There’s something about the streets of San Francisco that always calms me down.

While some people find the frantic rhythm of the city too much for them, I seem to thrive on it. Traffic jams, streets bustling with people and noise, and a night that never seems to really take hold. This is my city, and I love it.

Closing my jacket against the evening breeze, I keep on walking through the streets, wandering without aim. I’ve thought of picking up another night shift at one of the bars, but then I decided against it; my mind’s too busy for me to be able to focus on anything else.

Yeah, I guess I don’t need to tell you what my mind’s busy with, do I? It’s been the same for days now, and I don’t think that’ll change… Unless, of course, I do something about it. But what can I do exactly? This might seem a simple thing to most people, but I’ve never had to deal with a situation like this… Usually women are the ones throwing themselves at my feet, and my answer is always a clear ‘no’ (okay, sometimes it’s a ‘yes’, but just for the night).

Maybe I’m overthinking it. How hard can it be? I just need to look into her eyes and say that I’m into her! This isn’t rocket science.

Yeah, but what if she laughs at you?, that little voice inside my whispers. Pursing my lips, I stuff my hands inside my pockets and slow down my pace, imagining everything that can go wrong. What if Emily wants nothing more than to be casual with me? After all, I have no idea if she’s falling for me as well… Judging by the moments we’ve spent together, I’d say that’s the case, but then why is she dating other men?

What if she says she’s not ready?

That she’s having too much fun being single?

Rejection, I think that’s what I’m afraid of. I’ve never had to deal with it, and I’m not sure if I can take that punch. I’ve been spending so much time thinking of Emily that I honestly don’t know how I’d react if she simply vanished from my life, which is exactly what might happen if I tell her how I feel. After all, that’s exactly the kind of thing I’ve been doing all of my life.

Karma’s a bitch, no doubt about it.

It’s already been a few days after my sparring session with Tad, and I still haven’t been able to make up my mind. I simply can’t decide if I should keep my feelings hidden from Emily, or if I should simply come clean.

“Ah, fuck…” I mutter, a headache already brewing on the back of my head. I don’t think I’ve ever gave this much thought to anything before. Compared to love, running a million dollar business is a piece-of-cake.

Then, derailing my train of though, I feel my phone buzzing inside my pocket. I reach for it fast, and what do you know? It’s Emily.

“Hey,” I answer, putting the phone up to my ear as I let a smile creep up on my lips. I always made fun of people that couldn’t hide their excitement whenever they picked up the phone or received a text message from someone they fancied, but now I find myself on the other side of the barricade. Just like a horny teenager, I can’t hide my excitement whenever I see her name on my phone screen.

“Hey…” she answers me back, but I notice something off about her tone of voice. She doesn’t sound as happy or playful as I’m used to, and I immediately start thinking that something must’ve happened.

“Is everything okay?” I ask her, and that’s when I realize that I really care about her. More than lust or passion, it seems that I’m worried about her happiness and well-being.”

“Yeah… I’m okay,” she tells me, but I’m not convinced.

“Are you sure? Because you sound a little… off.”

“No, don’t worry,” she insists, and I’m about to protest when she continues. “Are you busy right now?”

“No, I’m free,” I reply.

If there’s anything you should know about me, is that I only have one religion: my business. Work hours are holy, and I devote all my energy into making sure my business is a well oiled machine. But even if I were busy, I’d leave everything at the drop of a hat just to be with her. That’s how fucking crazy about this girl I am.

“Can you come over?” she asks me, and I’ve already turned on my heels and started walking back to my car before she finishes her sentence.

“I’m on my way right now,” I reply, hurrying down the street and already cursing at myself for leaving my car so far. Walking aimlessly sounded like a fun idea, but now that I’m almost a mile away from my car I already regret it.

“Hurry, I’ll be waiting,” she whispers right before ending the call. By the time I stuff my phone back into my pocket, I’m walking so fast that you could call it running. It takes me less than ten minutes to see the hood of my car glinting under the night lamps, its sleek curves telling me that I’m in a hurry.

Even though I’ve owned this sports car for two years now, I never really used it whenever I was in a hurry. That’s just a good way to get yourself killed, or so I thought. Now that I know Emily’s waiting for me, I don’t even care about it.

Sitting behind the steering wheel, I rev up the engine and then push my left foot down on the pedal. Half-a-second later and I’m speeding down the street, the loud growl of the engine making everyone on the sidewalks turn their heads to watch me go.

“I’m coming,” I whisper, my heart galloping inside my chest. Even if Emily told me she was in Antarctica right now, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it — I’d hurry there as fast as it would be humanly possible.

Man, what happened to the old me?