Later that night, our dorm is flooded with people. Everyone is standing around, drinking, laughing, and having a good time. Two separate beer pong games form and Dylan is only too happy to organize and oversee both. He’s a beer pong king and is quite a stickler for rules and regulations. While he is taking advantage of the party as an excuse to get plastered, I decide to not drink at all tonight. Nothing good has come from my drinking this semester and I need a break. I pour myself another cup of soda into a red plastic cup and try to join a conversation about the Oscars. Who is nominated. Who isn’t. Who should’ve been. But I can’t follow what anyone is saying. I know what they’re saying, but none of the words are making sense in sentence form. My mind is wondering. I can’t focus on anything.

“Don’t you think so, Alice?” the girl next to me asks. I have no idea what she’s talking about. She lives down the hall from me. I’ve seen her a million times before. We’ve exchanged pleasantries in the elevator. I know that she’s majoring in dance. But I can’t even remember her name.

“Yeah,” I say with a nod. Everyone waits for me to continue, but I can’t. “Listen, does anyone want anything to eat? Or another drink?”

Everyone shakes their heads and goes back to what they were doing. I head toward the dining room table and top off my drink with more soda. I want to look busy and like I’m having fun. I pace around the room saying hi to people, but not staying long to engage in actual conversation. My mind wanders, but it keeps coming back to one thing: Tristan. Will he come? I search the room and all the new faces that have shown up in the last half hour. But Tristan’s not one of them. Maybe he won’t come. I wouldn’t be surprised. Even though it was Dylan and I who have done this horrible thing, it is him who has been paying for it. It has been him who has been staying away. We didn’t ask him to leave. I didn’t want him to stay away. But he has ostracized himself.

And then just as I’m about to give up hope, I see him.

He walks through the front door in his suit, tie, and polished shoes. He is dressed like an adult, like someone with a real job. The girls at the party are dressed nicely, taking the opportunity to wear nice outfits for once in college, but the guys are a total disaster. In comparison to them, he looks like a god.

Unlike many guys our age who look like they don’t belong in a suit and like they are playing at being adults by putting on their dad’s, Tristan embodies his. He doesn’t look oppressed by the stiff collar or the perfectly creased pants. He doesn’t look like the tie is one step from strangling him or the cuffs are cutting off his circulation and his willingness to live. No, his body belongs in the suit. He looks like he could sleep and eat and run in it. Like the two were meant to be together.

He walks toward the dining room table and pours a drink. The red cup looks out of place. He should be holding a perfectly polished glass with scotch. Or maybe a martini. I wait for him to take a sip – to see his elegance at work. But instead, he turns around and hands it to someone behind him.

Her.

Kathryn.

The woman in red.

Oh. My. God.

I want to scream. Tear my eyes out. Tear her eyes out. Pound my fists on the table.

But I continue to stand there motionless. Expressionless. Taking little shallow breaths that are barely enough to keep my body from shutting down.

Kathryn smiles graciously and nods. She’s about to take her drink from Tristan, but then mimics to him to hold on to it for a second while she removes her coat. Under her coat, she’s wearing a little black dress. It’s tight around all the right places, accentuating her beautiful figure. I watch as Tristan looks her up and down while taking her coat. Her collarbones are adorned with a delicate necklace with blue gemstones that bring out her eyes. Her lips are lined with a luscious red lipstick.

Agh! I look away from them. I think I’m going to scream otherwise.

“Tristan’s here,” Juliet says under her breath. She nudges me in his direction.

“I know,” I say and try to walk away. But she follows me.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to leave,” I say.

“Why?”

“Did you see his date?” I ask. Juliet looks around.

“Oh yeah! That’s the same girl from the bar, huh?”

I roll my eyes. Juliet can be very dense sometimes. Or bullheaded. I’m not sure if it’s on purpose.

“Alice,” I hear someone call my name. I pretend that I didn’t hear it. But he’s persistent.

“Alice?” he says, grabbing my arm. I know who it is. I take a deep breath before turning around.

“I’d like to introduce you to someone,” Tristan says. His eyes sparkle. He wants to make me suffer. I deserve this.

“This is Kathryn,” he says. “Kathryn this is my ex-girlfriend, Alice.”

“Nice to meet you.” I extend my hand. Her hand is warm and inviting, while mine is ice cold. I feel like it’s getting sweaty as we touch and pull away as quickly as I can.

“Nice to meet you, too,” she says in a kind, soothing voice. There’s a tinge of malice in it and it makes me hate her even more. She isn’t proud or trying to rub it in my face. Why can’t she be like every other girl? Why does she have to be…genuine?

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Kathryn says.

“Well, don’t believe everything you hear,” I say jokingly. I mean it like a casual joke, but it comes out all wrong. Bitter, somehow.

“Oh no, not all. Tristan had nothing but good things to say,” she says with a smile. I can tell that my comment made her do a double take.

“Well, now I know that you’re lying,” I say with a smile.

Kathryn takes a deep breath and a sip of her drink. I can tell that this moment is as uncomfortable for her as it is for me. And we both blame Tristan for it. But Tristan isn’t sorry. He wants to pick a fight.