NEGATIVE NUMBERS
DR. GREEN
Sean Green was knee-deep in camping supplies that had managed to make it back. Kota’s bedroom floor was covered in sleeping bags. Bins were partially filled with dirty clothing, separated appropriately for washing the loads a few at a time.
He chewed a thumbnail, sitting on the floor, his back against Kota’s bed. He watched Sang on his phone, using the cameras as she ate dinner, and then dealt with Carol while Sang washed dishes.
Sang shook like a leaf. Whatever she was doing, she stared at the floor, shaking, looking tired and defeated.
He couldn’t hear what was said, only watched how she moved. He told himself to keep an eye on her, to look for signs that she was ill. Would she faint again? Why couldn’t Carol see she needed rest more than the dishes needed to be done?
They were doing this completely wrong. Despite what Owen had said to him, there was a sinking feeling in his heart that they were going to lose her in this.
If Carol was anything like his own mother, she’d change Sang into believing she knew what was best. Never listen to her. Never honestly care about what was in Sang’s heart. She’d get stuck always coming back to Carol to prove to her that she was normal, and to follow whatever she said.
Owen wasn’t listening to Sang, either. She clearly didn’t want to be there. At all. She was being brave going through this at such a time, and yet you could tell she hated it.
Sean rolled his head back, staring at the ceiling, trying to control himself.
Too stressed.
Too exhausted.
Don’t make rash decisions when tired. That was always a rule. But it was driving him insane waiting like this.
Getting himself invited over to dinner the next night had already gotten a lecture from Owen.
Not part of the plan. Owen said it was too soon to start with dates. It wouldn’t go well.
Sean didn’t agree. If it got Sang out of the house later, even for an evening, it’d be worth it.
The door to Kota’s bedroom opened and then closed. A loud thud like someone sitting down hard on the carpeted steps that led to the room over the garage.
Kota spoke softly.
Owen couldn’t hear too well, but when he checked the phone again, Sang had the house phone in her hands and was talking into it.
In front of Carol.
Sean smirked, rather proud of Kota. That wasn’t approved. He would have heard from Owen about making phone calls. The only one approved was Uncle, asking to see if she’d come in tomorrow.
Sean eased himself quietly around piles of clothing and bags, crawling to the banister to look over.
Kota sat on the stairs, cell phone against his ear, staring at the closed door.
“I’m with you, Sang. I’m right here.” His voice strained. He was bowed over his knees as he sat, hand at his chest, like he was calming a racing heart.
Sean’s heart twisted. Kota knew about the plan, but word was he didn’t approve of it. Had he changed his mind?
Part of him envied how Kota had risked a good lecture from Owen by making a call without approval, just to talk to her.
He should have thought of it. Maybe he could…
“Miss you already,” Kota said into the phone and then pulled it away from his face, quickly hanging up. He stared at the cell phone in his hand, the screen still lit, with Sang’s photo still up next to the details of the ended call.
Kota clutched the phone tighter. When the screen darkened, he released it, letting it fall down the steps to the first-floor landing, where it clunked next to the door.
Kota bent forward, hands against his head.
“One,” he whispered. “Two…”
Sean gripped the banister posts, feeling a deep wave of sadness wash over him, contorting his face and making his eyes water.
This was tearing them all apart.
Sean moved to the top of the stairs and then quietly stepped down, stopping near Kota.
Kota turned his back on him. He clearly heard Sean, knew he was up here. Kota leaned against the wall, pressing himself against it, as if to give Sean room to walk around. He kept his face covered. His glasses fogged.
Sean sat down next to him. He looked at Kota’s phone on the floor, facedown on the carpet, waiting.
He didn’t want to talk if Kota didn’t want to. But he wasn’t just going to leave him like this either. However long it took, he’d stay until Kota asked him to go, or until he seemed okay.
Kota breathed slowly through his nose and out his mouth. He took his glasses off, set them in his lap and covered his face. “I promised her,” he said through his hands. “I promised her I’d get her out of there. She’s right back where she started.”
Sean wrapped an arm around his shoulder, trying to offer what little support he could. “We’ll get her out.”
Kota bent forward, bringing his knees to his chest, hanging his head down and glaring at the stairs. “We had her out. We should have kept her. We should have made a deal with him. ‘Don’t talk about her and we’ll fix it. We’ll hide her past. We’ll make her disappear so he’s never convicted.’”
Sean breathed out slowly between his lips. He sat back, putting his elbows on the stairs behind him. “Tried. He wouldn’t talk about her, remember?”
“I should have talked to him,” Kota said. He sat up again, leaning on his knees, staring blankly at the door, the front of his hair askew and his cheeks red. “I should have told him the last time we saw him. Right after we pulled her out of the closet. I should have—”
Sean placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “Stop this,” he said. “Stop. You’ll drive yourself insane. We’ve got what we have now. She’s not hurt…” Even as he said it, he didn’t believe it. He knew better.
He was sounding like Owen.
Kota grunted. “She’s hurt. You can hear it. She doesn’t want this.”
“None of us do.”
“Then why are we doing it?” Kota asked, voice rising. He turned to Sean, eyes glassy and face red. “The longer we pretend to go along with this, the harder it’ll be to get her out.”
Sean pressed his lips together hard. If he wasn’t the only one feeling this way, then Kota was right. This was the wrong choice.
“Kota,” Sean said quietly. “If we want her out sooner, we’ve got to work together on it.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“You can’t fall apart on the others. They’ll swoop in and take her out.”
Kota rolled his eyes. “I’d do it.”
“I know,” Sean said. He combed his hair with his fingers, thinking. “I don’t think we should listen to Owen. I think we need to work every angle until she’s out completely.”
“We can’t go against Mr. Blackbourne.”
“Despite what you think of him, he isn’t always right. Playing by the rules doesn’t apply when all the rules have already been broken.”
Kota sucked in another breath through his nose. “He hasn’t been following the rules since he met her. I should have seen it before. He’d never break the rules for anyone, not for any of us.”
Sean nodded his head. “He loves her.”
Kota closed his eyes, pushing his palms against them. “Not as much as I do.”
Sean’s heart sunk hearing this. The way he made it sound was testing his own feelings for Sang. “It’s not a competition.”
“It is when I wasn’t in the game for so long,” he said. “No one told me.”
“You weren’t ready.”
Kota stood on the stairs and bent over, voice harsh. “We tell each other everything, remember? No secrets. I brought her into the shower, kicking and screaming. I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t hate my guts at this point.”
Sean got up, holding on to the rail for support. “You think she’d hate you?”
“I broke my promise to her,” Kota grumbled. “You’re wrong. This is a competition. We’d all have to win her over for it to work, right? Well, I’m in negative numbers now. Thanks for the heads-up.” He rushed up the stairs and into the bathroom, slamming the door closed.
Sean sat on the stairs again, lowering his head.
He wanted to tell himself what Kota said was wrong, but was it?
Sean had hardly gotten any time with her. He’d heard so much about her, watched her on a screen.
How much did she really know about him? Not as much as he knew of her.
Did she care about him like she did Owen?
He remembered the way Owen had scolded her for playing a video game, and that dour sadness that had followed her when she went to bed.
Heart broken.
Because she loved him and wanted to make him happy.
And the next morning, he did something and she was all doe-eyed after that point.
Sean didn’t want to break her heart like Owen had, but he’d do anything to get her to look at him that way.
Kota was right. It was a competition, but not between them.
They’d all have to find a way to win her heart.
Sean’s phone buzzed, and he groaned. An alarm sounding a reminder. His mother was due in at the airport. He couldn’t stay and talk to Kota.
But he couldn’t just leave him like this.
He left the house and walked to his own car, parked across the street at Nathan’s house. Out of habit, he sent a message to Owen.
Sean: Kota’s having a hard time with guilt, feels like he needs to win points with Sang. Calm him down? Maybe we can get them together tomorrow.
No immediate answer. Owen might be busy, but he usually responded quickly, at least with a ‘got your message’ response.
But then, everything had been turned upside down in the last couple of days.