Chapter 18 – Jessica
Dessert took forever, and it was all Ben’s fault. He insisted on popping a champagne and eating seconds and thirds of the chocolate cake his chef had baked for us. I wasn’t really sure why he was wasting so much time celebrating his fake wife when he knew I needed some time alone to break up with my boyfriend before he could fuck me—and he would fuck me tonight. Of that, I was certain.
To make matters worse, after I returned from my “bathroom break” Trey became very handsy and clingy. He draped an arm over my shoulder, rubbed his thumb against the exposed skin of my shoulder and kissed my cheek repeatedly. Although I usually didn’t mind his touches, after my hallway moment with Ben, they made me feel gross. I now belonged to another and, therefore, he had no right to touch me—especially in front of Ben.
For some reason, however, Ben didn’t seem to care about Trey’s advances. In fact, he appeared to be downright enjoying the sight of me squirming and pushing Trey away. Considering how jealous and possessive he had been just minutes before, his behavior was as odd as it was annoying.
It was about eleven at night when the awkwardness and the oddity of the evening finally became too much for me. Realizing that this night would never be over unless I took matters into my own hands, I forced an exaggerated yawn.
“Tired, honey?” Mom asked yawning as well.
I nodded. “Yep, it was a long day, and I have classes tomorrow.”
“I have to report to the French training facility tomorrow, so I have to be at the airport at seven to catch a flight,” mom added.
“I’ve got three morning meetings and a business lunch,” Ben offered.
We all looked at Trey who merely shrugged. “I don’t have anything going on until the gig on Sunday-Funday.”
Embarrassed for him, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. For the last two months, I had forced myself to ignore his many flaws, such as overall lack of purpose in life and excessive use of stupid slang, but now that Ben was mine for the taking, I couldn’t take it any longer. Trey was a good man, I had to admit that, but he was definitely not the man for me, and every second I spent with him caused me physical pain.
“Well, unfortunately, we can’t all be as lucky as you, Trey,” I said with a fake smile. He gave me a grin and shrug in return before I turned to look at my mom and Ben who were almost laughing at my obvious sarcasm. Making an actual effort not to sound too bitchy, I said, “I think we should call it a night, then.”
“It’s a shame, it has been such a pleasurable evening,” Ben said in a voice filled with innuendo while he stared at me.
My cheeks burned with an intense blush, but luckily Mom was too concerned talking to Ben to notice it. “It really has been wonderful. Thank you for going along with the tradition, Ben.”
Like the doting husband he pretended to be whenever there were people around, he winked at her—which instantly caused a wave of jealousy to rise up my chest. “Anytime, now let’s go to bed and leave these two to say their goodbyes.”
The look Ben gave me at that last word made it clear that he meant our final goodbye. I gave him the tiniest nod as mom came to say good night to me. They walked back into the house together, finally leaving me alone with Trey.
As soon as their voices were out of hearing range, Trey’s smile shifted from friendly to what I assumed was sexy and he leaned in to kiss me. Uncomfortable with his advances, I held my breath and bent backward, putting some extra space between us.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, clearly annoyed about me evading his kiss.
I knew that this was the moment I had been waiting for. This was my cue to break up, but in my rush to get this endless dinner over with and free myself of the only thing keeping me from being with the man I desired, I hadn’t stopped to think about how I would end it. As far as Trey knew, I was happy and our relationship was going well.
Still, at a loss for what to say, I inhaled a deep breath and shook my head. “Nothing, I just don’t want to kiss here. It’s Ben’s house, and someone can come in.”
Trey rolled his eyes and leaned in once more. This was exactly what he used to do the last time we were together. He would pressure me to do things I didn’t want to do and dismiss my concerns when I voiced them. It was demeaning and finally gave me the strength and angle to say what I had to say.
“No,” I barked as I placed my open palms on his chest and pushed his body away from me. “I said I don’t want to kiss you.”
“Fine,” he muttered, clearly angry at my rejection. “Let’s go outside to my truck. We can even go to my apartment if you want.”
Aggravated that he didn’t seem to get the message, I got up from the bench we were seating and crossed my arms. “Geez, Trey. I don’t want to go to your car or to your apartment. It’s eleven on a school night. All I want is to go to bed.”
“Then go to bed at my place,” he said exasperatedly as he got up as well. “We dated for a year, and now we’re together for two months. That’s a long fucking time, Jess. I’m trying really hard to be faithful, but it’s hard when you refuse to do anything with me.”
I pulled in a deep breath and almost smiled at the perfect opportunity. “Then don’t. Don’t be faithful. Go and fuck whoever you want like you did the last the time because I’m still not ready to sleep with you.”
His brows pulled together with a mixture of confusion and anger. “What the hell does that mean? Are you really so frigid that you prefer to know that your boyfriend is fucking someone else than to open your legs to him?”
My mouth opened with outrage at his words. Throughout our relationship, Trey had always shown himself as this nice guy who despite being was a little too horny was still miles away from being a complete asshole. But now, as I looked at his impatient face and mulled over his harsh words, I realized that Ben was right. He really was a prick, an assclown, and a tool.
Seeing red, I grew taller in my spine and carefully said, “First of all, I’m not frigid. I just rather wait to give myself to someone better than settle for your mediocre ass. Secondly, I want you to fuck someone else because I really, truly don’t want to be your girlfriend anymore. We didn’t work the first time and agreeing to try again with you was clearly a mistake. Finally, get your rude ass out of my house because you’re no longer welcome here.”
Trey stared at me with rage in his eyes for a few more seconds. I stood firm in my resolve and in the knowledge that I was right to dump his ass. Now that he had shown me his true colors, I could see that breaking up with him was about so much more than just Ben. It was about rectifying a huge mistake and putting an end to an unnecessary and regretful part of my life once and for all.
When he just continued to stare at me without moving, I raised a brow and, using a very stern tone, said, “Do I have to call for help or you’ll go on your own?”
“You’re such a crazy bitch, Jessica,” Trey spat as he gathered his things and started walking away. “Honestly, I’ve never met a girl who asks a guy to have dinner with her family and then dumps him for wanting a kiss. Thank you for breaking up with me. I can do so much better than you.”
My eyes widened, and my heart raced at his words. Not only he was untruthful and wrong, he was also being mean which was unforgivable. “I didn’t invite you. You showed up, and I didn’t tell you to leave,” I barked as he walked towards the French doors leading into the house. “Oh, and before I forget, fuck you!”
Without turning to look at me, he raised a middle finger and then disappeared into the house. I took several calming breaths as I watched him go and thanked the heavens that this house was big enough to contain my screams. Although I was right about everything I said, this wasn’t my finest moment, and I didn’t want anyone witnessing it.
I stood outside, pacing my breaths and calming my heart until I heard Trey’s car drive away. Then, with relief flooding my veins, I exhaled and walked back into the house. I walked straight to the stairwell.
A new wave of nervousness hit me hard as I climbed the stairs. Despite my urgent desire to run two steps at the time to tell Ben that I was his and his alone, I took my time as my brain processed what was going to happen next. Even with all Ben and I had already done, this next step would be the biggest. It would be life changing for me, and I wanted to be sure it was right.
Alone in the massive staircase, I asked myself if I wanted Ben to be my first because he was the unobtainable man or if it was because he was the man. I searched my feelings and wondered honestly if I felt capable of feeling something that strong for another person.
Then, as I reached the top landing and looked at both sides of the corridor, I thought back to every stare, word and touch Ben and I had shared, I realized that what I felt for him was more than just desire. There were feelings—strong as hell feelings—and though naming them scared the living shit out of me, I knew I would never feel what I felt for him for anyone else.
With that certainty in mind, I turned right—the opposite side of my room—and walked to the only door in that wing. The closer I got, the harder my heart thumped, but I pushed through the knot in my throat and kept walking until I arrived at Ben’s double doors.
One of the doors was slightly opened with what I assumed to be an invitation for me. So, I filled my lungs, pushed the door opened and walked inside.
Ben was nowhere in sight, and I was almost glad he wasn’t since it gave me the opportunity to admire the massive room without distractions. The space was very much like Ben; gorgeous and a perfect mixture of light and dark.
Stark white walls were accented by dark furniture and beautiful black and white photos of organic shapes. There was a king size bed right at the center of the room styled in chic white and light gray linen, a conversation area to the left and a desk and some doors to the right. Facing the bed was a gorgeous ornate window that overlooked the grounds with old mirrors on each side.
I was still admiring the beauty of the space when one of the doors by the desk opened to reveal a very wet and very naked Ben. My hungry eyes roamed from his handsome face, down his defined as fuck body to his hips. His cock wasn’t hard as it had been the last time I had seen his bare body, but it was still impressive enough to have me biting my lip and pressing my legs together.
Not the least bothered by the shameless way I was gawking at him, Ben just smiled and continued to walk toward me. “Did you break up with him?” he asked, his sapphire eyes glistening with excitement and anticipation.
With a sigh, I nodded and muttered a shaky, “Yes.”
His smile widened as he finally arrived in front of me. “How did he take it?”
“Like an asshole, to be honest,” I deadpanned.
Ben chuckled and brought a hand to my hair. He curled a lock around his finger and took another step in my direction. “I can’t blame him. I’d probably be one as well if you dumped me.”
Something stirred inside me, but I decided not to overthink it. Instead, I rolled my eyes and said, “Well, he called me frigid and crazy bitch, so I do blame him. He was really mean.”
“You want me to kick his ass?”
I smiled at his offer but shook my head.
He raised a brow and added, “Want me to pay someone to kick his ass?”
At that, I let out a deep laugh. Looking up from under my lashes, I shook my head once more and said, “No, just make me forget I ever belonged to someone who wasn’t you.”
Ben pulled in a deep breath at my request and slid his hand around my head. Pulling my face towards his, his whispered, “Gladly.”
And then, he did.