As I’d expected, the doctor was able to see Kaley first thing in the morning. The OB/GYN was a good friend of my own doctor, and they tended toward the same habits; specifically, an aversion to scheduling appointments before ten. My family had donated a significant amount of money to the medical complex in which he practiced, and he was more than happy to see us on short notice once he heard my name.

“Do you mind if I come in with you?” I asked Kaley when the nurse called her name.

“Um…no,” she said hesitantly.

It struck me that she had been timid and quiet since the night before, the way she had been when I’d first approached her. As she followed the nurse’s instructions for weight, vitals, and other tests, I wondered if the three weeks we’d been apart had somehow drawn our relationship back in time.

Relationship…the word startled me even as I thought it. We certainly had one, but the nature of it was still uncertain. Kaley had made it clear that romance was not her first priority; if it had been, she never would have agreed to this. Perhaps she had met someone in my absence who was making her regret that decision. I wanted to know, but I couldn’t think of a way to ask which wouldn’t sound like an accusation.

“Get undressed from the waist down and get on the table, please. The doctor will be in shortly,” the nurse said with a smile.

She left the room, and Kaley glanced awkwardly at me.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” I pointed out.

“I know,” she said, her cheeks blushing crimson. “It’s just…just turn around, please.”

I did as she asked, not wanting to press her boundaries. If this was going to work…and it had to, now, with another life on the line…I was going to have to manage my pride with an iron will.

She was in a rough mood this morning, I thought, though I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. She had what she wanted, and so did I, for the most part. It didn’t make sense for her eyes to be dull and overcast, or for her quick smile to be hidden away behind a firm, grim line.

I heard the paper rustling behind me, but waited for her cue.

“All right, you can turn around now,” she sighed.

I did so, and couldn’t help but smile. The soft, round curves of her body draped in teddy bear-printed paper, her brown curls cascading over the powder blue medical pillow, and her small, pretty hands nervously twisting in her lap made her look every bit the expectant mother. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming, but the doctor knocked on the door before I could act on it.

“Good morning Miss Marshall, Mr. Dane. I’m Dr. Hooley; it’s lovely to meet you. How are we feeling this morning?”

“A touch nauseated,” Kaley answered, chewing her lip. “And a little nervous.”

“Both completely natural,” Dr. Hooley told her with a paternal smile. His bald head reflected the bright white lights above, and his small, circular wire-rimmed glasses reminded me of a fairy-tale dwarf.

“Now, Miss Marshall, I have a pretty good idea of how far along you are based on the HGC levels in your sample, but I would prefer to do an ultrasound to be certain. When was the last time you had your annual exam?”

“Six months ago,” she told him unabashedly. “All clear.”

“Very good,” Hooley said warmly. “Then we won’t bother with that uncomfortable mess today.”

He pushed a few buttons on a complex-looking machine beside him, then applied a generous amount of blue jelly to her stomach. Kaley didn’t seem surprised in the slightest, so I relaxed. After a moment, the doctor pulled a wand from the side of the machine and began rolling it over my lover’s belly.

“Shouldn’t there be a heartbeat?” Kaley asked after a moment.

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect to see one this early,” Hooley said comfortingly. “All we can expect to see today is…there we are. The gestational sac. Yes, my dear, you are most certainly pregnant. No more than three weeks, from my estimation.”

“Three weeks?” she repeated weakly.

“Maybe a few days more,” he murmured as he measured various shadows on the screen. “But right around three weeks. Any less, and I wouldn’t see anything; a week or two more, and I would probably find the heartbeat. Yes, three weeks sounds right to me.”

I smiled over at Kaley, who looked pale and drawn all of a sudden.

“Well, folks, there you have it. I would like to see you again in one month, Miss Marshall. At that point, we should be able to catch a glimpse of your little one. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

“No, thank you,” Kaley said quietly.

“Very well. Take your time getting dressed, and stop by the desk on your way out for your next appointment. Congratulations!”

“Thank you,” Kaley repeated.

“Yes, thanks, Dr. Hooley,” I said, shaking his hand. “And again, I appreciate you seeing us on such short notice.”

“Any time,” the doctor said with a twinkle in his eye.

As the door closed behind him, I looked over at Kaley. Her face was buried in her hands and her shoulders shook, and for a moment, I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying. A tear leaked out from between her fingers, clarifying the situation.

“Kaley, are you all right?” I asked, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

She looked up at me, her face completely miserable. In her eyes, I saw a reflection of my own inner turmoil; the insistent, overwhelming feelings contradicting everything we had agreed to at the outset. She dried her face and blew her nose, then pasted on a weak smile.

I held her hand, trying to make it easy for her. If she would only say the words, tell me that she felt the same way, then I could relieve myself of this heavy burden on my heart. I could tell her all of the crazy things I had been thinking and feeling, secure in the knowledge that she would accept them, and maybe even reciprocate them.

“I’m just so happy,” she said finally, crushing my hopes in five short syllables. “I’m going to be a mommy!”

“Yes,” I said, returning her smile as best I could. “Yes, you are. And my reputation will be restored. Looks like everything’s turning out exactly the way we wanted it to.”

A shadow crossed over her eyes, then, and I hated myself for not having the courage to ask about it. It felt invasive, somehow—as if I wasn’t worthy of her inner thoughts if I wasn’t willing to share my own. We worked well together on the surface, as partners. I began to come to grips with the idea that I might have to be satisfied with that alone.

“I’m happy, too,” I continued, stepping away from her to regain my composure. “We will need to make an announcement. Company-wide to begin with, I think. I’ll smooth it over with Chase.”

I turned away from her so she could dress in peace.

“We’ll wait the traditional three months, then throw a party. Let’s see, three months…that falls right around the Autumn Wrap Party. Perfect! Of course, we’ll be announcing our relationship as well as the baby, unless you would rather unveil the one before the other. It would put a lot of pressure on us to pretend in public, but it would give us some practice. What’s your opinion?”

“Let’s just do it all at once,” Kaley said tiredly. “Take me home, please. I feel sick.”

At least she would tell me that much.

One of these days, I vowed, she would tell me what she felt beneath the surface. Even if her feelings didn’t match mine exactly, they would give me a place to start from. As long as she kept silent, I was working in the dark, basing every decision upon the assumption that the business relationship was as far as her feelings for me went.

Maybe that was the truth; maybe it wasn’t; either way, I couldn’t make an intelligent decision unless I knew. Damn it all, I didn’t even know what she was crying for! Those hadn’t been tears of joy. I might not know women as well as I should, but I knew distress when I saw it, and she was clearly distressed. The only unanswerable, infuriating question was why?