Audrey
We helped Leanne with cleaning up, and then I told Bennett to wait for me outside while I grabbed my stuff. Instead of going to my room, I snuck upstairs and went in search of Brody. He ran out of the kitchen so fast, almost as though he couldn’t wait to get away from me, and I wanted to know why. Had I done something wrong?
I knocked on his door but didn’t get an answer, so I peered inside to make sure he wasn’t there. He must have been in the bathroom, so I crossed the hall and raised my fist to knock but hesitated. The shy, awkward girl in me wanted to announce my presence and wait for a response, but the new perverted woman in me wanted to walk right into the bathroom in the hopes of seeing more than just Brody’s lickable chest.
Taking a deep breath, I bit the bullet and pushed open the bathroom door. Brody was standing at the sink, hands braced on the counter, leaning forward. I looked down the hall to make sure the coast was clear then slipped into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I rested my back against the wall and caught Brody’s gaze in the mirror.
“You left in a hurry. You okay?” I asked.
Brody nodded but still didn’t speak. He raked his gaze over my body and clenched his fists. “Just needed space.”
“From me?” I stepped toward the door, ready to bolt if he said yes.
“Yes, no…kind of.”
“Well, which is it?” I asked, grasping the door handle.
He stared at me. His gaze was intense, and I was powerless against it. Even if I wanted to move, I couldn’t walk away from that look. “You look beautiful.”
I glanced down at my clothes. Between Bennett’s and Kenzie’s gifts, I felt like a new person. “Thank you.”
I approached Brody, coming to stand behind him. He tensed, the muscles in his back contracting and stretching as he seemed to fight with himself. Without thinking, I traced my hands across his shoulder blades in slow, sweeping movements, enjoying the feel of his skin under my fingertips, dragging them lower and around to his front until I was hugging him from behind.
His hands settled over mine, and he twisted our fingers together. “Will I see you tonight?” he asked. “For dinner?”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m having dinner with Bennett.”
“Out?”
“I think so. I might make him take me to the roadhouse. At least I feel safe there.”
“Oh. Okay.” He let my hands go and straightened. “You should go, or you’ll be late.”
“Right.” I didn’t want to leave, though. I wanted to spend my birthday with him. Not at school. Not with Bennett, as much as I adored him. I only wanted Brody.
“Happy Birthday, cupcake.”
Feeling bold, I pressed my lips to Brody’s spine, right between his shoulder blades, and then I left.
Bennett was waiting patiently in his car with his music going once I’d grabbed my bag and walked outside.
“Ready, birthday girl?”
“I guess.” I dropped my bag on the floor and looked around Bennett’s car. I’d never been in it before. “It’s nice.”
“Thanks. Dad bought it for me as a condition of returning to school.” Bennett pulled the car out of the drive and turned into the street, heading in the wrong direction.
“Where are we going?” I eyed him curiously, but he only smirked.
“You’ll see.”
“We’re not going to school?”
“Bro, it’s your birthday. We don’t go to school on birthdays.” He shook his head in disbelief.
“Won’t we get in trouble?”
“Don’t worry. I know the principal.” He reached across and flicked my hair.
“Right, because that worked so well last time.” After he stripped his shirt off last week to create a distraction, his dad had sent him home for the day and given him detention for three nights.
“Worth it.”
“So, wanna tell me why your father made you attend his school?”
He shrugged. “He’s a jerk.”
“Bennett.”
“Seriously, Audrey, he’s a jerk. I got expelled, and I was okay with that. I planned on taking the year off and starting fresh next year. But his public image is more important than my wellbeing.”
“Why’d you get expelled?”
Bennett winced and took a deep breath. “For dealing drugs.”
“What?” I screeched. Bennett, a drug dealer?
“It’s not like that.” He reached over and grabbed my hand, running his thumb over the rough, scarred skin.
“Drugs, Bennett? Really?”
He sighed. “I’m not getting out of this car without an explanation, am I?”
“Nope. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” I said with a smile. It was time he knew, anyway.
He barked out a laugh. “It’s not that bad, honestly. I went to SC High. My best mate, Chris, got into some trouble. He was in deep and couldn’t get out. Owed a lot of money. I don’t even know what happened, or how he got into that position, but the only way he saw to get out was…”
“Drugs,” I whispered.
“Yeah.” He squeezed my hand.
“So how did you—?”
“He wasn’t dealing. He wasn’t a bad guy. Just made a few shitty decisions.” Bennett scrubbed a hand over his face and continued. “I found him at the back of the school one morning with a bag of pills. I confronted him and asked what the hell he was doing. He couldn’t seriously be selling them to people. And he wasn’t. He told me they were his. He was psyching himself up to down the whole bag. He was going to kill himself.”
“Oh, my god.” I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand.
“I snatched them from him and shoved them in my bag until I could get rid of them. I never got the chance, though.” He laughed darkly. “I dropped my damn bag as I was getting shit out of my locker, and the pills fell out right as a teacher walked past.”
“Oh, no. What happened?” My voice trembled, but not as much as my hands.
“You’re shaking?” Bennett ignored my question and lifted my hand between us. “What’s wrong?”
It hit a little too close to home. I’d been there before, not that long ago, and Brody saved me just like Bennett did Chris.
“Just feel bad for you, that’s all.”
“It’s not so bad.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I fixed Chris’s debt, he sought help for his depression, and then I met you.” He winked.
I laughed. “I’m the silver lining, huh?”
“Something like that,” he answered softly.
“How’d you clear his debt?”
“Sold my car.”
I glanced around. “Ummm…”
“My father bought me this one as a replacement and a way to convince me to go back to school where, and I quote, ‘I can keep an eye on your pathetic ass.’”
“Really?”
“Yeah. So, that’s my story.”
We drove for about half an hour and pulled up at the same shopping center I went to with Kenzie and Indie weeks ago. The one where I first met Bennett.
“Why are we here?”
“I told you. We don’t go to school on birthdays.”
“No, really.”
“I just left a jacket behind. Come on.” He climbed out of the car, giving me no option but to follow.
I fidgeted with my jacket, straightened my jeans, fluffed my hair, and made sure it was covering my face.
“Will you stop?”
“I just feel too exposed.”
“You can’t see anything. You are covered head to toe.”
“But this.” I pointed to my chest and tugged on the neckline, showing him that my scars were clearly more visible in this top than anything else I owned.
“Do that again. I hadn’t finished watching.”
“Watching what?”
“Everything bounce.” He licked his lips and smirked.
“Grow up.” I rolled my eyes.
“You’re the one flaunting that hot body of yours.”
“See. This is why I feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m joking. You look amazing. The scars are barely noticeable.” He threw his arm around my shoulder and led me inside.
“Why are you so nice to me?” It was a random question to ask, but I was curious why he treated me like a normal person when everyone else seemed to either gawk and stare and be rudely inappropriate or treat me with extra care.
“Because I like you.”
“But why? You’ve never once asked me what happened or why I look this way. The first day we met, you hardly even glanced at my scars.”
“Because I don’t care that you have scars. It doesn’t change who you are as a person. And as much of a loser as my father is, he taught me one thing growing up. Never judge a book by its cover. So, I don’t. I don’t judge people on appearances. I judge them on their brains, their personality, their compassion. And you, Audrey, are amazing.”
“There’s a lot more to that story than just the drugs and Chris, isn’t there?”
“Yeah.”
I leaned my head on his chest and thought about his words. If only everyone lived their life that way, not judging people by their appearance. “I was nearly killed in a house fire.”
Bennett stopped in his tracks and turned me to face him. He didn’t say a word, so I continued. “I lost my whole family in that fire. My parents, my sister. It was a miracle I survived. If it hadn’t been for Nate and Brody, I would have died. They heard me screaming and dug me out of the rubble. I was in a coma for weeks while I healed. Brody came to see me every day. He sat there and read to me and told me stories.” I smiled. “It was the strangest thing. When I finally woke up and Brody was there, I didn’t freak out. I felt like I knew him. Then he spoke, and I realised I did know him.” I smiled sadly.
Bennett angled his head and raised an eyebrow.
“While I was in that coma, I had all these dreams, about fairy tales and glittery vampires. Each dream was a story, narrated by Brody. I heard his voice while I slept, and I’ve felt a connection to him ever since.”
“Wow. Audrey, I had no idea.” Bennett hugged me to his chest.
“Not long after, Leanne and Steve, Brody’s aunt and uncle, came in to visit me. I thought it weird at first but was so grateful that someone wanted to see me. After a few more visits, they told me they wanted to take care of me, foster me, look after my medical expenses, and get me the best treatment possible. I had no one. My family were dead. No relatives that I know of. Not one person I called a friend came to see me, so I agreed. It was either that or get lost in the system, and with my injuries, that could have been a disaster. And now, here we are.”
“Fuck. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. This only makes me prouder to be your bro. You have to be the strongest and bravest person I know.” He kissed the top of my head. “And that deserves ice cream.”
“I like ice cream.” I laughed.
“Who doesn’t? Come on.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me through the shopping center to the gelato shop in the middle.
We sat on the fake grass under the fake tree beside the gelato van and ate our ice cream. It was better than Bailey’s peanut butter and chocolate chip ice cream that was in Leanne’s freezer.
“Where are you going on the weekend?” Bennett asked.
I shrugged. “Don’t know. Brody hasn’t told me. Somewhere secluded, I hope.”
“So you can spend the weekend naked?”
“No, you idiot. So I can enjoy myself without worrying about what other people are thinking of me.”
“You can enjoy lots of things naked.”
“Uh, thanks. But I don’t think that’s on the agenda for the weekend. We’re just friends.”
“Friends can get naked together. Wanna give it a go?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“Umm, no. Thanks for the offer, though.” My cheeks heated at the thought of getting naked with Bennett. And then an image of him flashed through my mind, and I wondered what he’d look like for about half a second before pushing the thought aside.
“I’ll be waiting. Anytime you want to take me up on that offer, I’ll be there,” he said with all seriousness, and I wondered whether he actually meant it. “And, by the way, friends don’t get jealous, and they certainly don’t run upstairs for a cold shower the moment their friend walks into a room.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Man, you’re so naïve. It’s almost cute. Where was Brody when you went to look for him?”
I gave him a blank stare, not wanting to admit I did go in search of Brody. How would he even know that?
“You know, when you made me wait outside.”
I cleared my throat. “In the bathroom.”
“What was he doing?”
“Getting ready for a shower.”
“Point made.”
Was Bennett right? Had the reason Brody took off so fast been because he was…
“You had him so hot, I thought he was going to explode.”
“Shut up.” I pushed his chest, making him laugh and hold up his hands in defence.
“All I’m saying is, you might want to be prepared for sexy times this weekend.” He wiggled his eyebrows again.
My chest tightened, and my palms began to sweat. But this time it wasn’t from the fear of being seen by people. It was the fear of Brody seeing me and being disgusted.
“I can’t go. I have to cancel,” I blurted. My stomach was churning.
“What? Why?”
“Because you’re right. Just the two of us, in a secluded location for an entire weekend. It practically screams sexy naked time.”
“I don’t see the problem.” Bennett pinched his bottom lip between his teeth.
“I can’t get naked and sexy with someone. I can barely stand to look at myself in a mirror too long. What if he doesn’t like what he sees? What if I don’t know what I’m doing?” My chest tightened, and my breathing increased, but I felt like I wasn’t getting any air.
“Would it help if I offered to practice with you?”
“You just did.”
“Well, then?”
“Bennett, I’m serious.” I groaned into my hands.
“So am I. Come with me.” He stood and pulled me to my feet.
“Where are we going now?” I was not getting naked with him.
“Shopping for things a little more revealing than boots, jeans, and a hoodie.”
“Why?”
“Well, you can’t go from being dressed like a ninja to being a lingerie model in the blink of an eye. You need to work your way out of your clothes. You need a swimsuit.”
I sighed. I didn’t want a swimsuit. I didn’t want lingerie. I didn’t want Brody seeing me naked. As much as I wanted to see him without his clothes, my fear far outweighed my desire.
Bennett dragged me into the store where I first met him weeks ago and led me straight to the swimsuit section.
“I’m not sure about this.” I wrapped an arm around my waist and ducked my head. I couldn’t wear a swimsuit. That exposed too much skin. Too many scars.
“Trust me.” He grabbed my hand as he searched through the racks for something. “Here, try this.” He held out a hanger that had a scrap of material attached to it.
“I can’t wear that.”
“Sure, you can.” He shoved it in my hands, turned me around, and with his hands firmly planted on my shoulders, he pushed me toward the change rooms.
With a gentle kiss on the head, he left me alone in the small room. “I’ll be right out here.”
My palms were sweating, and rubbing them on the front of my jeans did nothing to dry them. My fingers trembled as I lifted the hanger to the hook. I stared at the swimsuit. It was modest. Didn’t show too much skin. In fact, any ordinary girl would think it covered too much. It was simple, black, thin straps, and the top ended at my hips, like a singlet. The bottoms were a pair of shorts. It covered plenty for a swimsuit, yet I still struggled to try it on.
My fingers fumbled with the zippers on my boots and the buttons on my jeans. I couldn’t stop shaking as I removed my jacket and top. Slowly but surely, I removed my clothes and pulled on the swimsuit. I was terrified to look in the mirror. I didn’t want to see the ugly scars. I didn’t want to imagine what Brody would think if he saw me in this. My stomach rolled, churned. I wanted to throw up.
“How’s it going?” Bennett called through the curtain.
“I can’t, Bennett. I can’t wear this.” I heaved in a breath as the small room began to spin. My chest burned, and my legs couldn’t support my weight any longer. I collapsed on the floor. Bringing my knees to my chest, I curled in a ball and tried to calm myself down.
“Audrey?” Bennett called, but he sounded far away. So far away, like I’d never be able to reach him.
My vision was clouding. I tried to call out to him, but my voice wouldn’t work. I buried my head in my knees and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping when I opened them again, the room would have stopped spinning, and everything would be normal.
“Shit,” Bennett cursed, and the next thing I knew, his arms were around me, and he was cradling me against his chest. “I’m sorry, bro. So sorry.” He held me until my breaths slowed, and the burn in my chest eased. “It’s okay.” He handed me a bottle of water and rubbed my back until I settled down.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, ducking my head in embarrassment. My cheeks were burning, and I felt like such a loser. Who had a panic attack in a change room where no one could see them? Me, that was who.
“Don’t be sorry. Are you okay?” He held my face in his hands, inspecting me. His fingers brushed my cheeks, wiping away the tears. “I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
“You didn’t.” I sniffed and forced a smile.
“You sure you’re okay?”
I nodded.
“Good. Now, stand up.” He gave me a light push.
My heart stuttered in my chest, and I tensed up.
Stand up?
Now?
In front of Bennett?
In a swimsuit?
Hell, no. I couldn’t do it. I shook my head.
Bennett sighed and stood with me still in his arms. He lowered my feet to the floor and turned my body sideways before twisting my head to look in the mirror. “What do you see?”
I stared at the side of my body that wasn’t burnt to a crisp. My smooth skin, naturally tanned, the freckle above my hip, my flat stomach. I looked like the girl I used to be.
“What do you see, Audrey?”
“Me,” I whispered, swallowing the lump in my throat. I didn’t look like that anymore—not completely, anyway. “The old me.”
Bennett smiled softly and turned me around until I faced the opposite direction. “Now?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Nope. I couldn’t look. I knew what I’d see. A freak. A girl so disfigured, she didn’t look anything like herself anymore.
“Know what I see?” Bennett asked softly, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders. He turned me to face the mirror front on. “You.”
I looked up at his reflection and saw no disgust, no fear, no pity. He really did only see me. Under all the layers, all the scars, he saw me.
“Your scars don’t make you a freak, Audrey.” His hand traced down the side of my arm, gently soothing the rough skin. “They tell a story. A story of survival. Your story. You should wear them with pride and courage, not fear. They make you beautiful.”
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
“You really think so?” I choked on the tears threatening to spill over again.
“I do. And if no one else sees it, screw them. I’m the only important one.” He winked.
“But, what if Brody—?”
“If Brody sees you any different than I do, then he’s not the one you want.” His arms wrapped around me tighter, and I smiled at him. I felt so safe with him, and the only person I’d ever felt like that around was Brody.
“Why are you still single?” I asked.
He shrugged and frowned. His gaze pierced mine as he rested his chin on my head. He sighed. “Right girl, wrong time.”
With a deep breath, before I could respond, Bennett released me and stepped out of the change room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Right girl, wrong time. I wondered who he meant. The way he looked at me in the mirror, I could have sworn he was talking about me, but that was crazy. He was Bennett Sawyer. He could have had any girl he wanted. Why would it be me? We’d only been friends for a month or so. Still, something niggled at me, and I couldn’t help but wonder.