I’m sitting on my couch, with the television on but muted. I glance at my phone, and find that it’s about six in the evening. I left Emma at her house this morning, with the understanding that she would shower and then meet me here.

I actually have a real date planned for us, at a fancy restaurant and everything. I planned something kinky and fantastic for us later tonight, complete with a small army of newly purchased sex toys and restraints awaiting us in my bedroom.

Now, though, I am starting to wonder where she is. And that in itself bothers me… when did I start giving a fuck where any girl was?

That’s the problem. Emma isn’t just any girl. She’s wrapped herself around me, and grown inside me like a weed. Anytime I think about it too much, my heart does this squeezing thing, a feeling that is more than a little bit uncomfortable for me.

Coupled with my thoughts when I was on the beach yesterday, I genuinely have something to worry about when it comes to Emma. She’s starting to be a real problem for me.

But she’s a problem that I don’t want to quit, which makes her doubly frustrating.

As long as I don’t let the word L-O-V-E crash into my thoughts again, though, I should be fine. For a while, at least.

When I hear the front door handle jiggle, I’m relieved. It’s not that I thought that anything happened to Emma, so much as it is the fact that I’m just vaguely stressed out when she’s not in front of me, where I can see her.

I get up and head for the front door, thinking that maybe she’s locked out. When I get a few steps from the front door though, the door bangs open to reveal a very, very drunken Asher.

He squints at me. I recoil, expecting him to yell at me again like he did yesterday. But he just trips over his own feet, falling. I step in and catch him, frowning.

He’s like about as helpful as a dead fish, snickering like a fool. “I’m drunkkkkk.”

“Whoa, whoa,” I say, staggering under his unexpected weight. It takes me a minute to help him regain his footing. “You are wasted.”

He stands up, wobbling his way to the living room. I close the front door, and then head in there too, where I see he has made himself comfortable by sprawling out on the couch.

I walk up behind the couch and cast an eye over him. His eyes are closed, an arm thrown over his face. He could be passed out for all I know.

“Are you okay?” I ask, clearing my throat.

“I have to tell you something,” he says, not moving an inch. His words are very slurred.

“Is it why you’re so loaded right now?” Asher normally isn’t a big drinker. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen him this drunk.

“Mmm. Nope,” he says, shaking his head under his arm. “Nuh uh. It’s about me and Evie.”

I still. “I’m sorry?”

“She’s a bitch, you know that?”

I’m very confused. “Evie that works at Cure?”

Asher takes his arm off his eyes. “Obv- obvious—”

Then he hiccups. I try to put two and two together, but I’m lost.

“Why is she a bitch, exactly?”

He sighs, sinking down into the couch further. “Exactly. She dumped—” He stops, then hiccups again. “She dumped me. Me, Jameson. It’s like…”

He makes a frustrated sound. “Who does she think she is, some like… some big time person? Psssh.”

“Uhhh…” I didn’t even know that they were dating, to be honest. “I don’t know.”

“That kid is gonna look just like me,” he says. “You’ll see.”

I am so beyond confused. Before I can formulate a question, though, he’s onto another topic entirely.

“Jenna’s a big ol bitch too. I knew it. I was so mad at you for telling me that, but she was a super crazy bitch. I wasn’t even that surprised that she like—” He hiccuped. “Like, she tried to make out with you. She knows that you’re like, the most important person in my life, other than my sister. Fucking women, they’re all crazy.”

There are too many ideas in that single thought. I try to pick them apart, to choose one to focus on.

“I… wait, you knew that Jenna was lying?”

He blows a raspberry. “I figured it out! Well… she admitted it to me.”

“Then why were you such a giant bag of dicks for so long?” I say, mystified.

He squints up at me out of one eye. “Didn’t want you to be right. Now I’m not married, and Evie left me. An all I have is you and Emma to keep me company.”

I grow uncomfortable at the mention of Emma’s name. “Listen, Ash—”

He sits straight up, pointing a finger at me. “I should be glad to have someone like you on my team, Jay. Like—” He hiccups. “Emma has to be on my team, but you? You’re just a good dude. Like, you’re loyal, and good. And I’m like, a bastard.”

I immediately feel super ashamed of myself, of running around behind Asher’s back with a girl. Emma isn’t just any girl to me of course… but she’s not just anyone to Asher, either.

How could I let this happen? And with Emma, the only person that Asher claims to care about more than me?

I’m so fucking dead. Stupid, and dead.

Asher struggles to his feet, completely oblivious to whatever internal angst I’m feeling. “I gotta puke.”

He launches himself toward the bathroom, and I follow him, feeling all kinds of guilty. I cringe as he vomits for a while, offering towels when he needs them.

I hear the front door open, and I hurry out of the bathroom and into the front hall. I see Emma, showered and smelling like lemons, and I put a finger to my lips.

“Asher is here,” I mouth.

Her eyes go wide, and she starts backing out of the house. I put a hand on her arm, motioning for her to wait outside for a few minutes.

I return to the bathroom, where Asher seems to be done throwing up. He’s resting his head on the toilet bowl, but I figure he’s done.

“Asher? You ready to move into your bedroom, man?”

He nods, mostly asleep already. It takes a lot of effort, but I get him up. I throw an arm around his waist and get him into his bed. He doesn’t even notice when I slip off his shoes and turn off his light.

When I leave his room, I go to the front door. Opening it a crack, I look out. I see Emma there, her head down, looking through her phone. Her dark hair spills to her shoulders. She’s chewing on her bottom lip, obviously anxious.

I want to go to her, to comfort her. My instinct is to go over to her, grab her, and give her a long, slow kiss.

But what will that solve? Asher will still be her brother. She will still be out of bounds. And don’t even get me started on all the other reasons why this thing between us just won’t work.

Still, that doesn’t make me long for her any less.

I have to break it off. I knew that having sex with Emma was going to get me in trouble, and now here I am. In serious trouble. Still, I have to do what’s right.

And I will… even if it kills me a little inside.

But not tonight. One last night together won’t kill anyone, will it?

She senses my presence, and turns. I open the door.

“Hey,” she says softly. She smiles at me, and for the barest moment, I feel hope.

“I’m just going to go get my stuff. Your brother is passed out here, so I figure we should probably stay at your place.” I smile faintly, but it feels phony.

She cocks her head at the weirdness in my tone, but shrugs. “Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

I close the door, pausing for a second to lean against it.

I’m going to have to break things off today, and I don’t know how I’ll do it.

Steeling myself, I go to pack my stuff.