CHAPTER 26
Landon Lane
THE WAVES PERPETUALLY CRASHED ON the shoreline. I was older. I’d just returned from an assassination mission executed to perfection. Killed an African dictator in the middle of his home in the Sudan. Crept right inside his window undetected and injected him with potassium chloride to make it look like a heart attack.
People—mainly because of television—had a misconception that assassinations meant sniper rifles or slitting someone’s throat with a knife. Bloody messes that consisted of action and suspense. But the goal was to make it look like a natural death with no responsibility. In and out with nobody to blame and no evidence left behind. Completely covert. The leader was too strong and wanted to change too many things. He was being unpredictable and not falling in line with the powers that be.
Titan.
I didn’t have the luxury of worrying about politics. Politics didn’t exist on Hell’s Island. Only missions and results.
I’d made my way out of his compound and into a safe zone for extraction. They brought me straight back to the island for debriefing. Nobody had ever known I was in the country. Nobody had known who I was. I didn’t exist to the world.
I existed to myself though. It ate at me night and day. The others didn’t seem to have the same problem. They did what they did and went on with life. Trained the same way. Waited for the next call. Rinse and repeat.
I sat in my bunk while the others slept.
“You okay?” A voice came from the dark.
I didn’t know how to respond. We weren’t trained to socially interact. We spoke monotone and clear. No dialect. This voice had an inflection. I’d heard it in airports and in brief interactions with operation liaisons.
“Yes.”
“All right, then.” The footsteps faded.
I looked down at my footlocker where I kept my gear. There was a plate with a sandwich on it.
“Hey, asshole.” A giant hand shook me awake. It could only belong to one person.
I glanced back to Logan’s door and then back up at Joe. “What do you want?”
“Have fun on your date?”
I shook my head. “Didn’t happen.”
Joe leaned back against the wall across from me. “Want to talk about it?”
My head shot up to meet his stare. What the hell was going on? Had he been watching Dr. Phil? “Not really.”
He shrugged. “It’s something I’ve heard people say. Seemed right in the moment.”
Thank God he was still his normal self. “You’re catching on quick.” At that moment I started to worry humanity was going to taint him.
He looked down the hallway like he was staring to the edge of the earth. “I can see why you like it here.”
“Why’s that?”
“Don’t know what it is exactly.”
“Logan likes you.”
Joe smiled. “I like him too. He showed me Batman the other day.” He grinned at the wall. “Great story.”
“Do you ever sleep?”
“I don’t have that luxury.”
“What?”
“Come on.” He nodded out toward the back door.
It had to be three a.m. I looked around. Glanced to Logan’s door. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what? He’s sleeping while two of the most deadly men on the planet watch after his house. Let’s go.”
I got up, hesitantly. Too slow for his liking.
“I said let’s go, asshole.” Joe was already down the hall and out the backdoor.
I thought about Cora. Thought about her alone in her bed, crying her eyes out. Maybe she was fine now and sipping coffee and reading a book. Was she able to sleep? Edmon had been right about something he told me. When you love someone, you give up power. Cora and Logan made me vulnerable. I tried to keep them in the same area, protect both of them. Now, they were both upset, hurting, in two different locations. I couldn’t be in both places at once and it drove a spike right into the middle of my chest.
I walked outside. Caught Joe over at the shed in the backyard where I kept some gardening tools. He flicked on a light inside and the yellow haze emanated from the door. I stepped inside.
There were notes, pictures, numbers scribbled everywhere.
“This is what I do at night.” He nodded his head toward all of it.
There was an anatomical diagram of Sid with two small red circles on it. So small they almost looked like solid red dots.
“Weak points?”
He nodded. “Theoretical weak points. But that doesn’t mean shit. The guy is a lion.”
“Better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as a lamb.”
Joe grinned. “You’re goddamn right.”
I prayed we wouldn’t be struck by lightning, and at the same time I was a bit proud he caught the biblical reference while I pored over the notes about me. There was a picture of Logan, Cora, Janet, Gus—even our house. All of them had red circles around them, and notes.
“What are you doing out here? With all of this?”
“Homework, asshole. One of us has to focus.”
“You think I don’t know the stakes? That my head’s not in it?”
He stood up and shook his head. “No. I think you’re living in the present and it’s going to fuck you nice and good in the future.”
I walked over and looked around at the rest of his analysis. I couldn’t disagree with him. Day-to-day was definitely how I was living. It’s how I’d lived the past ten years.
“Don’t say it’s not true. You’re living for the next few months until the fight and that’s it.” He got up in my face and snarled. “That’s it.”
I tried to turn and walk out but he spun me back around.
“What are you going to do? You already know you’re going to lose, don’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you think will happen to all of that when you die?” He pointed at the red circles by my picture. The red marker outlining every person I cared about. The diagram that showed every weakness and vulnerability that existed in my life. It all crashed down on me at once. The brevity of the situation.
I flew out of the shed and sprinted back toward the house. The night sky tried to crush me into the ground. The whole world was caving in on me.
I needed my chair. Needed to be sitting in front of Logan’s door in case they came. When I wasn’t in the chair, guarding him, I couldn’t breathe. They could already be on their way. The way they’d sent me for the dictator in the Sudan and countless others. It could happen any second of any day.
“What are you gonna do?” Joe hollered. Then he laughed. Laughed so loud it was sinister.
I ripped open the back door.
“What are you gonna do, Landon?”