Why couldn’t I be normal?

It was obvious he was as worked up as I was. For the briefest moment, I’d wanted him to go there. Was I a tease?

I paced the floor, agitated to the point I couldn’t sit. Why couldn’t I get the sound of Mother’s voice out of my head? Then I heard his door close and I forced myself to stand still.

His steps slowed when he caught me standing by the door.

“I should go.”

“Why?”

My treacherous eyes dropped to his crotch. Embarrassed, I spun around and covered my face with my hands.

He came up behind me and pried my hands free after spinning me to face him.

“I’ll walk you home if you want. But I’d rather you stay.”

“But—” I was more humiliated than I’d been in my entire life.

“We can watch SNL or something and things will calm down.”

When he held out his hand, I took it and let him lead me back to the couch. We sat, side by side.

He tucked an arm around me, but didn’t do anything remotely sexual.

As the night wore on, I curled next to him, legs folded beside me. I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until I woke up. It took me a moment to realize I was alone on his bed. I sat up to find he wasn’t in the room. But he’d covered me with a blanket.

Worried, I got up and scrambled down the stairs to find him half on, half hanging off of the couch. He looked so uncomfortable, I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Who was this guy? He wasn’t anything like I assumed men would be.

Something inside me loosened. Like a knot of fear had been balled up inside me. In its place I felt giddy. It was the kind of happiness I’d thought was lost to me. But he’d brought hope back. There was something else. Though I didn’t dare give it a name, I was sure with him…maybe…anything could be possible.

As if he felt me staring at him, he stirred, stretching those strong limbs of his. He blinked at me a few times before speaking.

“Morning, Biscuit.”

I was slowly getting used to the name. It seemed odd at first, but the fact that he called me that made it kind of cute.

“I should go home and brush my teeth and get breakfast before the café closes for the morning.”

“If you give me a minute, I’ll clean up quick and come with you.”

I did. He walked me to my door, holding my hand. Never before had I been envious of couples that did that. But I couldn’t help the smile that played on my face as we walked to my dorm.

The funniest thing ever happened when my other roommate, whom I barely saw, walked out into the common room when we entered, and took one wide-eyed look at Tade before scrambling back to her room.

I found her in there, frantically doing her hair and putting on makeup in our bathroom. Ours had two stalls and two sinks like you would find in a public restroom. The single shower was separate.

“Is that your brother or cousin?”

I tried not to be offended. I’d never brought a guy into our room before. The few conversations I’d had with her that broached the subject of boys, I’d made it clear that dating wasn’t my focus. So I couldn’t blame her for thinking him related to me even though we looked nothing alike.

“No, he’s my boyfriend.”

She pinned me with a gaze. “No way!”

It wasn’t said in a bad way—more like utter shock, because she hadn’t expected me to date anyone based on my statements.

I shrugged. “Can you blame me?”

Her head swung side to side. “If you’d said he was just a friend, I would have knocked sense in your head. Good for you. He’s gorgeous.”

He was more than that: kind, considerate, fun and far different from the guy I’d assumed him to be when I’d first met him.

For that moment, I let it all sink in. He was mine. Mine.

“Hurry up. Don’t leave him waiting.”

I didn’t think he’d mind, but my stomach growled. I hated being hungry. It made me think about all the people in the world who had nothing to eat and reminded me how I couldn’t help them all.

The café was full, which wasn’t a surprise, despite the late hour. Most of the people had been up late, partying no doubt. After getting our food, I went and sat by Megan, who flagged me down. I wasn’t ready to answer any of her curious questions.

She whispered, but I was certain the entire cafeteria heard.

“So that’s where you were last night.”

I stared at her, hoping she would let her implication die a sudden death. There was no way I could tell her what happened and what didn’t with Tade there. I was embarrassed enough as it was.

She aimed a finger at me. “You’re turning pink. Did you guys finally do the deed?”

My jaw dropped, but didn’t lessen the glare I leveled on her. Though my mortification didn’t totally have to do with her question. The fact was I’d been thinking about that very thing a lot even though I’d put the brakes on it last night. There wasn’t much more he had to prove for me to think he might be the right guy to take that step with.

“Did you and Gavin work out all that frustration?” Tade asked, saving me.

It was Megan’s turn to go pink. Kevin walked up to our table, ending Megan’s chance at a comeback.

“Hey Rae.”

“Hi,” I replied, uncomfortable with the silence that descended on our group. “You know Megan and this is Tade.”

Tade reached out a hand. “Her boyfriend.”

Kevin seemed to deflate even though Tade hadn’t sounded possessive when he’d said it. “Of course you are,” Kevin muttered. “Guy like you and a girl like her.”

I was confused by his statement, but grateful when he brought up a familiar subject.

“I wondered if we were going to study today.”

“She’s…” Tade trailed off, glancing at me for what my plans were.

“I’m busy today. How about tomorrow after class?”

“Sure.”

His tone was curt and brusquely, he walked off.

“That guy was so into you,” Megan said before taking a drink of her coffee.

“No way.” I wasn’t clueless when a guy liked me. And Kevin hadn’t ever given me the look or used words to suggest he liked me. “He was into you. You saw him practically drooling at you at the boat race.”

Megan pointed to herself. “I was the fantasy. You were the reality.” I glared back at her. “I don’t mean it that way. Even though you're gorgeous, he thought he had a chance with you because you guys connected on that nerdy level.”

I turned to Tade, who shrugged. “She’s probably right.”

“I should talk to him,” I said.

Tade stopped me from leaving my seat. “You should give him some time before you kill his dreams.”

He grinned before tipping my chin to kiss me. I might have enjoyed it, if a slow clap didn’t start.

Gavin gave us a wicked grin as he loudly announced, “My best friend has finally fallen.”

Fallen where? was my first thought, until Gavin’s gaze, bouncing between us, had the pieces falling into place. Did he think Tade had fallen for me?

Tade wrapped an arm around my waist, tugging me closer to him. It sent a wonderful thrill over my skin.

“You should try it!” Tade announced.

It felt like everyone glanced at us. Though I didn’t like the attention, I let Tade turn my head and kiss me for the whole world to see.

There seemed to be a flash somewhere out in the distance. Or maybe it was the stars that danced in my eyes. I could have shouted it out that I’d very much fallen, and I didn’t want to get up.