I stop playing my violin when I feel the thump in my stomach. A smile spreads across my face. That one was a kick for sure. We found out last month that we are having a little boy. I keep thinking I feel him, but I’m never quite sure. That one was a kick for sure, though. I put my violin back in its case and set it on the bench.

Calder and I knew we would be moving soon, but he still insisted on setting up an area for me to play in the penthouse. I always leave the door open. His home office is right across from it, and he likes to listen to me play when he’s working.

He hardly goes into his work office anymore. His administrative assistant brings him what he needs, or he’ll have us both stop over after we have lunch. He keeps telling me he’s making up for the lost months. I feel bad that I might be keeping him away from work but not bad enough to tell him he should go in. I like having him around and soaking up this time we have, just the two of us before the baby gets here.

I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I can’t seem to get enough of it. I’ve never wanted to have attention showered on me, but when it comes to Calder, I can’t seem to get enough of it.

Since I told him I’d give us a real try, everything has been perfect. He still hasn’t told me he loves me. It stings, but with the way he treats me, I can’t complain. He dotes on me and tends to my every need. Sometimes it’s actually a little much.

I found his stupid baby book the other day and tossed it in the trash. I had to hide a giggle when he searched for it for an hour last night. That book was driving me insane. I make my way out of the room and step into his office, rolling my eyes when I see a new baby book sitting on his desk. I shove it behind one of the throw pillows on the little sofa he has in here. I often lie on it and read while he works.

I head back to the bedroom and pop my head in but don’t see him there. He wouldn’t have left without telling me. Now that I think about it, I don’t actually think we have been apart since we moved in together. Whenever he leaves, I go with him, be it grocery shopping or looking at new homes.

When I hear a noise down the hall, I head for the entryway. The sight in front of me stops me in my tracks. Calder has his arms wrapped around a woman. When she turns her face, I can see it’s Sidney. The breath leaves my lungs, and I stand there shocked.

We haven’t talked about her since my father brought her up at dinner. I didn’t want to. I don’t know how long their affair went on, or if they were together those months I was away at school before he’d found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want to know. I was going with the whole ignorance-is-bliss thing, but I knew he hadn’t been with her since we got married. It just isn’t possible, but here she is in our home, both of them with their arms wrapped around each other.

She pulls back from Calder when she catches sight of me, making Calder turn and look, too. I just stand there. I can’t seem to form words.

“I thought I felt the baby move,” I finally say, then turn and practically run down the hallway.

I hear Calder yell my name, but I slam the bedroom door behind me. As I sit down on the edge of the bed, I feel the baby kick again. When the door opens, I’m surprised to see Sidney standing there.

“Hear me out?” she says, raising her hands. “I promise it’s not what you think.” It’s then I see her face. It’s blotchy, like she’s been crying. I immediately feel bad for her. I know what it feels like for Calder to break your heart.

She walks over and sits next to me.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I feel like I know you already.” She gives me a half-smile, then looks at my belly. She reaches out to touch it but stops short. I just nod. Since I got pregnant I’ve noticed people like to touch your belly. Many don’t get the chance because Calder literally growls at them. It’s kind of adorable and makes me giggle every time.

“He’s so happy. I haven’t seen him like this since before his parents died. You’ve really brought him back to life. I could hear it in his voice every time we talked on the phone. I saw it on his face when he opened the door today. Thank you.”

I can see how much she cares about him. It’s all over her face. “You knew his parents? He doesn’t talk about them much.” I’ve tried to get him to a couple times, but I can see the flash of pain on his face anytime I bring it up, so I’ve stopped. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose my dad.

“I pretty much lived over there with them. My parents are difficult. Calder and I pretty much grew up together. His parents knew I was,” she pauses for a second, “gay. Mine, not so much.”

“You two have never been…?” I find myself asking. Her face scrunches in disgust.

“No. He’s like my freaking brother. It’s how it’s always been. He was protecting my secret. Because we knew when my family found out, they would lose it, and he’s been helping me hide it, even going so far as pretending to be my boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry if I came between you guys.” I’m starting to think I’m the reason why she might be here crying. Something happened. I’m also guessing Calder has been making her stay away because he didn’t want to share the secret that wasn’t his to tell.

“No, it was time. I had to come clean to my family. I knew how they would react, but it still hurt. I wanted to tell Calder I finally did it. He was the first person I thought of. It’s really just been him and me for the past seven years.”

I reach out and grab her hand. “Well, now you’re about to be an aunt,” I tell her. She smiles. I know Calder doesn’t have any family besides the baby and me, but I realize she is his family, too. I’ve been wanting that from him. For him to tell me more about his past, and now I’m seeing it and I’m going to embrace it.

“He told me you were sweet.” She laughs. “In fact, he couldn’t shut up about you.”

“When?” I can’t help but ask.

“I knew something was up after New Year’s. He’d been gloomy since he lost his parents, throwing himself into work nonstop, but I could tell there was something else. Being around him was like being around a freaking bear. One night we were playing video games, and he drank a little much, and I seized the opportunity to get him to spill the beans finally.”

I scoot a little closer. “What did he say?” I ask, making her laugh.

She looks over at the door and I follow her line of sight to see Calder standing in the door. “Tell her.”

“That he would do anything to get you back. That you were his one, like his dad always told him his mom was his one.”

“You said that?”

Calder just nods.

“Said he wanted to give you time. That he’d fucked up. Shocker.” Sidney laughs at her own joke. “That he tried to reach out, but you wouldn’t respond, so he figured you needed more time. Then he kind of snapped.”

“You didn’t reach out.” I shake my head. No phone calls or anything.

“I emailed you every day,” he says, a confused look crossing his face.

“You did?”

“You didn’t get them?” He steps into the room. “You didn’t get them,” he repeats, but this time it’s a statement.

“The university got a whole new email system over Christmas break after the semester ended. Everyone got new email addresses. The old one remained active, but I never checked or used it.” All this time I’d thought wrong. That he’d only come back because he knew I was pregnant, somehow.

“I thought you came because you found out I was pregnant. That's why you wanted to get married. Wait.” I run back through my mind. “You asked me to marry you before you actually knew, didn’t you? Oh, my God.”

Calder walks over to the bed and drops to his knees in front of me.

“I’m going to leave, you guys. I’ll call later, and we’ll do dinner. I can tell you lots of funny stories,” Sidney says as she exits the room, leaving us alone. Calder cups my face.

“I came for you. The baby was a bonus.”

“What made you finally come? I swear, I never saw your emails.”

“I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d been in darkness so long, and that day I came up onto the balcony you lit my life back up. I tried to stay away at first. But my mind kept buzzing with the idea of us being together. Having a family again. I wanted it bad. Then I fucked it up. Sent you running. I couldn't get you to respond, and your dad said you were graduating, and I knew I had to go. Had to see you.” He looks down, rubbing my baby bump and then back at me. “I should feel bad, but I went there with the intention of blackmailing you. I thought you were ignoring me. I just thought if I could get my hands on you, I could make you fall in love with me. I just had to get you back first, and I was willing to do just about anything to do that. Anything. Knew I’d already fucked up a ton. That you probably hated me. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

His forehead drops to mine when he’s done with his confession.

“You didn’t have to make me fall in love with you. I’ve been in love with you from that first kiss. I love you.”

His mouth takes mine in a hard kiss. His tongue pushes in and both his hands dive into my hair. When he pulls away, we’re both breathless.

“You know that’s the first time you’ve said that without me making you?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been keeping it from me?”

“You’ve never said it.”

He pulls back to study my face like I’m crazy. “I’ve never told you I loved you?” he asks like I’m making it up.

“Trust me. I would remember that.”

“Fuck.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Of course I fucking love you. I can’t even breathe when I’m not near you.”

My heart flutters, and I feel the baby kick again.

“The baby is moving,” I tell him, bringing his hand to my belly. I watch as awe takes over his face.

“We made that baby. Our first night together. The world knew we had to be together and made sure we’d always be tied to each other.”