I take a drag on the beer I pulled from my fridge. My emotions are in a knot in my chest. I keep telling myself that I don’t care, that Kendra wasn’t good for me and I was shit for her. But I can’t sleep. The last few nights have been torture.

She’s embedded beneath my skin. I sent her away, told her that she didn’t mean anything to me. And it was a fucking lie.

I fucked up so badly with her, and I don’t know how to fix things.

I settle into the couch and look around the house. The place that belongs to Butch, the only real home I’ve known. I’m the final stand. The only one left who cares. Not even my neighbors give any fucks about what happens to us.

Why am I being so stubborn?

Butch wants to sell.

I’m holding on to a dream. To a ghost. It isn’t real.

It took all of my pride to look up Charles on the internet and send him a text. To tell him that Butch is ready to sell.

But I had to do it. This isn’t my home anymore.

Charles is supposed to arrive in a few minutes. Sealing my fate. I can’t go back from this. And that’s probably for the best. I need to change; I know that much. Butch already signed documentation assigning me permission to do these dealings on his behalf. This is the last thing I’m going to do for him, so I’ll do it right.

There’s a rap at my door, and I get up to answer it. “Hey,” I say to Charles, giving him a quick nod.

“Hello.” Charles comes in, bearing a thick folder of paper, and settles on the opposite end of the couch.

We just sit there for a moment, looking at each other. There’s pain in both our eyes. I fucked up with Kendra, I know that much. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, pushed her away. But it’s clear he fucked up with her too. The shit he pulled with me…she’s still angry about that. I can tell by the way Charles is acting.

Some of the arrogance and pomposity has been wiped off his face. I wish it felt satisfying, but I only feel pity and a sense of loss for both of us.

Charles exhales hard and digs through his papers. “So you’ve been granted power of attorney,” he says. “Good. I just need a copy of that document, and we can have you sign off on selling his property.”

I hand a copy to him, having anticipated he’d want one.

It takes a solid half hour to fill out all the fucking paperwork. I initial, again and again, trying to not be frustrated as we move through the process of selling Butch’s house. It is what it is, and he wanted this.

I have to let go.

We finish the paperwork, and Charles closes the folder. Looks at me.

“So. Have you…” He clears his throat and looks away. “Talked to her any?”

The vulnerability he’s exposing to me makes my heart lurch. So I’m not the only one who is fucking reeling from the loss of a relationship with Kendra. Part of me actually feels pity for him. Because I can see how it’s impacted him.

He’s not the same man I knew before.

I suppose I’m not, either.

Charles shifts in his seat and peers at me. “We fucked up.” The words are delivered so evenly that I almost don’t even hear them, in a weird way. It’s too smooth, like nothing happened.

I frown. “What’s going on with you?”

Charles sighs, stares up at my ceiling. “Oh, she’s not talking to me. I haven’t heard from her in weeks. I’m guessing you haven’t, either.”

No. Because I freaked out and pushed her away, and I’m too embarrassed and don’t know what to do.

He must read my answer on my face, because he gives me a wry smile. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”

I just nod. I don’t know what else to do. I wasn’t expecting to bond with her father about how I lost her. But I also wasn’t expecting him to be so blunt with me, so open.

“Why?” I finally ask him. “Why did you not even listen to my proposal?”

Charles sighs, shifts. “Because I didn’t think you deserved her. I didn’t want to encourage you talking to her.” He looks at me. “I’ve made some horrible mistakes in my life, but this was the worst. She won’t talk to me now.”

I sigh. “I suppose she has good reason to not speak to either of us.”

Her dad eyes me. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

“I don’t know that we can,” I admit to him. “The best I can do is try to be a better person than I was.”

And it’s true. It’s fucking true. Since I broke up with Kendra, I’ve been unable to stop thinking about her. Missing her. Wondering how I can make it in life without her smile. She inspired me, made me feel alive.

And now I have to do that for myself.

We stare at each other for a moment.

“Axel.” He eyes me hard. “I don’t know what it is about you, but my daughter loves you. I tried to stop it. But she was willing to leave me because of you.”

The oxygen locks in my lungs, hearing it put that way. I suspected that she had moved out, but hearing him articulate it like this reinforced it for me. “I would do anything for her,” I say plainly.

“Would you?” Charles arches a brow at me. “I’m not the one you need to prove that to.”

He’s right. I need to show my change to Kendra. But I’m not there yet. I have more in my life to fix. I have growth I have to accomplish. And then I can come to her, a man who is ready for her, who deserves her. Right now, that isn’t me.

Charles leaves, and I sit in the house, alone. Look around at these walls like it’s my last time. Which I suppose it is. I’ll be finding my own apartment soon, moving out of here. This place is going to be flattened to the ground to make way for the mall.

A house can’t represent family for me.

I have to let it go.

Because my brothers are still here, still around. But I’ve been mad that they weren’t willing to connect with me in the way I wanted. On my ground, my terms.

It’s time to let that go, to stop being hung up on those things. It’s time to not compare them to the past, but to accept them as they are. Hope that they can accept me. That we can forge some kind of a relationship as we are now.

Kendra was right, so damn right, and I have to accept that, even though it’s hard to admit as much.

I linger on the first floor there for a while, meandering around blindly. Not sure what to do. The mall deal is supposed to finalize soon—he just has to file the paperwork and get a few more homeowners to finish their own documents. I have to let this house go. It was never mine to begin with.

The thought is just as disturbing as it is freeing.

I get on my motorcycle and head to Fugitives. I haven’t been there since I quit. But for some reason, I want to see Hale. Want to know what he’s doing, how the restaurant is surviving.

I get to the parking lot and park, then step inside. There’s a decent crowd, with good music playing over the loudspeakers. People are swaying as they talk. Hale was always good about figuring out what customers wanted to hear.

I stroll up to the bar. Hale and the part-time guy he hired before I quit are there, slinging drinks from the beer taps and serving food. They’re working the crowd with broad smiles, and for a moment, I miss being here with them.

It’s better now that I don’t work here, but I miss the closeness with my brother.

He spots me, and I see the smile slide off his face. His brows dip in concern.

I hold my hands up in a symbol of surrender.

Hale studies me another moment, then moves away from behind the bar. He steps toward me. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I reply back. Now that I’m here, I don’t know what to say. I’m so fucking awkward. How do I apologize for months of grievances? How do I let him know how I feel about him, that I want a real relationship with him? This shit is hard. How the fuck do people do this?

Hale rubs his jaw. “Um. So, did you need something?”

And now it’s on me. I shift. “I…I wanted to apologize.” The words spill out before I know what to do with them.

“Oh, is that right?” His eyes are hard on mine. He clearly doesn’t know what to think about what I’m saying. Not that I can blame him. Last time I was here, I was a dick.

I draw in a slow breath. “I didn’t end things well with us. I was mad because…” Say it, Axel, I demand of myself. “Because I felt like I was just the half-brother, not as important. And I had a chip on my shoulder, even if it wasn’t fair.”

“I don’t view you that way,” Hale says, his eyes filled with concern as he looks at me. “I mean…I know when you first moved in that it took time for us to adjust, but I feel like we overcame that. Maybe I was wrong.” He shrugs.

“No, I…” I steel myself and admit the rawness I’m feeling. “I never felt like I belonged, but I know part of that was me. I never saw myself as equal, so I assumed you guys didn’t either.”

His eyes are sad as he scrutinizes me for several long moments of silence.

I look away. “Anyway. I fucked up with the way I quit, and I wanted to apologize and make amends. I don’t know if we can go back to what we had, but I’d like to.”

“I would too,” Hale murmurs. “I’ve missed having you around here.”

“You have?” I can’t help the shocked way I sound.

He frowns. “Of course I have. You were an integral part of getting this place up and running.” He claps my shoulder. “And…you’re my brother. I’ve missed you.”

I don’t know how to deal with the sharp warmth spreading through my sternum. I’ve never heard one of my brothers say this before, that they miss me. I just look at him in surprise.

“Anyway.” Hale clears his throat, like he’s embarrassed to, not just me. “It was good to see you at the picnic. And the girl you brought…she’s sweet at hell. I hope you’re still seeing her. Phoebe liked her a lot.”

My heart is thudding so hard that I’m sure he can hear it. “I fucked up with her. But I want to win her back. I just don’t know how.”

For the first time ever, Axel looks at me with empathy. Not just sympathy, but like he gets where I am. “Fuck. I know exactly how you feel, bro. But you’re on the right fucking path. Just keep working on bettering yourself.”

The words sound simple, but they bolster me, enough to make me smile. I give Hale a hug with a bro pat on the back, and he does the same.

It’s the closest we’ve been in years.

I head back home and for the first time, take an honest look around. The place is run-down, tired. Empty. All of my brothers have left, and I’ve been holding on to something that doesn’t exist anymore.

I see it now.

For the first time, I’m ready to truly let this place go. To move toward my own happiness and not obsess over what was in the past. Things are never going to be what they were. And that’s a positive. They shouldn’t be. My brothers realized it before I did…this place isn’t good for us.

If I’m going to grow, I have to let the past go and evolve.

Time for me to move out. Move forward. I spend the next few days packing, clearing my shit out of there. Deciding what I want to take with me into my new place.

I was one of the last in the neighborhood to sign, and Charles sends me a message when the last holdout is gone. They’re ready to move forward with building the mall now.

On demolition day, I can’t help but be here, watch the neighborhood as it’s ripped down and changed into something else.

Charles claps a hand on my shoulder. “You did the right thing,” he says, giving me a nod of respect. “I know this was hard, but your future is going to be great.”

“It had better,” I joke. “You’re destroying the place I used to live.”

The man on the large demolition equipment rolls through, and the neighborhood is being ripped down before I realize it. Flattened. Soon enough, there’s nothing but rubble on my street staring at me. I can hardly believe it. Years gone in a flash.

But I’m the only one here looking at it. Everyone else took the deal and left this place behind.

“Take care of the old place,” I tell Charles.

“I will,” he promises.

There’s a respect between us now. We both lost Kendra, and we’re both suffering for it. I know he didn’t intend for it to go that far, and he’s clearly regretful. That much is evident, given by his dealings with me now.

I watch the demolition for a few more minutes, and then I walk away. I have more to worry about now than the past. I have my future ahead of me.