Chapter Five
THEA
Thea woke up to Dani knocking on her door. She lifted her head and then rolled over. She hadn’t seen Dani for a while but there was nothing urgent they had to talk about. Dani was getting on with her life, undertaking assignments and stalking the many angels she constantly swooned over. Thea didn’t want to drag down her mood. She knew Dani wouldn’t enter, even though the door wasn’t locked. It was considered the height of rudeness to enter an angel’s quarters without permission.
“If you don’t give me permission to come in, I’m gonna get Zak to come instead,” Dani called.
Thea sighed. She didn’t want Dani to hassle Zak. She awkwardly untangled herself from her bedsheets and opened her door.
Dani blinked at her, her arms crossed and her lips pursed.
“What, Dani?” Thea said, her voice thick from sleep and slurred from lack of use. She dropped her hand from the door and headed back to the bedroom.
“Oh no,” Dani said, warningly. She grabbed Thea by the shoulders and steered her towards the couch in her social room. “You’re not going back to bed.”
Thea dropped onto the couch and curled up in a corner. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“Is that your excuse for not answering my knock for weeks?” Dani said, sternly.
“I’ve been having bad dreams.”
“Tell me about them.”
Thea curled up tighter on the couch. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
Dani grabbed Thea’s hands and pulled her up, leaning forward to look her in the eye. “Tell me. It will help.”
Thea took a breath and told her about the horrible dreams. Since the first one with the shadow, they’d continued to get worse and thinking of Cam no longer helped. Sometimes she was running from the shadow in a field of coarse, dead grass while gray ash fell all around her. Another time she was swimming in the ocean, no land in sight, while the shadow grabbed her ankle and pulled her under. Another time she was in her own neighborhood but everyone was dead—corpses were strewn along the street—and the shadow was everywhere.
After hearing Thea’s dreams in full detail, Dani shuddered. “Is the shadow in every dream?”
“Yes.”
“Does it say anything?”
“No, it just laughs,” Thea said, miserably.
“Do you feel pain in the dream?”
Thea thought for a moment. “I feel like I do, but it can’t be real because it doesn’t hurt as strongly as it should.”
Dani nodded. “Your brain is recognizing you should feel pain, but you don’t.”
Thea’s thoughts suddenly turned to her father and her recent conversations with Amber. “Dad is getting better. Did you visit him?”
Dani leaned back, wincing a little. “Yes,” she said, quietly. “But don’t tell anyone. I kinda forced Simiel to give me authorization to do it. I just wanted to ease his pain a bit.”
Thea smiled. “Thank you, Dani.”
“I think you should get some healing from a Virtue too, though,” Dani said, a slight worry on her face. “I know you might be stressed about everything that’s happening, but those dreams sound worrying.”
Thea sighed. “I’ll speak to Simiel.”
Dani smiled and hugged her, before launching into a lecture about keeping herself presentable for visitors and eating properly. She’d brought some food from the food court, which she left in the kitchen.
After Dani left, Thea went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She had no doubt her looks must have concerned Dani; her face was swollen and puffy from sleep, her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles under them. She’d been sobbing in her sleep and was still crying when she woke up, trying to shake off the terror that swamped her.
She had stayed in her room since the Dominion League meeting, existing in a fog of uncertainty, only counting the days between when she went to call Amber, who was aware of her mood but unaware of the true reason. Now that she had talked about her dreams, the fog seemed to lift a little.
It almost hurt every time she thought about her mother. Of all the things she could have thought up about where her mother was, living in the Demon Realm would’ve never been one of them. Had she been a demon the whole time Thea was growing up? How could she have even become a demon? She hadn’t thought to ask the Dominion League, but then she never wanted to speak to them again. The more she thought about it the more she wondered why she hadn’t left the Angel Realm and gone home.
Her thoughts quietened as the reason came into focus. Camael. She couldn’t leave the Angel Realm for good without knowing his fate. If she wasn’t ever going to see him again, she needed to know before she left. Zak visited numerous times and she hadn’t been able to understand what he was saying to her with the fog pressing in on her from all sides. Now things were a bit clearer, she needed to know what was happening.
Her determination bolstering her, Thea got up and prepared for Zak’s visit, brushing her teeth and combing her hair back into a ponytail. She wasn’t sure if he visited every day, but when he did it was always in the afternoon.
She slipped into a casual shift dress and sat on her couch slowly eating some of the fruit Dani brought her. She soon felt more like herself, although it seemed nothing could erase the despair in the pit of her stomach.
Sure enough, in the middle of the afternoon, a knock fell on the door.
“Come in,” Thea called.
Zak entered cautiously, stepping into her social room with a frown. “You’re up.”
“I am,” Thea said, more confident than she felt. “How are you, Zak?”
Zak almost smiled. “It’s good to see you looking better, Thea. How are you feeling?”
When she couldn’t think of how to truthfully answer his question, Thea shrugged.
Zak sat on the couch opposite her. “I need to talk to you.”
“About Cam?”
“Yes.”
A flutter of nervousness entered her stomach. “Go on.”
“I have been part of a petition with the Dominion League to get Cam released so he can help you with your assignment.”
“I’m not doing that assignment,” Thea said, immediately. “I’m leaving this place.”
“Thea,” Zak said, firmly. “I know you haven’t been treated well but the Dominion League recognize that now.”
“And they still expect me to do this assignment?”
“Don’t you want answers?” Zak held her eyes. “I argued with them that you should still do the assignment because I thought you’d prefer to be the one to speak with your mother; even if it’s only for a short time. Her slaying will happen with or without you; I thought you’d want to be involved so you could at least get the peace you need.”
Thea hesitated. She was desperate for answers, but could she really stay in the Angel Realm and deal with the Dominion League in order to get them?
“You don’t have to deal with the League,” Zak said, as though he’d read her mind. “I’m still your commander, and I will be your point of contact.”
Thea nodded slowly. “How long before you know if the petition will be successful.”
“It was successful,” Zak said, watching her slowly. “He will be released tomorrow morning.”
Thea stiffened in surprise, her mouth dropping open.
The silence between them hung for a moment.
“I need to know how you feel about working with Cam again.”
Thea swallowed. How could she explain? She felt elated and terrified, excited and horrified. So many conflicting emotions rose intensely at the mere thought of him.
When she didn’t answer, Zak leaned forward, his elbows on knees. “How about you just try and talk with him. And take it from there?”
Thea fidgeted. “On my own?”
A flash of shock hit Zak’s face before he quickly schooled his expression. “Yes. Cam has been connecting to the Stream, Thea. He doesn’t suffer from the darkness anymore.”
A weight Thea didn’t even know was there lifted off her. “Really?”
“Yes. He’s been connecting to the Stream since the moment he got arrested.”
Thea chewed her lip as she thought. Cam finally connected to the Stream. Although a giddy gladness brightened her mood, she couldn’t help but also feel apprehensive. “Are you hoping I’ll also want to be with him? Is that why you came to see me? Is that what he wants to know?”
Zak shook his head. “Cam has no expectations. But I do hope you two will be together. I’m just worried that your relationship will be destroyed if you can’t get past some of the things that have happened.”
Thea didn’t know what to say to that.
“Cam will help you find your mother, and he will support you like he did before,” Zak said. “Just tell me if you’re ready to see him tomorrow.”
Thea took a breath. “I’m ready.”