Left alone in my office once more, I took a moment to think over the situation. I opened my browser, clicking over to the sperm donor database I’d been frequenting for the past few months.

People say beggars can’t be choosers, but when it came to my future child, I wanted to see it to it that he or she had the happiest, most successful life possible. I wasn’t just going to pick some random guy who had a PhD, or even someone who looked like a model—they had to have the perfect mix of all the right traits, and as days continued to pass, it was becoming evident that I wouldn’t find that in a database of random men.

I thought I had been as proactive as I could possibly manage. I was certain I had explored every available avenue, but it was clear that I was still lacking for something. I tried to deny the direction my thoughts were headed in, made an effort to ignore the undeniable call of my heart. My deepest desires were unachievable, at least, that’s what I tried to tell my furiously pounding head. You’d be surprised how far a desperate woman will go to get what she wants. At the very least, I knew Jensen would be surprised.

Working up the nerve to talk to him took more time than I cared to admit, and I spent an immeasurable amount of time pretending to carry out work assignments. Granted, I accomplished little more than reading the first three or so messages in my inbox, flagging them as important. At this rate, I’d likely mark everything in my inbox as important, but it wouldn’t exactly be a lie. Everything I received in this inbox was important. It was my job to determine just what, exactly, qualified as important enough to forward to Jensen.

On my good days, I did what I could to filter out the things I could handle on my own. I was having a bit more trouble than usual that day, probably because checking my email was just a poor means of distracting myself from the task that actually occupied my thoughts. It would be unwise to approach my boss without a plan perfectly formulated, and I tried desperately to organize my thoughts.

Belatedly, I realized it would probably be wise to clear my browsing data; it wouldn’t do for Jensen to see my idle searching for sperm donors on company time. Especially considering the fact that I wanted him to take the job, as it were. On the off chance he were to indulge me, I knew it was most likely that he would take the more clinical approach to providing the samples. As much as I liked to entertain the fact of actually sleeping with my boss, I also knew I would settle for anything he allowed me.

Though I spent long nights fantasizing about him claiming me as his own, to bear his child would be the next best thing. I could only hope that since he was hoping to have children, he could understand my plight. I could only pray that he would see how easily we could solve each other’s problems. Beyond having a child of my own, I wanted nothing more than to make my boss and friend happy.

The sex would be a nice addition, but I wasn’t at the point of allowing my hopes to soar that high.

Shaking off the thoughts of what Jensen would look like without his clothes on, I pushed away from my desk as I realized it was nearing time to clock out. I was swiftly running out of time to enact my plan, so I shut off my computer before walking out the door. Jensen seemed to still be lingering in his office, though I knew he wouldn’t make a point of sticking around after the clock struck six.

Approaching the door to his office, I rapped my knuckles against it and rocked back on my heels as I waited for him to call me inside. I wasn’t left waiting for long, though I was startled when he actually opened the door and considered me with an appraising look.

“Is something wrong, Ashley?” he asked idly, leaning against the doorframe. I could tell he was still troubled by the significance of the day, and before I could back out, I quickly tried to make an excuse for us to spend more time together.

“Oh! No, I’m fine. I was just worried about you. I know this has probably been a rough day, and I was going to ask, well, if you’d like to join me for dinner?” I rambled, finally coming out with it when it seemed I couldn’t prolong the conversation any longer.

Jensen tilted his head adorably, looking somewhat confused by my answer. We had never made a point of spending time together off the clock before, in spite of our close working relationship. Hoping I’d not raised any alarm bells in his mind, I offered him a nervous smile.

“I could use some company, I suppose,” he said warmly, and I managed to swallow a victorious cheer, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“You know how much I care about you, Jensen,” I said, looking at him with all the sincerity in the world. He relaxed somewhat, quirking his lips in a fond and confident smile.

“Oh, you’re sweet. Let me tie up a few loose ends here, and we can meet downtown, at the Cerf Blanc,” he said, his voice so warm and sweet I could nearly taste the words on my tongue. “We’ll call it my treat. After all, it’s kind enough for you to want to spend time with your mopey boss,” he said with a grin. My cheeks flushed, and I averted my eyes timidly.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. After the raise you so generously offered me, I’m not exactly hurting for money,” I replied with a soft laugh.

“Well, I’m not one to let my dates go Dutch,” he said slyly. I felt my cheeks redden, and I sputtered a bit helplessly for a moment. “Oh, I’m just teasing you, Ashley. Still, I’d be thrilled if you’d allow me to take care of dinner,” he continued. He seemed all too ecstatic about making me squirm, but Jensen had always been the type to play a sort of emotional tug of war.

The game had never been aimed at me, however. Only on those he found a genuine interest in. Perhaps I was allowing my hopes to rise too high, but could you blame a girl? A relationship with Jensen Elliott would be a dream come true for any number of women in the city; hell, probably the world.

“All right. I’ll let you pay, but you have to agree to let me pay you back sometime,” I said with something of a pout, something the handsome man seemed enthralled by. He laughed, drawing away from me and retreating back into his office. “I’ll only be a few moments longer. Loose ends, like I said.”

I nodded obligingly, taking a seat in the waiting area. I fiddled with my phone as I waited, idly wondering if he were still looking over the surrogacy websites I’d seen on his browser. How bold I was being struck me rather suddenly, and I was momentarily worried that he may be angry at my snooping.

As much as I didn’t want to poke the bear, it was clear that I would have to reveal my snooping in order to bring up my hopes about arranging a deal. Was the potential of angering my boss worth the chance of bearing his child? The answer was obvious to me. Especially if, God willing, it meant I got to sleep with him.

The train of thought was far from professional, but, I’d long given up on remaining strictly professional. I smiled to myself, unable to ignore the giddy feeling working its way into my gut.

“What has you all smiles?” Jensen asked suddenly, and I jolted upright, wondering how I’d not heard him come out of his office.

“Oh, just…something on my phone,” I lied, immediately realizing my folly when it looked as if he would ask to see.

Mercifully, he simply smiled and nodded his head before stepping toward me. He extended his arm, as if he would to a woman he were taking on a grand date. Dangerous territory though it may have been, I decided to allow myself to entertain the fantasy, at least for a little while.

“All right. Off we go, then?” he suggested, guiding me toward the elevator. I allowed myself to be pulled, in nothing short of a trance, as we moved forward.

Off we go, indeed. Though in my case, it felt more like I were going off the deep end. Not that I was complaining.