OLIVIA SIGHED DEEPLY as she looked down at the dark spots of blood on her jacket. No wonder her mother was always going through so many clothes.
Olivia didn’t sleep. She helped dispose of the bodies of the Vallos soldiers, then scouted the area for any lingering soldiers. She’d mostly been trying to avoid her sister.
Olivia pushed open the door to her apartment. Em sat at the kitchen table. The dark circles under her eyes suggested she also hadn’t slept.
“Where have you been?” Em asked.
Olivia shrugged out of her coat and walked to the living room to stand in front of the fire. This apartment was better than the cabins, at least. The furniture was clean and modern, the shelves lining the walls filled with books, the artwork professional. There was a painting of every ancestor in this room, and Olivia looked over her shoulder at Boda. Her mother’s favorite ancestor stared back at her from her seat in a garden.
Em looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer to her question.
“I went to the surrounding areas to make sure there weren’t more soldiers,” Olivia said.
“And?”
“There were a few. I took care of them.”
“Aren said the soldiers came because you killed them. What did he mean?”
Olivia scrunched up her face. “Aren’s different than I remember him.” She remembered a boy who barely acknowledged the warriors when they came through. Now he followed that Iria girl everywhere she went.
“He’s been through a lot.”
“And I haven’t?” Anger seared up her body, but it came out in the form of tears. She quickly blinked them back. “I know you and Aren spent a year running for your lives, but what do you think I was doing during that time? I wasn’t living a cozy life in that cell.” A tear slipped down her cheek and she closed her eyes against the unwelcome images that surfaced. Being covered in Weakling. Being ordered to heal injured humans. The beatings that followed when she refused.
These were the people Em wanted to protect?
“I know,” Em said softly.
Olivia opened her eyes. “Yes, I killed some of the people who fled this place.”
“Unprovoked?” Em asked.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Olivia had expected Em to chastise her, not ask why. Aren wasn’t the only one who had changed. Em may have wanted to protect Cas and his followers, but she was still the girl who’d killed the Vallos princess in cold blood.
“Because I don’t trust them,” Olivia said quietly. “Because I don’t want any of my fellow Ruined to go through what I went through. I’m going to keep us safe, even if I have to kill every human to do it.”
“I understand,” Em said. “I know you think I don’t, but I do. I’ve seen how dangerous they can be.”
“Then why are you mad?”
“I’m not mad. I’m … scared.”
Olivia pressed her lips together. Maybe she was scared too, but she refused to admit it. Fear was weak. She refused to be weak again.
“I’m scared I can’t reason with you, Liv. I’m scared that your hatred is going to make you do something stupid that’s going to get you killed.” Em leaned forward, her words soft. “We need the warriors. We need to be smart. What if the Vallos army had been twice the size? What if they’d gotten past you and Aren? All of this could have ended before it started.”
“But that’s not the only reason, is it?” Olivia asked. “You think it was wrong for me to kill those people.”
“I do think it was wrong. But more important, I don’t think it was smart. I don’t think it was the action of a queen. We need to be thinking strategically. We need to plan and communicate. We won’t secure the safety of the Ruined by randomly attacking small camps of people.”
Olivia let out a long breath, annoyed by that logic. She couldn’t argue with it. “You’re right.”
“Yeah?” she asked, clearly surprised.
“Yes,” Olivia said with a laugh. “You’re right, and you’re also a hypocrite.”
“How so?”
“Is keeping Cas here what a queen would do? When you know it makes me and August uncomfortable? Is that smart?”
Em dropped her eyes from Olivia’s. “No,” she said softly.
“Let’s both be smart, then. Deal?”
Cas waited for Em all night. When she finally walked into his room after dawn, he jumped to his feet.
“Is everyone all right?” he asked. “Who was that?”
“Vallos soldiers.” She leaned against the wall instead of coming to him. “Everyone is fine. We fought them back.”
“Good.” He wanted to go to her, to gather her into his arms, but everything about her body language said she wanted him to keep his distance.
“I need to tell you something,” she said.
“All right.”
“We came here to kill Jovita. It’s our main mission.”
He laughed. It bubbled up in his chest and burst out louder than he intended. He laughed again, almost hysterically.
“I’m serious, Cas.”
“I know you are. Why else would you be here? She attacked you. You’re only a few hours from the fortress.” He hadn’t given much thought to why Em was in Vallos. He wondered, then dismissed it. He was just happy to see her.
Em was here to respond to an attack. To kill the leader waging war on her people. She was, as usual, taking action.
“I know she’s your only remaining family, but—”
“I don’t care,” Cas interrupted. “Kill her. Tell her I said goodbye.”
Em reeled back in shock.
“You thought I’d be mad?”
“Maybe.”
“She poisoned me. She locked me in a room for days. She convinced people I was insane. I don’t care what you do to her.”
Em nodded, turning her gaze to her shoes. “You need to leave. After we kill Jovita you can swoop in and seize power again—”
“I don’t want it,” he interrupted.
“What?”
“I don’t want the kingdom. Let Olso have it.”
“What?” she asked again with growing incredulity.
“They’ve already taken most of the country anyway. It’s a losing battle and I’m too tired to fight it. I’d rather stay here with you.”
“You can’t.”
“Why not? I’ll renounce Lera or do whatever you want me to do. I’ll send Galo, Mateo, and Violet back, if that’s what they want. Let me help you. Let me fight on your side.”
Em ran her hands down her face, a humorless laugh escaping her mouth. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He blinked, surprised. “What?”
“You’re going to give up? You promised me you’d make things better for the Ruined as Lera’s king, and now, when you encounter even the slightest problem, you run away?”
“Slightest problem? I was declared insane, Em. My own people rejected me.”
“So? You think I don’t know how that feels? I didn’t go off and sulk about it. I did something.”
“This isn’t the same. I’m ashamed of what my father did. I’m ashamed to be from Lera.”
“Then make it better!”
“Why do you care?” he asked, his voice rising. “You hate Lera! I’m offering to give up everything for you, to help you—”
“I did not ask for that. I would never ask you to give up everything for me, and if you think I would, you don’t know me very well. And clearly I don’t know you that well either, because I never thought you would just give up.”
“I guess not,” he said bitterly. He couldn’t quite meet her eyes anymore. Shame had lodged itself in his throat and refused to leave.
“Even if you have no intention of going back to Lera, you can’t stay here,” she said. “It makes too many people uncomfortable. Olivia and August in particular. August has proposed a marriage alliance to me, and it’s under serious consideration.”
Cas’s heart stopped. The room tilted sideways.
“Olso wants to make a permanent alliance with us, so he’s supposed to marry me or Olivia. He prefers me.”
“Oh.” His voice sounded funny. While he’d been lying in bed, dreaming of staying with Em, she’d been planning a marriage to someone else. Planning an attack on the leader of another kingdom. Protecting her people.
No wonder Jovita was trying to steal the throne from him. He’d done nothing to deserve it.
“Your horses and wagon are in the barn,” she said. “I think it’s best you leave now. You can have a few hours to prepare.” She turned to the door but paused, her hand on the knob. “It’s not that I don’t care about you, Cas. It’s just that there are a lot of people counting on me to keep them safe, and I have to put them first.”
She walked out of the room and pulled the door shut behind her. He sank down on the bed, listening to the sound of her footsteps on the stairs.
His hands shook, and he debated running after her to yell that she had no right to be mad at him. She was the reason he’d lost so much.
But he was frozen on the bed, the lump in his throat growing painfully.
“Cas?” Galo said through the door. He pushed it open, a deep frown on his face. “What’s going on? Em said we need to leave.”
Cas focused on his feet. “Yes. Today.”
Galo closed the door and leaned against it. “What happened?”
“Olivia and August don’t like us being here.”
“No kidding. I’m asking why I heard yelling.”
“I asked to stay with her. She didn’t like that idea.”
“What do you mean?” Galo asked. “How can you stay with her?”
“It’s not like I have anywhere to go. Jovita has pretty much taken the throne at this point. Might as well stay with Em and join the Ruined.”
Galo was silent, and Cas crossed his arms over his chest, unable to look at him. The more he said the plan aloud, the more ashamed he was of it.
Galo strode across the floor and smacked his head, knocking Cas’s hair into his eyes. Cas yelped in shock.
“What the—” His words died in his throat as Galo whacked him again.
“What? You said you’re nothing. I can smack a nobody around.” Galo lifted his hand again and Cas scrambled off the bed and away from him.
“Would you stop?”
“No. Come here. I’m going to smack you until I knock some sense back into that brain.” Galo lunged for him, and Cas ran across the bed and pressed his back against the wall.
“I get it!” he yelled, holding his arms up defensively. “I’m a total idiot.”
“Yes, you are.” Galo stopped a few steps in front of him. “You offered to stay with Em?”
“She said no.”
“Of course she said no! I barely know the girl and I know what a terrible idea that is.”
“Sure, rub it in,” Cas said. “Like I don’t feel bad enough right now.”
“Cas,” Galo said, his voice softer. “Every choice Em has made—who was it for?”
Cas looked up at the ceiling and refused to answer the question.
“It was for them,” Galo said, gesturing to the front of the house. “For the Ruined. I don’t doubt that she has feelings for you, but everything she does is for them.”
Cas didn’t respond. He had once been furious at Em for choosing the Ruined over him. She hadn’t told him that the warriors were attacking and he’d lost his father and home as a result. He’d been so angry with her for making the wrong choice, for not choosing him.
But she was never going to choose him.
“August wants to marry her,” he said.
“Ugh,” Galo said. “That’s smart. A permanent alliance between Olso and Ruina.” He paused. “I’m sorry, Cas.”
Cas pushed off the wall and cracked a knuckle. “Forget it. We need to decide where we’re going to go. Maybe if we go south, farther into Vallos …” His voice trailed off. He had no idea where to go.
“We need to go back to Lera,” Galo said. “We never intended to stay in Vallos. We were going to wait until you recovered and then return to Lera and build an army in the south. You’re not really going to give up, are you?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! Jovita controls the army and the advisers!”
“You have Violet, which means you have the southern province, if you want it. The people in the south are going to be loyal to her. We can’t let Jovita get to them first.”
Maybe Em would kill Jovita sooner rather than later. He’d actually have a shot at reclaiming his throne with her gone.
Em’s furious face floated through his brain, and he suddenly realized he understood the expression on her face. She was ashamed of him. She always took charge, always acted like a leader, always stood up for her people.
And what did he do? He sat in bed. He wallowed. He offered to give up everything for a girl he knew he couldn’t have.
He sucked in a sharp breath as an idea occurred to him.
A leader acted. A leader took control. A leader seized opportunities.
“What?” Galo asked.
“Em’s going to kill Jovita.”
“Can’t say I’m torn up about that.”
“No… .” Hope swelled in Cas’s chest for the first time in days. “Let’s go back to the fortress.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to kill Jovita first.”