The steering wheel takes the brunt of my anger. I stare at the water tower with blurred vision as tears burn my eyes. When I imagine what the scene of the car crash looked like, the anger overwhelms me. I should’ve been there for her. I shouldn’t have left. This is all my fault.

I jerk my head to the side as the passenger door opens. “Figured I’d find you out here.” Wayne hops in. He blows out a heavy breath and squeezes my shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”

I close my eyes and nod. “When’d it happen?”

“It’s been about seven weeks.”

One week after I left. Seven weeks, the love of my life has been suffering, and I didn’t even know. I pound my fist into the wheel again, the horn blares back every few strikes. Stopping the assault, I drop my head. “Why didn’t anyone get in touch with me?”

“I tried calling the Red Cross, and they said it had to be an immediate family member. I was hoping you’d call me at some point.” No, I kept the few calls they granted me to call Everly. I must’ve talked to her right before it happened. The other two times I tried to call her, it went straight to voicemail. “My dad said it was better you didn’t know since there wasn’t anything you could have done.”

I glare at him. “I could have been here for her!”

He shakes his head. “Kase, it was bad when she woke up. She wouldn’t let anyone see her except the doctors. I know you would’ve dropped everything to come back, but it would’ve killed you.”

I shove the door open, jump out and throw my arms out screaming, “It’s killing me now! It fucking hurts, Wayne.”  I drop to my knees on the hard dirt, holding myself up with my hands. Pebbles dig into my already raw palms, but the only pain I feel is my heart twisting. “It hurts,” I keep repeating in agony.

Wayne puts his hand on my back. “Dude, I’m so sorry.” He sits down next to me while I cry, not caring I sound like a chick, bawling. This is what Everly would call an ugly cry.

Fifteen minutes is all I allow before I pull it all back. I can’t change the past. Hope is what I’m left with that she’ll regain her memories. Wayne and I sit on the ground against the truck in its shadow, throwing rocks at the tower.

“What are you gonna do?” He lolls his head my direction. Ain’t that the question of the day?    

I shrug. “I don’t know. If I stay, my chance at being a SEAL is over. If I go, I’ll always regret leaving her.” Boot camp brought out a deep sense of pride in myself. I’ve never had to work hard to achieve anything because of my name. In the Navy, I’m not a millionaire’s grandson or the son of a drunk. I have to work my ass off to prove that I’m great enough to become a SEAL like everyone else. I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life. Until today.

“What’re you suppose to do next for the military?”

“I’m supposed to report back to Illinois for training in two days.”

“If you go, can I get a hold of you?” I nod. I don't start SEAL training for another two months. This is the get your ass in shape before you go phase. “If her memory returns, I’ll call you. There’s nothing you can do from here, especially if they’re sending her to a facility.”

It helps to know I have Wayne here to keep me updated, but I’m still not sure. “I need time to think. It would’ve been an easier decision had I come home, and she was with someone else.”

“Are you kidding me? Everly would've never left you by choice.”

We stay there and talk about boot camp and what he’s been up to. The sun dips low in the sky and I know I need to go home and make a decision. As I drive off, my mind is a flurry of pros and cons.

Fuck, I say to myself when I see my dad’s car in the driveway. I make a conscious decision to run in, grab my bag, and hopefully leave before he sees me. I’d rather spend the night in my truck than stay here with him. The TV is blaring, masking any noise I make walking into the house. I slither down the dingy brown carpeted hallway, grab my bag and head for the front door.   

 As I reach for the gold doorknob, the bastard laughs. I twist my head around to see what he’s laughing at; he’s staring right at me. “Running away again, boy?” he jests, stumbling to his feet. “I guess you weren’t very important to that girlfriend of yours. It didn’t take her long to forget about you.”

Staring at the door, I try to ignore the chill creeping up my spine. Leave. Walk out and forget he ever exists.

“Stop being a pussy, go over there and make her remember you. Be a man.”

The bag slips from my trembling fingers; every muscle stiffens at his insinuation. My pulse spikes to dangerous heights as my vision turns red. I spin around, glaring at the monster, pushing the one down threatening to escape inside me. 

“That’s it. Feel the rage, it’s inside you. Part of you,” he pushes like he’s enjoying the fury running through me. “Show your woman where her place is.”

Something snaps inside me, and I lunge across the floor, slamming my fist into his face. Over and over. Every bruise my mom had flashes through my mind and it’s my job to make sure he feels the pain she did.

I’m yanked off him, thrown to the side of the room, landing on my ass. An intense need to ravage him has me clawing on all fours to get to him, but I’m held back.

“Kase, if you don’t back off, I'll pull my gun out and shoot you,” a voice barks, pushing me back again.  

My chest heaves and I stare down at my raw, bleeding knuckles then look at my lifeless father, his face already swollen, smeared with blood. What did I do?

Sheriff Jake Cole glares down at me. Everly’s father. His hand resting on his holster. Tears sting my eyes as the reality sets in.

“Don’t move,” he snaps, and I nod. He leans down over my father, feeling for a pulse. When he shuts his eyes and shakes his head, I already know. I killed my father.

I cover my head with my hands, leaning in between my legs as my head spins. “He wouldn’t stop,” I wail. “He said I was just like him.” I lift my head and stare at Jake. “I’m nothing like him.” Nausea wreaks havoc on my stomach and I leap up, running to the trash can right before I lose my airport lunch.

“I’m not like him,” I cry over and over.

“Kase, I’m kinda stuck here,” Jake sighs. “I have to take you in.”

My entire future crumbles before my eyes. I’ve lost Everly and now I’ve lost the military. I'll spend the rest of my life in jail.

Jakes stands above me, his hard eyes studying me. “Son, I’m only doing this because I know how much you meant to my daughter.” I swallow, my mind racing, searching for what he'll say. He hates I was with his daughter, so I’m surprised by his words. “Nobody will miss your dad. Leave town and never come back. Not for my daughter, not for anything.” His words are slow and calculated. My thoughts scramble to understand what he’s saying.

“What about…” I pause, looking at my dad’s lifeless body. 

“I’ll take care of it. Do we have a deal?”

I’ve already lost Everly, so leaving this town and never returning is an easy decision. But what if Everly's memory returns? I won’t be able to explain myself, leaving right now will be the end of Kase and Everly. I squeeze my eyes shut. What do I do?

“Kase, you need to decide. I called backup when I got here and heard you fighting. They’ll be here any minute. The offer is off the table once they walk through that door.”

I scramble to my feet. “Okay.” Everything moves in a slow-motion blur as I grab my bag and run out the door. I glance back at the house knowing it might be the last time I’ll ever see it and then look to the sky.

“I’m sorry, Momma.”