- RACHEL

 

I WAS LOOKING THROUGH the clothes in the wardrobe when he woke up. “Second day in a row you’re up before me,” he said, sitting up in bed and stretching. “And I thought I was the early bird.”

“I’ve got nothing to wear,” I said, running my hand through the hangers again. “What am I going to do?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, pushing back the covers and walking naked over to me. “Didn’t Jess bring you enough outfits to last the week?”

“On the subject of which, when did they get in this wardrobe?”

“I might have got the hotel staff to do it.”

“You didn’t get them to bring me something more respectable?” I asked, giving up and moving to the edge of the bed.

He grabbed a pair of boxer shorts and pulled them on. “What’s wrong with these?”

“My parents will be here by nine. They messaged in the middle of the night to say the flight was landing and they were getting a cab the rest of the way. I can’t meet them like this.”

“I agree. Sitting naked with them is often frowned upon in the more upmarket hotels.”

“I mean in these things. They’re too revealing.”

“But I thought you liked them.”

“I do but they’ll hate them and they’ll hate you if they know you got them for me. I need them to like you, Greg.” I didn’t add the subtext but I got the impression he worked it out. If they liked him, maybe, just maybe, they might back off about Ian and the marriage they had planned. Maybe I would be able to live my own life after all.

“Fine,” he said, grabbing his cell from the night stand. “I’ll get Jess to courier something a bit more conservative, how does that sound?”

“We’ve only got two hours before they get here. She’ll never make it in time.”

“You don’t know how good she is at this.”

He headed into the bathroom to make the call while I sat on the bed and looked out of the window at the surrounding moors. It was ridiculous. The sexiest man I ever met had just climbed out of bed naked and I was worried about what to wear. I shouldn’t even have been thinking about my parents. I should have been thinking about him and about us. He had taken my virginity last night. I was no longer the innocent child I once was.

Overnight, I had become a woman. A woman should be able to stand up for herself. Was I a woman or a child? I was scared about upsetting my parents, but I was also scared of what they were likely to try and do when they arrived. They wanted me to marry Ian. How would they take it if I told them I’d fallen for my tour guide?

"He’s broke, took your daughter’s innocence out of wedlock, he’s into kinky sex, and lives right here in England. A great catch, Mom, Dad, right? Can I have your blessing to marry him and move over here, yeah?"

He was as good as his word. The clothes arrived at eight. “How did you even manage that?” I asked as he came back into the room with them. “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Helicoptered in,” he said.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Get changed. We better see how dull we can make you look.”

I got dressed. It was a conservative skirt down to my ankles, Mary Jane shoes in black that fitted perfectly. My top half was covered with a plain white blouse and charcoal grey jacket. “How do you do it?” Greg asked as I ran a brush through my hair.

“Do what?”

“Make an outfit like that look sexy.”

“Stop it,” I snapped but I couldn’t help smiling. “You better behave while they’re here.”

“You want me to meet them then? Are we at that stage already?”

“You’re just a tour guide, remember.” I felt guilty after saying it because there was a flash of sadness in his eyes. Then it was gone and he was holding the door open. “Let’s go get some breakfast,” he said. “Before I tie you to the bed and refuse to let you leave.”

They arrived when we were half way through. My heart sank to see them walking through the door of the dining room and cross the floor towards me. They weren’t alone.

“Mom,” I said, trying to keep the smile fixed on my face. “I see you’ve brought a guest.”

“You remember Ian,” she said, pulling out the seat opposite mine. “We thought we’d bring him with us seeing as he likes England.”

“Well, not so much England as fish and chips,” he said, his smile as oily as the last time I saw it. “Apparently the working class eat it all the time over here. That and some ghastly thing called steak and kidney pie. Can you imagine it? Ha ha. How are you, Rachel?”

“Fine,” I replied through gritted teeth.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” Dad asked.

“Greg, tour guide for Writing Wanderers.” He stuck a hand out and Dad ignored it. Greg withdrew it without seeming to mind.

“Would you excuse us, Greg,” Dad said. “We’d like to talk to our daughter about her upcoming marriage.”

“Dad,” I hissed. “Are we really doing this now?”

“What? Sorting your life out for you seeing as you seem incapable of doing it for yourself? You need to stop mucking about and come back with us, Rachel. Isn’t that right, Ian?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure I’d word it as indelicately as that.”

I stood up. “I can’t believe you told me you would respect my decision and now you’re doing this. You didn’t tell me you were bringing him with you. You don’t listen to me when I talk to you and now this? Trying to blackmail me in public.”

“We’re not blackmailing you. We’re trying to reason with you,” Mom said.

“I know exactly what you’re doing. You’re hoping that by doing this in public with Ian watching, I’ll just back down and come meekly along to a wedding and a life I don’t want. Well, I’ve changed since I’ve come here and it’s thanks to Greg. He’s shown me that there is nothing wrong with standing up for what you want and telling the world about it. I do not want to marry Ian, no offence Ian, I want to continue my vacation and for you to realise that I’m an adult and I have every right to live my life in whatever way I see fit.” I paused for breath. “I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here and you’re welcome to enjoy the scenery but not with me. I’m carrying on my trip without you and without your bullshit.”

“Rachel!” Mom snapped. “Why are you swearing and shouting? We’re only trying to talk to you.”

“I’m not shouting.”

“Lower your voice.”

“Let me make this clear,” I said, leaning down towards her, trying to ignore the thumping of my heart as I spoke. “I am going.”

“You need to grow up, girl,” Dad snapped. “You can’t go swanning around forever. If we go home without you, that’s it. You’re cut off.”

“What from, your debts?”

Mom laughed too loudly. “She’s kidding,” she said to Ian before turning to me, her face whiter than ever, her lips thin. “Think carefully about this,” she hissed. “You really want to stay here with nothing to your name?”

“If the alternative is marrying a man I don’t love then yes, that’s exactly what I want. Greg, are we leaving?”

He looked like he was stifling a laugh as he nodded at me. “You’re the boss.”

“Hold on,” Mom said. “Greg, Ian, would you give us a minute?”

“What for?” I asked. “What’s the point?”

“Please, Rachel,” she said and her eyes were full of tears.

I sighed. “Fine,” Greg, would you wait out there for me? I won’t be long.”

I watched him leave and Ian followed him. I had a bizarre image of the two of them chatting out there and getting on fine and that’s when I knew I was losing it. “What is it?” I asked Mom.

“Sit down, please.”

I did as she asked, feeling anger rising up in me. “What?”

“How dare you talk to me like that?” A smile was fixed on her face and anyone looking our way wouldn’t have been able to tell what she was saying, the vitriol in her words. “We’re broke and we need to do this. Have you any idea of the shame you’ll bring on our family if you don’t marry him. We’ll be evicted from the house. We took out another mortgage for the conservatory and the swimming pool for your benefit.”

“They weren’t for me. I can’t even swim. They were for you.”

“Please,” Dad said. “Do this one little thing for us and we’ll never ask you for anything again."

“You mean just the tiny matter of marrying a man I don’t love so that you two can bleed him dry and I can be miserable for the rest of my life. That’s all? Have I missed anything?”

“When did you turn into such an ungrateful brat?” Mom asked, the smile still on her face. “I raised you, I looked after you. You owe me.”

“I owe you?”

“You think raising a child is cheap? You owe me for everything I’ve done for you.”

“I love you, Mom, but I’m not marrying Ian.”

“Yes you are.”

She reached out to grab my hand but I was on my feet before she could manage it. “I’m leaving,” I said, walking away without looking back. I worked hard to resist crying but once I was out of the room I had to duck into the ladies toilets to let the tears flow. My fingers were shaking and I felt dizzy as if what had just happened had been a moment frozen in time and now it was all rushing through me at once, all the emotions I’d held in not just then but for years were all coming racing back, vying to be at the front of my mind. It took a long time for me to stop crying and then I sat there with my head hurting, wondering what I’d just done.

I knew she meant it. She wasn’t bluffing. She’d threatened to throw me out before and I’d always backed down when she did it but I knew something she didn’t. I had changed since coming to England. Specifically, since Greg had walked into my life. I wasn’t the same person I was when I flew over here. I was stronger, better able to stand up for myself. I hadn’t even noticed it happening but when she talked to me then, for the first time I was able to fight my corner.

I was paying for it though with my tears, with the feeling I might have ruined things forever between us. And then a wave of guilt hit me. What if they were right? What if it was my responsibility to help them? To get them out of debt? Did I owe them for being raised? I needed advice and I only knew one person who would be honest with me. Greg.

He was the reason I couldn’t do it. He had made me strong and he had made me realise what love actually was. From the minute I’d met him, I’d known there was something different about him and seeing Ian again had only confirmed what I already knew. There had to be love to marry someone.

No matter the consequences for me, being cut off, being alone in the world, I couldn’t agree to their demands. I bet they hadn’t expected me to do anything but give in when they turned up. What was the best case for them, that I just said fine and went home, cutting my dream vacation short just to help them pay a few bills? Keep them looking like they belonged in that house and living that lifestyle?

I thought about Greg again. He had no money but he seemed happy enough. Maybe I could learn from him. I fixed my make up in the mirror before going to look for him. I’d had enough of my parents. It was time to live my own life and I wanted my life to include Greg. It was time to tell him that, to be braver than I’d ever been, to admit my feelings for him.