11
Remi
When Remi pulled his car into the driveway on Friday morning, he was astonished he was still able to keep his eyes open. He was bone tired and drained from a grueling shift. All he wanted was to collapse into his bed and sleep all day, but he knew he couldn’t if he wanted to keep his body clock running properly. He could only afford a few hours shut-eye at best.
After killing the ignition, he leaned back in his seat and stared at nothing for a while.
He hated the days where they couldn’t save everyone.
There had been a nasty pileup on the interstate. Remi would have to do his best to wipe the images he’d seen from his mind and move on. This was just the way it was in this line of work. After a few days, he would be able to assure himself of all the people they had helped, the lives they had saved. But for now, it was all a bit too raw.
Funnily enough, the one thing that had cheered him up on the drive home had been remembering the house wouldn’t be empty when he got there. Just knowing that Kris would be around when Remi stepped through the front door somehow helped Remi to feel lighter. Things remained a bit stilted between them. They were still getting to know one another, after all. But Kris was starting to relax more, and he had been thrilled to get a new tank for his fish yesterday morning.
It was sweet how much he loved that little pet. Remi had never thought about fish having personalities before, but she absolutely did. He was stunned at how much food she ate and the way she came to nibble at Kris’s fingers was adorable. Remi had overheard Kris talking to her over the past couple of days, too. He put on such a flashy, sassy persona, but Remi was starting to suspect Kris was a sweetheart underneath all that.
It was like they were dancing around, each afraid they were going to upset the other. It was clear Kris still felt like he was an imposition and Remi wasn’t sure how to assure him that wasn’t the case at all. Maybe they needed to do something together, like buddies would – watch a dumb movie with popcorn or play a video game. The trouble was Remi wasn’t sure what Kris would like to do. Did they even enjoy any of the same stuff?
Remi sighed and stretched in the car seat, fiddling with his keys. At least living together was making him more domesticated. He’d gone around the whole house on Wednesday and picked up all his laundry, done a load and made sure all the dishes were washed, too. When there was someone else sharing the same space, Remi found he was suddenly far more conscientious of being less of a slob.
There had been several times on Wednesday Remi had tried to broach the subject of coming out to Kris, but each time he had chickened out. No matter how he looked at it, every time Remi felt like he was somehow using Kris. They weren’t good enough friends yet for him to come out just because he wanted to. It was painfully obvious to him that he wanted to talk to Kris about this situation simply because he was also a queer man. That didn’t feel right.
But after such a shitty shift, Remi discovered that he was really looking forward to seeing Kris specifically, not just because he happened to be the person living with him at the moment. Kris was sweet and kind and a good listener, or so Remi had experienced so far. Even if he wasn’t in the house right then, Remi felt like he’d want to give Kris a call and chat with him anyway.
So perhaps they were on their way to a real, solid friendship, like Remi had with Kris’s brother, Leon. He hoped so. He wanted to talk to Kris about what was on his mind.
Not so much the crash. Kris didn’t need to know the details of the aftermath of the accident Remi had witnessed last night. But he did want to talk to him about Travis and what their argument had highlighted for Remi. Namely, that he might finally feel confident enough to come out.
There was still another niggle of hesitation bothering Remi, he thought as he wasted more time wiping dust off the car’s dashboard. He’d read enough online to know that some gay guys thought bisexual people weren’t really gay enough, or that they were just straight people going through an experimental phase. Remi bit his thumbnail and looked at the front door leading him inside to Kris. It might just break his heart if Kris thought he was ‘less than’ or something. Remi’s gut, which was usually pretty intuitive, told him that Kris wouldn’t be like that. But Remi wanted to make sure before he wrecked their friendship before it even got a chance to bloom.
At least things with Travis were tolerable. Neither of them had apologized, but Remi took the fact that he hadn’t had to apologize as a victory. In the meantime, they’d gotten through their shift yesterday being civil and professional. No doubt Travis would take another jab soon enough. But for now, Remi felt like he’d won this particular battle.
With that thought buoying him a little, Remi finally got out of his car, stepping onto the driveway already radiating heat in the mid-morning sun. He’d had to work an extra hour to get everything in order after such a bad call so late in the night. But it was worth it. He could leave all that behind him for a couple of days.
He was excited to think he and Kris might get a chance to hang out again. Perhaps this time it would be less stiff. Kris was at something of a loose end while the fire investigation was still pending on his job and home. Maybe they could go out for dinner later or catch a movie. Everyone liked doing that, right? It would be a Friday night, after all. Remi liked to make the most of those when he could.
He pulled the bug screen toward him, turned his key in the lock and pushed the front door inward, stepping inside his front room. Then he stopped, stepped backward, and checked he had the right house number.
How was this his place?
“Oh my god, you’re home!” a voice cried. As Remi slowly stepped back inside his house, Kris came sliding out from the kitchen looking frazzled. His hair was standing up at all angles and the shadows under his eyes suggested he might not have slept all that much. Remi wouldn’t be surprised. He had apparently stayed up all night decorating Remi’s living room.
Or not decorating, exactly. The walls hadn’t been painted. But there wasn’t a cardboard box in sight. The curtains were properly hung. There were pictures and mirrors fixed on the wall, some which he recognized and some he didn’t. There were candles on tables and his DVD collection had been displayed on a bookcase he had been meaning to construct for about six months. There were family photos that he thought might have been printed off Facebook standing in frames.
The carpet had been vacuumed and the table top polished. There was a plant in the corner by the TV (which had been dusted) that definitely hadn’t been there before. The comic book postcards that Remi had been collecting for a while were all arranged artfully on a cork board.
Kris grabbed his hair and looked like he was going to cry as Remi covered his mouth and stared in wonder. “I’m so sorry,” Kris moaned. “I just got carried away. I only meant to do a bit to say thank you for everything, but then it was four in the morning and it occurred to me that it might be a serious overstepping of boundaries. But I’d had so much coffee by then I just kept going and it was only when dawn came I realized I’d opened so many boxes and you might not like it, and, oh, god, I’m so sorry! I really hope you’re not too mad. I had good intentions, but you know what they say about those, and if you want me to put it all back or move out, I totally understand-”
He ground to a halt. Probably because Remi had sniffed quite loudly.
He was fucking tired and it had been such a shitty shift and this was one of the single nicest, most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for him.
“I love it,” Remi said, dropping his hand to his chest and doing his best to blink back tears. His dad always told him ‘real men don’t cry’ but damn it, he was overwhelmed by emotion. “It’s incredible. It looks like a home. You did all this in a day?”
Kris dropped his hands from his hair, a hopeful smile creeping onto his lips. “Uh, yeah. You like it? It’s okay?”
Remi shook his head. “Dude, no. I fucking love it. It’s amazing. You really didn’t have to do anything like this. I…honestly, this rocks so hard. Damn.”
Kris bit his lip and grinned. It was only then did Remi appreciate he was wearing one of Leon’s old T-shirts with a pair of jeans. But he’d cut the bottom half away to make it a crop top and opened up the neck so it hung off his right shoulder.
Remi was momentarily taken aback by what the sight of so much toned skin did to him. Wow, he really must have been tired. This was Kris Novak. Remi remembered when he was a tantruming toddler, a shy gangly teen. He wasn’t either of those things anymore, though. He was a grown man, and a cute one at that.
Remi shook himself mentally, refocusing on the here and now. It must be the incredible gratitude, but his heart was aching with happiness. And it was all thanks to Kris.
“Uh,” Remi said, his own grin growing as he continued looking around the room. “Wow. Sorry, I feel like crap, but after a nap, I’ll definitely tell you how much I love this all over again.”
Kris looked bashful but slightly excited, too. “You want to see your bedroom?” he asked.
Remi barked out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “You did not do this to my room as well?”
Kris turned his knee in a coy gesture and pretended to twirl his hair. “Maaayy-be,” he said, fluttering his eyelashes.
Remi shook his head and laughed again. “Show me!” he commanded with a grin so big it was hurting his cheeks. He held his hand out to the stairs. “Lead the way!”
Kris gave a little wiggle, then dashed up the stairs with Remi right behind him. Remi’s heart was racing already. Despite feeling beyond tired, he was suddenly giddy with excitement.
Again, Remi recognized several items in his room from stuff he’d had lying around or that had been sitting in boxes for the past couple of years, like the lamps on the bedside dressers. There were things his mom had given him when he’d moved out and stuff from his old room back at the family house. But there were also numerous pieces, mostly the photos frames, that Remi had definitely never seen before.
He looked around in awe at his room. Once again, there were candles arranged on shelves and the windowsill. Remi’s old Hidden Creek High Bears jersey was framed and hanging on the wall, and one of the old footballs he’d once thrown around with his dad was standing on a little plinth on top of his chest of drawers. There was a collection of ticket stubs in a glass jar with a cork lid.
Remi covered his mouth again as he took it all in. “Did you buy all this new stuff?” he asked, feeling guilty. Kris didn’t have the money right now to be spending like that on him. Or at all. They didn’t really know each other. Yet.
But Kris shook his head and smiled. Remi detected a hint of pride and he couldn’t blame him. Kris had done an incredible job.
“I recycled a surprising amount of stuff,” he said. “A lot of this was junk from your garage. There was a couple of boxes that looked like they might have even belonged to the previous owners?” he said, posing it as a question.
Remi shrugged. “Maybe,” he admitted. “I’ve never really gone through everything in there.”
Kris nodded, looking around the room again. “There is some stuff I got from Goodwill. So, yeah, a few bucks for a few newish frames. But the rest was just elbow grease, honestly.” He peeked at Remi through his lashes. “Does she like it?”
Having Kris call Remi ‘she’ did something strange to Remi. As if Kris had included him in a secret. It felt like a badge of acceptance, a token of affection.
Remi turned back to Kris and couldn’t stop the smile that felt like it was glowing on his face. “This is above and beyond, I swear,” Remi said. “Thank you. I love it.”
Kris bit his lip and smiled back. “You’re welcome,” he said softly.
The moment stretched between them as they held each other’s gazes. All of a sudden, Remi became aware that they were standing alone in his bedroom.
That was crazy, though, right? There wasn’t anything fizzing between them. Not Remi and his best friend’s younger brother. But there they were, looking at one another as the silence stretched on.
Remi was consumed with the reckless notion that now would be the time to blurt out his secret. He burned to tell Kris he was bi. Because…well, his overly tired brain seemed to be suggesting good things might happen if he did. Instead, he shook himself, as if waking from a trance, and a nervous laugh bubbled up his throat.
“I seriously need a shower and some sleep,” Remi said. Then he winced internally. Kris didn’t need to know how gross he felt. “Uh, you feel like maybe getting some takeout tonight, or I dunno, grabbing a burger somewhere?”
He thought he saw Kris’s eyes light up. But before Remi could be sure, Kris’s face was back to neutral again. However, he did nod. “Sure,” Kris said. “I might have to have a nap, too. The caffeine seems to finally be wearing off and I think I’ve run out of rooms to make over.”
Remi opened his mouth to ask if that meant Kris had re-vamped the spare room as well. But Remi was certain he had. He’d enjoy seeing that later. For now, however, his body was crashing fast and he needed to crawl onto his mattress.
He nodded. “Sounds like a plan,” he said. “So, I’ll see you in a couple of hours?”
“Great,” Kris said. There was a pause, like he maybe wanted to say something else. But then he nodded one last time. “Goodnight,” he said, then vanished into the hall.
“Night,” Remi murmured after him.
Something was stirring in his chest. He wasn’t sure what it was, but after some sleep, he might have a better clue.
For now, he wanted to enjoy his new room – his new house. The whole place felt brand new. As if Kris had breathed life into everything like a Disney character come to save the day.
After a quick shower, Remi drifted off to sleep immediately, a smile lingering on his lips.