FOR SEVENTY-TWO HOURS, SHE WENT through a merciless detox. The paranoia had set in; it was brutal to watch her suffering, her body quivering. She had her rough moments, where she didn’t want to get out of bed—screaming, crying, and pleading for her next fix. She flipped from being a sweet, yet reserved girl, to a paranoid drug fiend.

Through it all, I tried to be there for her, give her anything she needed, talk her down from the highs, up from the lows. Her behavior didn’t upset or concern me. I knew she would get through this. She’d survived worse.

The heroin had finally left her body, like a ghost of her nightmare.

Kyle, Vic, Dave, and I all did our best to keep Gabriel occupied and away from Annie. During her lucid phases, she explained Gabriel’s grandmother and aunts watched him while she worked. So he was used to being away from her. They would have to rebuild their entire relationship once Annie was healthy.

Kyle, Vic, and I were crammed in the living area, watching television while Gabriel played with a cheap train set Dave had bought him. It didn’t even bother my brothers that they had given up their entire vacation leave to help this girl. I was thankful for them, for my training, and for my ability to have the tactical skills to save Annie.

“Vroom, vroom.” Gabriel pushed his little train around the tracks. “Pat, do it!”

I knelt on the floor. I knew the deal—Gabriel wanted me to race his train around the track with another train, but let him win.

The little boy let out a laugh. I was happy to see him smile, not sure of what kind of life he’d known back in the Caribbean. I had to admit, at first, I saw him as a burden. A living reminder of Annie’s ordeal. But now I saw him as this cute little boy, the light of Annie’s life.

I didn’t want to get attached to him or him to get attached to me. I couldn’t understand the men who dated my mom, played trains with me when I was his age, made me look up to them, and then abandoned us. I never knew where they went, and used to ask my mom when they would be coming back.

Annie awoke and walked into the living area. She played with Gabriel for a bit, then got him ready for bed, and put him to sleep in her room. Vic handed her water and her meds, and she pushed back her crazy hair and gave me that crooked smile I had first noticed in the lineup that day.

“How are you feeling?” She already look better; her skin brighter, her eyes wider.

She nodded her head. “Good. Better. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Vic and Kyle headed up to the deck. I wanted to go and hang out with them. “We’re going to be home in two days. Are you excited?”

“No. Scared. Anxious. I don’t know how my parents will react to Gabriel.”

“They’ll love him. He’s a great boy.”

“You don’t understand. My parents are good people, but they aren’t that warm. My dad wants everything to be perfect, you know? A bastard child whose dad was a sex trafficker doesn’t really fit into that picture.”

I didn’t know what to say to reassure her. I was sure she was wrong, though. Who wouldn’t love that boy? It wasn’t his fault his father was a jackass. My father was a complete loser, also. And my mom would love any child I brought home, no matter what the circumstances were.

Annie’s eyes narrowed at me. “Why did you do this, Pat?”

“Do what?”

“Help me detox. I mean, Vic is giving me meds, but why do you hold me at night, rock me to sleep?”

I didn’t even know why myself. “You’ve been through enough. Gabriel needs his mom to be strong. You’re all he has—I killed his dad, who, granted, was a piece of shit. It’s the right thing to do.”

“So that’s it? You’re going to take me to my parents’ house, and I’ll never see you again?” Her voice trailed off.

“Yup. That’s the plan. I leave for training a week after you get back.” Truth was, I was stationed in Coronado, so when I came off deployment, I could technically see her again. Her family lived nearby in Encinitas. But that wouldn’t be a good idea. I trained sometimes eighteen hours a day and spent my time off at SEAL watering holes, like Danny’s Palm Bar & Grill. She wouldn’t find me hanging out at the country club with her friends that was for damn sure.

“What’s your deal? Why don’t you have a girlfriend or a wife? You’re a SEAL. All my sorority sisters would always go SEAL hunting in Coronado and drop their panties in seconds if there were any sightings. You’re gorgeous, sexy, selfless…any girl would be lucky to have you.”

Tell that to my ex. “Not really. I had a girl and she cheated on me. I’m a great SEAL, but I’m a lousy boyfriend. I’m never around, I can’t provide for anyone emotionally. I’m just not interested in a relationship. Not until I retire. I can’t be responsible for anyone else when I’m thousands of miles away. And my job is dangerous. I won’t get married while I’m in because if anything happened to me, I wouldn’t want to leave a kid without a dad, like mine did to me.”

She winced. Fuck, how could I’ve said that?

After an uncomfortable pause, she started again with her questions. “He was a SEAL, too?”

“No. He was a deadbeat who couldn’t take any responsibility for his actions.”

She put her hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. But I pushed it off. “I need to get some fresh air. I’ll be on the deck if you need anything.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Okay. Good night.” She went back into her cabin, lay in the bed and pulled the covers over her head.

I needed a break from her, from this intensity. I wanted everything to be normal, my normal, before I’d ever set foot in that brothel.

Safe on the deck with no child or woman, I sat on the deck.

Vic handed me a beer. “You good?”

“Yup.” I took a sip and sat down. I didn’t even know how to process all the emotions I was going through. It had been so long since I’d had to think about a woman’s fucking feelings.

Kyle grabbed his own beer and sat next to me. “So, she seems better. Have you tapped that yet?”

Vic just shook his head. “What this fucker means is you aren’t getting too close, are you?”

“Fuck that, Vic. I just want to know if he’s gotten laid. They’ve been alone plenty while we’ve been babysitting and Annie’s clearly in love with him. We’re trapped out in the middle of the ocean, with only one girl and three of us, four if you count Dave. If I’m not getting any, at least he should be. I mean, you’re sleeping in the same room with her every night. Those walls are thin, but damned if I don’t hear any headboards banging.”

“You’re both fucking idiots. She just detoxed off heroin. She’s a recovering sex slave. What kind of sick fuck would sleep with her right now knowing what she’s been through? I’m not in love and I’m not going to fuck her. Not now, not ever. Plus, I’d never do that to her little boy. I fucking killed his father. I’m not going to marry his mother. This isn’t Shakespeare. That boy’s going to be fucked up enough, he doesn’t need me popping in and out of his life. She’s not in love with me; she’s just attached to me because I saved her. She’ll forget all about me once she’s acclimated back to her life. She’s got someone waiting anyway. Probably. He says he is.”

Kyle laughed. “That chump girly-man surfer? Please. He can’t compete with you. You’re a motherfucking SEAL, asshole.”

Vic motioned his hand toward me as if he was my fucking therapist. “So, you’re trying to tell me you have no feelings for her? At all?”

“That’s what I’m saying. I don’t know her, really. I mean, half the time she’s out of her mind crazy, detoxing. The other half she’s all moody and withdrawn. She’s hot, for sure, but I don’t have a clue who she is. I don’t even think she knows who she is.”

“So you haven’t slept with her?” Kyle asked.

“Are you deaf? What the fuck did I just say? I mean, I fucking met her at a brothel and paid her to blow me. I seriously doubt she’s interested in any man after what she’s been through.”

Vic put his arm around me. “You’re a good man, Walsh. When you get back to San Diego after our next training, you guys can meet up again and see if you have any common ground.”

“Not going to happen. I don’t want to remind her of this. I was one of her clients. She and Gabriel need someone stable. And that sure as hell isn’t me.”

“But you deserve to be happy. Not all girls are going to cheat on you like Marissa did.”

“Whatever, man. Your wife cheated on you, too. I know hardly anyone in the Teams with a good marriage. The only guys who make it work are married to their high school sweethearts. Mine cheated on me, so game over. And it’s not just about that. Annie is so messed up. She’s going to need a man who can be with her, take care of her, and protect her. I can never be that man.”

Kyle pounded his beer and looked down toward the guest quarters. “That’s the thing. You rescued her. You’ve been taking care of her. You’re already that man, whether you like it or not.”

Shit. I came up here to relax. Now I wanted to jump overboard. Fucking idiots.

The three of us had spent so many hours together in silence, watching targets, waiting for action. They knew me better than I knew myself. I couldn’t deny the connection I had with Annie, the sense we were meant to find each other. I wasn’t talking about some crappy, romantic movie insta-love, just this intense feeling we were destined to be in each other’s lives. I saved her and her son. That was enough for me.

The gentle waves rocked beneath me. I lay down under the stars and drifted to sleep.