Nearly a week passed before I saw Matthew next. He’d called me several days earlier, telling me the date and time of initiation had been set. It had been a short conversation, neither one of us knowing quite what to say outside of an official Society capacity. I didn’t demand an apology but silently expected to receive one. It didn’t come. When we hung up, I didn’t know what we were to each other anymore.

I wished we could go back to the short time I’d spent in his apartment. It had felt like we were a real couple, even if only for a moment. Now it felt like talking with someone after a one-night stand, neither one knowing how to behave.

But I tried to focus on the good news the call brought—that my candidacy was over. I was going to be initiated into the True North Society. It was such a wonderful culmination of everything I’d been through the past few months; my life had become so drastically different, it was almost hard to believe what a short span of time had passed. And during that period, I’d also met my father, an experience that had been frustrating, disturbing, and comforting all at the same time.

I so wanted to tell someone about my acceptance—it was more exciting to me than any college acceptance letter—but there was really no one I could tell. I ended up sharing it with Becca, and she was happy for me, but only understood so much.

It was hard adjusting back to real life without school or a job. Mom didn’t know about the GED, so I still had to act like I was going to school each morning. I didn’t feel right about hanging out at Hot Coffee all the time, though I did stop in there one more time during the week, and that time Candace had also been working. Since word had already spread that I was back, she didn’t harp on at me as much as I’d been afraid of.

While I was there, Mallory had even stopped in and we shared a look the others didn’t notice. Even though there were no displays of new mutual respect—and maybe even some friendship—she remained relatively courteous to the three of us—just enough not to arouse suspicion things had changed. Once she was gone, Candace even mentioned their theory that Mallory had been abducted along with me. I had to laugh at that.

Matthew was supposed to pick me up at 7 p.m. Friday night, for which I’d meet him in the parking lot. I was shaking with nervous excitement when it was time to leave, so I told Mom that Alexis was already waiting outside as I rushed to give her a kiss on the cheek and bolted out the door.

“Be safe!” she called after me before the door fully closed.

As I followed the path from my front door, I noticed a boy sitting on the curb, slouched forward on his knees. It took me a moment to realize it was Sean. He’d texted me multiple times since I’d gotten home, but I didn’t return any of the messages. I contemplated going back inside, but instead simply slowed my pace.

At the sound of someone approaching, he twisted around and tried to smile. “Fiona,” he said.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked, though my focus was on the cars in the parking lot, wondering if Matthew was already there. I didn’t immediately spot the Land Rover.

“Working up the courage to knock on your door,” he said, turning back to face the lot.

I stopped next to him, still scanning the parked cars. “How long have you been here?”

“I dunno. Twenty—thirty minutes?” He sounded so defeated and sad.

I sighed and took a seat on the curb next to him. “Why?”

It was obvious he wanted to look at me, but couldn’t seem to do it, his gaze continually dropping to between his knees. “I’ve needed to talk to you ever since you came home.”

“Okay; then talk.” My words probably came out colder than I’d intended them to, but with Matthew arriving any moment, I needed him to get to the point.

“I heard you didn’t find your father,” he said.

“That’s right.”

“I’m sorry. I know how much that would have meant to you.”

“Everyone’s told me to manage my expectations, so that’s what I’ve done. It’s okay. I’m okay,” I said with a shrug. I could still feel myself shaking from the anticipation of tonight’s event, so I hugged my elbows, trying to steady myself.

“Are you cold? You’re shaking like crazy.” Sean looked like he was considering putting an arm around me but thankfully didn’t act on his instinct.

“No. I’m fine,” I insisted, hugging myself tighter, though it wasn’t working. “So, why are you here?”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past few months, and—and my life just hasn’t been the same without you. I should’ve never given up on you because of your need to find your father. I’ve known that for a long time. We were a team and I know I let you down. But I want you to know I’m all in. I love you more than anything and I’ll help you search for him until the world ends.”

His choice of words was eerie. He had no idea how soon the world was going to end. I’d barely had a chance to wrap my head around that startling information myself.

“Is this because I left without telling anyone?” I asked.

“No,” he answered. “I’d planned to say this before I even knew you were gone. Your mother told me you were gone when I’d come to say exactly this. I don’t want to go another day without you. I know I’ve been an asshole, but I’ll do anything to make up for that.” He paused, taking in a nervous breath. “I’ve turned down NYU since I know you want to stay local. I want to—”

“You did what?” I exclaimed, not believing what I was hearing. “That was your dream.”

“You are my dream, Fiona. I know we’re meant to be together.”

“No, no, no… you shouldn’t have done that,” I said, shaking my head.

His gaze was on me now, his eyes more hopeful despite my verbal protests. Sean shifted his body toward me and grabbed one of my hands.

“I don’t expect everything to be forgiven all at once,” he said, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. “But I’m here to stay and I’m not going to let you go.”

I didn’t know what to say. I glanced out into the parking lot, expecting to see a Land Rover pulling up, but it was still empty of any moving vehicles.

“This is a lot to take in,” I said.

“We have time. I’m not going to rush you.”

I was considering a response when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Thinking Matthew was providing me with an update as to why he was late, I took my hand back and retrieved my phone.

It was a Facebook Messenger notification from… Abigail

Hi, Fiona. This is Abigail. I found your picture of my parents outside. It took me a while to track you down, then I didn’t know if I should message you. But here I am. I’d like to talk.

“Fiona, what’s wrong?” Sean asked. “Who’s that?”

The phone was shaking uncontrollably in my hand. Why was all this happening now? I could only survive being blindsided so many times in the same day.

“It’s… umm… nothing,” I said.

“Let me see.” Sean reached for my phone, but I quickly stuffed it back into my pocket. I could only imagine what my face looked like in that moment. “It was him, wasn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“That guy… Matthew.”

“No,” I scoffed, sounding offended, then heard the engine of an approaching vehicle and cringed. No; that’s Matthew.

I peered up and saw the familiar dark Land Rover coming around the bend of the parking lot. Sean followed my gaze.

I stood up. “I’m sorry, Sean. I really am.”

He didn’t move as the Land Rover came to a halt before us. When I opened the door, I knew Sean got a glimpse of Matthew behind the wheel. I didn’t glance back but watched him through the tinted window as we drove away—at him staring daggers at me.