Isabel hugs herself, still reeling a little from the conversation she’s just had with Mike. She bites her bottom lip as she stands outside Wesley’s bedroom door. She’s lifted her hand to knock more than once, but she hasn’t been able to follow through. By the time she and Mike had finished talking and Isabel had focused her thoughts back onto Wesley for the second part of what is going to definitely go down in history as the day she made one of the biggest decisions of her life if not the biggest, she isn’t even sure if he was still there. It isn’t hard to imagine that Wesley has lost interest in waiting around and has just walked right out the back door, leaving again just like he had before.

That’s partly why she’s still standing outside his room, frozen to the spot, scared to go in. Because, for now, she can still believe that he’s inside, that he hasn’t left again. But once she knocks and he doesn’t answer, that’s when it becomes real again that he’s left without her being able to explain.

“Are you going to stand out there all day or are you actually going to come in?” His voice through the door makes her spirits rise and she can’t help smiling to herself that he could sense her presence, the same way she knows whenever he walks into a room. It is as if the air itself changed, as if the molecules vibrated whenever he is close by.

She pushes the door open and finds him prowling around the room, pacing like a caged animal. He’s not a man that is used to being still, that is something she learned about him from early on. She’d also learned that he tended to pace when he was nervous.

“So, how’s Mike?” He says the name with a little less hate than he had managed to muster before.

“Do you really want to talk about him right now?” She levels a serious gaze at him and watches as he ducks his head in silent agreement with her. She perches on the edge of the bed, watching as he continues to pace around the room. “You came back, Wes. Why?” This, she has decided, is the most important question of all.

“How long have you been sleeping with him?” Wesley’s question comes out through gritted teeth as if he can’t even bear to think about it let alone say the words.

Isabel shakes her head, knowing she’s not going to get any of the answers that she needs to be able to move on until he’s through. “He only arrived yesterday, Wes. It was as much a surprise to me as it was to you.” She waits, knowing there will be more questions coming.

“What did he want?” He doesn’t look at her as he prowls around the room like a panther, but she can feel the tension radiating off of him.

Isabel sighs, knowing Wesley won’t want to hear this, but that he needs to. “He wanted to tell me that he wants to be with me.”

Wesley stops in his tracks, as if her words have frozen him to the spot. “He’s in love with you.”

It’s a statement not a question, but Isabel answers anyway, knowing she needs to. “That’s what he said.”

“And what about you?” Isabel can almost hear him holding his breath.

“What about me?” She shakes her head, angry that she’s the only answering any questions.

“Bel.” His voice is a warning, as if he’s telling her not to play around with him.

“I think it’s my turn to get some answers, don’t you?” She pushes herself up from the bed, her own agitation forcing her to move.

Wesley doesn’t respond but she doesn’t need him to. She’s more than happy to just push on.

“Why did you come back, Wes?”

“You keep asking me the same question.” He shakes his head as if it doesn’t make any sense.

“Because it’s the only answer I care about right now.” She watches him, her arms crossed tightly over her chest so he can’t see her hands shaking.

Wesley looks at her, takes her in with that familiar way he has and then he looks up at the sky, as if he’s looking for some kind of salvation there. “I came back because of you.” Wes’s words are said so softly that, at first, Isabel isn’t sure that she’s actually heard him correctly.

She looks at him, nonplussed, though her heart feels like it’s about to beat out of her chest. “Because you needed someone to patch you up? That cut over your eye looks pretty nasty.” She’s proud of herself for keeping her voice on an even keel.

“No! Jesus, Bel.” Wes closes the distance between them, close enough to touch. “I came back because I miss you.” He yells the words at her as if they were insults rather than endearments. She waits, not daring to move, not daring to say anything before she’s heard everything. “I came back because I miss the smell of you, the taste of you, the way you get a dimple in one of your cheeks when you smile, the way you pretend to be all tough when you’re really the best person I know. I came back because I feel like something’s missing when you’re not with me.” He reaches out to touch her but then seems to think better of it and lets his hand fall back to his side. “But it doesn’t matter anymore, does it? None of it matters. I’m too late.” He rubs the dark stubble on his cheeks, his dark eyes bottomless.

“It’s only too late if you want it to be.” Isabel only just manages to get the words out before her voice threatens to break.

Wesley’s gaze snaps up to meet hers, a question in his eyes. “What about Mike?”

“Mike and I are friends. That’s all we ever should have been; that’s all we ever will be.” Isabel bites her lip, hoping he can’t tell how churned up all her emotions are right now.

“I thought you and he...” He trails off as Isabel shakes her head. “So you didn’t...? I mean, last night you and he didn’t...?” Wesley stops short of actually saying the words, as if even saying them causes him pain.

“I haven’t been with anyone since you, Wes.” She takes a deep breath saying the words she wishes she had said a month ago. “I don’t want to be with anyone else but you ever again.”

Wesley looks at her, his eyes wide. He couldn’t have looked any more shocked if she’d just told him that she’d won the lotto.

Isabel carries on talking, just to fill the void of silence that’s putting her more and more on edge. “I told Mike I love him like a friend, but that’s all, that it wouldn’t be fair to him for me to say anything else.” She shakes her head. “He said he understood. Before he left, he said he could already see that I can’t give him my heart because I’d already given it to someone else.”

She bites her bottom lip, watching as Wesley stares at her in that inscrutable, intense way of his. Before he has a chance to say anything she barrels on, scared that if she doesn’t say everything she has to in one go that she’ll lose her nerve and the chance will be over. “I was so angry with myself that I just let you leave.” She shakes her head, her words brining back all the feelings that were bubbling just under the surface. “When my mother died, I didn’t have a choice. The only thing I could do was watch as she slipped away from me. But with you, with you I could have stood up and fought for what I wanted. And I was scared I would never get to say that to you, that I would never get the chance to tell you how I feel.” She’s babbling now and she’s suddenly become aware of the wetness on her cheeks.

“Bel, stop.” Wes holds his hand up, still staring at her, watching her as if she is some rare creature he isn’t sure how to control.

That’s when she gets an awful feeling. Perhaps she had read this all wrong. Perhaps she has said too much, exposed her feelings to someone who isn’t as sure of his own. She takes a step backwards, as if hedging towards the door, needing to be somewhere away from here, away from him where she could lick her wounds and pretend everything was okay.

“I’m sorry, I thought...” She trails off, turning towards the door, ready to run out of that room as fast as she possibly could.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Wesley’s hand on her shoulder makes her stop.

Instantly she feels the warmth of his hand against her bare skin and her body responds to him immediately. It’s the first time he’s touched her since he walked out and the time apart hasn’t done anything to dampen the desire she feels for him. If anything, it’s made it even more potent.

“Leaving. You said I should stop so...” She shrugs, not knowing what else to say, only knowing she feels like a prize idiot.

“I told you to stop because you were saying all the things that should have come from me.” He reaches his hands up, framing both sides of his face. He wipes her tears away with his thumbs and continues to caress her cheeks.

“But -” She starts to interrupt but he stops her mouth with his finger.

“Let me say this. It’s about time I did. I should have told you so much earlier. I should have told you the first time I saw you because that’s when I knew.” He leans his head closer to hers so their lips are almost touching. “I’m the one who should have fought for what I wanted. I thought I was doing the right thing, leaving you behind. I thought I was doing the safe thing but really I was just being a coward.” He shakes his head but doesn’t let Isabel say that particular word is not one that she would ever use to describe him. “The idea of anything happening to you scared me so much I couldn’t cope. I knew I would never be able to live with the guilt. But what I hadn’t realized was I would never be able to live without you either.” Gently, he caresses her face and angles her head up so that she looks into his eyes. “I love you, Bel. My beautiful Isabel.”

He closes the distance between them and the moment his lips touch hers, Isabel feels fireworks explode behind her eyes. It’s the sweetest kiss she’s ever had and she feels it all the way into her core. It feels like belonging, like coming home.

All rational thought flies out of her head. She has no need for it right now; all she needs is Wesley and his mouth on hers, his hands on her body.

“I want you.” He whispers the words against her lips when they both take a breath.

“So take me.” She falls into him, inviting, willing, lifting her hands so he can pull her cami top over her head. Instantly his hands are on her breasts, stroking her hard nipples, making her moan against his mouth. He ducks his head down and kisses her left breast and then her right, taking his time to pay each one equal attention. He nuzzles her, his tongue flicking out and drawing lazy circles around her nipples, a pattern that she feels like he’s searing into her skin.

Her pussy aches for him and she knows she’s never wanted any man as much as she wants Wesley in this moment. Her hands go to his waist, pushing up his shirt, wanting to feel his warm skin against hers. It’s more than a desire; it’s a desperate need. She feels like she might explode if she doesn’t get to have it.

He discards his t-shirt by his side, bending down again to take her nipples into his mouth. Her back arches, as she thrusts her chest towards him, inviting him to taste her harder, deeper. He pulls on her right nipple, using his teeth to graze her, giving her exactly the right balance of pain and pleasure. It’s more than she thinks she can handle.

Wesley grinds his erection against her hip, making no secret of exactly how much he wants her. Desperately, Isabel struggles with the buttons of his jeans, grabbing at them, needing to feel his desire for her, needing to feel his hard heaviness in her hand. Wesley lets his pants fall to the ground and Isabel is inordinately pleased when she realizes there are no boxer shorts to remove.

She bites her lip, looking down as she strokes his hardness, her pussy aching with desire. Wesley follows her gaze, grinning at her wickedly and she knows he has no plans for this to be quick. He’s going to draw out her pleasure deliciously. His hands go to her hips, pushing down her shorts and, without a pause, his hand is there, in-between her thighs, where the heat feels like it’s going to burn her up from the inside out.

His clever fingers dip into her wetness and she cries out as he starts to stroke her, first softly, patiently but quickly becoming insistent, touching her in exactly the way she needs. He finds her clit, his thumb alternately tracing circles around it and rubbing it hard. He keeps his thumb on her clit and enters her with one finger and then two, pushing her open, invading her. It’s too much, the pleasure overtakes her and her hips buck with the force of her orgasm, once, twice, three times. She cries out and has to hold on to his shoulders, feeling like her legs are in danger of giving out on her.

Her legs are useless and Wesley picks her up, taking her to the bed and laying her out underneath him. His eyes devour her, taking every inch of her in as if he’s memorizing everything about her. “My beautiful Bel.” He shakes his head as if he doesn’t quite believe he’s here with her.

Isabel lifts her hand up, pleading with him to take it, needing the feel of his skin against hers, the contact between them. He smiles wickedly at her and she feels the anticipation pooling between her legs again. His hands stroke her thighs, moving up to her hips, her flat belly, until he’s plucking at her nipples again, making her moan and wriggle underneath him.

“Wes. Please.” Her voice is a moan and it’s enough to break his control. He lies on top of her, kissing her hard, his tongue exploring all the crevices and parts of her mouth, possessing her.

One hand goes into his hair, the other slips between them, wrapping around his shaft and tugging him gently. She watches as his eyes widen in pleasure as she runs her thumb along the collection of nerve endings just under the tip of his cock and she feels it jump in her hand.

“Bel.” Her name is a warning on his lips and she knows he’s telling her he’s not going to be able to hang on for much longer if she keeps doing what she’s doing. That’s just fine with her. She just wants to guide him to the hot, wet spot between her thighs, to somewhere that his hardness will do some good.

Isabel guides him to her entrance and he watches her, his breathing labored now, as if he’s trying to hold onto the last shred of his control. She rubs him along her wet lips, moaning as he finds her clit and grinds his tip against it. The delicious pressure on her clit is enough to drive her wild; she can’t stand it anymore and helps him inside of her.

Her name is a strangled cry on his lips as he enters her with one quick thrust, filling her up. He waits, pausing as her muscles adjust around him. She lifts her knees, bringing him even deeper inside of her.

“Bel, you’re so tight. You’re so hot and tight.” His words come in ragged gasps as he thrusts into her, pulling almost all the way out of her until it’s just his tip left inside and then he plunges his hips against hers again, making her cry out as he fills her up.

He picks up the pace and her hips match his rhythm, thrust for thrust. Isabel closes her eyes, becoming all feeling as one hand strokes her back lovingly as he holds her in place and the other finds its way down between them until he’s stroking her clit. The combination of his cock inside of her and his fingers massaging her clit is just too much. She’s so close she can almost taste it.

“Let me see you, Bel. I need to see you.” Her eyes fly open at his words and she sees that his eyes are locked on her, his dark eyes intense and fiery with desire. “I’m so fucking close, Bel.”

He thrusts into her again, hard and she cries out, riding the wave of the orgasm that she knows is about to shatter her into a million pieces. Heat spreads out from between her thighs through her entire body. She calls out his name as the friction of his thrusting inside of her paralyzes her with pleasure. He pumps into her one final time, her name on his lips when he finds his own release, collapsing on top of her and nuzzling her neck, smelling her as if he just can’t get enough of her into his senses.

Slowly, they both come back to Earth. Their breathing returns to some semblance of normal. Wesley kisses her softly, gently, sweetly on the lips before he moves onto his back, pulling her close next to him. She cuddles up beside him, finding her spot in his arms, as if she had never left.

Isabel thinks back to her conversation with Mike. She gets a flash of pain as she remembers the raw emotion that played across his face as she told him she couldn’t be with him. He hadn’t been surprised. It wasn’t as if this was the first time she’d said the words, but it seemed to be the first time he’d believed them.

Mike had said that once he’d seen her and Wesley together, “I had pretty much figured it was game over.” He’d smiled when he’d said the words but Isabel had seen the pain in his eyes and something else even more foreign to him: resignation. She had never known him to give up on anything, on anyone. He had never had to before. She had been the first. She had tried to tell herself she should want to be with someone like Mike, that she should forget about the guy she couldn’t have, the guy who made it abundantly clear that she wasn’t safe with him. But her heart had won out over her mind. And her heart told her she didn’t feel as safe anywhere as when she was in Wesley’s arms.

“What are you thinking about?” Wesley’s voice, a whisper against her ear, makes her shiver, bringing her back into the here and now, in bed with him.

She shrugs, not wanting to admit to Wesley that she was thinking about another man, no matter how innocent.

“He’ll be all right, you know?” Wesley has yet again read her mind, as he is wont to do.

“I know. I know. It’s just...It’s just I wish things could be how they were. I wish we could just be friends again, without any of the other crap getting in the way.” Isabel gestures vaguely to denote what ‘crap’ she’s talking about.

“It’ll happen, Bel. Just give it some time. You’re not someone who’s easy to get over.” He kisses her lightly on the forehead. “You can trust me on that one.”

She smiles slightly as he pulls her even closer against him, as if he’s worried she might escape, that he might wake up in the morning and find her gone.

Isabel takes a deep breath, ready to ask the question that she knows she may not want to hear the answer to, but that she needs. “So what happens next?”

“Next? You’re going to kill me, you know?” He slides his hand farther down her back, until he’s cupping her butt and she wriggles against him, knowing exactly what he’s talking about.

“Come on, you’re not that old.” She rolls her eyes dramatically and is rewarded with a soft swat on the behind. She giggles again before she composes herself. “I’m serious, though. What happens tomorrow?”

Wesley strokes the dark hair off of her face, cupping her chin between his fingers. “Let’s deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. For now, let’s just be together. Let’s just enjoy this.” His hand moves around to her belly diving deeper until he strokes the tight runway of curls in between her thighs.

Before she loses the ability to think at all, one final thought goes through her head. Please don’t go. Please don’t leave again.