This dinner wasn't going the way he had planned. He couldn't say that it was bad, just unexpected. Lenni kissed him. What did the kiss mean?

Was she grateful that he'd taken her on a vacation? He knew that she hadn't gone on many. She had jumped out of the car so quickly he hadn't gotten the chance to ask her. By the time he made it to the front door of the restaurant, it seemed silly to ask. If it was just a thank you kiss, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

A simple kiss. That was all it was. A simple kiss that was making him tie himself in knots. His emotions were getting the best of him like everything that had to do with her. His bear didn't know what to make of the beautiful human. She was his employee, but she could be so much more. Exactly how much though, he didn't know. But that didn't stop his bear from seeking her out. Trying to be close to her. Getting excited whenever she was near.

"My mother is dead too," she said casually over the salad course.

"How did you know my mother was dead?" was the first thing he could think to say back.

She raised an eyebrow. "I can read. I, of course, Googled you before I took the job. That was one of the first things on your Wikipedia page. I'm sorry for your loss."

He nodded. "I know about your mother, too. I did my own version of Googling and I'm also sorry for your loss."

She laughed. "I have to assume you did some kind of background check on me before you let me work in your home. Strange that would turn up. But we do have that in common. Strange that we haven't talked about it before. Though, I guess it was different for both of us."

"Not really. You were also young if I remember right."

She considered. "I guess you're right, but I was a bit younger than you."

"Is that a strange thing?" He held up two hands like a scale. "On the one hand, our mothers are dead, and that is very sad. But if you're anything like me, you didn't really get a chance to know her. You're more connected to the memory 'mother' than you are to her as a living breathing person."

Her lips turned up at the corners, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "That's very true. I've never had anyone to talk about this with in real life, but that's exactly how I feel. I love my mother dearly, but I don't know her as a woman. I think that makes me sadder than anything else. We never got to really know each other."

The waiter came to change their salad plates for their entrees but Beckett barely noticed. The room consisted of only one person for him.

"I feel the same way," he said. "That's why I keep the bricks near me. They help me remember her. I also try to get my hands on any of her writing I can find. Scraps of paper, grocery lists. Whatever, I have a box of it all sitting in my safe."

Lenni's eyes widened, her fork halfway to her mouth. "Me too. My mother kept a journal only for a few months before she died. I have them stored in a memory box in my room."

"You're lucky." He whistled. "I'd kill for journals so I could know what she was thinking. I have to settle for scraps I guess. How does your father take it?"

Flashes of his own father crying in a dark room flashed around the edges of his mind.

"Hard, but he didn't struggle as much as you would think. He has very strong faith and I think it helped him through it. What about yours?"

"He would sneak into my room and cry quietly. He thought I was asleep but most of the time I heard him."

"Did you ever say anything?"

"I was too scared. Seeing a grown man cry was terrifying at that age. I was also scared he was going to go away too. That's probably why I'm so close to Potter. I never thought she would ever leave me. Huh, I don't think I've ever said that out loud before."

"I'm honored." She reached across the table and stroked his hand. It felt like a shock straight to the heart of his bear. 

"You said your father had strong faith, but you didn't say if you did. I have to assume you do." He brought a forkful of food to his mouth. "You use a shifter dating app after all."

"How does that mean anything?" She laughed. "Wait, don't tell me. I have to believe in true love. If I believe in true mates, than I have to believe in fate somehow right?"

"Exactly." He hadn't meant to turn the conversation to mates. The word got his bear even more riled up.

"Well, I do. I believe in fate and true love and all of that. And I know that you don't." She leaned forward, her eyes meeting his in the dim light. "Potter's told me all about how you won't use the app."

"I don't use the app because I don't think it works. I do, however, have some faith in love at first sight. It worked for my parents after all."

"They knew right away?"

He smiled, thinking of the pictures of them on their wedding day. "They did. You aren't going to find something so special using an algorithm. I hope to one day have that kind of love in my own life. That's why it was such a shock when my father married my stepmother."

"I can see why though. She's very beautiful. A lioness right? I see the pictures of the two of them in magazines all the time. They're so glamorous and regal. Like a real-life king and queen from a fairy tale."

He snorted. "More like the wicked witch and a king."

"That can't be true. Your stepmother seems like a wonderful woman. She pulled herself up from poverty to get the job she had at your estate and then worked tirelessly. I really don't think she seems like the typical trophy wife."

"Did you know she was married before? Did you know she was my nanny for years? All the while plotting to get in my father's pants? Did you know she pretended to..." Beckett stopped. He was gripping his knife too tight; blood pounded in his ears. "She's not what you think. She's just good at pretending."

"I can see how it could be confusing for you," Lenni said carefully. "I didn't know she had been married before, but I guess that means she had mate before your father too. How can you have more than one mate? It's supposed to be a bond for life. That doesn't look great if I'm seeing it from your perspective."

He nodded curtly. "If my mother was his mate, I don't know how he can get with my stepmother."

"Companions? Maybe they're making the best of a bad situation."

"She is making the best of that situation. He is a moron."

"But what about your little brother?" She prodded. "I thought you were close?"

"I love my brother. I am eternally grateful to my stepmother for bringing him into the world. But I can't get behind their union. I don't hate her, but I don't love her."

"Why would you? You have Potter." Her lips quirked into a small smile.

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "All right, you caught me. I do love her. I guess you know me better than I expected."

"A blind man could see how much you care for her. And Patrick too. It's endearing really."

"I don't know if anyone's ever called me endearing before."

She leaned back. "Aggressive. Alpha. Intelligent. Those things are very obvious about you, but you have a softer side too."

He had to break their eye contact. "Maybe you're seeing the beast that lies beneath."

"You're not a beast. You're more man than beast. But I guess I could be seeing your animal."

"What makes you say that?"

"You try to be nice. I mean, you hide it, but you still try to be nice. You sent Patrick and Potter on a ski vacation at the last minute just because. Most people wouldn't do that for your servants. Plus, your animal is supposed to be like the truest form of yourself. Like your soul made real or something."

"Sending them on vacation wasn't purely altruistic. That was for my own benefit. I need to keep in their good graces. I ask a lot of them so I have to give as much in return."

She shook her head and locked eyes with him again. "You can't hide from me. You want to seem like you're some jerk, but you aren't. You're a nice guy, Beckett Hansen. Underneath it all, you're good."

It was unnerving the way she stared at him. As if she saw straight through his gruff exterior into the very heart of his soul. He really had gotten himself in trouble when he had hired her.

"I like you," he said. "I like having you around. I think maybe I even..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't say it.

"I like you too," she said. "I'm glad I took the job."

"I hope you stick around long after your contract ends."

She nodded. "I hope so too."

He couldn't say it yet, but his bear wasn't going to let him forget this feeling. It wasn't going to let him hide for much longer.

Mate. He was looking at his mate and soon enough he was going to have to let her know. He was going to have to put it all on the line and find out exactly how much Miss Belle liked him.