Keanna

 

When I wake up on Monday morning, the scent of Jett’s cologne is in the air, which is weird because I’m in my own bed. I open my eyes and yawn, and then I look out the window in front of me. The sun sure seems a little too bright for six in the morning.

I jolt up in bed, and that’s when I realize I’m not alone.

Jett grins at me. He’s lying on top of the sheets, fully clothed, with a smirk on his face. “Morning.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask, as I get out of bed and reach over for my phone and—“Oh shit!” I drop the phone and run to my closet. “I’m late! I’m so late!”

Frantically, I look for an outfit to wear. It’s 9:45 and I’m almost four hours late for work. Why didn’t Mom come get me? Ugh.

Jet appears in my closet doorway, a cocky grin on his face. “You’re not late.”

“Yes, I am!” I say, yanking off my sleep shirt so I can put on a bra. “I’m supposed to be at the front office by 6:30. I can’t believe my alarm didn’t go off.”

“I can,” Jett says. He’s still grinning at me, like he knows something I don’t.

I stop rushing to get dressed and look at him. “What is it?”

“I turned off your alarm so you could sleep in late,” he explains. “It was kind of boring because I’ve been lying next to you forever, waiting for you to wake up.”

“Why didn’t you just wake me up yourself?” I ask. I put on a pair of shorts.

“Because you’ve been working so hard lately, and I wanted you to just enjoy waking up naturally for once.”

“Okay well, I’ll tell your parents it’s your freaking fault I’m late to work.”

“You’re not going into work today,” Jett says. He follows me out of the closet and then takes my hand. “I called in a favor. Krissy from Oakcreek is working in your place today. My parents are totally cool with it,” he says as soon as I start to object. “I told them we need a day off so we can have some time together.”

I can feel some of my resentment starting to melt away. The last several weeks have been hell. The Track is constantly busy and Jett is either out of town, or working with clients. We haven’t had a proper conversation in days.

“We haven’t had any alone time in a while…” I say, smiling up at him.

“No, we haven’t.” He pulls my hand until I step closer to him, and then he kisses my forehead and holds me close. “Let’s spend the day together.”

I lean up on my toes and kiss him. “That sounds like a great idea.”

I can’t exactly say it out loud without sounding like a complaining jerk, but our lives are so different. Jett has motocross. It’s his career. I have nothing but college classes in the fall and a part time job at a dirt bike track. He has a future—I have regular life.

It’s been bothering me a lot lately. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just not good enough for a guy like Jett, whose future is so bright and exciting. Other times I wonder if I should just suck it up and pretend like I am good enough and enjoy the ride of dating a famous motocross racer. Most of the time, I’m just waiting for him to figure it out on his own and then grow to resent me for holding him back.

I shove all my worries away and try to just enjoy this time with Jett. After I finish getting dressed, he drives us to a café on the outskirts of town and we order breakfast among the smell of bacon and coffee in the air.

“So tell me about your last race,” I say while we’re eating. I’d been kind of cold to him yesterday when he got home, so he still hasn’t updated me on anything.

He’s always happy to talk about the races when he’s actually won it. If he loses—and by getting even second place, he considers it a loss—he’d rather talk about anything else in the world.

After breakfast, we drive to the beach and Jett holds my hand while we walk along the sand. It reminds me of when we first started dating, all sweet and innocent. We hit up the shops on the strand and look at artwork on display from local artists. For lunch, we grab tacos from a food truck and eat them on the patio of a nearby hotel, pretending to be tourists instead of residents.

Then we go back down to the beach and enjoy the beautiful summer day. We walk for a long time without talking about much of anything. The only sounds are the waves crashing to shore, the call of a seagull flying overhead, and distant screams and laughter from children playing on the shore.

“It’s nice to relax,” I say after a while.

“Mmhmm,” Jett says. I look over at him and he’s walking with his eyes closed, face tipped up to the sky. “Everything is calm on the beach,” he says. I think he’s going to say more, but he doesn’t.

“Life has been crazy lately,” I say to fill in the gap.

He squeezes my hand. “Life will probably always be crazy, baby doll. But I have you with me so that helps me get through it.”

I roll my eyes and he grins. “What?”

“So cheesy,” I say, poking him in the stomach.

He blows a raspberry. “I’m sorry my love for you is cheesy.”

I poke him again and reaches out and tickles my ribs, making me squeal and flail to get him away.

“If you think what I said was cheesy… well…” Jett runs a hand through his wind-blown hair and gives me a look.

“Well, what?” I say.

He shrugs. “You’re about to see the ultimate biggest cheesy thing ever.”

I lift an eyebrow but he doesn’t explain anymore. He just keeps walking.

“Oh, come on,” I say, grabbing his hand. “You have to tell me. What’s cheesy?”

“You’ll see…”

And I do.

At the very end of the beach, where the public part of the sand ends for a row of private beach houses, Jett has pulled out all the stops when it comes to cheesy surprises. His best friend D’andre stands before us, his hands clasped in front of him as if he were a butler or something.

“Hello, lovebirds,” he says, winking at me. In a swift motion, he steps to the side and reveals what’s been set up behind him with a sweeping of his hand through the air.

A plaid blanket is laid out on the sand. Large candles in glass mason jars are sitting on all four corners of the blanket to hold it down, and they’re lit, their flames glowing in the evening sun. A picnic basket is in the middle of the blanket, along with a small cooler, a few pillows, and a Bluetooth speaker.

“I did everything you asked,” D’andre say as he fist bumps Jett in their usual hello gesture. “I also brought a speaker. Figured you could play some romantic music or some shit.”

“Nice,” Jett says. “Thanks, man.”

“Anytime.” He waves goodbye and then jogs off down the beach, leaving us here at this romantic little set up.

“You arranged a picnic for us?” I say.

Jett grins. “I know… it’s kind of lame. But I also thought it’d be fun. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It’s perfect,” I say. I grab his sides and kiss him, closing my eyes and allowing myself to really feel every part of his kiss. Jett’s soft lips on mine, the slight minty smell of his toothpaste mixed with the salt in the air. The way the scruff of his chin brushes against my face.

“I love you,” I whisper.

His hands slide up and down my back. “I love you more.”

We sit on the blanket and eat dinner, which is a very cool and very chic meat, cheese, and veggie ensemble that Jett had D’andre pick up from the local French Market in downtown Lawson. We watch the ocean turn from blue to orange as the sun begins to set, and down the beach a little ways, someone makes a bonfire which smells like summer.

After the sun has set, Jett and I listen to music and lay side by side, watching the stars while the ocean gently crashes onto the shore.

“I had fun today,” I say, nuzzling against his chest.

“I’m glad.” Jett exhales slowly, his gaze fixed on the stars. “I’m sorry things have been hard lately. I hate coming home and knowing you’re upset with me.”

“I’m not—” I begin, but I know it’d be a lie. I sigh and try to gather my thoughts. How can I tell Jett I worry that I’m not good enough for him? What if my confession makes him realize it for the first time?

“Your life is so much cooler than mine,” I say after a while. I can tell Jett is listening intently to every word I say, so I try to choose the right ones to define what I’m feeling. “I’m just afraid you’re going to pass me by.”

“Our lives are the same, Keanna. I mean…we’re two different people with sometimes different schedules, but we’re on the same track. Two passengers—same train.”

I lean up on my elbow. “What does that mean?”

“It means where you go, I go, and I hope you feel the same way. I meant it when I said I’d quit motocross for you. If you’re missing something in your life, let’s go find it.”

“No…” I smile because even though my heart aches, I just love him so much. “I don’t want anything else. I just want you, and your motocross life and my job and my family. I’m just always afraid that I’m not bringing anything worthwhile to the table. I’m just…a loser.”

“Don’t feel that way, baby. You’re an amazing person. You help the Track stay in business, which is a good thing because that place will belong to us someday.” Jett grins. “You’re the hottest girl a guy could ask for, and yeah, that’s sexist or whatever, but trust me, it’s a good thing. You keep me motivated and encouraged to work hard. You’re always there when I need you, and you’re the only person in the world I can spend all day with and still not want to leave.”

“Go on,” I say with a playful smirk. He laughs.

And then he’s on top of me, his body balanced just above mine, his hands on either side of my head. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you more,” I say back.

He kisses my forehead, my nose, and then my lips. “Impossible.”