot her a quick glance. “If it’s a female thing, I don’t want to know.”
Not exactly the confidante she would have normally sought, but something about Zach drew her trust. Rowan settled onto the chaise across from him and popped the top on one of the beers from the nearby cooler.
“How long have Phillip and Laura been seeing each other?”
He spared her a glance, then closed the lid and straddled the end of her chair. “As tempted as I am to lie to you, I won’t. They aren’t seeing each other. It was a brief relationship that didn’t work out.”
“But last night—”
“She was helping him investigate. That’s all. From what I’ve seen of him, once Phillip ends a relationship, there’s no going back.”
Rowan stared at the can in her hand, avoiding Zach’s gaze. “Why would you want to lie to me?”
“Because there are times I wonder if either of you is thinking straight where the other is concerned. And you know me, I’ve always got to put in my two-cents worth.” He patted her leg. “I could use a kid fix. Where’s that son of yours? Think he’d want to play a little catch?”
Rowan gave a light laugh. “You’d better watch out. He’s a ball of energy. He’ll wear you out.”
“Hey, I’ve seen the kid sleep. He’s got his limits. You watch the grill. I’ll see if I can convince him to humor me.”
She laughed again. “He’s not far. Probably around the other side of the house playing with Oscar. Ian!”
When there was no reply, Zach went to look for him. He returned a few minutes later, alone.
“I can’t find him or the dog, inside or out.”
Fear shortened her breath. “Phillip specifically told him not to leave the yard.” A bad choice of words, especially when translated by the mind of a child. Ian’s yard was ten acres, not the area surrounding the house.
“Oh, my God, if something happened to him…”
Zach hauled her to her feet. “We’ll split up and search. He’s fine. You’ll see.”
Rowan wanted to believe that, but after fifteen minutes of calling and searching the area, her instincts were telling her to panic. Her heart hammered against her ribs. Something was wrong, she knew it.
The door opened behind her. Phillip.
“Where’s Ian? I heard you calling him.”
In a voice choked with dread, she replied, “I don’t know. We can’t find him anywhere.”
“I thought I told him to stay in the yard.”
Rowan waved her arm toward the surrounding landscape. “The desert is his yard.”
A furrow grew between Phillip’s eyebrows. “He knew damn well what I meant. I’m not playing this apples and oranges game with him.”
“Here he comes,” Zach called.
They saw Oscar leading the way, tongue dragging. Ian lagged behind while he pulled a stick through the sand behind him.
“Where were you?” Zach asked.
Ian skipped along, oblivious to the man’s anger. “Playing.”
“Why didn’t you come home when you were called?”
“I was watching some ants. I wanted to see how long it would take them to fix their hill after I messed it up.”
Rowan still shook with fear. “We’ve been calling you for I don’t know how long. Why didn’t you at least answer?”
Ian shrugged. “I don’t know. I was busy.”
“Busy? You were busy?” Zach’s face turned crimson. “Your mother ought to paddle you good.”
The boy looked up, glanced at Rowan then resumed his stick-dragging. “Ooo, like that would really hurt. Mom can’t spank very hard. Anyway, I’m too big for a spanking.”
Phillip charged past Rowan. “No, but I can, and you’re never too big for a spanking, young man.”
Ian’s eyes widened with a mixture of surprise and fear. He took one step back before his father hovered over him.
“You want to test that information? And as for the effectiveness of any spanking your mother might give, I’ll be sure to buy her a paddle so there won’t be any question in your mind about how much it’ll hurt.” Phillip’s tone was firm.
Rowan silently commended his action. Ian’s quivering chin preceded his wailing then fat tears coursed down his cheeks.
“Go to your room.” Phillip pointed to the house. “When you’re done crying, you will apologize to Zach for talking back so rudely. You will apologize to your mother for worrying her half to death. And you will apologize to me for disobeying my explicit instructions. Do you understand?”
Ian glared up at him. Rowan knew that expression all too well. She’d been on the receiving end of it many times—defiance coupled with the pain of perceived betrayal.
Tears poured down his face. “Everyone around here hates me!” Ian hiccupped and scrubbed his face with the back of one dirty hand. “I should run away.”
Phillip jerked his arm toward the house. “Go to your room. Now!”
Ian stomped his foot. “I hate you. I wish you had never come back.” He dashed into the house, slamming his bedroom door for emphasis.
“Man, I never want kids.” Zach beat a hasty retreat of his own back to the safety of the grill.
Phillip ran his fingers through his short hair. Uncertainty plagued him, Rowan knew. She’d been down that road before.
“You did the right thing,” she said. “If you hadn’t spanked him, I would have, for all the good it would have done.”
He nodded and walked toward her. “Is that how you feel? Do you hate me, too? Do you wish I’d never come back?” He focused his gaze on hers.
With each step he’d gotten closer, until his body was so near that Rowan could feel the heat radiating from him. She wanted to step back, unsure, but the porch railing blocked her retreat. Hesitantly, she placed her palm against his chest. His heart raced beneath her touch, or was that her pulse straining to be closer?
“I wished for you to come back to me every minute of every day since you left,” she whispered. “I don’t hate you, Phillip. How could I?” When I love you so much.
Their eyes met, a look that said what she could not. Then, slowly, deliciously, his lips covered hers.
There was no time but this. His kiss leaped the span of years, bringing her back to the place where they were as one. Rowan drew in a breath and draped her arm around his neck, pulling him closer.
There was that sound. That special little moan he made whenever he touched her like this. She reveled in it. He still wanted her. He slid his arm around her waist and clutched her to him as he deepened their kiss.
She didn’t know how long they stood together, each pressed as close as their clothing would allow. Whatever the time, it wasn’t long enough. One kiss followed another, adding fuel to a flame that demanded to be extinguished.
Rowan couldn’t breathe. It was too much, too wonderful. Every part of her ached to be with him once more while her conscience nagged at her to stop. She lifted her lips from his and gasped for air.
Phillip danced his tongue down the arch of her throat and brushed feather-light kisses in the hollow above her collarbone. With her contented sigh he dipped lower, tracing the swell of her breast where it peeked above her blouse.
“No, Phillip, we can’t.” But even as the words left her lips, she was pressing her hips to his.
He caught her leg and drew it around his waist then pushed her against the porch railing.
“Maybe I should turn the hose on you two.”
At the sound of Zach’s voice, they whirled around.
Zach shook his head. “Could you at least get a room?” After another shake of his head, he left.
Rowan expected Phillip to push her away. Instead, he opened the back door to the house and drew her inside the kitchen, his arm still wrapped possessively around her waist.
“I think we need to talk.”
Rowan didn’t like the sound of this voice. It carried the tone of this-was-a-mistake. “It’s all right. I understand. The excitement of the moment and all.”
Phillip released her and took a step back. “Is that what it was to you?”
She wrapped her arms around her midriff to quell the butterflies that suddenly erupted. Lie to him, her conscience screamed. Instead, she shook her head. Tell me you love me, Phillip. Tell me everything is going to be fine, that we’ll have a life together. “Isn’t that what it was to you?”
“No, it wasn’t,” he replied. “If that’s all you were to me, I wouldn’t have spent the night standing guard over the house.”
Standing guard? Rowan cocked her head to one side. Had she heard correctly? “What did you say you did last night?”
He pointed down the road. “After I got that lovely note, Laura and I came back and parked where we could keep a watch on the house.”
Giddiness bubbled up inside of her. “You watched over us all night?”
“Well…yes.”
“Oh, Phillip, what if the murderer had seen you? You could have been hurt—or worse.”
His gaze dusted her face. He traced his fingertips over her cheek. Goose bumps peppered her skin. “I guess I never thought about that. I was too worried about you.”
“Oh, Phillip, I—”
His lips swallowed the rest of her sentence, devouring the words as he did her soul. Rowan clung to him, deepening the caress. With a low growl, he wedged her against the sink.
Rowan parted her legs and pulled him closer, arching herself to the hardness that beckoned. He fumbled to breach her shirt, shoving aside the material until he reached her bra strap. With the flick of his wrist, the clasps came free. He swooped his hands forward, capturing her in a gentle hold that shot sparks of fire through her.
There was a sound behind them. They looked up in time to see Mike ducking back into the living room.
Panic paralyzed Rowan. “Oh, no.”
Phillip pulled her shirt back into place. “It’ll be okay.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand. Mike is… Mike’s too honest. He’ll never keep this to himself.”
Phillip took several quick breaths. “Trust me.” He turned and shouted in the direction of the living room. “Come on, Mike. Let’s see that car of yours.”
Rowan sank into the nearest chair. Her knees were shaking too much to hold her anymore. Was that disaster or happiness looming on the horizon? She was no fool. One could not exist without the other, not as far as she and Phillip were concerned.
* * * *
Mike had yet to speak since Phillip had come to the garage. On the surface, he behaved as if nothing was out of order. But every once in a while, Phillip caught a questioning expression in his eyes.
“Here’s your problem right here.” Phillip pointed to the radiator. “You need a new cap. This one’s cracked. See the edge?”
Mike nodded, not looking where Phillip was pointing.
Phillip wiped his hands on a rag and stood back. “All right. Out with it.”
“Out with what?” Mike refused to meet his eyes.
“Come on. I know you saw us.”
Mike drew in a breath and glanced up. “I didn’t see a thing.”
“Honestly?”
“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Off the record, though, I’m going to give you a warning. If you hurt her, I’m bringing you down.”
Phillip smiled and shook his head. “I care for her, Mike. I always have. I wouldn’t hurt her for the world. You’ll see. My word.”
“Then that’s good enough for me.”
“Come on.” He gave Mike a heartfelt smile. “We probably have time before dinner to pick up a new cap at the auto parts store.”
“Looks like someone else might like to go.”
Phillip turned in the direction Mike indicated. Ian was hovering near the corner of the garage, tracing designs in the sand with his foot.
“Have you apologized to everyone?”
Ian nodded, but continued to stare at the ground.
“What about me?”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
Phillip squatted down to Ian’s level. “Don’t I get a hug with that?”
Relief flooded the boy’s face. He ran forward and tossed his arms around Phillip’s neck. “You mean you still love me?”
“Of course, I do. Come on. Let’s change into some clothes so we can go to town.”
“Oscar, too?”
Philip glanced over to where Oscar was nosing around the jug of antifreeze. “Get out of there. Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He yanked the container away and put it out of reach on the shelf.
Oscar jumped back and wagged his tail.
“Would that stuff really hurt him?” Ian asked, his eyes wide with worry.
“It could. Dogs love the sweet taste and try to drink it.” He shook his head. “It’s pure poison but they don’t know it.”
Ian tugged on the dog’s collar. “Come on, Oscar. You don’t want that stuff. Let’s go for a ride instead.”
A jackrabbit darted by the garage and Oscar took off in pursuit.
“Oscar!” Ian yelled.
Phillip chuckled. “He’ll be back soon enough. Let’s go in and clean up before it gets too late and the stores close.”
“I heard that,” Zach shouted from the porch. “I’ve been slaving over this grill all afternoon. No one’s going anywhere until after dinner. I’m putting it on the table now.”
Phillip scooted Ian toward the house. “You heard the man. Let’s eat.”
Rowan heard them clatter inside. They were at the table before Zach could put the platter of steaks before them.
Phillip fit too nicely into their lives. She couldn’t help but wonder if there was a promise of a future behind that searing kiss of his. It certainly wasn’t the kiss of a man preparing to share his life with someone else.
Rowan nearly laughed out loud. He’d be crazy to give up everything for her and she didn’t have the option of leaving the Marine Corps for another three years. One thing was certain. She couldn’t stay on this emotional seesaw any longer. It was time the two of them talked.
The blast from her landline interrupted her thoughts.
Zach plopped a potato onto her plate. “Let the answering machine get it. Food’s getting cold. You need to eat.”
She laughed at him and stabbed a steak. On the counter behind them, the machine picked up.
“The warnings are over,” a man said, his voice muffled and distorted. “Tonight it’s your dog. Next time, it’s your kid.”
The line went dead.
It seemed an eternity before any of them moved, then they jumped for the door. Phillip raced across the yard to the garage, shouting Oscar’s name.
The dog lifted his muzzle from a puddle of antifreeze and staggered toward them.
“Oh, no!” Rowan clenched her fist to her mouth in a vain effort to stay calm while Phillip scooped Oscar into his arms. “Take him to the van! We’ve got to rush him to the vet or he’ll die.”