CHAPTER TEN
PILLOWTALK
Ava stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror while she brushed her teeth with a new toothbrush. She wore a big Florida Gators T-shirt that reached mid-thigh—it wasn’t exactly a sexy teddy, but she still felt a little bit naughty. Wearing Jesse’s shirt had more appeal than she wanted it to, but she couldn’t deny how much she was attracted to him, and, like he said, their chemistry went beyond the physical. Ah, but right now . . . the physical attraction was causing an ache that only Jesse could ease. And damn, she couldn’t deny that she was curious what it would feel like to make love to him. Asshat Anthony had really done a number on Ava’s confidence, but it would be totally wrong to sleep with Jesse just to gauge his reaction. If the hot-tub kiss was any indication . . . they would surely scorch the sheets. In truth, Ava already knew full well she was playing with fire. Not only staying at Jesse’s house but sleeping in his bed . . . She was basically asking for trouble.
Her earlier buzz had evaporated, so she couldn’t blame the booze for her decision to stay over. And hurting Jesse really was a concern. He might say he was willing to take the chance, but words and feelings didn’t always end up at the same place.
Ava tried to take her mind off her current predicament by looking around the retro-style bathroom. Small black and white tiles on the floor, a pedestal sink, and bold green tiled walls trimmed in black made it look like a bathroom straight out of the 1950s. The only modern addition was a walk-in shower.
Ava rinsed her mouth and inhaled a deep breath, suddenly second-guessing her ridiculous decision to sleep in a bed with a man who made her tingle from a mere touch. Tossing and turning all night was a given. Okay, she needed to march right in there and tell him she hadn’t been thinking straight and that she needed to get her ass home. With a lift of her chin, she boldly opened the door with good intentions in mind . . .
But Jesse stood there in black athletic shorts. He pointed to the barricade of rolled blankets he had made down the center of the bed. “I did it. You’re safely out of touching range.”
Ava forced a smile and tried not to stare at his deliciously bare chest . . . and in that heated moment she realized there were few things in life she wanted more than Jesse Heart. Few? She tried to think of one and came up blank. Zero. The answer was a great big goose egg.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll have to blow the carefully constructed barricade to smithereens, even though I’m not really sure what smithereens are.”
“Pieces, fragments,” Ava whispered.
“Ah, then yes, smithereens it is,” Jesse said, holding her gaze.
Ava’s heart thudded so hard she thought surely it would beat right out of her chest like a cartoon character. She was totally smitten.
“Ava . . . should I get my detonator ready?” He raised his hand as if he had his thumb at the ready.
Ava looked at his blue eyes, shaggy hair, and sexy golden blond stubble shadowing his cheeks. His strong build, defined but not bulky, was her weakness . . .
No, he was her weakness.
“What are you thinking?” Jesse asked in a soft tone that soothed her nerves just a bit.
“That you’re my weakness.”
“Really? I think I could be your strength, Ava,” he joked, but then he fell silent for a moment. “Okay, there’s a bottle of water on the nightstand.”
“Thank you.”
“I aim to please.”
“Wait, no chocolate on the pillow?” she joked, but he arched an eyebrow and she gasped. “No . . .” She walked over and lifted the pillow, and sure enough, there was a little silver foil square—a chocolate mint. For some reason, the small gesture brought a lump to her throat. While she didn’t even want to think of Anthony, it occurred to her that he’d never made such a sweet gesture. She unwrapped the treat and popped it into her mouth.
“You look cute, by the way,” Jesse said, but then cleared his throat. “Okay, time for some shut-eye.”
“Shut-eye?”
“Well, I would say sleep, but I’m not sure how I’m going to do that with you lying in my bed.”
“Jesse, this—”
“Yeah, it’s a bad idea, but at this point we’re committed to it.”
“No—” Ava began, but he gestured to her side of the bed.
“Good night, Ava.” He hopped onto his side and squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that she grinned. When he made loud snoring noises she giggled.
Ava licked a bit of chocolate from the corner of her mouth. She slid beneath the cool sheets and put her head on a soft feather pillow, facing him. Or, well, the barricade separating them. “It’s dark,” Ava whispered.
“Out here next to the ocean there aren’t any streetlights. And everyone knows to turn their lights off so as not to confuse wildlife, especially the sea turtles.”
“Oh . . .”
“Yes, my little city girl.”
“Do you ever open the windows to hear the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.”
“Yes, do you want me to?”
“Please.”
“You got it.”
Ava heard the rustle of the sheets and the soft patter of Jesse’s bare feet on the tile floor. He opened the windows across the room and then crawled back beneath the sheets. “Thank you,” she said, and then fell silent. She could hear him breathing, smell the spicy scent of his aftershave, and the realization that she could reach over the barricade and encounter his warm skin nearly made her groan. But she’d laid down the law, and she should stick to her guns. The problem was, she didn’t want to. No, she wanted to toss her guns out the window.
Ava gritted her teeth. She needed to be strong. Disciplined. “Dammit,” she whispered.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing.”
“No, you said something.”
“I must have been talking in my sleep.”
“You’re not asleep.”
“I think I was. You woke me with your question.”
Jesse chuckled.
“You did!” Ava insisted, and then squeezed her eyes shut. “Now I’m going back to sleep,” she announced, determinedly turning away from him. But after a few minutes she turned back, since it was her preferred side. Still, sleep failed to come. Then she got hot, so she tossed the covers aside, only to feel cold a little while later, and so she pulled the covers back up to her chin. And Jesse, damn him, seemed to be fast asleep. Well . . .
Ava lay there very quietly, barely breathing, trying to listen to Jesse to see if he was indeed sleeping or faking. Seriously, didn’t it bother him that she was only an arm’s length away? Ava realized her lips were extended into a pout.
And then she had to pee.
Just ignore it, she thought, willing her bladder to grow bigger. To her credit, she lasted about ten more minutes before she couldn’t hold out any longer. Without any choice, she silently slipped from the bed . . . but dammit, it was so dark! Where the hell was the bathroom?
Ava stood there in indecision. Should she wake Jesse? No . . . she decided, and crept forward, inch by inch, with her palms raised in front of her. Surely the bathroom must be getting closer, she thought, heart pounding, breath coming in short spurts.
“What in the world are you doing?” Jesse asked, making Ava nearly jump out of her skin.
“Trying to find the bathroom!”
“Want me to turn on the light?”
“No!”
“Why?”
“Then I’ll fully wake up.”
“You’re walking and talking. I think that’s fully awake.”
“But I’m still drowsy,” she insisted, even though she was far from it. She did a yawn that sounded so fake she nearly laughed.
“Okay, I’ll help you,” Jesse said, and before Ava could utter a protest, he was at her side with his warm hand on her elbow, smelling good while he helped her ease her way forward.
“How do you know where to go?”
“I live here,” he said in a tone laced with amusement.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Yes,” he said, and opened a door. “There’s a night-light, so you should be okay.”
“Thanks, you can go back to bed.”
“I’ll wait for you.”
Ava thought about protesting, but she was a teensy bit afraid of the dark, and this was some serious darkness. “Okay,” she said in a small voice. She hurried in and did her business in the soft light of a seashell-shaped night-light. She washed her hands and then decided to rinse her mouth and smooth back her hair. Why? She had no idea.
“You okay in there?”
“Fine,” Ava replied, drying her hands and running her tongue over her teeth before opening the door.
“Link your arm in mine so I can help you over to the bed.”
“Okay.” Ava made the mistake of doing what he asked. She could feel the ripple of his bicep muscle, hard, like a softball. By the time they reached the bed she was so worked up that she nearly pulled him down with her. “Thank you,” she said primly.
“No problem,” Jesse said, and left her to go to his side of the barricade.
Ava scooted beneath the covers and pulled the silky-soft sheet up to her chin. She decided that if she remained on her back, that would eliminate tossing and turning, so she laid there, stiff as a statue. Oh God, what if she snored? Drooled? Farted?
“Good night,” Jesse said in a regular tone . . . not in a frustrated-as-hell or afraid-of-farting tone.
“ ’Night,” Ava replied lightly.
“You’re not going to fall asleep, are you?”
“I’ll probably be sleepless in Sea Breeze.”
“I have melatonin pills if you want some.”
“I’m okay. Wait, do you suffer from insomnia?”
Jesse hesitated for a heartbeat. “Yeah.”
Ava frowned, wondering about the cause, but didn’t want to pry. “Me too.”
“Want one?”
“I tried it, but sometimes it causes crazy dreams.”
Jesse chuckled. “I know. But sleeping pills? I tried that too. I would get up in the middle of the night, eat odd stuff, and not remember it the next day.”
“Odd stuff?”
“Like a tub of Cool Whip.”
“Yuck. Maybe we should just count sheep.”
“If only it were that easy.”
Ava felt another connection to him. She knew how frustrating insomnia could be and longed to reach over and hold his hand. “Sometimes I’ll turn on the television and watch HSN in the middle of the night. Then I’ll get deliveries of kitchen gadgets and odd tunics that somehow looked stylish.”
Jesse chuckled.
“No, seriously, I once ordered a wig.”
“No . . .”
“I kid you not.” She giggled.
“You wanna watch now and order something stupid?”
“No! I might end up with . . . I dunno, a chia pet!”
“And what’s wrong with a chia pet?”
“Ohmigod, you do the same thing.”
“You’ve seen my house.”
“You’re a million times worse than me. You need a second storage shed.” Ava laughed so hard that the bed shook. “Okay, seriously, we should get some shut-eye.”
“I shut my eyes. I just don’t fall asleep.”
“You really think that’s gonna happen?”
“You mean you weren’t sleeping earlier?” Ava asked softly, smiling into the darkness.
“There’s no way. Having you in my bed brings insomnia to a new level.”
“Then why did you ask me to sleep in here?”
“I wanted you next to me,” he said simply. “Aw, dammit.” He removed part of the barricade.
“Imploding?”
“Only enough to hold your hand,” he said. “Not that I don’t want smithereens.”
Ava smiled when he reached over and took her hand. And in that magical moment, her armor cracked, allowing hope to creep into her heart. Her fingers threaded with his, Ava felt a sense of calmness. She didn’t need a barricade to trust him.
Her eyes fluttered shut, and within minutes, she fell fast asleep.
Ava woke up in small degrees, engaging all her senses. First, her fingers encountered something soft and smooth, and she sighed, sinking into the sensation. She inhaled a deep breath of . . . mmmm . . . clean citrus, woodsy musk. With a sleepy sigh she stirred and felt her leg slip over something strong, solid. Her mouth was pressed against velvety warmth and when she licked her lips there, her tongue touched . . . skin?
What?
Ava opened her eyes a mere slit and saw skin . . . lots of skin, a dusting of chest hair. She swallowed, and her heart picked up speed when she realized the so-called barricade had become demolished sometime in the dead of the night. She was wrapped around Jesse like kudzu, and the even rise and fall of his chest indicated he was fast asleep.
Ava frowned, trying to piece together how she’d gotten into this position. They hadn’t . . . no, she would have remembered every detail of making love to Jesse Heart. But how did she get draped over him?
Ava inhaled another deep breath, noting the fingers of sunlight that reached through the blinds and indicated that morning had broken. Now what should she do?
She pressed her lips together, wondering if she could oh-so-slowly untangle herself without waking Jesse. Then, she decided that savoring the feeling of being entwined would be okay for just a few more heavenly minutes—maybe she’d even drift back to sleep—so she closed her eyes and sighed.
“Are you awake?”
Ava’s eyes flew open, but then she wondered if she should fake sleep, and then surprise at being in his arms. Should she immediately demand an explanation? Shove him away? But then it dawned on her that she was draped over him. Damn. Okay, but maybe he was the one who’d torn down the barricade, thus initiating the . . . entanglement.
“Ava? I know you’re awake,” Jesse said in a tone laced with humor.
“How did the barricade disappear?” she asked in what she hoped was a rather accusatory tone, but she sounded breathless instead. Damn, again.
“Well, you tossed and turned, basically destroying it.”
“Oh.”
“And then you snuggled closer and closer.”
“Oh,” Ava repeated. “Sorry,” she said in a small voice.
“I’m not in the least,” he said in a deep, sleep-graveled voice that slid over her like silk. “In fact, I’ve been awake, trying to stay as still as possible just to prolong having you wrapped around me. I’m not afraid to say it.”
Not knowing what to say, Ava remained silent.
“And trying to fight what you’re doing to me . . . but failing. Miserably.”
Ava blinked, realizing what he was saying. She longed to slide her hand south to touch the erection she could feel poking under her leg. In fact, she wanted to explore his entire body inch by delicious inch.
“We either have to get going or I’m going to roll over and kiss you the way I’ve been fantasizing about for the past God-knows-how-long.”
“I haven’t brushed my teeth!”
“We can remedy that.”
“Jesse . . .”
“Okay, I’ll stop,” he said, but when he made a move to get up, Ava pressed her hand to his chest. “Jesse,” she said again. She could feel the rapid thud of his heart, and she knew what she had to tell him.