Chapter Two
The next morning, I woke up feeling as if I had poison in my stomach. I buried my face against my pillow, groaning; my head was pounding, every joint in my body felt like it was packed with broken glass, and I was sure that if I moved too quickly, I’d throw up everywhere. I managed to get out of my bed, crawling on my hands and knees to my desk. I grabbed a bottle of Gatorade from the bottom drawer — it was warm, but it would help — and I rummaged in one of the other drawers until I found the bottle of aspirin I kept for regular headaches. I pulled the shades over my window and crawled back into bed, sipping Gatorade while I waited for the aspirin to kick in. It had been ages since I’d had a hangover, and this one felt like it was worse than the last one I’d ever gotten. That punch was lethal.
My headache started to wear off, but I still felt aches all over, and my stomach told me in no uncertain terms that if I put anything else into it before the Gatorade was fully in my system, it would punish me. I took a deep breath and told myself that a shower would make it at least a little better. I managed to grab my towel and robe and staggered out of my room; the walls swooped and twisted around me, the floor seemed to be tilted. Somehow, I got into the bathroom and threw my things onto the countertop before I lurched into the shower and sat down on the bench Jess had bought the second week into term. I turned the water on; it was ice-cold and I yelped in shock as it hit my hot skin. Definitely not a great way to improve things.
It began to heat up and I sat underneath the flow, letting it soak me from head to toe. I wondered as my brain started to regain normal functioning if I remembered to take my makeup off when Jess and I had gotten in; it didn’t seem that important. I stayed on the bench while I scrubbed, washing from head to toe. I still didn’t feel fully human, but by the time I finally turned the water off, I thought I could at least manage to stay upright, and maybe even eat something. I dried myself off and wrapped the robe around myself and padded into the common area, keeping the towel over my head as I sank down onto the couch and grabbed a box of cheese crackers that was on the coffee table — anything in the common area was free game. They were a little stale, but they tasted good; I thought longingly of a nice, big cup of coffee.
Jess bounded out of her room with a smile on her face, throwing herself on the couch next to me. “You should not even be this chipper,” I said. My head still ached — not as much as before, but a dull throbbing at my temples and behind my eyes that the aspirin didn’t seem to touch.
“Ah, hungover, are we?” I frowned at Jess and she laughed. “You should have gotten the cure from me before you went to bed.”
I rolled my eyes in spite of the fact that it sent a cold jolt of pain through my skull.
“What’s the cure?”
Jess leaned against me. She was in pajamas, and she had somehow managed to take a shower either right when we’d gotten back, or earlier in the morning than I had.
“Oh, you drink a whole bottle of water and eat a big bowl of ramen before you go to bed. Works every time.”
I shuddered. “I can’t even imagine how that would even do anything about the fact that I feel like someone tried to poison me.”
Jess rumpled my hair with the towel. “We’ll go down to the dining hall and get some pancakes in you and you’ll be good as new.”
On the weekends, the dining hall did brunch through the early afternoon, with pancakes and make-your-own waffles. I’d gone a few times even though I hadn’t been out late the night before, just to keep Jess company and because there were some lunch items I liked.
“These crackers are doing me just fine for right now. But you’re kind of a bitch for insisting I have that last drink — just so you know.”
Jess laughed. “You didn’t have to; you could have totally faked that shit. I was pretty drunk myself.”
I shrugged. “It wasn’t worth fighting over then. It is now, though.”
Jess got up and went into her room, coming back with a can of coffee — barely chilled. She put it in my hands and I cracked it; it wasn’t as good as a hot coffee, but it would do the job.
“So tell me about that guy you were talking to last night,” she said, her bright blue eyes dancing.
I shrugged, feeling my face burn. “Eh, he’s not important.”
Jess raised her eyebrows. “Oh come on, you wouldn’t have talked to him if he wasn’t important. I saw him make a beeline to you. You know each other, don’t you?”
I shrugged again, not wanting to admit how turned on — and then how turned off — I had been the night before, all because of Zack.
“Well, he’s… it’s not important, but he and I dated for a couple of years in high school. We broke up when he started college; he’s a couple of years ahead of me.”
Jess’s eyes widened. “Oooh, tell me more!”
I rolled my eyes. The coffee and the cheese crackers were starting to help.
“Not much to tell, really. He saw me, we talked a bit…we danced, we kissed, and that was it.”
Jess looked at me for a long moment, shaking her head. “It’s like every hot guy in the world is totally wasted on you. He’s totally fuckable — why didn’t you stay the night?”
I shook my head at her. “Someone came up and said I was his piece of ass for the night and just…ugh.”
Jess made a face, her lips twisting in a grimace. “Yeah, I can see where that would put you off, especially if you have history with him.” She shrugged. “So tell me about him! Come on, if you dated for two years, it had to have been good.”
I thought about it — about the dates Zack and I had gone on, about the little presents he had given me, about watching him play.
I thought to myself that it wasn’t like Jess would run around telling everyone, so I told her about Zack asking me out in my freshman year, and how he’d been with me when my mom started to get sick. I told her about the stupid little things — the dates, being some kind of hot commodity because I was dating an upperclassman.
“But what was the sex like? I know you aren’t a virgin.”
I blushed. She was right — I lost my virginity in sophomore year.
“Eh…it wasn’t really anything special. I mean, I think — I’m not sure — but I don’t think I was his first. But he was mine. It was just sort of…sex, you know? I just kind of laid there. The first time I guess it was hot just because, you know, it was the first time. But we only did it a couple of times after that and it didn’t ever really get to be good, exactly. Certainly, no screaming orgasms.”
“That’s a damn shame. I would think a guy like that at least would have a nice-sized dick to get things done with.”
I thought about it; it occurred to me I didn’t really have any way to gauge how big Zack was. I had been with one other guy since him, and while the sex had been better, I hadn’t really paid attention to size.
“I guess he was average? I wasn’t really paying attention to that so much.”
Jess nodded slowly.
“Oh man! I have to tell you about my night.”
I grinned. “Okay, so what was up with the guy you were with?”
I knew that it would be more than I wanted to know — Jess always told more than I wanted to know — but I also knew Jess would be hurt if I didn’t pretend to be at least a little curious about her night.
“He was hot, right?” Jess raised her eyebrows at me and I nodded; the guy had been good-looking, though since he was tall and skinny he wasn’t really my type. “His name is Nelson. Hoo buddy, he was a good time. I might see him again.”
“So you two were just cuddling on the couch and making out?” That didn’t seem like Jess’s usual MO.
Jess laughed out loud. “Nah, we were in the bathroom before you caught up to me. Nelson’s room was too far away. We danced for a while and then we had a quickie there — he wanted me to stay the night, but I know better.”
It was the second time in two months Jess had mentioned a quickie like that. I didn’t think any the worse of her for it, but I could never have a one-night stand like that.
“Oh man, you should’ve seen his cock, Evie — I don’t know if it’s true of all black guys, but Nelson was definitely packing. Totally lived up to stereotype.” I rolled my eyes. “I swear to god it was like a baseball bat in his pants. It was good though — right up against the sink.”
Jess went on about Nelson for a while and I only partially paid attention, enough for her to think I was listening to every word. He was apparently on a basketball scholarship, top pick for the pros in a year or two. He’d been the top college pick out of high school and the frat had barely even made him work to be a pledge — they’d let him in right away. He definitely fit into the bad boy image that Phi Alpha Kappa had; Jess told me that she’d almost want to date him, if it weren’t for the fact that he was a total hound.
“Man, as good as that quickie was, I wouldn’t mind bringing him back here for the night. But he’s definitely not relationship material. He’d be chasing the next skirt the minute I turned my back.”
I nodded. In spite of the fact that I’d told myself I wouldn’t even think about Zack again, he rose up in my mind, along with the “piece of ass” comment his frat brother had made. When we’d been dating, Zack had been faithful; but it was easy to imagine he’d turned into the kind of guy who just slept with a girl and evicted her from his bed the next morning without batting an eyelash.
I didn’t like to think about Zack being that way. It was his right to sleep around as much as he wanted; I had no hold on him. We’d been broken up for more than a year. But it still turned my stomach to think about Zack sleeping around without being attached to anyone. I wondered while I dried my hair if it would make me feel worse to know Zack was sleeping around or to know he started up a new relationship. It wasn’t important, I told myself firmly. I shouldn’t feel bad either way. If Zack had a new girlfriend, that was his business. I wondered how he would react if I had a new boyfriend; but then I took a deep breath and told myself that that didn’t matter either. We were two separate people who happened to run into each other, and because of alcohol and old feelings, we’d ended up making out a little. It was no big deal. I wouldn’t think about it again.