Rachel
Things between Caine and me changed last night. The struggle that had been ever-present in his demeanor toward me seemed to have ended. The dawn of a new day brought a lighter—even happy—version of Caine.
After kicking him out of the shower so parts other than my breasts and between my legs could get cleaned, I took a few minutes to reflect on everything that had transpired. The pulsating stream of water massaged my neck as I closed my eyes.
Caine had opened up to me. He carried around a lot of guilt and weight on his shoulders, much of it seemingly unearned. Yet I hadn’t shared much of my past with him. I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to talk about some of it.
After I dragged myself from the shower, I rummaged in Caine’s closet to find a T-shirt. His walk-in was bigger than my kitchen. Grabbing an old, worn Brooklyn College shirt, I pulled it on and ran my fingers through my wet hair.
I found Caine sitting at the dining room table with a pile of papers and his laptop open. He was wearing those glasses I loved so much on him and looked up to watch me walk down the hall.
“What?”
“My T-shirt. It looks better on you.”
When I reached the table, he immediately slipped a hand underneath it and grabbed my ass.
I wagged my finger at him. “Uh-uh-uh, Professor. Looks like you have work to do.”
“My TA should be grading these papers.”
“You didn’t ask. I would have.”
He pulled me down onto his lap and buried his face in my hair. “Why don’t you grade them now? I’ll finger you while you read through the essay on the art of rhythm.”
“You’re so crass.”
He looked up at me. “What’s crass? Fingering you? You like my fingers inside of you. And my tongue. And my cock. I wish I had more parts to put in there. I’d never come out.”
I shoved at his chest and laughed. “I’m starving. You need to feed me.”
“What? That’s what I was trying to do. Warm you up to feed you.”
“How about you make us something to eat, and I’ll finish grading?”
“Deal. I fucking hate grading papers.”
I finished marking the tests while Caine whipped us up some breakfast. Pancakes with a side of sausage.
“This is really good. But it’s the same thing you made at my house.” I pointed my fork at him. “Do you only know how to cook pancakes?”
“No, wiseass. I know how to cook a lot of different things. I just don’t do it often because it’s easier to grab something on the way home.”
“I’m not that great with meals, but I can make a hell of a cake and pastry.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Rose, my aunt who raised us, was a pastry chef. She liked to try to bond with me and my sister by baking together all the time when we first moved in.”
Caine seemed contemplative. “Did your aunt and uncle have kids of their own?”
“No. Rose couldn’t have kids. They were actually foster parents for a long time. After they adopted my sister and me, they stopped taking in fosters. They had their hands full enough with me and Riley.”
“You’ve mentioned that you had some wild years. I would’ve liked to see that.”
“No, you wouldn’t. We put poor Rose through hell. Teenage girls are bad enough without an excuse to raise hell. I was no angel, but my sister was downright awful.”
Finishing my breakfast gave me the perfect excuse to get up and try to change the subject. I wasn’t a good liar, and it was only a matter of time before Caine would stumble onto a question I wasn’t ready to answer. I took our plates to the sink and decided to wash them by hand rather than load the dishwasher.
Caine came up behind me and kissed my shoulder. “Do you have to work tomorrow night?
“No. I work evening tonight and day tomorrow.”
“I want to take you somewhere tomorrow night.”
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
I smiled. “Okay.”
“Get dressed up.”
Finishing the last dish, I turned off the water and turned to face him. “How dressed up?”
“As much as you want to be.”
I couldn’t remember the last time anything had felt so right. Caine read my goofy smile. “What?”
“This feels…right.”
His eyes searched mine. “It does. As much as I fought it, and it’s against every rule at work, nothing’s felt this right in a long time. Maybe I couldn’t get you out of my head because you’re supposed to be there.”
We spent the next few hours being lazy, snuggled up on the couch watching old Law & Order reruns. I hated for the day to end, but eventually I had to ask Caine to drive me home so I could get ready for work. We dressed in his bedroom together.
I made the bed while he changed into jeans and a polo and brushed his teeth. There was a half-empty box of condoms tossed aside on the nightstand.
The master bathroom door was open so I yelled, “Where do you keep these?”
“What?”
“The condoms.”
“Nightstand. But you can leave ’em out if you want. We’ll be finishing those off soon.”
I smiled as I opened the drawer and went to place the box inside, but a small, silver-framed photo caught my eye instead. Nosy, I picked it up to examine it. It was a picture of Caine’s old band. He was probably in his early twenties and was arm in arm with another guy about the same age. The rest of the band hovered in the background.
Caine appeared and caught me with it in my hot little hands. “I’m sorry. When I opened the drawer, I saw it. I couldn’t help myself. You were so sexy.”
The bed dipped as he sat down next to me. “Were?”
I was relieved he didn’t seem upset at my snooping. Knocking shoulders with him, I teased, “Well, now you’re old and mature, so you’re more handsome than sexy.”
He took the photo from my hand. “Is that so?”
I watched him look down at it, rubbing his finger across the photo. “Me and Liam and the band.”
“You all look so happy. Why do you keep it in the drawer?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s not easy to see some days.”
I knew the feeling. When I first decorated my apartment, I had days when I passed by the photo of my mother and it made me sad. But eventually I got used to seeing it, and over time, I started to smile at her each morning.
“It gets easier if you leave it out. When you tuck it away, you’re burying it, and it never heals.”
Caine looked at me and nodded in silence. Then he shut the nightstand drawer and set the small photo up on the end table. “You ready?”
I held back on showing him how giddy it made that he took my advice. The first few times he looked at it would probably be rough, but maybe it was time. Plus, I was hoping I’d be around to help him feel better as he slipped into bed each night.
Grabbing my purse in the living room, I rummaged through to find my cell as Caine slipped on his shoes. There were some loose coins on the bottom next to my phone, which gave me an idea—something I hadn’t done in a long time.
“Hang on,” I said. “I forgot something in the bedroom.”
Walking back to the end table, I took one last look at the old photo of Caine and Liam before closing my eyes and making a little wish. Then I tossed the two copper pennies in my hand on the floor for Caine to find later.
Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you’ll have good luck.
Satisfied, I smiled and turned around to head back to the living room. Not expecting to see Caine filling the doorway, I jumped at finding him there. My hand clenched at my chest. “You scared me.”
Caine’s eyes flicked to the floor to look at the pennies and then came back to roam my face. “What the hell did you just do?”