SUMMER

I’m still thinking about it in the morning when I wake up and I’m alone in the furs, though. Just the thought makes me cranky. I had dreams all night about Warrek going to the ship, and a hot band of Playboy Bunnies bounded out, and they all resonated to my man.

Grr.

My Warrek hasn’t been gone long, though. There’s a large bowl of melted, warm-ish water by the coals of the fire, and I use it to splash myself clean, and then dress in fresh leathers. I can smell something cooking in the distance, and it makes my mouth water. I’m a little shy about going out in public now that everyone “knows” we’re together, but I’m going to have to get it over with at some point.

I put on my boots, wrap a fur around my shoulders, and then peek out into the village. No Warrek. No hunters at all, actually. I see a few people camped out in front of their huts for their daily chores, but Kashrem’s the tanner, and that doesn’t count. Tiffany’s seated near him with her own tanning frame, and her son Lukti even has his own pint-sized hide stretched on a small frame so he can work alongside his mommy. I swear, that’s the cutest. Other than their small cluster, I see the elders stirring something in a pot, and another works on carving off on his own. No hunters. They’re either out for the day…

Or all meeting with the chief.

The thought is a little distressing. I think about my dream with the Playboy Bunnies again and wrinkle my nose, frustrated. I don’t want Warrek wandering around a bunch of single women. And man, if that doesn’t sound like a cranky housewife thought, I don’t know what does. But not with his cootie going rogue and refusing to pick a mate. He needs to stay away from them until the initial cootie frenzy gets taken care of.

When we first got here, Josie chattered on and on about how so many people resonated right away that it was practically a flurry of matings and that it must have had something to do with the new khuis searching for a mate immediately. At the time, it made me feel a little crappy, because when I got here, I didn’t resonate to anyone. Out of all of us, only Elly did, and I felt like my cootie didn’t think I was special enough to zoom in on someone.

Of course, now that I’ve met Warrek, I’m glad that my cootie has kept its mouth shut. But what if Warrek goes with the rescue party and resonates to someone else? I’ll die inside.

Not because I’ve been left out or because I’m not special, but because I’ll lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

With those depressing thoughts in my head, I follow the delicious breakfast smells to the longhouse.

Sure enough, there’s a crowd of women there, all hovering by the fire and talking in low voices. Stacy’s got her weird-looking skillet in hand and is busy scraping something out of her pan when she glances up at me. “Oh, hi Summer,” she calls out in a singsong voice.

All faces turn toward me.

Oh jeez. I can feel my face turning red, and an awkward smile tightens on my mouth. “Hey guys. Am I in time for breakfast? It smells great. Not that it doesn’t always smell great. And if I’m too late, that’s all right. I can always make my own.” My speedy babble starts, and I want to smack myself in frustration, but I just keep yapping instead. “I totally don’t mind. I was a latchkey kid and so I always had to make my own snacks growing up, but it was easier with a pantry, you know? Here you have to prep all your food yourself, and while I’m sure it’s better for you because it’s all organic, sometimes I wish for a Pop-Tart. You know, I visited a Pop-Tart factory once when I was a kid. Well, it wasn’t really a factory as much as—”

Josie steps forward, parting from the cluster of women. She moves to my side and puts her arms around me, silently hugging me.

“Um, what’s that for?” I ask, bewildered.

“For telling the men about the G-spot,” she says with a happy sigh.

A chorus of giggles go up from the crowd of women. One of them is a sa-khui woman—Asha, I think—and she’s got her little girl seated in her lap, gnawing on a not-potato cake. She just rolls her eyes, an amused smile on her face.

“Oh, I didn’t say anything about that,” I tell them, a little horrified that something so private got out. “I would never—”

“But you told Warrek about it, and he mentioned it to Harrec,” Kate says, that dreamy look from the last few days still on her face. “And Harrec told everyone. And I do mean everyone.”

“God bless you,” Josie says, hugging me again. “I mean, that shit was good before, but now…”

“Now things got turned to eleven,” Nora says, and puts her hands on her cheeks. “Am I still blushing? I feel like I’m blushing.”

“I ran into Kira this morning, and she giggled like a schoolgirl,” Maddie adds. “Funniest thing ever.”

I try to picture serious Kira giggling. “Um, really, I’m not sure you should be thanking me—”

“It never occurred to me to give Raahosh an anatomy lesson,” Liz continues, snatching the next cake from Stacy’s skillet before Stacy can slap her fingers away. She takes a bite out of it, then says, “I mean, I normally just indicate I wanna have sex and let him go to town. One-way trip to orgasm-ville. Between the spur and the ridges, I thought it couldn’t get better.”

“Eleven,” Nora says primly. “Definitely an eleven.”

Claire and Ariana just giggle wildly.

“Sounds like everyone had a good night,” I begin.

“Not as good as you,” Josie says in a sly voice. “You guys should have picked a hut farther out in the village.”

“How far can they go?” Lila asks, rubbing her big, pregnant belly absently.

“The coast, I’m thinking,” Maddie says dryly. “Maybe then we won’t hear what they’re up to.”

I keep smiling, even though this is just as bad as I thought it would be. “Okay, well, this is a great conversation and I think I’m going to go die of embarrassment now.”

“Oh, stop,” Josie says, putting an arm around my waist. “You think you’re the only one that’s been a bit noisy during sex? Feel sorry for Farli and Asha for having a hut next to Maddie and Hassen.”

Maddie just snorts. “Like I care. Newsflash, I’m attracted to my mate.”

“Come sit,” Josie says, steering me toward the fire. “We’re not trying to freak you out. It’s just been…an eye-opening experience for some of us.”

Ariana giggles again.

“Here, have a pancake,” Stacy tells me, pouring a new batch of goop onto her skillet. “Well, it’s kind of a pancake. It’s a not-potato—or notato as I’m calling them lately—ground into a powder and mixed with some of the ground-up hraku seeds. It’s not perfect, but it’s sweet and hits that pancake urge if you ever have one, like me.” She grins over at Asha and her little daughter. “Shema likes them.”

“Shema likes everything,” Asha says, smoothing her kit’s hair back from her tiny horns. “Yesterday I caught her gnawing on one of Hemalo’s boots. She had eaten the laces before I stopped her.”

“Sounds like my girls,” Nora says wistfully. “They chewed the hell out of everything when they hit their terrible twos. I’m looking forward to that again.” She pats her flat belly and beams. “Only a year and some change to go.”

“And are you ready to be a mom?” Lila asks Kate.

Kate goes pale, her face matching her hair for a moment. “I’m not sure,” she admits. “It’s not like I get a choice, of course, but I haven’t pictured myself as a mom before.”

“I didn’t either. You get used to it.” Ariana offers her a smile.

“I wish I had a few more years to get used to the idea,” Kate says. “Sometimes I’m excited, and sometimes I wish I was like Summer. She’s lucky her khui’s staying quiet for now.”

Yeah, lucky. Lucky that my man is going to go to a ship full of nubile Earth women just raring to put their hands on a sexy sa-khui man. I’m so lucky that I’m going to lose my guy to a stranger.

At the thought, I burst into tears.

The cheerful banter immediately stops. The longhouse goes quiet, the only sound the sizzle of the pancake in Stacy’s skillet.

“Here,” Asha says, handing me a leather cloth. “Wipe your face and tell us what is the matter.”

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Kate speaks up, aghast. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I sniffle, wiping my face with the cloth. “Well, no, it’s really not okay or I wouldn’t be crying. I’m just emotional, I guess.”

“Because of Warrek?” Asha guesses. Stacy holds out a plate with the pancake on it, and when I hesitate, Asha clucks, gesturing. “Eat. Eat and tell us what the problem is. We are all your friends here.”

I guess they are, even if Asha’s mothering me like her little daughter. Still, it’s nice to not feel so alone. And the chagrined expression on poor Kate’s face tells me she didn’t realize what she said. I take a bite of the steaming hot pancake. There’s no syrup, but it’s sweet throughout and does taste more like a pancake than a cookie. “It’s good. Thanks, Stacy.”

“I’ll make you another,” she says soothingly, turning back to the fire. “You just take your time and eat.”

I do eat, though it’s not easy with a bunch of women giving me worried glances. I feel like a dork for crying, but every time I think of the situation and picture my sweet, quiet Warrek resonating to some new chick, I just get a huge knot in my throat.

“I think I’ll see how the twins are doing with Mr. Fluffypuff,” Nora says, getting to her feet. She gives my shoulder a squeeze as she walks past.

“I’ll come,” Kate adds, and mouths an “I’m sorry” to me as she follows behind.

I nod, shoving pancake in my mouth. I’m not mad at her. I just hate the situation. The others are sitting around, watching me, and when my pancake is gone, Asha gives me an expectant look. Right. I’m supposed to tell them what’s bothering me. “I just…we just found each other, you know? And now he’s going to leave with Vektal and all the other hunters, and there’s a bunch of fresh women in the pods, and what if he resonates to one of them? I love him so much, but what if we’re not meant to be together? What if his cootie takes one look at some hot new thing and it decides that she’s the one for him?”

“Then the khui decides,” Asha declares. “That is how it works.”

“I don’t think that’s going to make her feel better,” Lila murmurs.

“Does she want to feel better, or does she want the truth? You cannot deny resonance.” Asha shrugs.

Asha’s right, but it doesn’t fix the knot in my throat. I wish I knew what to do. Something. Anything. I feel helpless in the face of this looming disaster.

“You cannot stop resonance,” Asha continues, noticing my silence. “But that does not mean you do not have choices.”

I glance over at her. “Oh?”

She nods. “For many seasons, I was paralyzed by my own dark thoughts. I did nothing to go after my happiness. It took much to change my thinking. Then I realized the only person standing in the way of what I wanted was me.” She smooths Shema’s hair again, a smile curving her mouth. “You can choose to sit back and let things happen, or you can do something about it.”

Do something about it? But she just said that you can’t stop resonance. I frown in her direction. If he goes, I can’t exactly put a shield around his cootie and say, “Not now, big guy.” And even if I go with him, that doesn’t change that he might resonate to someone else.

But if he doesn’t go…

I sit upright. I can’t stop things if his cootie is going to resonate to someone else at some point. But if he doesn’t go, maybe I can stop him from being there when those initially boy-crazy cooties go off like rockets. If he’s safely tucked in my bed, maybe by the time they get to the tribe, they’ll be all done and there will be nothing to worry about.

“You don’t know that they’re even going to wake them up,” someone says.

I’m not listening any longer, though. I get to my feet, inspired. “I think you’re right, Asha. I think I’m going to do something about it.”

But first, I need to talk to the chief.