CHAPTER SIXTEEN
A mere four days later and it was Saturday already. I was feeling more myself again. I was, however, a little apprehensive about the luncheon with the Van De Beers, especially since Amelia and Quentin couldn’t attend. They were in Italy for five nights celebrating their third wedding anniversary. But Griff was good friends with this James Van De Beer so I was determined to pull up my big girl panties and hang out with the ‘in’ crowd, no matter how pretentious I found them.
I said as much to Griff as the town car drove us out to Wellesley.
He surprised me by nodding. “I suppose they are pretentious.”
“You agree?”
He smirked at my surprise. “You don’t think you’re the first person to tell me that the world I live in is pretentious? You’ve met Quentin, right?”
I chuckled. “That’s why I like Quentin. He understands where I’m coming from.”
“Most of the galas and events we’ve attended these last three months raise a lot of money for charity and do a lot of good. I think we can put up with a little pretentiousness for that outcome.”
I huffed, “Well make me feel bad about it, why don’t you.”
Griff snorted. “You don’t feel bad in the least. I think you like feeling above these people.”
“Me? Above them?” Color me confused.
“Yes, you above them. You think because you know what it’s like to struggle financially, that you’ve worked hard to create your own independence and set your own path, that you’re superior to them. Just like some of them think because they were born into a prestigious family with wealth and power status that they’re better than you are.”
I looked out the window, contemplating his words. And I realized that maybe he wasn’t wrong. “I suppose you might be right.” I bit my lip, not liking that in the least. “I’ve always prided myself on being someone who saw themselves as equal to others, not inferior or superior.”
Griff shrugged. “Don’t feel badly, love. The truth is depending on who you talk to you are all those things. To Kiersten Van De Beer you are inferior.”
I scowled at him.
But he continued on, “To Amelia you are equal to the society she was born to. She sees all good people as equal.” His gaze travelled down my body that was clad in a forest green lace dress by Three Floor. It was calf-length, fitted tightly to my silhouette to the knees until it flared out slightly in a softly ruffled lace hem. The panels across the arms and upper chest were sheer. Between that and the tight-fit of the dress, it perfectly straddled the line between pure class and sultry. I squirmed under Griff’s hot perusal. It felt like weeks, instead of days, since he’d been inside me. And I couldn’t wait to be with him later that night.
“But me,” his voice was guttural with need now, “I see the truth despite having been raised among them all. You are infinitely superior in every way someone can be.”
Warmth suffused me and my breath caught in my throat.
I didn’t know what to say in the face of such a declaration.
Did it mean what I thought it meant?
I saw the moment Griff regretted the words. He practically flinched and turned away from me, straightening his lapel. He did that when he was uneasy.
Trying to defuse the moment, attempting to reassure him that I wouldn’t take his words as a vow of love, I replied, “Friends should always think well of one another. I hope you know I feel the same about you.”
Griff immediately relaxed at the word ‘friends’, his whole body seeming to slump into the seat. “I’m glad.”
***
To my surprise James Van De Beer’s home in Wellesley wasn’t nearly as opulent as what I’d expected. I’d expected a home like the Wellington’s mansion in Weston. All epic and marble-floored. Instead the Van Be Beer home was an over-sized, sprawling New England house with white-painted shingles and never-ending perfect green lawns. We were shown through the house and I took in the quality, expensive but comfortable and down-to-earth furnishings. We were led into a sitting room with a wall of sliding glass doors that opened out onto their backyard where a large white tent was set up. Most people were inside the tent but others dared to mingle outside in the cool air.
“There’s a pond,” I muttered to Griff. “These people have an actual pond in their backyard. Actually does it qualify as a pond when it’s the size of a small lake?”
Griff chuckled, guiding me with his hand on my lower back. “All its missing is the swan boats.”
“You took the words right out of my mouth.” And he had! “We’re spending too much time together.”
My husband seemed amused by my grumblings as I eagerly took in the beautifully-decorated tent. String music filtered up to us from what I could only guess was a string quartet playing live inside somewhere. Black-tie catering staff wandered through the throngs of guests who were all decked out in their fancy floral cocktail dresses.
“Maybe I should have worn something in a pastel.”
“You look beautiful.” Griff slid his hand down to tap the top of my ass before sliding it back up. “Always wear what you want to wear.”
I pressed into his side as we wandered through the tent that was much warmer than outside due to fancy pedestals with fire pits on top. They were placed throughout the huge tent. “People are looking at us. When will the curiosity end?”
“Perhaps when your husband stops feeling you up in public.”
I knew that voice.
I sighed as we turned to greet Michael Pennyworth and his current date. I’d met Michael at Amelia’s beach party and he’d rubbed me the wrong way. He certainly rubbed Griff the wrong way. At the party he’d been with a young woman named Sherry. His date wasn’t Sherry.
“Pennyworth.” Griff gave him a curt nod.
“Didn’t think I’d see you two here.” Michael smirked. “Word has it that Van De Beer’s daughter still has her panties in a twist about your marriage.”
And this was why he rubbed me the wrong way. He not only said inappropriate things but he was also nosy, a gossip, and a troublemaker.
“Oh, Michael, you’re so bad,” his date tittered. “You know Kiersten’s just heartbroken about it all.”
Annoyance at the glee in her voice burned in my blood. This one deserved him. “Run along, Michael. I’m sure your date is due her afternoon nap.”
Griff choked on a sip of champagne beside me as Michael narrowed his eyes and shuffled his date away as if we had the plague. On the plus side, he always knew when he wasn’t wanted.
“Well.” Griff looked down at me with laughter dancing in his dark eyes. “It appears someone is learning to play.”
I huffed, still irritated by the encounter. “It’s just rude to talk about your hosts like that. And I may not have had the best start with Kiersten Van De Beer but women shouldn’t find glee in other women’s heartbreak. It’s against the girl code.”
Suddenly Griff’s arm wrapped around my waist and he tugged me against him. His eyes smoldered. “You’re the finest woman I know, Scarlett.”
My God he was trying to kill me with compliments today!
I flushed with delight and he grinned. “You haven’t blushed in ages. I was starting to miss it.”
I rolled my eyes at his playfulness, giving him a light smack on the chest when a throat cleared, drawing our gazes.
An older, very distinguished man with a thick head of gray hair and a still, strong physique stood before us. A lovely woman, who could have been anywhere from thirty-five to fifty-five was on his arm. She just had one of those ageless, stunning faces.
Griff let go of me to hold out a hand to the man first. “James, thank you for having us.” After shaking James Van De Beer’s hand, Griff kissed the woman’s cheek. “Grace.”
“Lovely to see you again, Griffin,” she beamed before turning to me. “And this must be your wife.”
“James, Grace, it’s my pleasure to introduce my wife, Scarlett. Scarlett, this is James and Grace Van De Beer.”
I greeted them. Their gazes were filled with warmth I hadn’t been expecting.
“Oh the rumors are true, you really are quite lovely,” Grace said.
“Oh thank you. I must say you have a beautiful home here, Mrs. Van De Beer.”
“That’s very kind of you, dear. You know.” She looked up at her husband. “I can’t remember the last time someone complimented us on our home.”
James’s eyes twinkled. “That’s because good manners have been overtaken with pretention. No one wants to admit they’re impressed by anything these days.”
“That’s so true,” I agreed.
To my relief we enjoyed a pleasant, easy discussion with Griff’s ex’s parents and I started to see them more as Griff’s friends than his ex’s parents. It soon became clear to me that Grace had been a good friend of Griff’s mother and that’s why he enjoyed a close relationship with James. The older couple seemed so close and in love that I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the idea of James keeping a mistress and Grace being okay with it. In the back of my mind lingered an uneasiness. It was unnerving how convincingly people could deceive you.
When they left us to chat with other guests, I walked through the party with my husband. The canapés were delicious and I reached for another as a waiter passed. I felt Griff’s eyes on me as I went to pop the vol-au-vent in my mouth. “I can’t eat when you’re looking at me.”
He bent down to murmur in my ear, “We both know that’s a bloody lie.”
The heat of arousal burned my cheeks. I cut him a look. “We’re not talking about sucking, we’re talking about eating.”
“Dirty girl,” he muttered.
“You love it.”
“I do,” he agreed, taking a drink. He finished the glass and popped it on a waiter’s empty tray. “I need to use the restroom. Will you be alright on your own?”
“I intend to follow the vol-au-vents.” I nodded.
He flashed me a grin and sauntered out of the tent toward the house. My eyes lingered after him for a moment, enjoying the dashing figure he made as he cut through the crowds. So tall and well-built and confident and—
“If ever there was a woman more smitten with her new husband I have yet to see her.”
I whirled around at the familiar voice. “Lady Windemere.”
She grinned at me and nodded to my vol-au-vent. “Let’s find some more of those. They’re delicious.”
We grabbed a waiter and together coerced him out of more than our fair share. Huddled together near a fire pit we munched on canapés and sniggered like school girls.
“This is far better than making boring conversation with the same people,” Lady Windemere observed.
“It is. I’m happy to have found a friendly face here.”
“People giving you jip?”
Understanding she was asking if people were being rude to me, I shook my head. “Not really. I just… I grow tired of being a curiosity.”
“I’m afraid that may last a while yet, Scarlett. Wherever there is money you find people who have forsaken love for wealth, power and security. There are happy marriages among our set. Your friend Amelia is a prime example and I was very fortunate to share a love match with my own late husband. But there are also a lot of unhappy people in this particular corner of the world and love makes them curious and envious. They believed Griffin Mandeville to be like them. A man who could never love a woman as much as he loved power. He’s proven them wrong, and not only that, he can’t bloody well seem to keep his hands off you.”
I laughed and my heart began to pound faster.
Everyone was so fooled by Griff. Even smart, perceptive people like Lady Windemere. And the things he’d said to me today…
Was it possible that maybe, despite himself, Griff was really falling for me?
Or was he better at the deception than any of them?
I realized he still hadn’t returned from the restroom and Lady Windemere and I had been huddled together for nearly twenty minutes.
“On that note, I should find my husband.”
“Yes, yes, go, follow young love.” She rolled her eyes but I could tell she was actually secretly delighted by the idea of our love match.
I smiled hello to people I’d met at previous events but did so in a way that didn’t invite conversation as I made my way through the tent, searching through the crowds for my husband. When I didn’t see him I stopped one of the catering staff and asked them if they knew where the restrooms were inside the house. Having received directions I made my way across the lawn to the Van De Beer’s home.
Moving inside the house, down the quiet hallway that led to the right, I was stopped on my journey to the restrooms at the familiar rumble of Griff’s voice. Frowning, I followed it.
It led me to a slightly opened door and I peered inside to find a study.
To find Griff in that study with a beautiful woman pressed up against him.
A beautiful woman I recognized from Googling her.
Kiersten Van De Beer.
“I’ve missed you,” she said, pleading. “And I know you’ve missed me.” She smoothed her hands over his chest and Griff reached up to take hold of them. Gently. Not pushing them away. “Look, I get your fascination with her. I watched her out there and she’s free of artifice. There’s an innocence about her, despite that body, that I’m sure appeals to your very dark soul. But we both know she doesn’t belong here or with you. In the end our world will eat your girl-next-door up and she’ll leave you. You never appreciated that I understand what it takes to be the wife of a man of power. When she’s gone… I’ll still be here. I’m what you need.”
I stepped back, not wanting to see or here anymore. My heart pounded so hard all I could hear was the rushing of blood in my ears. An ugly burning sensation filled my chest, choking me, and flooding tears into my throat. I stumbled down the hall, back toward the restroom and slipped inside, locking it.
Trying to catch my breath I glared at my reflection in the mirror. “She doesn’t know anything,” I hissed at myself.
Yet… why hadn’t Griff pushed her away?
The suspicions I’d felt over why Griff never wanted to talk about Kiersten churned in my gut. Along with the fact that he’d been snuggled in a goddamn study with her when he knew I didn’t like to be left alone with these people at these things! Plus… she was so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in real life. And poised and feminine and well-bred. Moreover, what she said about me, about Griff, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. Maybe Griff needed someone a little harder than me, someone who knew how to play the games. Who would understand when he put work before them in a way I probably never would.
Ugh.
Pressing cold water to my wrists in an effort to cool down, I stormed out of the restroom on shaky legs. When I stepped out of the house, the first person I saw was Bryce McKellan. He smiled across the lawn from where he’d been talking with James near the entrance to the tent and excused himself.
“Fancy seeing you here.” He grinned as he came to a stop beside me.
Still reeling from what I had or had not witnessed, I gave him a weak smile. “It’s nice to see you, Bryce.”
He frowned and touched my elbow. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Why is it every time I see you with my wife, you’re touching her.” Griff rounded us, glaring at Bryce.
Anger suffused me.
The hypocritical bastard.
Bryce sighed. “Mandeville, it’s not what you think. Look, I think you and I need to talk.”
“No, you don’t.” I placed a reassuring hand on Bryce’s arm and then turned to my husband. “And you’re one to talk.”
Griff’s eyes flashed dangerously. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I’m uh… I’m just gonna go.” Bryce stumbled back and then practically fled us.
I did not blame him in the least.
Griff immediately got in my face. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” I said with more casualness than I felt. “You tell me.”
“Don’t play games. And look at me.”
I cut him a look. A wounded one.
He flinched. “You saw me with Kiersten.”
Ugly suspicion nettled me. “What if I did?” What had I missed when I walked away?
“She cornered me when I got out of the restroom. She wanted to talk. I thought it best to get it over with.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“Don’t.” He glared at me. “Not here. In fact not ever because I’ve just remembered I don’t fucking owe you an explanation. I hired you. Remember.”
His words cut me so deeply I felt the blood drain from my face. “Griffin.”
I saw his instant regret, his remorse, but the words were out there now. “Scarlett—”
“I’d like to leave. Please.” I kept my composure but inside I felt brittle and cold.
Griff studied me a moment and then he nodded. “Let me just make our excuses to James and Grace.”
“I’ll see you at the car.” I turned and walked away before he could speak.
And the further I walked away from him the harder it became not to cry.
Those tears threatened when I saw the mass of town cars parked in the Van De Beer driveway. I didn’t know which one was ours. Thankfully, our driver must have seen me because he got out of the car and called over to me. “Are you ready to leave, Mrs. Mandeville?”
“Yes.” I hurried over to him, glad he hadn’t been hemmed in. “My— Mr. Mandeville is just coming.” It didn’t seem right to call him my husband after what he’d said to me.
Inside the town car, I slid along the leather bench to the farthest side, hiding myself in the dark corner. It took everything within me but I didn’t give into the tears.
He didn’t deserve them.
When the door opened, I tensed, feeling him, smelling his cologne, as he slid into the car. We were silent as the driver pulled away.
And then he offered, “I’m sorry. I should never have said that.”
I didn’t know how to accept his apology.
He sighed in exasperation. “For God’s sake, Scarlett. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. You have since the moment you heard about Kiersten.”
I glared at him. “Like you haven’t with Bryce? And don’t even get me started on Eric.”
“Eric?” he coldly expelled the name like it tasted bitter on his tongue.
“Yes. My husband who tragically died.” I wanted him to respect Eric’s memory but every time my first love was mentioned Griff clammed up. “The man whose name causes you to turn into the ice man.”
“What the hell do you want me to say? This is a man whom you lost your virginity to. You loved him. You get your knickers in a twist over Kiersten and I can barely remember a single night I spent with her.”
Was that it? Did it bother him to know I’d loved another man? Why? He didn’t love me, right? He’d just proven that with his callous words at the party.
“As for Bryce, I’m finding it increasingly irritating that you can’t seem to stay away from the man.”
I huffed, “He apologized for coming onto me. Pete, you know Pete, your apparent trusty little manager, told him that things weren’t great between you and I and practically gave the guy an in! Bryce realized Pete was mistaken and he apologized. He just happened to catch me coming out of the house looking like I’d been slapped and he was concerned.”
“Are you being willfully naïve?” he hissed, deliberately avoiding mention of me stepping into that scene with Kiersten and the fact that his factotum was a slime! “He wants in your knickers and he couldn’t make it clearer.”
“Well I let who I want into my knickers, okay! Not Bryce, not you, and not the ghost of my dead husband!”
Heavy silence reigned between us.
Jealousy.
It was such an ugly thing.
Suddenly exhausted, I turned and looked out at the passing scenery. This jealousy wouldn’t exist between us if we were honest with each other. If we’d just admit how we felt. And I was tired of not knowing if I was falling down this rabbit hole on my own.
“I loved Eric.”
“I don’t want to hear it.” Griff was beyond curt.
“You’re supposed to be my friend,” I whispered. “A good friend listens.”
At his silence I continued, “I loved Eric. He was my first love. But I know now that we were just kids, Griff. We loved like two kids. And it was sweet and pure and I’ll never forget or regret him ever.” I looked at him, wishing he’d look back at me. “But it never felt like this.”
His head jerked around, his eyes filled with questions.
And what my longing heart wanted to believe was hope.
But just as quickly as I’d seen that spark of light, it dimmed and his expression grew shuttered.
He didn’t say anything.
Not a word.
And this time when I looked back out the window I let the tears fall.