- GREG

 

HE FOLLOWED ME OUT to reception. I kept going, knowing that if I turned round there was a big risk I might break his teeth. I had just managed to keep my temper in check in the dining room but I needed to get away to calm myself down.

How could they speak to her like that? I had a sudden understanding of why she was so insecure and indecisive. It looked as if she hadn’t been allowed to make a decision for herself all her life. It was obvious from the minute they walked in who ruled the roost.

Her mother was a textbook narcissist, father just shuffling in after her and agreeing with whatever she said. It was all about her, from the way she dressed to her body language to her words. She had probably been used to controlling everything since Rachel was born, maybe longer.

Now her darling girl was standing up to her and she had no idea how to take it. Asking me to leave so she could talk to her was in no way surprising. I thought about refusing to go but this was a real test of how far Rachel had come in the few days I’d known her. Was she strong enough to stand up to her mother without me by her side for moral support? I could only wait and see.

And that potential groom. He looked oilier than a fish, born with a silver spoon in his mouth and proud of it, always able to get whatever he wanted and yet looking bored with the idea of marriage. He didn't deserve her.

Perhaps he just wanted to fuck any girl and had worked out no one would go near him for love, so he needed to trap one for good. I knew I wasn’t being entirely fair to a man I knew nothing about but having him follow me and start talking to me only confirmed what I already suspected.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked when he saw me sitting on a bench at the edge of the parking lot. “Cigarette?”

“I’m good,” I replied as he pulled out a menthol and lit up, the light smell of mint dissipating in the morning breeze.

"Of course, you're presumably more of a beer and crisps chap. Am I right?"

"You're very astute."

"I'm a good judge of character. It's a skill I've developed. One look at a person and I can tell everything about them that I need to know. They used to call me Holmes at school."

"Because you acted in porn?"

He faked a laugh. "That's very good. Almost didn't get that."

"So what can you tell about me?"

He looked me up and down for a moment, frowning slightly before nodding. "Poor."

"That's incredible."

"I'm not done. Poor but with delusions of grandeur. You honestly think you have a chance with someone like her. It would be laughable if it wasn't so offensive. You probably cut your own hair, brought up in a broken family, am I right?"

"Like I said, you're very astute."

"Some strength in those legs, no doubt had to walk to school, when you attended. Don't get me wrong, not everyone can afford a private education. I'm sure you did your best but I can tell from your demeanour you never went to university. Straight into work, am I right?"

"Astounding." If he noticed the sarcasm in my voice, he didn't seem to care.

"I admire your ability to work for a living especially in a job like this. I doubt the pay is very good but you have to pay the bills, right? Now look at me, I've been blessed with the skills to maximise my income but I work hard. If you worked all your life, you still wouldn't have half what my investments earn in a day. Is that how she should expect to live her life? In debt? I suspect your parents were in debt most of their lives too, am I close?"

"You're very close." I didn't add that he was getting very close to having his teeth knocked out.

"It's a gift, what can I say?"

"What do you want, Ian? Why are you here?”

He glanced at me before looking away. “What’s going on between you two? I might look like I was born yesterday but I assure you I’m not to be trifled with.”

“Is that a threat?”

He exhaled another plume of smoke. “I just want to know the truth. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, is it?”

“You want to know the truth?”

“Precisely. What’s going on between you and Rachel? I saw the way you were looking at each other when we came in. She never looked at me like that, no matter how much I spent on wooing her. I offered her a horse, she turned me down."

"She doesn't ride."

"That's not the point. She could learn. I would give her the world and you can give her what? Half an apartment full of mold and regret?"

"A whole apartment if we save up long enough."

"Do you love her?”

I didn’t say anything for a long time. “I guess I do,” I said at last, meeting his eyes, wanting to see how he reacted. His face paled but then the smile returned to his lips.

“Then I guess we’re done here.”

He walked away. I knew I could have knocked him out cold but what good would it have done? So much more satisfying to just watch him walk away like there was a ten foot pole jammed up his ass.

As he opened the door to go back inside, Rachel emerged. I couldn’t resist grinning when I saw she’d taken off the dull conservative clothes and was back in one of her other outfits, looking sexy as hell as she waltzed past Ian without saying a word. He glanced at her as she passed but she didn’t look back, marching straight over to me and kissing my cheek. “Are we going?”

“The car is ready if you are.”

“Then off we go.”

We both climbed in and headed out of the parking lot. I waited as long as I could to ask but before we were ten miles down the road, I had to know. “Come on,” I said, “that’s long enough.”

“For what?”

“For you to tell me why you look so happy and for me to find out exactly what happened in there.”

“They’re going home and I’m cut off.”

“So why do you look so happy?”

“Because I’d rather be cut off than have to marry someone I don’t love. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I guess so.”

“So we’re not going to talk about them anymore. I’m going to enjoy the rest of my vacation and when it’s over I’m going to work out what the hell I’m going to do next. Hopefully it won’t involve living on the streets.” She sighed, winding down the window to let the air into the car.

“Maybe you could stay over here?”

“What? In England? I don’t know, I never thought about it. What about visas?”

“I’m sure I can help with that. With a sponsor it’d be easy.” I signalled left and swung the car off the main road.

“I’m not sure that you can charm the immigration people in the same way you charm castle owners.”

“You should see what I got you today with my charm.”

“Which is?”

“Wait and see.”

“You can’t do that.” She punched me on the arm. “Where are we going?”

“Do you remember talking about Summer of Love on the way to Jamaica Inn?”

“Yes, why?”

“Remember the hut where Florence went to paint?”

She twisted in her seat to look at me. “I remember telling you if I had a hut like that, I wouldn’t need money or food. I’d be too happy to do anything but write in a place like that.”

“I might have hired it for the day.”

“You might have hired it?”

“For us to spend the rest of the day there.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope. This way lies the hut of your dreams.”

It was an old fisherman’s shack, thatched roof with a couple of sections covered in corrugated iron where the thatch had worn away. In front was a tiny garden, straggly plants struggling in the salt air. A few yards away was the steep rock cliff edge that led down to the beach where the azure blue waves were crashing and roaring as the tide came in.

We stood there together, having made the short walk from the lane where I’d left the car. Rachel looked more excited than I’d ever seen her and her mood was completely different to when she’d had to deal with her parents.

“What’s inside?” she asked, walking across the track to the door, glancing through the grimy windows as she went.

“Have a look. It’s unlocked.”

She pulled the door open and gasped. “You did this?”

I’d arranged for a blanket, a picnic, and a bed to be brought down. The people I hired were paid enough not to ask my reasons or to complain how unreasonable a timeline I’d given them. They just got it done. I closed the door on the wind and lit the candles on the ancient mantelpiece. “What do you think of the place?”

“I think it’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen in my life. All I need to do is clean these windows and I could spend the rest of the day staring at the sea.”

“You could do that or you could come and drink champagne with me.”

“How about I do both?”

She took the glass I offered, smiling to herself as she continued to stare at the ocean. I stood next to her, happier than I’d been in a long time. I wanted her so badly but I felt conflicted.

I’d told Ian I loved her but that was because he’d put me on the spot. What was it Mark had said to me at the party? That I’d fall in love and settle down some day. And what had I said in response? I couldn’t remember the exact words but I knew the gist. It would never happen. I would get bored.

That was what worried me the most about Rachel. What if I got bored of her? What if falling in love was the first step towards that? Having never done it before, it wasn’t a feeling I understood. Me, so sure of everything in life, all of sudden I was having doubts. Was it love? Or was it just the excitement of what was happening? How new and different it all felt? That was the only way I could explain what I said to Rachel ten minutes after we’d finished making love. That I was still trying to decide.

I had put the question aside when she finished her champagne and turned to me. She didn’t say anything, she just closed her eyes, putting her arms around me. I couldn’t resist the feel of her body and before I knew it, I was undressing her, laying her gently on the blanket. I took my time undressing myself, enjoying her staring eyes on each body part as it was revealed.

Once I was done, I let instinct take over, kissing every inch of her, massaging her feet, her ankles, working my way up her thighs, teasing around her pussy and then moving over her, crushing her under me, sinking gently into her in time to the crashing waves outside and then our hips remained together, our bodies connected in a way that could never be equalled by anything other than this.

When she came, it tipped me over the edge and I was coming in her a second later. The moment it happened, the doubt came back. This was just like it used to be. I felt myself sagging. Was she just like the rest? Was I getting bored?

“What are you thinking?” she asked, noticing my furrowed brow as I sat on the blanket and looked out of the window.

“I was wondering about things, that’s all. What’s your plan?”

“About what?” she asked, looking bewildered. I had no doubt she was. A moment ago we’d been entwined as if there was nothing that could keep us apart. Then all of a sudden I was distant and cold and I couldn’t even tell her why. If I told her I was scared of getting bored of her I knew how she’d react, she’d be angry and upset and she’d be right to be. Where had this self doubt come from? I’d never known it before.

“I was thinking of staying with you,” she said quietly as if she didn’t know how I’d react. “If you want me.” I paused for too long before answering and she leapt on that pause. “Or am I wrong?”

“No, just give me a second.”

“Why?” she asked, grabbing her clothes. “I think you’ve already answered my question.”

“No, wait, I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to. Don’t worry, I get it. It was a vacation fling and you didn’t plan for it to last after my heading home. Now you’re stuck with me for good and the idea isn’t quite as appealing. I get it. Wonderful. I guess maybe I’ll find somewhere else to go.”

“Don’t talk like that, Rachel. You haven’t let me explain.”

“What’s to explain. You’re just trying to work out how to tell me without hurting my feelings and now you don’t need to because I’m saving you the trouble.”

“Will you just be quiet for one second and listen?”

She was already dressed, sorting her shoes and making for the door. I had to grab her to stop her leaving. “Just listen to me will you?”

“Let go of me.”

I relaxed my grip on her arm and she was out the door at once. I leapt for her, grabbing her again and this time not letting go. “You’re going to listen to me whether you like it or not.”

She scowled at me but at least she stopped trying to run. “I need to tell you the truth about me before you make a decision as big as staying here for me. I don’t want there to be lies between us.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you remember the party at the parsonage?”

“How could I forget? That guy grabbing me just like you’re doing.” A hint of realisation crossed her features and I nodded. “That was you?”

I let go of her arm. “That was me before I got to know you.”

“You asked me if I was a virgin, you told me to go upstairs with you and let you fuck me. Is that what happens at these parties? You do that a lot do you? Hang on, you’re my tour guide. How did that happen?”

“I’m not really your tour guide. I took his place.”

“Why? Because I said no to you so you thought you’d chase after me anyway?”

“No, it wasn’t like that. Look, I know how it looks but-”

“Any other lies you want to put straight? No, then I’m done.”

She walked away. I thought about going after her but then realised there was no point. She turned for a moment, looking back at me in the doorway. “I heard what you said, that love is the ultimate turn off. Don't worry, I won't pester you any longer.”

Then she was gone. Where was she going to go? She had no idea where she was. The track only went back to the road and the car and there was nowhere in about twenty miles to walk to. She’d either come back of her own accord when she’d calmed down or she’d keep walking in which case I’d soon catch up to her. I returned to the blanket and picked up the champagne, pouring myself another glass, trying to calm myself down.

Any other lies? That’s what she’d asked me. There was only one. I hadn’t just realised I’d fallen for her and wanted her to stay. I had felt that way since the moment I saw her. I might have been able to convince myself at the time that I only wanted to fuck her but the truth was quite different.

She was the one and I’d known it from the second I set eyes on her at the party. From that moment things had been different. That was why I’d protested so vehemently to Mark. I was trying to convince myself as much as him. I hated to admit it but he’d been right.

I got dressed before sitting with the bottle and drinking from it. I’d give her five minutes to come back and then I’d go after her. If she came back, we could continue as before. I’d apologise and tell her what I wanted to tell her.

I was scared to tell her how quickly my feelings had grown because I thought I might frighten her away. I hadn’t wanted to fuck her straight away for the same reason. The deeper truth was I wasn’t the same person who just wanted to find a virgin to fuck.

I was in love with her. When she came back, I’d tell her. Yes, it was sudden but love is it's own master. Even I couldn't dominate it. It was the only thing I could submit to, the only thing I could not control.

I didn’t know how I knew but something told me she would be back and we could put this little argument behind us. Our first one. Come about because I experienced self doubt for the first time and she couldn’t accept that I would love her.

She didn’t realise how beautiful she was, how perfect for me, how she made me feel. The only thing that made me angry was her thinking I saw this as a vacation fling. Could she not see how I really felt?

Five minutes passed by and the door blew open. I looked up about to speak but my shoulders sagged as I saw it was just a gust of wind blowing the door on its hinges. I got to my feet and blew out the candles. If she wasn’t coming back that meant she was walking away and I needed to stop her. If I wasn’t careful, she’d walk right out of my life and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

I closed the door behind me and set off down the track after her. She wasn’t on the track. She wasn’t by the car. How far could she have gotten down the road? I walked back the other way, looking along the cliff edge in both directions just in case she’d tried to make her way along the seafront. No sign of her.

She had to have started walking along the road. I returned to the car and climbed into it. Just as I did so, my phone made a noise in my pocket. There was a message. It was from her. I read it and revved the engine, gripping the steering wheel tightly as I set off. It was time to save my love.