CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The elevator was heavy with our silence as we made our way up to the penthouse to change out of our party clothes. Griff’s lack of response cut me deeply.
And that pain turned to anger and suspicion. He had never explained what happened between him and Kiersten in that room once I’d left.
“You weren’t gone long enough to give her a good fucking so I can assume you didn’t,” I said, my voice hard as we stepped out into the foyer.
At his silence I turned to find him staring ominously at me.
“Oh right, I forgot I’m not owed an explanation. Well sorry to dispel you of that notion, but while you’re fucking me without a condom you kind of do.”
“Don’t.” He shook his head. “Don’t be ugly. It’s not you.”
I hid my wince. “I’m waiting.”
Anger flared across his features and he seethed as he bent his head to mine. “I didn’t give you a fucking explanation because you should trust me!”
“Like you trust me! The hired wife!”
“I said I should haven’t said that! I’ve already apologized!”
“There aren’t enough apologies in the world, Griffin!”
“I’m not doing this!” His chest heaved and shuddered and his voice lowered when he said, “I’m not going to throw barbs back and forth, and argue until we’re blue in the bloody face. You either trust me or you don’t.” And with that he turned on his heel and got back on the elevator to leave me.
***
The rest of the day was dismal.
I was miserable.
Partly because I didn’t think Griff was wrong about me trusting him. However I was still wounded by his avoidance of what had surmounted to an almost confession of love for him in the car.
Everything about our relationship was so volatile and passionate.
Most times it felt amazing.
Then times like these it hurt like hell.
What was that song called? Only Love Can Hurt Like This.
No truer words.
Not wanting to be near him, not even sure I’d be welcome, I attempted to sleep in my own bed that night. Unfortunately, the hurt kept sleep away. My bed was filled with memories that only confused me, chafing against my skin. At 4am I could take no more. I rolled out of bed, threw on my dressing gown, and made my way downstairs to the spa. The spa always seemed so tranquil. And I needed some of that. The pool sparkled under the light of the moon and I followed that light to the window. Sitting on the window ledge, I stared down at the quiet street.
Life was so surreal. How had I gotten here?
How?
Part of me wanted to go back to my quiet life in South Boston. To my quiet book-filled days and simple nights at Mrs. Donovan’s.
Yet the other part of me… God, the other part of me couldn’t imagine trading those nights in Griff’s arms for anything. Even if the memory of them was excruciating now too.
I heard the outer door open and tensed. Glancing over my shoulder I saw the familiar silhouette of my husband as he entered the pool area. He halted for a second, spotting me, and then he slowly made his way over. The moon finally cast him in light so I could see his expression.
Griff looked weary.
Pensive.
And—tugging at my heart—remorseful.
He stuff his hands in his suit pockets, staring down at me solemnly. “When you weren’t in bed I thought you’d gone to yours instead.”
“I did.”
Something dark flashed in his gaze. “But you couldn’t sleep.”
“No.”
He shook his head, seeming exasperated. “Did anything I said sink in this week? I already told you that I want no one else. Why can’t you hear me when I say that?”
Feeling a prick of guilt, I shrugged. “I focused in on her. On Kiersten. But she wasn’t who I was worried about. What I was worried about. I know that. I’m sorry for not trusting you. But when you’re angry... you lash out at me. It hurts.”
He closed his eyes for a second, seemingly anguished. “You’re the last person I ever want to cause pain. I’m sorry.”
“What are we doing?”
Griff sighed. “I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t like that you loved Eric. I know that makes me a bastard considering what he went through but this is me. This is who I am, Scarlett. I’m a selfish bastard.”
“Griff…”
“And I didn’t like coming to bed to find you not there.” His voice turned rough. “I don’t want anyone else. I don’t see anyone else. All I see… is you. I don’t know what it means. I don’t have—”
“Ssh.” I jumped to my feet and pressed my fingers to his lips. This was enough, I thought. For now. This was enough. It was progress and with Griff, with how difficult it was for him to love, we needed to take it slow. “All I see is you too.”
Without another word, Griff bent and lifted me into his arms. I wasn’t exactly light as a feather but he carried me out of the spa and into the elevator as if I weighed nothing. I slid out of his arms and took his hand in mine. I led him to his bedroom. Yet when I got there I didn’t know what move to make. This didn’t feel like all the times before when it was a rush to experience passion and satisfaction.
There was more thickening the air between us, making our movements slow and languid, like we were walking through water.
I came to a halt at Griff’s bed and felt his intense energy at my back. Even after all the times he’d touched me this felt new again as the heat of him pressed against my back, as his fingertips coasted lightly over my bare arm and his breath whispered across the back of my neck. It seemed more than it ever had before… everything was heightened to a level of sensation we hadn’t experienced together.
Griff’s hands rested on my waist for a few seconds and I heard him take a deep breath before he slid them down over my hips. He caressed me, almost like he’d never explored me before. Slow, curious. And then he reached around and untied my dressing gown before pulling it off my shoulders. It dropped with a rustle to the floor at my feet. Then he lowered to his haunches and gathered the hem of the silk nightgown in his hands. The cool fabric whispered across my skin as he pushed it upward. His hot breath kissed my skin a second before he pressed his lips to one cheek of my ass and then the other. I tingled with need.
“Griff.”
In answer he stood, taking the fabric with him and I lifted my arms to help him remove the nightgown.
Shivering in the cool early morning air I turned to face him.
I lifted my gaze to his and felt his power overwhelm me. His eyes blazed. Yet despite the fierceness of his countenance he remained gentle and explorative.
Griff’s eyes travelled downward as his fingertips trailed back up my arms, across my collarbone and toward the rise of my plump breasts. He followed the rise, goosebumps prickling my skin in the wake of his touch. My breasts swelled and my nipples pebbled with anticipation. I wanted his mouth on me.
“Griff,” I begged hoarsely.
In answer to my needy plea he gripped my hips, gently pulling me against him so I could feel the hard rigid length of his arousal.
“I hate making you cry. Do I ever make you happy?” he asked, his voice thick and low.
The question surprised me but I didn’t let it show. Instead I let my love for him show. “I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you.”
He closed his eyes, like my words were too much to bear. “Scarlett.”
“Take off your clothes.”
His eyes opened and explored my naked body with reverence. He cupped my face in his hands. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Do you believe me?”
“I believe you,” I whispered.
His hands moved to my hips and cool air whispered between us as he stepped back a little to discover me all over again.
And discover me he did.
With light strokes he learned every inch of me with his touch—my ribs, my waist, my belly, my ass, my thighs, the backs of my knees... the tormenting gentleness of his hands only made my sex slicker and hotter with need.
And then he turned to my breasts. Finally.
“So stunning,” he murmured as he reached up and cupped them. “Sometimes all I can think about are your tits.”
I half-giggled half-moaned as I arched into his touch and he smiled. Ripples of desire undulated low in my belly as he played with my breasts, sculpting and kneading them, stroking and pinching my nipples. I thrust into his touch, whimpering my need for him.
Unable to take anymore without tasting him I slid my hands around his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine. I immediately parted my lips, inviting his tongue inside. He kissed me roughly, groaning as he pinched both my nipples. I grabbed his hand and coasted it down my stomach to my pussy. His fingers slipped through my wet and he broke the kiss with a guttural groan.
“Scratch that.” He nipped at my lips. “Sometimes all I can think about is your wet pussy. How fucking tight and hot it is. There is a heaven, Scarlett.” He groaned as he circled my clit. “And it’s inside your cunt.”
“Oh God.” My head fell back, my arms gripping tight to his biceps as I undulated against his touch.
“Griff…” The plea fell from my lips before I could stop it. Our gazes locked as the pressure inside of me began to build.
“All I can think about is the way you come apart when I’m inside you.”
Suddenly I was swept off my feet as Griff carried me to his bed and laid me down on it.
His erection strained against the zipper of his pants.
“Take off your clothes.”
But instead of divesting himself of his clothes, Griff explored me further. My feet, around my ankles, taking a slow, sensuous journey up my legs. He reached my knees and looked up at me.
“Spread your legs.”
I did as he asked and melted into the mattress in anticipation as he nuzzled his mouth against my sex. He licked my clit, pressed his tongue down on it, and my belly rippled with need. But it wasn’t voracious and dirty and rough. He kissed me. He kissed my pussy and licked at it gently, tantalizingly gently, building my orgasm slowly until I was panting, writhing, and flushed burning hot with need.
The orgasm that rolled over me seemed to go on and on, crashing in waves until I was soaked.
I both heard and felt Griff’s satisfied grunt against my inner thigh before he began pressing kisses up over my belly. He fell between my open legs, the friction of his clothes against my skin felt more erotic than naked skin. My thighs tightened against his hips when his lips closed around my nipple. He sucked deep, hard, a pleasurable pain rushing through me as he moved against me. As he had done with his hands he began to play my breasts with his hot mouth until I was on the brink of release again.
And then he was gone. Standing by the side of the bed Griff removed his clothes with a patience I did not feel.
“Griff, hurry.”
His eyes blazed with need but he shook his head.
I felt like I was burning up. My fingers curled into the duvet, tightening into the fabric as he was revealed to me. Strong, muscular, tight abs all wrapped up in that beautiful golden skin. My lips fell to that brooding mouth of his with his full lower lip.
My heart squeezed.
Yes, he was handsome. I’d always thought so.
But now… now he was so beautiful it made me want to cry.
As if he understood what I was feeling, his expression softened from fierce need to sultry desire. He put his knee to the bed and then curled his hands behind my knees. I let out a little gasp as he pulled me toward him. Angling my hips, gripping tight to my thighs, he held my legs open as he kneeled between them. I let out a moan as he nudged against me and then pushed inside. My slick wetness eased his way and I grabbed purchase on his biceps as I tilted my hips.
Griff held my gaze as he pushed in through the swollen, tight muscles and seated himself fully inside me. His chest rose and fell in shuddering breaths as he gazed at me, not moving, just feeling. As always he was overwhelmingly thick and I helplessly undulated, desperate to feel the push and pull.
Griff’s eyes moved to between my legs as he pulled out to the tip. Then he watched his cock slide back inside of me. “Look at you,” he whispered. “Look at you take me.” Our eyes connected. “You feel fucking amazing.” He wrapped my legs around his waist and fell over me, kissing me with gentle hunger as he glided slowly in and out of me.
Tears burned in the back of my eyes as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my ankles locked tight across his back. He kissed me, my lips, my cheeks, my nose, my neck, my breasts. He kissed me everywhere with a reverence and tenderness I’d never experienced before.
And when we came apart in each other’s arms, I held him to me, stroking his hair, caressing him, until he wrapped his arms around me and turned onto his back taking me with him.
I nestled into his heat, tucked into his body, and smiled as he kissed the top of my head.
No we hadn’t exchanged words of love but we both knew that what we’d just shared hadn’t just been sex.
We’d just made love to each other.